alfdogg

Okay.

Do the Mario~!

Let me start off by saying that this is my first "One and Only" thread and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Now then, training camp is just 9 days away, and the regular season begins in just 5 1/2 weeks with the Suns @ Spurs, Heat @ Sixers, and Mavs @ Lakers, all on national TV, I believe. I assume everyone's rosters are pretty much set and no announcements after this post (short of Jordan's firing in Washington being a work and he's really going to play another season) will have a major impact on my predictions. This offseason went by pretty quick...for a guy who's a big basketball fan like me, it usually seems like an eternity. I won't ask for you guys to predict ALL of the stuff that I will be, but some input would be nice. And this is all assuming Kobe won't go to jail. Here we go: (Playoff teams in bold) Atlantic Division 1. New Jersey 2. Philadelphia 3. Orlando 4. Boston 5. New York 6. Washington 7. Miami Central Division 1. Detroit 2. Indiana 3. New Orleans 4. Chicago 5. Toronto 6. Cleveland 7. Atlanta 8. Milwaukee Midwest Division 1. San Antonio 2. Dallas 3. Minnesota 4. Houston 5. Memphis 6. Denver 7. Utah Pacific Division 1. L.A. Lakers 2. Sacramento 3. Phoenix 4. Seattle 5. Portland 6. L.A. Clippers 7. Golden State Playoffs East New Jersey over Chicago in 5 Philadelphia over New Orleans in 7 Indiana over Orlando in 7 Detroit over Boston in 6 New Jersey over Philadelphia in 6 Indiana over Detroit in 7 New Jersey over Indiana in 7 West San Antonio over Seattle in 5 Minnesota over Dallas in 7 Sacramento over Houston in 6 L.A. Lakers over Phoenix in 5 San Antonio over Minnesota in 6 L.A. Lakers over Sacramento in 7 San Antonio over L.A. Lakers in 7 Finals San Antonio over New Jersey in 7 MVP - Tim Duncan, San Antonio Rookie of the Year - Carmelo Anthony, Denver Most Improved Player - Scot Pollard, Indiana Defensive POTY - Ben Wallace, Detroit Coach of the Year - I can't decide, but it's out of Nate McMillan, Paul Silas and Hubie Brown. 6th Man of the Year - Bobby Jackson, Sacramento Scoring champ - Tracy McGrady Rebounding champ - Ben Wallace Assist champ - Gary Payton Steals champ - Allen Iverson (I'll leave the jokes up to you) Blocks champ - Theo Ratliff All-NBA first team Tim Duncan Kevin Garnett Shaquille O'Neal Tracy McGrady Jason Kidd 2nd team Jermaine O'Neal Dirk Nowitzki Ben Wallace Kobe Bryant (not Kobe hate, just playing with Malone and Payton now won't allow him the stats to make first team) Allen Iverson 3rd team Chris Webber Shawn Marion Yao Ming Paul Pierce Ray Allen (this is my sentimental pick, he doesn't get nearly the credit he deserves. Best two guard in the league aside from T-Mac and Kobe, IMO.) All-defense will probably be the same as last year. All-rookie will be Carmelo, LeBron, Darko and some other guys. Your turn! EDIT: Oh yeah, and Sid shit his pants.

Usher - U Got it Bad

OMG~! POST 1,000,310~!

Tenacious D - Tribute

Kenny Anderson has now *officially* signed with ther Pacers, which gives us our fourth PG. The way Bird has talked, he may be our starter, as well. Not sure where this leaves Anthony Johnson or Jamison Brewer, although I'm sure Brewer will likely spend one more season on the bench sporting his Ziggy Marley-meets-Don Johnson look.

I got mine to work again the other day, so I wouldn't have to! WHOO~!

Wise, you are.

*gives Five-Star Alf splashes to everyone in the thread and poses with the belt*

We could call him "Spreegauskas" now. Seriously though, the only reason the Cavs will get out of the cellar in the Central is because of how badly the Bucks and maybe the Hawks are going to suck. There are too many crybabies and bad attitudes on that team for them to truly improve, no matter how great LeBron is supposedly going to be. This is a trade that was shot down recently: Toronto would have gotten Dikembe Mutombo. Antonio Davis and Kenyon Martin to Portland. Rasheed Wallace to the Nets. Apparently, Davis and Mutombo's salaries didn't warrant making this trade for the Raptors and Blazers.

I heart the bears. Not really, but I heart the bears.

I was fired from McDonald's the day before 9-11. True story.

Kenny Anderson could sign with the Pacers any day. I would have rather had Mark Jackson back, but at least we'll have a veteran at that position. Also, the Hawks will match Utah's offer for Terry. And Sid shit his pants.

Who is this super hero? Sarge? No... Rosemary, the telephone operator? No... Henry, the mild mannered janitor? Could be!

So did Kobe.

He's the greatest, He's fantastic, Whenever there is danger he'll be there... He's the ace, He's amazing! He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best... Dan-ger Mouse... He's terrific, he's magnific. He's the greatest secret agent in the world... Danger Mouse...OUR house! He's the fastest, he's the greatest, he's the best! Dan-ger Mouse... Dan-ger Mouse... Dan-ger MOOOOUUUUSE~! *bomb explodes*

It was supposed to taste like fruit, but it smelled like hot dogs.

From a show in Pittsburgh (Kurt Angle's hometown): Angle says some thing to the effect of needing him back home because of their pathetic sports teams. "I mean, the Pirates are a disgrace..." "The Steelers are an embarassment..." "And the Pens? Actually, the Pens aren't that bad..." (pop) "...but nobody cares about hockey!"