Art Sandusky

Well, if someone says it, it must be true.

I recruited friends of mine to accompany me to a party polluted with scenesters so they could fuck with the passed out ones while I distracted everyone with beatboxing and unorthodox (to them, almost any form of it is anyway) dancing. Once they poured a half-jug of detergent on one, it was time to act tired and leave. There really was no topping that while still keeping from being obvious. Stealth was key.

But it'd be so good, and I say that in all seriousness.

If only someone could whip up a more refined version of Tack's MSPaint job up there.

Kylie - "Slow." Whattashock. (I liked "Red Blooded Woman" waaaaaay more, but "Slow" sounds like a better song)

Orlando Jordan looks weird to me. Something about his facial and skull structure. Like he's always wearing an ill-fitting mask. Maybe it's his lack of eyebrows.

Val Venis was so prepped for big things in mid-2000, but they had to go suck him into that RTC angle and have him dump his phat club entrance music. At the Raw house show here back in June, I yelled from my third row seat "PUT VAL VENIS IN THE MAIN EVENT SCENE!" When people laughed, I had to add "NO, I'M SERIOUS!"

HHH's line was that steroids "aren't like heroin or anything," I believe.

Post of the day. Shame he was sent away, I say. I can lay by the bay and make things out of clay, I just may.

Regardless of broken picture, I saw it on the PPV and truth be told, I would have rather they went for a Sprewell-style belt rather than a turntable motif. Also, on the straps the other medallions look too much like sheriff's badges or something.

This was the only X-Files episode I watched all the way through.

You can look at peoples' mouths and tell. They'll develop those little lines around it.

You've been called out, Phenom! HOW DO YOU RESPOND? Good lord.

I'll bet Mike looks like that too, even at the young age of 28 or however old he was.

Because they lack anything resembling a compelling character, and people the size and build of yourself or people whom you pass by on the street aren't as interesting to watch, no matter how much they leap around. I guess I just imagined the heat for their Velocity match. Or the heat for Kidman vs London at NoMercy. Or the pop when London and Kidman won the tag titles. Or the fact that London and Kidman were getting over without any characters. Boy, we got to go here again, don't we? The whole 'no one cares about cruiserweights' argument. If that is the case, why do people care about Hurricane, Rey, Tajiri? I'll answer for you. They have characters, right? Not really. Tajiri and Helms are two in the crowd. Yet they are (or in Helms' case, can be) over. Rey doesn't exactly have the most develoed character in the world either. So why are they over? They don't have great characters, yet people actually care about them. Could it be, especially in the case of Rey, that people are won over by his ability? No doubt, the mask helps. But, send him out there (on his debut) without, have him wrestle the same match, and he'll be over. How about the fact that Spanky was really over despite being a jobber? So, JBL is more interesting than these guys? If that's the case, why would I tune in to SmackDown if Paul London vs Akio was on, you don't give one shit about JBL? Maybe I'm a typical smark who cares only about anyone under 220lbs and does a million flips, or maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that London + Akio = entertainment, while Bradshaw vs Undertaker = complete and utter crap. But hey, I'm just a typical smark. Bring on more JBL! He's good and stuff now, you know? You meant to be sarcastic, but you were spot-on with everything. Good job. Catering to a niche market is not the way to become successful in the grand scheme. Rey is successful because he's one of the few that people already knew when he came in thanks to WCW. They also gave him a completely unique entrance, good theme music, and he's currently with one of the perpetually over people in the company. And yes, the mask and simple "619" are marketing boons. Tajiri spits green shit and kicks off peoples' heads. He also benefitted from ECW notoriety and being stuck in the high-profile position of being the WWF Commissioner's assistant for months as well. Spanky wasn't given as many opportunities as these two, but damned if he didn't have such a clear personality in everything he did. Unlike many of the cruisers, he had a special charisma about him, and it would only help that he was a fresh-faced, rather handsome guy as well. You remember guys like that, even if they don't get a second of interview time. Shit, your average fan probably still remembers him streaking and being the dude who was dancing on the bar at the APA Invitational last year at Vengeance. Little quirks that make a wrestler more individual will go a long way. As for the London/Kidman team, they were certainly getting over by the week. That's absolutely without debate. They defeated a team perceived as stale much to the fans' delight and enjoyed a month or so of #1 show exposure before they were inexplicably broken up and sent back to #2 show purgatory faster than you can say "Kidman is the most boring human on the planet." So part of the problem is exposure. Don't give them a chance to show what they can do to entertain you, the sports-entertainment fan, and they'll never get over. However, these people that have been given chances for the most part can't really convince the audience that they're interesting people. Great matches, but immemorable people involved in them. I give these guys a fair chance to give me a reason to care that isn't made up of all sorts of aerial derring-do, and they don't do it. An air of interchangeability is bred, and so they stay on Velocity, where they can show some skills but no one will notice if they're gone. At least I care if JBL retains or loses the title, or if Undertaker gets his hands on the psychotic poetry-writer. Shit, I'm given more reason to care about the friggin' Bashams week-in and week-out. The people who cry for more cruiser exposure are a small percentage of the fanbase, and you'll never make money (since people keep forgetting the objective is to make money, not to put on mat classics, although those can help make money) catering to a fraction of the fanbase. It's the same reason working the dirtsheets is retarded. Devoting time and resources to something that will yield little return even at its most successful isn't worth the effort.

Bush looks so tiny in that picture.

I aim to please, even though it took my then-drunk ass forever to find it somewhere.

Because they lack anything resembling a compelling character, and people the size and build of yourself or people whom you pass by on the street aren't as interesting to watch, no matter how much they leap around.

What a thunderingly accurate self-assessment.

Just... whatever, dude.

I was there for that Heat match. Angle's "Did you sell my shirt to buy Tequila?" thing was tremendous. Cena is way too cool for Scotty 2 Hotty. It's like pairing Snoop Dogg with any given member of Good Charlotte.

See, Carlito's so cool that people fear him when he CHEWS FRUIT!

Nigga whaterver Kylie does is the shit so backdafuckup.

You fucker.