Mr. S£im Citrus

Yeah... that went about as expected. Would have been a better story if she'd done well but, come on... she's fuckin' fifty! She did have a couple of decent passes, but they might as well have put a folding chair out there on defense.

:: clears throat :: Some shit pops off while I'm on vacation, and I'm not a WNBA fan anymore?

Correlation = causation?

Only if he wore tissue boxes on his feet and built a model of Brother Love out of wood... a Spruce Bruce. Gold!

I hope you said that aloud in your best Doctor Evil voice?

What other boards, indeed.

FADE IN “Hello, ladies and gentlemen,” says Ben Hardy. “I’m on location here in the Bahamas with an SWF.com exclusive to talk to SWF superstar, the Wildchild. Wildchild, we haven’t seen you in action in several weeks in the SWF; what have you been up to?” “I been busy, man,” replies Wildchild. “Between startin’ up my own wress’lin school here on Andros, becomin’ a member of de board of de ACWA, an’ helpin’ Missy plan our upcomin’ weddin’, I’ve had more den enough t’do!” “If you don’t mind me asking, what is the ACWA?” “It’s de Allied Caribbean Wress’lin Associashen,” explains WC. “It’s pretty new, just about five years old… Anyway, it’s like a committee of de biggest independent wresslin promotions down here in de Caribbean. We have one recognized heavyweight champion, an’ one pair of tag team champions dat tour all de promotions down here, as well as each promotions own respective champions… kinda like how dey do in de States.” “Where is the base of this ACWA?” asks Ben. “Right now, in San Juan, but I’m hopin’ dat, as I continue to be more active on de committee, dat I may be able to eventually establish de Bahamas as the central headquarters.” “I imagine that that’s going to require you to have a promotion running down here in the Bahamas,” says Ben. “Do you have any plans for that?” “Oui,” replies WC. “I’ve done a good job takin’ care of my SWF money, an’ I eventually plan t’found a promotion down here; I’ll probably end up being de main bankroller, at least until we get legs down here, an’ I may even have t’be de main guy here, at least until we see whet’er we can succeed in makin’ our own stars… So, I’m sure you can see how my interests are divergin’ a little from de SWF right now.” “I’m glad you brought that up, Wildchild,” says Ben, “because there was something I wanted to talk to you about: it’s been discovered that Sir Marvelous still owns a portion of your SWF contract, stemming back from your most recent stint as Birdman, and that he is entitled to a percentage of your purse money… Is there any truth to the rumor that you’ve been sitting out the remainder of your SWF contract, and refusing to work dates, just so that Sir Marvelous wouldn’t continue to collect a percentage of your pay?” Wildchild leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. He drums his fingertips together for several seconds before he opens his eyes and simply says, “No comment.” “But Wildchild,” persists Hardy, “I…” “Next question.” “Alright,” Ben says slowly. “Is there any truth to the rumor that you took a dive in the four-way for the World Cruiserweight Title, so that Sir Marvelous wouldn’t be able to continue to…” “Next question,” interrupts WC, politely but firmly. Hardy’s face contorts in exasperation. “Fine… What happened to Wild and Dangerous? One minute, you two were challenging for the Tag Team Titles, and the next minute, Johnny disappears without a trace?” Wildchild shrugs sheepishly. “Dat’s de risk you assume when you team up wit’ a guy who’s a government agent… We had lost a chance to become Tag Champs for de sixt’ time, and den, de next day, de concierge had a message from me from Johnny sayin’ dat he had been called back t’de agency, an’ had t’leave dat night. He really didn’ even say *dat* much at de time… I didn’ actually find out until mont’s later what actually happened. But, you know, we’ve talked since den, an’ everyt’in’s cool.” “Will we ever see Wild and Dangerous tearing it up in an SWF ring again?” “Man, I don’ know,” replies WC honestly. “I mean, Johnny was older den I am now when we started; dere’s no tellin’, whenever he gets done wit’ his government service, if he’ll even *want* to wressle after dat.” “And what about you?” asks Ben. “I mean, you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to discuss your reasons for sitting out but, whatever your reasons are, your contract is coming up here soon, the week before Genesis, in fact. What are your plans for the SWF’s premier pay-per-view?” “Honestly?” asks WC. “I haven’t made up my mind yet. I mean, Landon asked me t’make an appearance at de upcoming show in Jamaica, an’ I’ve agreed t’do dat… After dat, doh… We’ll have t’see. I’m undecided on whet’er or not I’m gon’ t’re-sign with de SWF after my contract is up, an’ I’m in de process of interviewin’ for a new agent right now, so I don’ want t’say anyt’in’ on de record for right now.” “But, since you are officially under contract, aren’t you at risk for some legal action by the SWF for not performing?” “Nope,” replies Wildchild with his trademark grin. “You can chalk dat up to one of dose situations where Sir Marvelous outsmarted himself: he negotiated a contract for me where I only had t’work a certain number of dates an’, once I exceeded dat number, de SWF can’t require me t’wressle, an’ has t’pay me double my regular salary if I do wressle.” “Ah,” says Ben knowingly. “The Sting clause.” “Oui,” says Wildchild sheepishly. “Anyway, wit’ de SWF losing dat big corporate sponsorship, I figure I’m doin’ dem a favor by not holdin’ my hand out wit everybody else.” “Well, since you haven’t made up your mind about re-signing, let’s suppose for the sake of argument that your match in Jamaica will be your last: do you have any regrets about never having been heavyweight champion?” “No, not at all,” replies WC matter-of-factly. “It’s no secret dat I’ve always valued de worl’ cruiserweight championship above all ot’er accolades in professional wresslin’. I’m real proud of what I achieved as de cruiserweight champion, an’ real proud dat I was able t’help elevate de stature of what some people would prefer to relegate to a secondary title.” “Aren’t you at all worried that, without you as the centerpiece of the division, that’s exactly where it’s going to end up? I mean, most people in this business tend to be of the opinion that the value of a title is defined by the biggest star in its division. And, with most of the biggest stars in the SWF going after the heavyweight title, there’s a very real risk of the stature of the title being diminished without you.” “I’m very worried about dat,” says Wildchild earnestly. “Every time I’ve stepped away from de cruiserweight division in de past, I’ve seen de worl’ cruiserweight title disrespected in ways dat bring sadness t’my heart. I’ve seen it treated like everyt’in’ from an aftert’ot to an eatin’ utensil. In fact, I had t’ought about requesting a buyout of my contract last year, an’ if not for me bein’ worried about what was goin’ t’ happen t’de cruiserweight division, I woulda done it.” “Do you ever see yourself coming back full-time and taking a shot at the one title that would complete your résumé?” Wildchild shrugs noncommittally. “I don’ really see my résumé as bein’ incomplete. I mean, I’ve done t’ings dat no ot’er wressler has ever done here: most consecutive pay-per-view wins, most cruiserweight title wins, most tag title wins, most defenses in a single title reign, wit de hardcore title, I’m second or t’ird on de all-time wins list… I’ve had a great career. I don’ feel as doh I need t’win de heavyweight title as any kind of “cap” on my career; as far as I’m concerned, de cruiserweight title is de only worl’ title I’ve ever wanted to have, an’ I’ve had de honor of holdin’ dat title more times than anybody else… An’, as far as after Jamaica?” Wildchild pauses before continuing. “You know, I still love dis business, an’ I’ve put way too much into de SWF for me to ever walk away completely. So, who knows what de future brings, no?” Hardy extends his hand to the Bahama Bomber. “Thank you, Wildchild; always a pleasure!” “Likewise,” replies WC, as he shakes Ben’s hand. “Well, folks, there you have it,” says Ben. “Be sure to order your advance copy of our next show from SWF.com, which will be recorded live in Jamaica, for what could be Wildchild’s last match in the SWF. And be sure to check into SWF.com tonight after Our Super Sweet Sixteen for live post-show reaction! With your SWF.com exclusive, this is Ben Hardy!” FADE OUT

Indeed... Hope that your birthday is free of frightened children and leery parents today.

Drat! I knew I shoulda taken Squirrel Girl...

We're posting our top three in the thread? Alright then: 1. TheOriginalOrangeGoblin - got me for four albums I wanted on my island, and even most of his non-R&B stuff is music I can enjoy listening to. 2. Edwin MacPhisto - The most well-rounded list, in my opinion, but TOOG has three of my all-time favorites, and Edwin has none, so Edwin gets second place. At this point, I had difficulty deciding on a third, as only TOOG and Edwin had as many as three albums that I'd have even considered. I'll somewhat reluctantly go with: 3. The Man In Blak - Although, in this case, I'd probably only hold onto Liquid Swords and Revolver, and put the rest up on eBay.

Fuck you. So? How often does expansion make any league "better?" Expansion hasn't made the NBA "better" since the ABA merger.

Charlotte was a GREAT NBA city before George Shinn decided that he was going to extort the city to build him a new arena, and started screwing the team and the city over when they wouldn't cave in. They earned the privilege of another NBA team, it's just that between the way that Shinn left town and the fact that the Bobcats aren't any good, people don't seem to want to come back out to support them. A shame, too. After the Kings, they're my second favorite team; if I lived closer than three hundred miles away, I'd totally buy season tickets.

Oops. I included myself.

I may be the one Kings fan who couldn't care less whether the Kings moved or not... Of course, I've also never lived (or even been stationed, when I was on active duty) within five hundred miles of Sacramento and, while I've been to a couple dozen Kings games, none of them have actually been in ARCO.

Battlenuts seems to be in favor of global Clockwork Orange-esque social engineering. Which is just as retarded as thinking that we can "get rid" of all the guns but, if true, would at least tie up his lunacy into a nice, neat linear train of thought. Maybe he's going to build one of those EMP things like in the movies that causes all mechanics and electronics to stop working?

Yeah that's the logic I was using. Can't consider that missing the point. We're talking about a weapon designed solely to hurt or kill life. If your only answer for needing one is "well bad guys have 'em" I think it'd be redundant of me to make the point again. The answer isn't some lame regulation the answer is to remove the gun from our society. If we're basing policy on the lowest forms of our humanity we have no chance of growing or evolving into peaceful beings. It's the easiest logic in the word. No guns, no gun violence. It's evident everywhere, and yet we still continue to progress this notion that it's too late and somehow the answer is for everyone to be armed. What? So violence didn't exist before gunpowder? Guns aren't the reason people are violent, and anybody who thinks that getting rid of guns will put a stop to violence is fucking stupid. You can't remove guns from society any more than you can remove cars from society.

Shadow boxing? What the fuck? And what happens when (that's right; not if, when) the criminal is armed? This ain't The Last Dragon, motherfucker; real people can't catch bullets with their teeth...

Your logic is impeccable... A table has legs. Battlenuts has legs. Clearly, Battlenuts is a table. You want to ban automatic/assault weapons, I'll be a hundred percent behind that. But the only thing that a ban on all guns is going to accomplish is making it so that only criminals have guns. So, in essence, it'd be illegal to protect myself.

The Impossibles! Rally Ho!

You never know when you may need somebody with the superhuman power to build stuff. So, I'm rounding my team out with: Forge

I got skipped? I don't remember getting a PM but, whatever. Still on me for not checking the board, I guess... Black Canary Top-flight combatant, highly respected strategist, and she can pull off fishnets.

Has Henry ever officially held a title in WWE before? I seem to remember Jeff Jarrett awarding him the European Title, but was that actually recognized?

Ooookaaaay... So much for the only rule that Marvel actually lived by: "Only Bucky stays dead."

So, it's Misty Knight reincarnated as a white guy?

Okay, I'm confused; did the pick get back to me that fast?