The Czech Republic

They're going to work on a farm? The people who are shit are being used as fertilizer?

Cubs broadcasting > White Sox broadcasting. Ron Santo is the Harry Caray for the new generation.

The TV version of the Louganis thing seemed to dwell more on him being HIV positive than the text one.

Jay: Dad, I have a question. What should I do with my life? Franklin: I have a question for YOU. They're called fingers, and yet they don't fing. Noodle THAT one for a while. Man: I have one word for your future: trucking. Franklin: And I have one word too: Snapple. Jay: Oh Dad, you and your made-up words... Are you prone to having blackouts? No. Are you prone to having blackouts? No. Are you prone to having blackouts? No... Are you prone to having blackouts? No! Fine then, Mr. I-Know-Where-I-Am-At-All-Times. Sorry. Are you prone to having blackouts? ...Yes! All right, now there's the matter of the vision test. You see that chart? Yeah-- Okay you pass.

I can't read the sarcasm, if it's there. It's hockey. You have to adjust punishments accordingly. The glass around the rink acts as sort of a damper for severity, I guess. What's unacceptable anywhere else is fair game in hockey. In the NBA you shove a guy and it's a flagrant foul and a big fine. In the NHL you sit on a bench for two minutes. In baseball, you just argue a call at home plate and you're gone. You've really gotta bust your ass to get ejected from an NHL game. That being said, I'd just give Bertuzzi a match penalty and be done with it.

For those who haven't heard here's how it goes. Second round match. Tie-break, score is 2-1. Girl That Isn't Venus serves into the wrong court. Lady yells "FAULT!" but Venus grunts and hits the bad serve back. Other Girl keeps the rally going and "wins" it, and the chair umpire awards a point to tie it, though the serve was never legal. Venus wins the next point after that. OH NO! Venus was up 3-2, but she REALLY should've been up 3-1! CONTROVERSY! She went on to lose it in straight sets, 6-7 6-7. Perhaps you could say she lost it BECAUSE OF THAT AWFUL ERROR BY THAT AWFUL MAN. Venus and Other Girl both dismissed it as human error that they were oblivious to what with being engrossed in the match, and Papa Williams said he holds no ill will towards the judge, because HE IS A GRACIOUS MAN WHO FORGIVES THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS. Venus did The Right Thing by letting it go and not crying about it to the judge, AND THIS WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Other Girl knew something was up but didn't consult a judge, rather she TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE ERROR FOR HER OWN PERSONAL GAIN. Both people acknowledged that the faulty point had no bearing on the outcome of the match since it caused no psychological momentum nor breakdown. But let it always be remembered that IT TOOK AN INCOMPETENT UMPIRE TO BEAT VENUS WILLIAMS. Tennis on ESPN. It's great.

The purple Jazz uniforms with the white mountains on them were cool. They made perfect sense...you had the Western-style letters and numbers with images that represented Utah better than the New Orleans holdovers. And purple, sky blue, moss-green, and copper > shades of blue. The only real change I would've made would be to write out "Utah" in the same style that "Jazz" is written for the road jersey.

The "general I" is "one" in the English language. And I always knew the Beastie Boys had some infectiousbeats, but this is ridiculous! (dodges tomatoes)

It's not a quote per se, but Eleanor goes up to Franklin who is sitting in his study reading the Greater New York Yellow Pages. it's just a priceless sight gag.

Larry: Hi Wanda. Wanda: Oh I'm surprised you recognized me. I thought I'd have to turn around and show you my big ass. Cheryl: He said he likes big asses. Larry: I did not say I like big asses! I'm going upstairs I have to change. Wanda: Yeah, and what's that shit all over you? Were you scroungin' around, lookin' for ass? Climbin' under the bleachers, "ooh I gots to get me some ass!"

Duke: Now shut up and dance. Jay: You can't make me. Duke: Oh yes I can, it's in your contract. Jay: I believe it says I am required to prance. ::reads contract:: Duke: You win this round, Sherman. ::Jay, Duke, and Marty are playing Scrabble.:: Duke: Qwzybuk. Jay: That's not a word. Duke: We'll just see about that. Get me Webster on the phone. Noah, how you doin'? It's Duke. How about you make qwzybuk a word. I don't know what it means! How about "a big problem"? Great. What about that other word I asked for, Dukelicious? What do you mean nobody's using it? What a Duketastrophe. ::Later in the episode, Jay is trying to cure Duke's illness.:: Doctor: I'm sorry, Mr. Sherman, but we're in a real qwzybuk. We're all out of rats. ::Jay daydreams about winning an Oscar.:: Jay: ...and as I accept this award, there is one issue I cannot remain silent on any longer. Independence for Quebec! ::Cut to a group of Quebecois drinking beer with the Quebec flag above the TV:: Man: Vive le Jay Sherman! Vive la Quebec! ::Two more men enter the room:: Vive le Jay Sherman! Vive la Quebec! ::A goaltender riding a moose enters and unfurls a flag with Jay's head on a beaver:: Vive le Jay Sherman! Vive la Quebec! Jeremy: In Crocodile Gandhi 2, they let me do my Kirk Douglas impression. ::Jeremy in towel and glasses with a nasal-y contrived voice, holding a machine gun:: The fast...is OVER! Now I'm gonna fill your bellies...with LEAD! YEehhHHA! Gary Grossman: I mean, we're not making "I, Claudius" here. Well, actually we are, but we're calling it "Claudia Shiffer's Toga Party." Margo: Jay, of everything in life, I love you and my horse the most. I wish there was a way to combine you two. ::Margo rides a horse with Jay's head majestically through a field. They get to a fence.:: Jay: ...I think we'll just go around it. Jay: Your cereal turned my urine pink! Humphrey The Hippo: But you'd have to eat six bowls in one day for that to happen! Jay: Yeah I know, with chocolate milk. Come on Marty, we're leaving. Jay: Why is everyone so mad? Woman: She killed off the Fat Little Pig. Jay: Good bye Porky, You made me feel so dorky, They killed you in New York-y, I hope you rot in hellllllllllll! How did he die, anyway? Woman: He had a heart attack while singing and doing a stupid dance. Eleanor: Teddy, I thought I asked you to leave! And put your pants on! Ted Kennedy: I, ah, did not come here wearing pants, and, ah, I do not intend to leave wearing pants. Duke: What do you think of my Hall Of Presidents? Jay: That's not Bill Clinton, you just used one of your leftover Hillbilly Bears. Duke: Yeah, but so far nobody's been able to tell the difference.

Why did the Jazz trade in their cool uniforms for crap?

I thought that was Biggio. Anyway... crap crap crap crap crap crap crap. This better blow up in Houston's faces bad. We could've used him in center field....Patterson isn't doin it for me

Bertuzzi's little attack should've just been ten minutes, not five years.

Wanting to win. It's what separates the winners from everyone else.

This is freaking insane. There's no way they can turn Maple Leaf Gardens into a freaking supermarket. Isn't there anything the team can do? Make a museum or something to complement the HoF? I'm not a Leafs fan. At all. They've got Ed Belfour, they can be in Canada and have a payroll, and they beat the Blackhawks in the last game of Chicago Stadium. But MLG is a cool building and hockey shouldn't see it go.

NOOOOOOOOO The Commish could mute Stephen A Smith! "NO, NO, NO, STERN, YOU AND YOUR PEOPLE HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG! Just look at this blackboard!" "That's a whiteboard." "Shut up!"

Jazz uniforms/logo = teh shit. Not being the Supersonics anymore = teh shit

And the freaking Clippers get the guy from downstate and not the Bulls. This better work out.

I've stopped trying to understand the Bulls. Hey Steviekick, did the Jazz change their logo?

What if the Paul Clones were really Eagan? Accusing himself of being himself? The plot thickens.

Don Nelson is the coolest coach ever.

The Bulls, they drive me mad. And I cannot stress enough how bvad of an idea Shaq in Dallas is. PG: Steve Nash SG: Nick Van Exel SF: Marquis Daniels PF: Antawn Jamison C: Dirk Nowitzki

Well CWM is the expert of the board, but he's the SUPER-EXPERT of all things Prince Paul. "Paul was a good guy, you guys just didn't understand." "I don't think Paul ever should've been banned." Have we ruled out the possibility of multiple people being Prince Pauls?

What was The New Me's username before it was that? No not Prince Paul, something else. And I still don't believe he was the same guy.