Kinetic

Shit, Tiger could more than bench press me. He could do whatever he wanted.

But, I mean, he's a really good looking guy. And he's ripped. I need a Wet-Nap. Excuse me.

Hey, Valdosta. There's the asshole of the earth. Oh, and RIP. Carpe diem, kids.

So, hey, anyone else here think Tiger Woods is really sexy?

Soulja Boy introduced me to Bathing Apes, which has been a bit of a godsend. I lost my passion for cleanliness for awhile there.

Ooooh.

I think being a pro wrestler has a lot more in common with being a touring popular musician than it does being a legit pro athlete. But, I mean, everyone's on drugs. I take drugs. Sure, they're for my IBS, but a couple of those and I'm feeling pretty good.

Two and a Half Men has more than validated that opinion.

Agreed, but this whole Vegas hotel room thing was the final straw for me. The Naked Gun movies must go!

That actually sounds like a pretty good gimmick. Run with it.

There you go. The Elder Cena. John Cena's Big Daddy. Cena Classic.

But, I mean...couldn't you just call him John Cena, Sr.? Or Jim Cena? It's not like anyone's going to know the difference. It just took away from the believability of an otherwise absolutely airtight and intense main event to have the guy announced as Mr. Cena.

I think I was sold short there. My classic threads were like the SUPER BOWL of classic threads. Doesn't anyone remember "Should I Be Concerned About Blood In My Shit?" or "The Arab World Will Pay For 9/11" or "Rate My Balls"? This is some serious shit.

I just recently got cable and tuned into RAW last night for the first time in more than a year. Why doesn't John Cena's dad have a first name? Mr. Cena just smacks of laziness. 51. Crush's passing doesn't receive nearly the attention that Chris Benoit's did. Doesn't anyone remember his feud with "Macho Man" Randy Savage? That's what got me into this business in the first place.

And yet he gets cut before the regular season in favor of David Garrard. I understand that there's some sort of rift between him and Del Rio, but wouldn't a coach hanging onto his job for dear life want to hold onto a legit first-round talent who's as healthy as he's been in his pro career? So we must conclude that either: a) Del Rio made a terrible decision based on personal preference, rather than actual ability, or; b) Leftwich wasn't worth keeping around.

I have always contended that THE WHO were probably the most overrated British Invasion band, and have even gone so far as to call them the most overrated major band in rock history. That said, I recently bought a two-record set featuring The Who Sell Out and A Quick One and really like both albums. What can I say? My track record of poor judgement continues unabated.

The issue here is not that McNabb is a black quarterback, but rather that he's a successful quarterback who absolutely folds under the pressure of the big game. McNabb needs to get over this shit. He's a quarterback, which is the most scrutinized position in American sports. He plays in Philadelphia, which has the most ruthless and unforgiving fans in the country. His team has consistently been on the verge of winning championships, but has come up short every time. I'm hard-pressed to think of one decisive game in any of those seasons where McNabb has played especially well and the rest of the team hasn't.

Was this ESPN subliminally getting us pumped up for the many nationally-televised Denver Broncos games to come this season?

Leftwich has been injury prone, was unseated by a not-very-good QB in David Garrard, has been unable to get his former team over the hump despite a solid running game and a very good defense, and was eventually released by said team for those reasons. That spells semi-bust to me. Joey Harrington is an out-and-out bust, no qualifiers necessary. He'll be out of Atlanta after this season and I'd be surprised if anyone else signs him.

Credit: profootballtalk.com Another first round semi-bust for Atlanta's high-powered post-Mike Vick offense.

Diamond Dogs is, I think, better than Aladdin Sane. There's a really terrible disco freakout version of "John, I'm Only Dancing" on some of the Young Americans re-issues.

Your track record of terrible opinions continues unabated.

"Let's Spend the Night Together" is probably the worst of Bowie's cover songs, particularly in terms of how good the original is versus how mediocre his version is. "I Can't Explain" from Pinups would be a close second.

This is so stupid that I had to respond to it. The original version of "Across the Universe" is the only good version I've heard. Bowie had/has a really bad habit of including covers in his albums that are almost invariably the weakest thing on the record.

I'm pretty sure that the coin toss was originally scheduled for the day before the draft. I guess officials from the two teams met at the combine and someone happened to have a coin handy. Whatever. My concern here is that Cleveland either up and drafts Calvin Johnson themselves or that they trade the 3rd pick to someone that wants to draft him. I don't think there's a chance that they draft Brady Quinn, they might not need Adrian Peterson anymore, and Detroit probably takes...uh...the fat white OL from Wisconsin. Joe. Fat white Joe from Wisconsin. I'm just concerned, that's all.