kkktookmybabyaway

Deadline has come and gone. Gert T will be using EPs.

10 a.m. • You know, I think they should make this USC/OSU game an annual event; 35-3 -- lol.

For those that don't know, Baltimore at Houston got postponed. Because of this, that game is taken off the books, which means Bored's and KingPK's picks don't count. There's also something going on with Teke's Bengals. I guess this is a good time to tell the n00bs that if your team has a bye week, or your team's stadium gets damaged by Mother Nature, then you don't submit picks for the week. I'm removing the BAL/HOU picks from everyone's match-up selections. Also, I guess this would be the time to mention that if TSM should ever go down and not allow people to make their picks then I would use EPs.

You didn't. Nevermind my PM.

7 p.m. • So this week I finally said goodbye to an old friend from my college days. And good fucking riddance. For those that experienced the ol’ university system, or for those that are currently going through this ordeal, you undoubtedly had a buddy or two that would freeload off of you and your other pals. Well I finally said “No, Mooch” to my very own version. Every month or so this bastard would pop up and ask for some money. Sure giving him some cash every now and then didn’t break my budget, but Jesus Christ – get a job! Who was this friend? My school loan. After paying off the better half’s credit card debt we spent the next year or so building up a decent rainy day fund. The next step was to put away enough money to pay off the car and my school loan. At the time there were about six payments left on the car, and by the time the final payment would be made there would also be enough cash saved up to pay off the school loan. Of course, the car was ONE PAYMENT away from being paid off when all hell broke loose (another entry for another time), so a car payment is back on the slate. However, I was hell-bent on getting rid of this goddamn school loan by the end of this year. I guess it makes matters worse considering I loathe my alma mater. I went to a community college for two years post-high school while I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. After two years I took my credits and transferred to a local school that I thought would provide a good education. Boy was I wrong. After about a year I realized what a terrible decision I made. Now was time to make a choice: Stick it out for another year-and-a-half or transfer to some other cesspool and spend even more money getting a piece of paper that’s tucked away somewhere in my house, either in a storage closet or the fruit cellar. (Yeah, I keep a bunch of queers in my basement.) Once I graduated it was time to make those monthly payments. I never paid them any mind; I simply made the monthly payment. After I while when my degree was proving worthless in my search for gainful employment I began to get pissed at having to pay $109.47 each month to a place that I loathed to attend. Not any more. Thanks to a one-time $5,100 payment. Now I won’t have to see that monthly bill any more, reminding me of those two-and-a-half years of shit I went through. Boo-hoo. (Those nights leaving the Quickie-Mart at 2 a.m. only to get on a bus five hours later to attend an 8 a.m. class were especially fun.) But now the only reminders I have of that shit hole of an institution are when they send me alumni updates asking me for more money. I’m still waiting for the day when some poor student calls me during an alumni donation drive.

8:30 p.m. • Here's something really sad to learn about me. When I first heard this song, I thought for quite some time that Compton was in Michigan. (0:25) Actually, that's not the half of it. I almost failed 8th grade. In order to pass that year I had to take two summer school classes at my school plus a mail-order class. But hey, at least I was able to beat Ghouls 'n Ghosts on the Sega Genesis that year. • As much as I'm trying to keep this from being All-Palidin All-The-Time, this is getting silly. • There is justice in this world. Long story short: The much-talked-about welfare brood with the two test-tube kids was trying to add a third beaker into the bunch. Sadly, the turkey basting didn't take and now the matriarch of this bunch called the better half last night for some solace. This is funny to me, considering when Mrs. kkk suffered a miscarriage, this welfare queen said, among other things, "Well you can have one of mine; they're driving me CrAzY~!" But the "justice" isn't with a family that can't take care of themselves failing at adding another mouth to feed. The justice is that during this conversation Mrs. kkk learned that the State is no longer paying for their kids' health care? Why is that? Because the toothless Mexican can get health insurance through his job as a janitor. OH NOES! Having to take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY!

It was one word.

MikeS... Err, nevermind.

Here we go. For the n00bs, remember to include the predicted score of how many points you think the team you represent will score this week. This is for tie-breaker reasons. Also, these games include point spreads. Also, you may either submit your picks in this thread or PM them to me. I don't care what you do, but remember this: If you post them in public, your opponent has the opportunity to base his picks off yours. Is this cheating? Possibly. Is this lame? Yes. Do I care? No. That's why you have the option to PM picks to me, and once I receive them I will PM you back. Here is where I get my spreads from. Don't forget the Thursday night game. Washington at N.Y. Giants (3.5) (3.5) Detroit at Atlanta (1.5) Cincinnati at Baltimore (1.5) Seattle at Buffalo (3.5) N.Y. Jets at Miami Kansas City at New England (16.5) Tampa Bay at New Orleans (3.5) St. Louis at Philadelphia (7.5) Houston at Pittsburgh (6.5) (3.5) Jacksonville at Tennessee (4.5) Dallas at Cleveland Carolina at San Diego (9.5) (2.5) Arizona at San Francisco Chicago at Indianapolis (9.5) Minnesota at Green Bay (2.5) (3.5) Denver at Oakland Week 1 (Results do not include MNF games) Washington Redskins (Human Fly 0-1) d by N.Y. Giants (Cartman 1-0) 6-7 WAS: NYG/DET/CIN/SEA/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/HOU/JAX/DAL/SD/AZ/IND/MIN/OAK/20 NYG: WAS/DET/CIN/BUF/MIA/KC/NO/PHI/PIT/TEN/DAL/SD/SF/IND/MIN/OAK/20 DIFF: NYG/WAS, SEA/BUF, NYJ/MIA, NE/KC, HOU/PIT, JAX/TEN, AZ/SF Detroit Lions (Chazz 0-1) d by Atlanta Falcons (USC# 1-0) 7-10 DET: WAS/DET/CIN/SEA/MIA/KC/TB/STL/PIT/JAX/DAL/CAR/AZ/CHI/MIN/DEN/24 ATL: NYG/ATL/CIN/SEA/NYJ/NE/TB/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/CAR/AZ/CHI/GB/OAK/20 DIFF: WAS/NYG, DET/ATL, MIA/NYJ, KC/NE, STL/PHI, MIN/GB, DEN/OAK Cincinnati Bengals (Teke 0-1) d by Baltimore Ravens (KingPK 1-0) 9-10 CIN: NYG/DET/BAL/BUF/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/HOU/JAX/DAL/SDG/AZ/IND/MIN/DEN/17 BAL: WAS/ATL/BAL/BUF/NYJ/NE/TB/PHI/PIT/TEN/DAL/SDG/AZ/IND/GB/OAK/18 DIFF: NYG/WAS, DET/ATL, NO/TB, HOU/PIT, JAX/TEN, MIN/GB, DEN/OAK Seattle Seahawks (UZI Suicide 1-0) d Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron 0-1) 9-9 via TB UZI 24(-10)=14; Buffalo 17(-34)=17 SEA: XX/DET/CIN/BUF/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/CAR/AZ/IND/GB/OAK/24 BUF: NYG/DET/BAL/SEA/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/PIT/TEN/DAL/SD/SF/IND/MIN/DEN/17 DIFF: XX/NYG, CIN/BAL, BUF/SEA, JAX/TEN, CAR/SD, AZ/SF, GB/MIN/OAK/DEN, 24/17 N.Y. Jets (Gert T 1-0) d Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff 0-1) 11-8 NYJ: NYG/DET/CIN/BUF/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/CAR/AZ/IND/GB/DEN/20 MIA: NYG/ATL/CIN/SEA/MIA/NE/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/SD/SF/IND/GB/DEN/26 DIFF: DET/ATL, BUF/SEA, NYJ/MIA, CAR/SD, AZ/SF Kansas City Chiefs (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 0-1) d by New England Patriots (Harley Quinn 1-0) 8-11 KC: NYG/DET/CIN/BUF/MIA/KC/TB/PHI/HOU/JAX/DAL/CAR/AZ/IND/GB/OAK/10 NE: WAS/ATL/CIN/BUF/NYJ/NE/TB/PHI/PIT/TEN/DAL/CAR/AZ/CHI/MIN/DEN/38 DIFF: NYG/WAS, DET/ATL, MIA/NYJ, KC/NE, HOU/PIT, JAX/TEN, IND/CHI, GB/MIN, OAK/DEN Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Agent Bond34 1-0) d New Orleans Saints (Brooklyn Zoo 0-1) 9-7 TB: NYG/DET/BAL/SEA/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/SD/SF/IND/GB/DEN/21 NO: XXX/DET/CIN/BUF/NYJ/NE/NO/STL/PIT/JAX/DAL/CAR/SF/IND/GB/OAK/27 DIFF: NYG/XX, BAL/CIN, SEA/BUF, PHI/STL, SD/CAR, DEN/OAK, 21/27 St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist 0-1) d by Philadelphia Eagles (Starvenger 1-0) 7-8 STL: WAS/DET/BAL/SEA/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/HOU/JAX/CLE/SD/AZ/CHI/GB/OAK/18 PHI: NYG/DET/CIN/SEA/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/HOU/JAX/DAL/SD/AZ/IND/GB/DEN/20 DIFF: WAS/NYG, BAL/CIN, CLE/DAL, CHI/IND, OAK/DEN Houston Texans (Bored 0-1) d by Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus 1-0) 8-9 HOU: WAS/DET/CIN/BUF/MIA/NE/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/SD/AZ/IND/GB/DEN/17 PIT: WAS/DET/CIN/BUF/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/SD/AZ/IND/GB/DEN/31 DIFF: MIA/NYJ Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off 0-1) d by Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx 1-0) 10-11 JAX: NYG/DET/CIN/SEA/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/CAR/AZ/IND/GB/DEN/24 TEN: NYG/DET/BAL/BUF/NYJ/NE/NO/STL/PIT/TEN/DAL/SD/AZ/IND/GB/DEN/17 DIFF: CIN/BAL, SEA/BUF, PHI/STL, JAX/TEN, CAR/SD Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34 1-0) d Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack 0-1) 11-9 DAL: NYG/DET/CIN/BUF/NYJ/KC/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/CAR/SF/IND/GB/DEN/41 CLE: WAS/DET/BAL/SEA/NYJ/NE/NO/STL/HOU/JAX/DAL/CAR/AZ/CHI/GB/DEN/20 DIFF: NYG/WAS, CIN/BAL, BUF/SEA, KC/NE, PHI/STL, PIT/HOU, SF/AZ, IND/CHI, 41/20 Carolina Panthers (Fazzle 1-0) d San Diego Chargers (909 0-1) 8-8 via TB Fazzle 16(-26)=10; 909 8(-28)=20 CAR: NYG/DET/CIN/BUF/NYJ/NE/NO/STL/PIT/JAX/DAL/SD/AZ/IND/MIN/DEN/16 SD: NYG/DET/BAL/SEA/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/SD/AZ/IND/MIN/OAK/28 DIFF: CIN/BAL, BUF/SEA, STL/PHI, DEN/OAK, 16/28 Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne 0-1) at San Francisco 49ers (Devo 1-0) 6-8 AZ: NYG/DET/CIN/BUF/NYJ/KC/NO/STL/HOU/JAX/DAL/SD/SF/IND/MIN/OAK/26 SF: NYG/DET/BAL/SEA/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/HOU/JAX/DAL/SD/SF/IND/GB/DEN/17 DIFF: CIN/BAL, BUF/SEA, KC/NE, STL/PHI, MIN/GB, OAK/DEN, 26/17 Chicago Bears (Tzar Lysergic 1-0) d Indianapolis Colts (Alfdogg 0-1) 10-9 CHI: NYG/DET/CIN/SEA/NYJ/KC/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/CLE/CAR/AZ/CHI/MIN/DEN/17 IND: NYG/DET/CIN/SEA/NYJ/NE/TB/PHI/PIT/TEN/DAL/CAR/AZ/IND/MIN/DEN/27 DIFF: KC/NE, NO/TB, JAX/TEN, CLE/DAL, CHI/IND Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling 1-0) d Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X 0-1) 8-6 MIN: WAS/DET/CIN/SEA/NYJ/KC/NO/PHI/PIT/JAX/DAL/CAR/AZ/IND/MIN/OAK/24 GB: WAS/DET/BAL/BUF/MIA/KC/TB/STL/PIT/JAX/CLE/SD/SF/IND/GB/DEN/27 DIFF: CIN/BAL, SEA/BUF, NYJ/MIA, NO/TB, PHI/STL, DAL/CLE, CAR/SD, AZ/SF, MIN/GB, OAK/DEN, 24/27 Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris 1-0) d Oakland Raiders (Smues 0-1) 9-4 DEN: NYG/DET/CIN/BUF/NYJ/NE/NO/PHI/HOU/JAX/DAL/SD/AZ/CHI/MIN/DEN/22 OAK: WAS/DET/BAL/SEA/NYJ/NE/TB/STL/PIT/JAX/DAL/SD/SF/IND/MIN/OAK/22 DIFF: NYG/WAS, CIN/BAL, BUF/SEA, NO/TB, PHI/STL, HOU/PIT, AZ/SF, CHI/IND, DEN/OAK ******************************************************************************** AFC EAST New England Patriots (Harley Quinn) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > New York Jets (Gert T) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > AFC NORTH Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > AFC SOUTH Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > Houston Texans (Bored) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > Indianapolis Colts (Alfdogg) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > AFC WEST San Diego Chargers (909) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 0-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Kansas City Chiefs (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 0-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 0-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > NFC EAST Philadelphia Eagles (Starvenger) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > New York Giants (Cartman) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > NFC NORTH Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > Detroit Lions (Chazz) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > NFC SOUTH Atlanta Falcons (USC) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Agent Bond) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC WEST Seattle Seahawks (UZI Suicide) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > San Francisco 49ers (devo) 1-0 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 0-1 < PF: , PA: , AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 >

AFC EAST New York Jets (Gert T) 1-0 < PF: 11, PA: 8, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > New England Patriots (Harley Quinn) 1-0 < PF: 11, PA: 8, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 0-1 < PF: 9, PA: 9, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 0-1 < PF: 8, PA: 11, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > AFC NORTH Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 1-0 < PF: 10, PA: 9, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 1-0 < PF: 9, PA: 8, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 0-1 < PF: 9, PA: 11, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 0-1 < PF: 9, PA: 10, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > AFC SOUTH Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 1-0 < PF: 11, PA: 10, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 0-1 < PF: 10, PA: 11, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > Indianapolis Colts (Alfdogg) 0-1 < PF: 9, PA: 10, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Houston Texans (Bored) 0-1 < PF: 8, PA: 9, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > AFC WEST Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 1-0 < PF: 9, PA: 4, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > Kansas City Chiefs (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 0-1 < PF: 8, PA: 11, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > San Diego Chargers (909) 0-1 < PF: 8, PA: 8, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 0-1 < PF: 4, PA: 9, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > NFC EAST Dallas Cowboys (Hawk) 1-0 < PF: 11, PA: 9, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Philadelphia Eagles (Starvenger) 1-0 < PF: 8, PA: 7, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > New York Giants (Cartman) 1-0 < PF: 7, PA: 6, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 0-1 < PF: 6, PA: 7, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC NORTH Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 1-0 < PF: 10, PA: 9, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 1-0 < PF: 8, PA: 6, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > Detroit Lions (Chazz) 0-1 < PF: 7, PA: 10, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 0-1 < PF: 6, PA: 8, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC SOUTH Atlanta Falcons (USC) 1-0 < PF: 10, PA: 7, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Agent Bond) 1-0 < PF: 9, PA: 7, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 1-0 < PF: 8, PA: 8, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 0-1 < PF: 7, PA: 9, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC WEST Seattle Seahawks (UZI Suicide) 1-0 < PF: 9, PA: 9, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > San Francisco 49ers (devo) 1-0 < PF: 8, PA: 6, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-0 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 0-1 < PF: 7, PA: 8, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 0-1 < PF: 6, PA: 8, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 >

8 p.m. • Yeah, who needs preseason. All the good players will just get hurt anyway. (Just heard on NBC's recap show this injury is serious.) • You know what I hate most about this commercial? These people go to some yuppie place for dinner and they eat MACARONI AND CHEESE? I bet the bacon is what makes this dish decadent! If I had to dress up for some tasting, it better be for some form of surf 'n turf.

8:30 a.m. • Public service announcement. If you posted at the Other Place and wondered why you can't access the site, wonder no more. It died (again). For those keeping score at home, Frigid Soul had nothing to do with this one. Here's the new address. 9 a.m. • Fuck blaming the cats for this fire. You don't light candles and leave in a house with pets. The closest the kkk household has come to this sort of thing was when Dessa, as a kitten, knocked over a glass of water the better half had on the night stand. When she went to get the glass she got shocked by a power outlet. Then there was the time that Dessa, still a kitten, knocked out my plugged-in clock radio the night before my first day of work at a job. That's when I learned to invest in a battery-powered clock. Of course, years later I was late for work one day when the battery died. That's when we started regulating the kids' feedings. Now no matter what if Dessa, JJ and Max aren't fed by 5:30 a.m. one of us will be woken up. If getting into Mrs. kkk's face loudly meowing doesn't do the trick then the better half hitting me and saying, "go feed your cats" will.

7 p.m. • So did you all know that the GOP Vice President candidate has a 17-year-old kid who is knocked up? In another startling development, John Kerry served in Vietnam. You know what, I don’t care if this chick is a Jesus freak. I’ve heard some of the stuff she’s said regarding God and all that shit, but you know what? I don’t care. I learned years ago that many of the people I vote for are in with the Bible-thumper crowd. But you know what? I don’t care. I’ve accepted that fact. Shit, Rick Santorum was my n*gga but I know if we ever had a conversation about theology for more than 5 minutes Rick would either damn my soul to hell or start a group prayer for my well-being. Smues, I’m sure you can tell a bunch of stories about Palin regarding stuff I don’t want to hear, but when you’ve had this asshole as your governor for six years… …even the Community Organizer will start to look appealing. Wait, check that. I can’t let that go. Fuck, I’d rather have Fast Eddie as my political figure than Osama. Now that’s saying something. 8 p.m. • So what's our exit strategy for pulling out of Chicago? Oh, yeah. The exit strategy for urban flight is getting a job and then a UHaul.

7 p.m. • Can you believe what the head of the print division of Medium-Large Media said about McCain's VP selection of Palin? Wait a second, the Slimes Editorial Board was talking about Geraldine Ferraro -- a three-term congresswoman at the time of her VP nod. Nevermind.

Deadline for the Thursday game has come and gone. For those that haven't sent in picks, I do not use EPs for non-Sunday games, so if your opponent gets this game right they will be up 1 on you. Also, if you opponent PMs me his picks and both of yours and his picks are posted you cannot change any selections.

How’s that?

All PM'd picks will be posted Thursday afternoon before tonight's kickoff.

I haven't seen the last few seasons, but I will at some point. Will this be the "final" season, or will it be "split up" into two parts, if you know what I mean.

My man.

10 p.m. • So this is the last week of the better half’s employment and her idiot boss gave her a $30 gift card to Panera Bread. Oh yay. For those that don’t know, Panera is one of those hippie stores that sell overpriced food that doesn’t even come close to filling you up. Because we were going grocery shopping today, we decided to just buy a bunch of shit and get this $30 gift card out of our lives forever. Now I’ve never been in a Panera store before, but it was no different than the few other times I went into these kind of eateries. Mrs. kkk got a sandwich, cookie and frozen coffee. I got a sandwich, soup and frozen smoothie. Not quite $30 but it was close. However, this is what blew my mind. We got one of those coaster-things that flash when your order is ready. That’s odd, but whatever. As we sat at our booth we heard “kkk, your order is ready.” Well what’s the point of having the coster-thingy if they’re just going to call out our name anyway? I digress. I also went to the stand that called out our order. I noticed that we only had our soup and sandwiches. Figure out what I said and what the Panera employee said: “Where’s the rest of our order?” “You have to get the drinks over at that register.” *Points leftward.* OK, so I went and took the food to our booth and went to pick up the drinks. I then noticed Mrs. kkk’s cookie was nowhere to be found. Figure out what I said and what another Panera employee said: “Where’s the cookie to this order?” “You have to get cookies over at that register.” *Points leftward.* You’re being serious? I had to go to three registers to complete my order. Thank Christ this store was near empty. Damn hippie store. Oh well, at least they didn’t put grass on my food like the Atlanta Bread Company. • Good thing Osama isn’t Jewish; God knows what Jimmy would be calling him. His stuttering was the best part.

EFA Wow, we really the economy going in that part of Ohio, didn't we?

Bored’s college football contest is posted, which only means it’s time for me to start up kkk Bowl VI. Click here for more information about what we do and stuff. Once again, it’s time for those who took part in last year’s contest to re-claim their teams. I have emergency picks saved from last year. If you want to change your EPs let me know via PM. There is one poster who needs to re-submit Emergency Picks. HarleyQuinn. Your EP list was season-specific. Below is a list of posters with the teams they represent. Let me know in this thread if you intend on taking part in this year’s contest and I will bold your name/team. If you are not part of this contest but want to be, there will be a chance for you to take any unclaimed teams. Just post your interest in this thread. Unlike previous years this will not be a “first come first serve.” Anyone who wants in and doesn’t have a team will get a chance to claim an available franchise by taking part in a Week 3 preseason pick 'em contest, but that’s not for another few weeks. First things first. Vets, claim your teams by noon on August 14. AFC EAST Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) New England Patriots (Harley Quinn) Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) New York Jets (Gert T) AFC NORTH Baltimore Ravens (King PK) Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) AFC SOUTH Houston Texans (Bored) Indianapolis Colts (Alfdogg) Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) AFC WEST Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) Kansas City Chiefs (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) Oakland Raiders (Smues) San Diego Chargers (909) NFC EAST Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) New York Giants (Cartman) Philadelphia Eagles (Starvenger) Washington Redskins (Human Fly) NFC NORTH Chicago Bears (Tzar Lysergic) Detroit Lions (Chazz) Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) NFC SOUTH Atlanta Falcons (USC#) Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) New Orleans Saints (Brooklyn Zoo) Tampa Bay Buccaneers Agent Bond34 NFC WEST Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) San Francisco 49ers (Devo) Seattle Seahawks UZI Suicide St. Louis Rams (CanadianGuitarist) Posters for the Week 3 Preseason Play-in BX MFerXtreme87 The Ghost of Harold Ballard AgentBond34 JHawk UZI Suicide Obi Chris Kenobi Chriswok Mr. Rant -- for his usual 4-5 weeks before dropping out.

Agent will be the Bucs. Uzi will be the Seahawks. Steve Rogers informed me earlier that he wasn't able to commit this season (I missed his PM until after the deadline), but just told me he would be able to participate. Because he told me this after the deadline his team was up for grabs. However, I have always given first dibs to vet participants who tell me to give up their team to someone else and want to return later. (Think of this as an incentive not to just stop making picks in mid-season.) Because of this, he will get first dibs on any team this season, followed by the person who made the next best set of picks this preaseason, etc. The Week 1 thread will be posted sometime this weekend/early next week, depending on when spreads will be available.

6 p.m. • Wow, Fast Eddie talking about media bias? That's funny. Don't worry, after Osama does his thing this week you'll be back on the "what media bias?" bandwagon. • I'm sure there's a blogger WHOSE NAME WILL NOT BE UTTERED UNTIL THE END OF TIME that probably already scouted this kid inside and out. "Frighteneing"? Oh well, I'm the last person to goof on another person's speling, but damnit someone got paid not to run a spell-check. I'm doing this blog for free. Not sure how relevant this is to the above story, but as a kid I was in this bowling league. We didn’t use regular balls but rather this was a duckpin bowling league. What does that mean? The balls were smaller and there is no pinacton. Anyway, there was this kid was excellent but I hated the fuck. His dad was one of the bigwigs of the league, but his kid’s team never won a league championship in the several years I was there. This kid was so good he was always a team’s captain; each team had a really good bowler, a pretty good bowler and a few scrubs (like me). Well, this one year this kid was magically placed on a team with two other boys that had been team captains in previous years. Strangely enough, after a month or two this team amassed something like a 14-1 record. Here’s a coincidence: this kid’s dad put the teams together. What did I do about it? I took my ball and went home. Do I regret it? Shit, I forgot about this experience until reading the above article. • Huh? Too fat? Oh this should be a good one. Then fry him. Of course, then the poor cops zapping this porker will be smelling bacon... Oh Christ, the I-was-abused excuse. Sadly, below is the part of the article that pisses me off the most. Oh boo-fucking-hoo. Wow. That must have been one strong homemade ladder to hold that fattie up. Guess those magazines were phonebooks or something.

8:30 p.m. • I wonder if the McCain spokespeople pictured doing this six months ago? God I love my county. • Wow. And I thought veggies were green enough. Oh well, I guess it's better than eating food that a Mexican shit on out in the field.