kkktookmybabyaway

Been bringing the content for 4+ years.

I know, but he should still be in there. If you add up his two news updates and the rest of the story, you'd probably get near a half-hour.

I knew you'd come through in the clutch. Good job.

I'm liking this fanofcoils. Keep up the good work. I wonder if he watched a movie like "Pulp Fiction" or "Memento" if he'd get bored by beginning of the film in regards to what scene the movie starts with or get bored by the beginning of the film in regards to the plot's chronological start? EDIT: Oh, I haven't seen The Hills Have Eyes -- it'll be a DVD'er.

And down the final stretch I come. For those that don't know I'm commenting on people I know from this hippie list. If you want to read parts I-III then go to 3/11, 3/10, and 3/8. I saw number 51 Doug McIntyre on Dennis Miller's short-lived CNBC show, and I liked him whenever he was on that Varsity panel. 52-53: Never heard of 'em. Never listened to number 54's Mitch Album's radio show, but I see/hear him from time-to-time. That's enough for me. 55-60: Now I'm cruising – most of the rest of this list will probably be local people that aren't local in my market. The only exposure I have received from the occupiers of the 61 spot (Bob & Tom) is from their television commercials. That is enough for me. I don't hate Thom Hartmann, who is at 62, because he's a commie. I hate him because he was one of the people that were part of the "new" WPTT, which as a result bumped Boortz. Bastards. I listened to him once for about 5 minutes, laughed and switched back to Rush. 63-76: It says Tom Sullivan fills in for Rush, but with the exception of Walter Williams, I change the channel when there are fill-in hosts. Now we're getting somewhere. Number 77 Fred Honsberger is a guy I have listened to on KDKA since 1994. When I was away from Shittsburgh from '99-'03, one of the few things I missed from that place was his radio show. "Honzman" is a perfect example of how local radio can compete with the evil CLEAR CHANNELS of the world. It's simple. Have an entertaining show. Fred's program goes up against Hannity in my market, and if Honsberger is taking calls from stupid union workers who loathe the Wal-Marts of the world, there is nothing more entertaining for my ears. Ever since WPGB started up, Fred's show has become a bit more "newsy," which means a lot more boring interviews. When this happens, I usually turn on Mark Madden's local sports show (Yes, that Mark Madden) or, if I'm feeling lucky, turn on Hannity and pray he's worth listening to for the next 20 minutes or so. The second Shittsburgher on this list is number 78, Jim Quinn (with part-time sidekick Rose). I remember listening to this guy as a kid when he was a Top 40 DJ on some pop radio station called B-94 with a guy named Banana Don. Then Quinn got canned over some sexual harassment lawsuit by this chick that used to read the news. He then got on the RIGHT-WING RADIO bandwagon in the early '90s, when the market wasn't as saturated. Since then he has carved out a nice little niche for himself in the morning, and when he moved to WPGB after being on another station for a decade, he got a few more stations to broadcast his morning show from in Pennsylvania, Ohio and West Virginia. The show itself isn't that great because most of what he does is read articles that other people wrote, but what else am I going to listen to early in the morning? Besides, he has this sound clip that he treats like Rush's old "caller abortions." It's the sound of someone ululating followed by an explosion; this sound clip was packaged as a key chain last year that was called the "Mobile Martyr," and yes, I bought one. The funny thing is this thing goes off whenever it wants, and there have been a few times I blew up a Palestinian youth when I didn’t mean to, much to the chagrin of some strangers around me. Oh, and Quinn's old partner, Banana Don? He got canned a few years ago when Howard Stern moved to 93.7 FM. 79: Steve who? Next. When I lived near Cincinnati, I didn't listen to number 80 Bill Cunningham, who was on WLW, a station I didn’t frequent (WKRC was my RIGHT-WING RADIO station of choice in Cincy), but I've heard him on Hannity's show as a guest, and I'd rather listen to Bill from 3-6 p.m. than Sean. 81-91: Dunno. Like Cunningham, number 92 Mike McConnell was on WLW I didn't listen to him while living in Cincinnati. However, he also has this syndicated weekend show, and whenever I'm doing errands in the car, I make sure to tune him in. Good stuff. 93-95: Let’s skip Chip and friends. The last person I know on this list is Bruce Williams (96), and I used to listen to him all the time while living in Sappy Valley. Basically, he's an old guy who gave all kinds of advice. My one former co-worker thought this would be an intellectual show, but in fact it was just the opposite. It was like Dr. Laura for people too cheap to get legitimate legal/financial assistance. There are two calls that I still remember after all these years. One dealt with a guy who wanted to buy a business from someone else (I think it was a pizza shop, but I’m not sure). He said that the seller claimed the business made a certain amount of money "on the books," which wasn't an impressive sum, but "off the books" it made a killing. He then asked Bruce if this was a good investment. Bruce responded with “So you’re going to take somebody’s word that his business, which is a failure on paper, makes money illegally?” Can’t remember what the caller said, but I don’t think he went with this investment opportunity. The other caller was some lady that got a $10,000 deposit in her bank account. She spent it all, and about a week later some bank from Canada told her the deposit was a mistake and that they wanted the money back. Bruce said to the lady, "Do you always spend money that's in your account which you didn't put there?" Her answer? "Yes." 97-100: The End. Now there were a bunch of names off this list that were mentioned, but I don't feel like talking about any of them. Although I have to note that Lynn Cullen, a local Shittsburgh personality, isn't on this list -- so, WPTT, you took off Boortz, who's ranked NUMBER NINE on this list for someone who isn’t even featured? Go to hell, you joke of a radio station. Hell yeah I'm still bitter about this. And also, why isn't Paul Harvey on this list?! The guy's more than 80 years old and is still pimping.

The most "interesting" crowds I've worked with were in for "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." One day my friend and he new girlfriend went to see "Spare Baggage" or whatever the hell that Alicia Silverstone movie was, and they (of course) were one of the only ones in the theater. The one usher I was working with made a comment to me that these two kids were seriously making out in that auditorium. I asked what they looked like. When he described them, I knew it was him, so I went in, shined a flashlight at them and cleared my throat. That ruined the mood in a hurry; either that or my laughter afterward. I'm a playa hater.

Never did it, although I've left places which didn't bring a waiter to my table after 10 minutes or so.

I'm on AIM with him now.

Even less than homos? Dang.

If I banged my 8th grade math teacher I'd need therapy. Then again, at least I wouldn't have had to worry about getting her preggers, considering the batteries to her biological clock had long run down.

Well, if your ex didn't vomit when having sex with you, I doubt eating a ham sandwich during Lent would.

Now if your bowling shoes smelled like peaches, I'd be concerned.

• So I was heading out from work today when I heard about a potential sniper in some building in downtown Shittsburgh, effectively paralyzing the city. Great. And I had to go downtown to pick up the better half from her job. I pulled into a gas station and filled up the tank, expecting to be in gridlock for some time while trying to get around the Fort Pitt tunnels, which had been shut off, according to news reports. Then when I got back in the car, I heard that all was resolved. Apparently, some guy had been shooting pigeons with a pellet gun. I can’t wait until this makes its way around the wires, if it hasn’t already. Instead of making some smart-ass remark, I’m going to defend the city/county police. According to local news reports, the police handled this situation well, so I’ll tip my cap to my favorite city to rag on. Actually, I’ll take it a step further and say that the newly elected mayor, Bob O’Connor, seems like a decent guy, and I hope he can turn the financial woes of Shittsburgh around. Sure he’s a Democrat, but when you’re dealing with urban areas, you pretty much have to take what you can get. Truth be told, not only am I hopeful that O’Connor will do a good job, but I also like the Democrat Allegheny County Executive Dan Onorato. Ever since he got elected a few years ago, he’s seemed like a stand up guy and hasn’t been afraid to appear on local talk shows and debate/discuss regional issues; he's even managed to piss off some of the local Democrat machine by trying to streamline county government, a promise he made on the campaign trail. If he would run for governor, I might consider switching my registration so I could vote for him in a primary against that asshole Ed Rendell. Onorato won’t make me want to buy a house in Allegheny County, but he’s a great start. • On the other side of police efficiency, the Florida Corrections Department put a former minor league baseball player on the payroll in a no-show job so that he could help prison guards win a softball tournament, according to investigators. If this were one of those guards/inmate contests, wouldn’t it have been easier to take away the prisoners’ weights for a month or so prior to the game? • A bus maintenance worker in Los Angeles is calling it quits at his job – at 100 years of age. According to the article, this guy worked at this place in 1924-1928, left and returned in 1934, and has been there ever since. The scary part? No, it’s not that he was a bus driver (he wasn’t); during all this time he has missed only one day of work. • Now this was … interesting. If the guy cut off his member and was still going strong, I’m surprised a Taser was able to slow him down. Goddamn. Apparently the reason he sliced off his johnson was because of trouble with his girlfriend. I don’t think things got any better after that, unless wanting to be a eunuch was his original intent. • I don’t know what to think of this chick that banged her 14-year old student. I guess what leaves a sour taste in my mouth is that if it was a male teacher who did this to a female student, we wouldn’t be hearing about how the guy has a bipolar disorder and wants to start a journalism career so “he can express himself in writing." This guy accused would be beating the feminazis back with a stick, and I wouldn’t blame these ravenous harpies for wanting his hide. The person I really feel for is this crazy chick’s husband; not only do we now know that he wasn't able to get the job done in the bedroom, but also that she preferred some kid who isn’t old enough to drive a car over him.

Only if they're Jewish cats, or are you content with roasting any breed of feline?

Don't make me shut down this entry.

Uh, and do all the stuff CC and TI said, too, if you want.

I hope you have enough property to let him run around and frolic.

I stay away from Excel, but how about maybe trying 7-2 or adding some extra space in-between the numbers?

Today we had to take Dessa to the vet. Having done this for about seven years now, the better half and I have devised an efficient way to round up whoever needs to go and get their shots. A while back I read somewhere that cats can understand a few words, and if this is indeed the case, “time to go to the vet” has to be one of those familiar phrases. Every time one of them has to go in the carrier, they all seem to have a sixth sense that something is up. Most of the time when we get home from work, the three of them get up from the spots where they spent the day sleeping and meet us at the front door, hoping we will go into their feeding room and give them some Meow Mix. However, today JJ was under the dining room table, Dessa was under the living room coffee table, and Max was behind some chairs under the kitchen island. And none of them wanted to move. While Mrs. kkk rounded up the unlucky kitty, I went downstairs to get the carrier, which is large enough to comfortably fit a medium-sized dog. After getting confirmation that the target has been picked up, I picked up this contraption. This is when the fur hits the fan. The two cats that aren’t tied up make a beeline for underneath a bed, either in the master bedroom on the first floor or upstairs in the spare bedroom. The cat that is picked up tries to get away, but to no avail (usually – JJ can sometimes wrestle away if given enough space). Once we drop the contained cat into the carrier, they start immediately with the crying, like that’s going to make a difference. “You know, Max, we were going to take you to the vet for your rabies and distemper shots, but after that last whimper you convinced us otherwise.” Fortunately, Dessa checked out with a clean bill of health, but she could have been in much worse shape on the trip back home. I’m a pretty defensive driver, and one thing I HATE is when another motorist is trying to direct you when they have no control on impending traffic. A good example of this is when you are at a stop light at a four-way intersection and want to turn left. Across from you is a motorist in the left lane of their two-lane road and is waving you on to turn. There’s just one problem: YOU CAN’T SEE WHAT IS COMING IN THE OTHER LANE! These people are the embodiment of liberalism. They have good intentions, but if you follow their path you will surely regret it. Well, this sort of thing happened to me on the way home from the vet. While driving along the left lane of Rt. 30 West, which is a two-lane highway, I noticed this vehicle in the right lane that had its right blinker on and had slowed down to a near halt. As my eyes were focusing back on the road, I noticed the motorist was making a “waving” gesture, and suddenly I realized this person was probably letting someone pull out. I slammed on the brakes. There was no screeching or the smell of burnt rubber, but there might as well have been. Suddenly this old guy in a red four-door car pulled out in front of me and the bitch that had waved him out. Had I not stopped, I would have plowed into him head-on because he was trying to cross our two lanes to get on Rt. 30 East. I wasn’t mad at him as much as I was pissed off at the person who said it was OK for him to pull out in oncoming traffic. It wasn’t worth shouting at this bitch because my windows were up and she was already halfway into her turn to the parking lot when I snapped out of my “Christ this could have been a bad accident” trance. On a side note, while we were at the vet, I couldn’t help but laugh at this black lab that was freaked out by having to be in the vet’s waiting room. You could tell he didn’t want to be there because his tail was in-between his legs and he wasn’t walking but rather being slid across the linoleum floor by his owner. But when his owner took a seat, the dog sniffed the lady next to him, and just like that his tail was wagging and he was having a great time being petted. Of course with Dessa all she does is just sit there and pout in her carrier; even when we take her back home, she bolts out of the carrier and hides under a bed for a couple of hours. The two males we have aren’t as bad, but they won’t be mistaken for that black lab anytime in the near future.

I think I remember you now -- didn't I make some insensitive comment about you smoking with your heart condition? And do you guys really hate the Air Force people?

The saltiness is from the cheese? I always thought it was from the roast beef. Ew.

I also meant to ask what is it? I did a Google search and it said it's a Marine camp/base. What do you do there? And since I set myself up with the stupid question (What are you doing at a Marine base?), I might as well complete the follow-through... "Well, kkk, I'm in training at this Marine base to learn how to fly a jet in the Air Force -- Here's your sign."

Great, now I'm going to have to scrub and sanitize this entry.

Interesting. I did not know that. I don't follow NASCAR, but there seems to be some in-fighting between longtime fans and the newer generation; is this one of the reasons (That there are more non-southern drivers, or has it always been this way?), along with NASCAR branching out and becoming more mainstream? You joined TSM two-and-a-half years ago and you're just figuring this out now? But seriously, thanks for the compliment. And where's Camp Lejeune?

• Ah the joys of relationships. Several days ago the better half got a cold, which of course was passed onto me just in time for the weekend. So as I spent my leisure time sweating one minute and shivering the next, there was another perk to this condition. Whenever we go to bed, she sounds like Kyle’s cousin from "South Park." If I’m not listening to her gurgle excess phlegm, I am awakened to her hacking a lung out several times a night. Tonight should be a joy. • Thanks to Hawk 34 for pointing out that the first AFRICIAN-AMERICAN TO QUALIFY FOR A NASCAR RACE IN 20 YEARS finished an impressive 38th. Perhaps if there was a police car following him throughout the race, he would have finished with a better time. Actually, I think this guy will feel like an outsider for quite a while. Not because he’s black, but rather because he sounds quite articulate. No, this isn’t another “He speaks so well!” backhanded compliment that's given to a black person trying to fit in white society; he’s probably the most well-spoken NASCAR driver I’ve heard since, well, ever. Then again I don’t follow NASCAR, so maybe there are some other yankees who haven’t mastered the Southern drawl yet. • And Hollywood wonders why people aren’t going to movies. Susan Sarandon is slated to play Cindy Sheehan in some hippie movie. Whoever makes this piece of crap deserves to lose the untold millions it would cost to produce. • About a week ago I saw some of “The Simple Life,” and had no words to describe the horror I saw. I didn’t think there could be anything to top this. I was wrong. The sad thing this guy probably has a SAT score above 1300. I like the “Blue Collar” stand-up and all, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to a theater and shelling out $8 to watch some guy say “Git-R-Done” for 90 minutes. It would be interesting, though, just to see who does buy tickets to this film. • When the World Baseball Classic concludes tonight, there will only be two players from Major League Baseball on display – pitcher Akinori Otsuka and outfielder Ichiro Suzuki. Big deal. The Pirates would kill just to get a hold of the South African roster. Oh, yeah. Go Japan; fuck those commies. Unless any want to defect after the game – then welcome aboard. • And while I’m talking about March Madness, I have to give the Women’s Tournament props. They finally got someone to dunk. Uh, great, I guess. Then again, my vertical leaves something to be desired. On an unrelated story, a few years back I ran an office March Madness pool at work; if memory serves, I got about 70 people to pony up $1 and fill out their brackets. While an enjoyable experience and overall morale booster, the best part came when some feminazi asked me why I wasn’t doing a pool for the women’s tournament. I think my response of “What a great idea, and you’d only have to charge a quarter entry fee instead of $1,” didn’t totally offend her, but my ears were warm for the next 20 minutes or so. Check that. The best part came when the chick who won the contest told me if it was OK that her husband was the one who filled out her bracket. While I didn't care who filled out these forms, it was fun giving her a guilty conscience for the next few days, especially since she was someone who cared about other people's feelings and well-being. Sucker.