kkktookmybabyaway

"In my day it only cost $10 to buy a car." "But back in your day you made a quarter a week." *Silence.* I've only made it to the "And by the way, you are taking way more out in Social Security than what you actually put into it yourself" point of this conversation once or twice with seniors.

7 p.m. • A teacher lost his job over this? If "he" was a "she" and "she" was "hot" and "she" had sex with her students, then this teacher would still be gainfully employed at best, collecting a paycheck while sitting at home at worst. You know, isn't this this same place which had that reality show where Dick Butkus quit coaching the high school football team before the season ended? Nope. You lost today, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it. 6:30 p.m. • Be warned. If you venture to the Discovery Channel, steer clear of this shit.

It means "Old Mexico." That's because W. killed them.

So when you stop posting we'll all know why. Then again, you really have to pace yourself for 541 in five-and-a-half years. And what are the "other problems"?

kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 14: King of the 909 It’s good to be King. Now being King of just the 909? I don’t know. From reading the limited entries in his blog it doesn’t appear that royalty in a state filled with illegal aliens would be all that appealing. Then again, if you were really King you’d be able to kill these leeches and then put a few in the heads of the Amnesty International and ACLU faggots that object. Funny enough, when he signed up for kkk Bowl years ago I thought for some reason he was black. But then he starts an ice hockey thread. Well so long to ethnic speculation. But back to “King’s Shit.” If you read the tagline to this cyber-diary it says: Really? Well let’s see what has bugged Mr. 909 since December of 2005. College Bowl games. The weekend of December 12 in the sports world. Smush Parker. The media not letting the Suns/Lakers go. MLB teams and their trading tactics. Uncontentness. His workplace. Towel-head Thanksgivings. Blog entries getting deleted when he writes a bunch of stuff. This year’s March Madness tournament. George Karl. The Lakers. The Lakers some more. THAT’S IT? N*gga I have more things annoy me during a trip to the grocery store. But you can count me in as one of those people that don’t think soccer is “gay.” However, please don’t start talking about Europe Cups, Manchester United or whatever the hell is going on in that continent below us. 9:15 p.m. • Well, we've been to London and we've been to L.A. Spain, New Zealand, and the U.S.A. Europe, Japan, and Pango-Pango Canada, Siam, Oz and Kamoto The kids all come from miles around The party gets started when the sun goes down A Holiday Inn's the only home I know Rock-n-roll's alive 'cause we got the power baby Crusing down the highway at 500 miles an hour baby We got a fuel-injected tour bus, man it really flies With a video tape deck inside Let's go, rock-n-roll, everybody c'mon Let's go, rock-n-roll, everybody c'mon now Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, oh baby, touring Especially with your favorite girl Touring, touring, all around the world Well we've been around this great big world And we've met all kinds of guys and girls From Kamoto Islands to Rockaway Beach No, it's not hard, not far to reach American girls knock me out, ya know Fast cars, cold beer, and rock-n-roll America is the only home I know Let's go Let's go Let's go Let's go 500 miles to Mexico Let's go Let's go Let's go Let's go 200 miles to Tokyo Let's go Let's go Let's go Let's go Drive, drive, drive the night away Straight on through to the break of day Drive, drive, drive the night away Well, it's in your blood, it's in your blood Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, oh baby, touring Especially with your favorite girl now Touring touring, all around the world Touring touring, all around the world Touring touring, all around the world ... Wait a second, I had "Rock and Roll High School" playing instead. Oh well, I'm sure I'm not the first to make that mistake. 6:15 p.m. • So there was some crazy-ass weather to hit the region right as I was leaving the office. My co-worker advised me to stay in until it cleared up, but my theory was to go now because the traffic would only get worse. Now there was some shitty conditions: heavy rain, high winds, some tornados spotted. However, there are parts of the country that deal with this shit all the time, so even though I was much more alert than I usually am on the drive home from work I wasn’t going OMG I’M SO FRIGHTENED like some callers on the local RIGHT-WING RADIO show were screaming. Why am I talking about this? Because I’m leading up to my road rage story. OK people, when traffic lights are out and there isn’t anyone directing traffic, TREAT IT LIKE A FOUR-WAY STOP SIGN AND DON’T JUST FUCKING DRIVE THROUGH THE INTERSECTION. There was a three way stop that I just knew was going to be trouble, and this blue-hair just went on through. Had I not prepared for this encounter I would have been t-boned. As I laid my horn on her for the next two blocks, at least I got her to stop at the next down traffic light. Jesus I hate people. Actually, I was a little concerned because I kept seeing downed trees during my commute. Especially since there are some big trees near my property. However, the storm lost steam when it got to the surrounding counties, which is where I live. Yet another reason why the suburbs rock. • How funny is this? I live in the Shittburgh area and I ESPN alerts me to local stories. First it was “Jim Rome is Burning” telling me the Pirates got Matt Morris. Now I learned from “Around the Horn” that the Steelers have a mascot. Steely McMotherfuckingBeam. Que? You know, one of the things I liked about the Steelers throughout my life is that they didn’t bother with mascots or cheerleaders. I guess I need something to laugh at after the Pirates stop playing in September and I don’t see the team’s “We Will” slogan for six months. At least the Succo's "Pirate Parrot" is tolerable. Ha. I forgot about this. Thanks Wikipedia. 3 p.m. • I heard about this when the story first broke. Sickening. It's not even worth making some "boy, I hope this child doesn't do hard time but instead gets lots of hugs for killing several members of our society who would have probably gone on to do something useful" remark. 12:30 p.m. • Ugh. Some asshole called the house at 2:45 a.m., waking up the kkk household. When the answering maching got activiated, my first thought was "who died?" But I'm guessing it was a wrong number because there was no messge and the Caller ID had it listed as a "private call." Bastards. I'm now crashing with two-and-a-half hours to go in my workday. If this would have been at 4:30 a.m., at least I would have been woken up 30 minutes before my alarm goes off anyway. But noooooo, it has to be two-plus hours hours. 11:45 a.m. • You know, everybody loves the term "Limousine Liberal," but it just doesn't seem to pack the punch it once did. After all, the Left-Wing Elite seems to be wasting more resources now than they ever did, what with their fancy houses and overseas trips. I think a more appropriate term should be "Private Plane Progressive." If Rush uses this line in the future, at least I'll know he reads my blog. 8:45 a.m. • LOL, on Boortz's local morning show, he just called former senator's Max Cleland's "chief of staff" a "little asshole." Awesome. 8:30 a.m. • This was the highlight of Boortz's show yesterday, and I knew there would be someone complaining about this segment. I was right. Hilarious.

They all look alike to me. (Like anyone didn't see that coming before Smues' post ended.) And I guess he'll be earning that $400 trying to find one.

Two-and-a-half years? Not yet? I wouldn't worry about it then. Until you start smelling pee all over the place. We have to put one in a room by himself because he gets a special diet while the other two eat in another room. We still have to keep watch because the two want what the other one has and vice versa.

What exactly can you do with data entry -- grow more fingers? Been "fired" twice at dead-end jobs due to attitude. Worked two seasonal jobs when there was no more work we all went home. Surprisingly, my workplace departures from the past 10 years have been quite positive.

6:45 p.m. • Oh no, RACISM~! Oh fuck, now the invasion is headed to my neck of the woods. Oh well, at least Al Keiper will be happy, especially when these hard-working invaders take his job of stat-keeping local minor league games for less pay, or at least less hot dogs/nachos/whatever the Scranton Mud Hens pay out. Yes, I know that's not a real team. I already whiffed in my 3 p.m. entry, so why not make up teams while I'm at it? • Get a job hippies ... and then you can own your holy mecca or whatever. Oh please let a developer turn this land into a Wal-Mart. 3 p.m. • So the better half’s boss isn’t that bad a person for an academic idiot. If I had to work with someone with a Ph.D., it would be her boss. However, there are times when I just shake my head and go WTF. Peep these two stories from yesterday. 1) This woman is paying some guy $400 to shop for a Honda Prius. I told Mrs. kkk to let her boss know I’d do it for $375. Hell, for a steady paycheck I’d shop at the hippie organic store for her, too. 2) The better half works for some research project that doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. It’s some funded study that analyzes if sexual behaviors of crackheads are more risky than those that inject heroin, or something equally stupid. Anyway, the boss was freaking out because the amount of crazy people applying for interviews has faded a bit. There’s only so much you can do by posting flyers around town. Now, what would be the obvious solution? To advertise. Personally, I think putting an ad or three in the local city paper (you know, those publications free to the public that have newsstands at the grocery store/theater/street corner/etc. However, when the Mrs. suggested advertising in newspapers and the like her boss said no because then there would be “too many responses.” Well alrighty then. 7:15 a.m. • So Barry B*nds is now the HOME RUN CHAMP OF THE WORLD~! Whatever. Did he take roids? Yeah. Did other people? Yeah. Is the homer total legit? Sure. I just don't like him. At least he lost in that World Series to the Angles a few years back. Wow, him losing and Racist Dusty in one swoop. That was a good night indeed.

We'll see once they start spraying all over the place. Regulate their feedings or else they're going to get real fat real quick.

Actually, it was a baby daddy joke becaue Ripper likes women with kids. So I guess you really didn't see that one coming. Don't worry, I'll make a welfare joke next time. Just for you. Ripper, what kind of food are you feeding them? $25/month seems a bit high for two cats on regular retail brands (Friskies/etc.), so I'm guessing you're giving them somewhat decent kibble. And you also better be taking them to the vet for their shots and ball-choppings.

Is Wilbon narrating it?

8:30 p.m. • Ugh. Today was terrible, especially with the humidity. Drive home. Got to vet because Max’s special food was in, even though the day before I was told his brand of kibble doesn’t come in a bag bigger than 6lbs. Wait 10 minutes because said cat food wasn’t coming up on screen and the office’s cashiers are horrid. Drive to Wendy’s for dinner. Idiot kids in line in front of us. I think at least one works there and is hitting on the cashier. Felt the urge to grab a chair from the dining area and sit while waiting for this never-ending order to conclude. Decide on leaving the store instead. Go to Subway. Service was fine, but several high schoolers were cackling in the corner. Well at least I don’t have to be in a classroom teaching them 40 minutes per day, five days per week. Grocery shopping. Not bad. Going home. Not bad. Dealing with the humidity. The suq. Going to work tomorrow. Goodie. Oh well, at least I took Monday off so now it’s midweek for me and my brain still thinks it’s Monday night. Was this really worth typing? Eh, I already did it so what the hell. 3 p.m. • So I heard the Brady Quinn/Cleveland Browns holdout saga is coming to an end. Now I understand why athlete want to get the most for their money, especially in a place as cutthroat as the NFL. However, I think Quinn should have signed earlier and been content with being paid more like a mid-to-late round selection rather than a Top 5 draftee, especially considering the Browns did what they could to take him later in the first round. I can’t imagine how more embarrassing it could have been for him if that didn’t happen. From what I heard, there was some bickering as to the last year or two and guaranteed money. Hey, if Quinn ends up as anything, I’m sure there will be a lucrative extension in his future, making this half-a-million moot. Yeah, I know all it would take is a freak hit to end his career, but I think he would have done much more for his public image (and endorsement value) if he would have gotten to camp earlier for a little less money than he’ll probably end up getting with this current contract. Ah, lookie here. He finally did sign. 8 a.m. • So I came into work today and went to the Dennis Miller Radio Show's web page for my archived listening pleasure. Lo and behold, I now have to pay money to listen to audo archives. Bye-bye. • Wha-? Shouldn't the instructor have realized his student was on the tipsy side? • I'm liking the Steelers new head coach Mike Tomlin more and more. I heard a soundbite from him earlier this morning when asked about some player who had a great game against the Saints, which included a 50+ yard gain. Tomlin's response (which was said in a joking manner): the player needed to work on his conditioning more because he looked a little tired out by the end of that run. Good stuff.

8:45 p.m. • So today was spent away from work because I had eight vacation days to use up by year’s end, and now that number is seven. One thing the better half and I decided to do (since she took off work as well) was to take our second car in for its annual emission/inspection. Now this piece of shit is an ’88 Corsica and my niece and nephew in-laws affectionately call it “crappy the white car.” Seriously, this thing looks like it’s on its last leg (or wheel, as the case may be), but it still moves around with no problem whenever we have to take it out of the garage. Well, we got a call from the auto place that said Crappy needs a lot of work to it. When I heard the estimate I said, “we’ll pick it up.” Now I know dick when it comes to automobiles, and I make no bones about my lack of knowledge on the subject. When I told Mrs. kkk what they said needed replaced, she was flipping out because she claims Crappy doesn’t have any of those problems. Whatever. We’re going to get her brother, a mechanic, to look Crappy over and take the car to another place for inspection where the standards are so high as the place we took the car prior. (The father-in-law said that the guy who looked over Crappy is new and extremely anal-retentive.) What was pissing the better half off was that she things the mechanic was trying to rip us off because most of the things wrong with Crappy deal with emissions, which this car is exempt from because it was driven less than 5,000 miles in the last year. Now I don’t mind getting ripped off by the mechanic. Sure, charge me an extra $50 for this or replace a widget that didn’t need fixing for $75. I don’t now the difference. I will say this however – I better not have to come back to your business to re-fix the problem. That’s when the trouble will begin and I become an asshole. Otherwise, my theory on this matter is don’t fuck with someone who has easy access to your car’s brake line. I finally got Mrs. kkk settled down when I told her that at least now we know this mechanic is a likely swindler and that it’s better to know this now than when any big-time work was to be done on the Crappy or the other car in the kkk household (a 2003 Cavalier) and we could have really been taken to the cleaners. Speaking of money, we went out shopping today and while at the mall the better half went into some over-priced shampoo/soap store where she buys that kind of stuff chicks like to get. Problem was nothing was on sale and she left empty-handed. As we were walking she muttered to me, “I can’t believe I went in there and didn’t buy anything because nothing was on sale. See your influence on me?” I couldn’t be more proud. Interesting, I’m a Jew when it comes to 99 percent of financial matters but more than willing to get ripped off at the mechanic’s shop. Call me a hypocrite if you want, but my reasoning for this is while I can shop around for a multitude of items and sales, when it comes to auto trouble I want a place I can trust to get the job done. If that means I pay a few dollars more because they want to replace lug nuts or something, then so be it. I guess I’ve seen too many assholes at car repair shops flipping out over the price of brakes or mufflers. Dude, if you don’t like the price, then do it yourself or take your business elsewhere and let me read my in-store magazine in peace. While I’m on this subject, I’ve had more than once mechanic compliment me on my manners over the years regarding my patience and understanding with car maintenance. One time my car needed some work done to it (a couple hundred dollars) and the mechanic was literally bracing himself for my sure-to-be angry reaction. I just said, “OK, just do whatever.” He was shocked that I didn’t go, “YOU MEAN TO TELL ME IT’LL COST THAT MUCH!?!? RAWWWWWWWWWR!” Did I get ripped off? I have no idea. But I’ve never had to take the car in to get it fixed since regarding that problem.

And you're looking at guests looking at the most bizarre things.

10 a.m. • Even though this story is funny, what with the shirt's message and all, when this bitch goes out and kills someone with her car we'll all be going "OMG WHY WASN'T ANYTHING DONE BEFORE THIS HAPPENED?" Here's a news video regarding this story for those that care. 9 a.m. • I bet this would have been an intersting sight. A French rapper supporting a right-wing president? The closest thing I can think of right now as to when this happened in the United States was this with Eazy-E. • While on the hip-hop subject, I got KRS-One playing in the background. My favorite track on his self-titled album is coming up, which coincidently is the same album that has a song called "Free Mumia." There's some good advice in this verse, even if you don't plan on being a rapper in order to pay the mortgage.

Would we need to wear buttons with our avatars on it? Or our signatures across our stomachs? Having avatars on buttons/shirts would make for an interesting picture.

Better artwork with the purple.

Wha- Ripper's 28? I hope that vomit is from the party and not morning sickness. Then again, you'd probably want that to happen.

I've never watched an Oprah show in my life, but I think this was another family that used drugs to get 6-7 kids they couldn't afford.

I think his plan is to cash in on his self-built customer base. Seventeen children = seventeen customers! You're on the right track. His plan is to build his own voting bloc. From May of last year. And since all the kids are from one dad and not 17, it's not hard to figure out which political party he's representing. Gee, the article says he was a supporter of "family values." Ya think? Also from the article. I'm sure the Duggar family's Web site might be an interesting visit.

10 p.m. • So I just got done watching "Crash." Holy shit did that deserve to win an Oscar -- for best comedy. I can't remember another film from recent memory in which I've laughed so hard for so long. 3 p.m. • About damn time, A-Rod. Now the sports media can talk about when you are going to hit 600~! • So I’m in the mood to make fun of my employers. In two weeks I will be at another board meeting where I’m sure there will be plenty of bitching about the downward spiral of our organization. Why is my workplace in the shitter? Perhaps this example might shed some light on the subject: In August of 2006 it was voted on to raise our annuity rates by a half-point in order to generate much-needed business. In addition, it was voted on to start a print advertising campaign to, you know, let people know of this rate increase, which was considerably higher than the rest of the market. My idiot boss was lukewarm to this, claiming outside advertising doesn’t work. Between this time and the next meeting in November I produced about a half-dozen ad concepts and filed them away until the idiot decides to ask for them. In November of 2006, there is no mention of this ad campaign at the board meeting. In February of 2007, nothing is done at this meeting either. In May of 2007, it is determined that we cut the annuity rates because they didn’t generate the type of business the powers-that-be had hoped. The idiot boss also tells everybody that the print ad campaign will be done “sometime this summer.” My ads are still lounging in my “stuff the boss will forget about because shiny objects around him are easy distractions” folder. As of Friday, August 3, there is still no mention of these ads from the powers-that-be. So, in summary, we raised annuity rates for nearly nine months in hopes of attracting customers. We didn’t advertise these rates and nobody bought them. If any advertising will now be done, it will tout rates that have been reduced and are at par with the rest of the industry and are really not all that spectacular, especially with a stock market at 14,000. (Quick lesson: the better the stock market does, the worse it is for the annuity market and vice versa.) This will then make the idiot boss say, “See? outside advertising does not work. Just like I told you all before.” Did I forget mention that at the August 2006 meeting it was determined the theme of these ads were to pimp our increased annuity rates? Like I’ve said before, there’s something charming about watching this kind of behavior – in a train wreck sort of way. Now you might ask, “How come you didn’t show your boss the ads you created nearly a year ago?” Because when you deal with people this incompetent, the best thing to do is step away, keep your mouth shut and avoid them whenever possible. If you get too close to a tar pit, then you’ll be dragged in as well. Trust me on this one. 10:30 a.m. • So I had to go with the better half to some annual church bazaar and had to play Bingo for 90 minutes. Actually, I don’t mind Bingo. It’s rather fun to piss off Mrs. kkk by flipping those chip-things around and hear all the old people bitch about not being able to hear the numbers called out. In fact, last night’s outing was downright awesome because the Bingo caller’s kid was helping call out numbers. Did I mention the kid has Downs. Do I need to say any more? Wow, were there a number of angry blue-hairs. Please note I’m not giddy the kid has Downs. Rather, it was hilarious to watch so many people try to understand what she was calling out when her dad would call out the same number a few seconds later.

Oh, there's already a backlash of sorts because the Pirates didn't draft some catcher and instead went with a cheaper pitcher.

I saw this family on a Discovery show a year or two ago. I think the dad works in real estate.