King Cucaracha

It's not down. The address just changed. It's back to what it originally was.

I've got it. Did I send you a PM reply the other day, or did I get forget? I'll hopefully have the 8-man I didn't do last week as well.

So, I lied. I'll push it back to this week's show instead. I did throw in a Biff segment though.

I'll have the 8-man tommorrow.

COLE ...hang on, we're hearing that there's some sort of a commotion backstage. Let's get a camera back there. When we do, we find Bohemoth, laid out and screaming in pain with a heavy production equipment trunk trapped on his right leg. As he reaches back and tries to push it off of his leg, Leon Rodez runs across and boots him in the side of the head! A group of referees and suited officials rush into the scene and try to keep Leon back from doing more damage. BOHEMOTH AH! I'M GONNA GET YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH! Leon calmly walks past Bohemoth, picking up a WRENCH that 'just happened' to be lying beside him. And without a hint of a smile Leon walks off, while the various rescuers try to move the equipment trunk off of Bohemoth. COLE I don't believe this... and I can't believe I'm still saying that about Leon Rodez! What in the hell is he thinking!? It takes at least four of the officials to tip the trunk over, freeing Bohemoth's leg. He lays writhing in agony, as someone calls for some EMTs to be fetched. COLE Clearly Bohemoth in a lot of pain. I'm in shock here. Leon Rodez, perpetrator of a sneak attack, it just doesn't sound right but that's clearly what happened. COACH Bohemoth was threatening to do the same thing. But it looks like Leon just threw a spanner in the works of those plans. COLE Oh, very cute.

We join proceedings in the ring and find Abdullah Abir Nerdly on the microphone, ranting away in Arabic, with the crowd doing their very best to drown him out with boos. COLE Abdullah Abir clearly in a bad mood tonight... COACH Don't talk over the man! COLE Why not, it's not like you can understand him. COACH Don't listen to the words, listen to the passion, the meaning behind them. Abdullah's ranting ends as "Witness (1 Hope)" by Roots Manuva begins to play. Coming out through the entrance isn't who we're used to seeing. Or, rather, it is, but dressed somewhat differently. And wearing a mask. BUFFER And introducing his opponent. From Birmingham, England... weighing in at one hundred and eighty one pounds... ladies and gentlemen, "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... J - MMMMMMAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXX!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh please. 'J-MAX'. That's just Jamie O'Hara under a mask. COLE Well, duh! Encouraging the crowd to make some noise, the masked Birmingham Bad Boy runs the last part of the aisle and somersaults into the ring, right to his feet. Abdullah isn't quite so chatty now and ducks out of the ring, motioning for the referee to keep him back. J-MAX whips up the crowd some more, ready to go. COACH This is ridiculous. It's the same guy, same music, same nickname! Except he's hiding his face under a mask because he's ashamed. And so he should be! COLE He's got nothing to be ashamed of if you ask me. This is a new look and a new attitude for the man we once knew as Jamie O'Hara and I don't think The Heavenly Rockers will have much to make fun of when J-MAX is through with them. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and a cautious Abdullah waits for an opening, trying to attack from behind, but J-MAX has eyes in the back of his mask and catches him with a boot! J-MAX delivers some forearms, before whipping Abby to the ropes and knocking him down with a back elbow. Back up, Abdullah gets nailed with a flipping dropkick. And then gets clotheslined up and over the top rope by the Brit! COLE And J-MAX is turning it up to max! Abdullah waves things off and calls for a prayer break. But J-MAX is already on the run and wipes Abdullah out with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh yeah! That's the Jamie O'Hara we know and love, the man who can do things like that! COACH You may know and love him. I'd rather do neither, thanks. Throwing Abdullah back inside, J-MAX calls on the crowd again as he jumps to the apron. Abdullah picks himself up and is left looking up in horror as J-MAX flies towards him again, front-flipping in mid-air and landing on Abdullah with a seated senton!! 1... 2... Kickout! Abdullah rolls to a corner and tries to beg off. J-MAX takes one look at the crowd and knows what to do, stomping a mudhole in the Spiritual Advisor! COACH This isn't fair Michael! Abdullah isn't a full-time wrestler, he's ring rusty! COLE And he wasn't that good to begin with. No wonder he's getting his ass handed to him! COACH Shut up. Picking him up out of the corner, J-MAX whips Abdullah across the ring. He follows and hits a jumping forearm in the opposite corner. Off the ropes, J-MAX then blasts Abdullah with a Busaiku Knee Kick as he stumbles away from the turnbuckles! Everything is going J-MAX's way... until THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS head down the aisle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Before Logan and Synth can get to the ring though, they're ambushed by THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The odds are even! And I don't think The Heavenly Rockers like it so much this way! MARV and MEL take it to Logan and Synth on the floor, while in the ring J-MAX is able to concentrate on the mask. Scoop and a slam plants Abdullah. Setting himself, J-MAX follows up with a STANDING MOONSAULT! The masked Brit then drags Abdullah into position and heads to the top. COLE What are we going to see here? COACH Abdullah moving... I hope. Quickly to the top, J-MAX takes aim... AND CONNECTS WITH THE SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP!!!!! COLE J-MAX just took it to the max! 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... J-MMMAAAAXXXXX!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Standing over Abdullah, J-MAX places a foot on his chest and raises his arms in victory. He manages to escape the ring before The Heavenly Rockers can get to him and jogs over to celebrate with MARV and MEL, leaving Logan and Synth fuming again. COLE A small measure of revenge for J-MAX here tonight. After so many months of humiliation, that had to feel good. But I don't think he'll be fully satisfied until he's gotten his hands on Logan and Synth as well. COACH He should quit while he's ahead. It'd be better than quitting while he's behind like last time. Take your win over a helpless manager and go before The Heavenly Rockers embarrass you once and for all, punk. The trio of MARV, MEL and J-MAX taunt from ringside as Synth tends to Abdullah and Logan flies into a rage. He dares the three of them to come back into the ring and J-MAX just taps his wrist, telling Logan that the time will come soon enough.

OAOAST '8-Man' Tag Team Titles Cucaracha Internacional vs. Love Doctors De Fuego 'Jamie O'Hara' vs. Abdullah Abir Nerdly

Unwanted? I called it about two hours before you did!

I'm here. My stuff for the week's in. I was away from the internet longer than I expected, is all.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this is your MAIN EVENT, and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! For the millionth time tonight, "Scream" by Chris Cornell hits. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied by fellow Orange County Cobra SIMON SINGLETON, he weighs 237 pounds… "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLAAAANCHAARD!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" His knee bandaged, Ned limps to the ring and quickly tosses his vest aside. COLE You think Ned isn’t ready? I’ve never seen him more determined in my life. COACH Speaking of life, the O.C. Cobras are running on barrowed time. They screwed VICE out of the tag titles at the Great Angle Bash. COLE What about the Moneymaker/Duncan World title match? COACH Well, the Cubs have the Curse of the Billy Goat; Krista the Curse of the Cunt! Green and yellow lights swirl across the area as Theodore Moneymaker is carried to the ring to the tune of “Sympathy for the Devil” by Guns N Roses. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from Vero Beach, Floridia, and weighing 236 pounds... he is the Chief Executive Officer of THE ENTERPRISE and the NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORRRRRRLD... "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker rises from his throne, mic in hand. MONEYMAKER Attention one, attention all. Your World Champion is about to speak. Showered with boos, Moneymaker scowls. MONEYMAKER Now, before this match gets underway we need to take care of some business first. Simon Singleton, you need to get your ass to the back or I‘m not defending my title. You’re a meddler. Not to mention a disgruntled former employee! SIMON MONEYMAKER Don’t play dumb with me. I saw the Great Angle Bash, which I recommend everyone catch the encore presentation of this weekend to see history made by yours truly. You and Blanchard cost V.I.C.E. the tag team title, so I wouldn’t put it past you to try to do the same to me. If I’m gonna lose… "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MONEYMAKER …it’s because Ned was the better man, not because he had outside help. COLE Is he forgetting the Great Angle Bash? COACH That was divine intervention. Simon and Ned discuss the situation, then high five before Simon returns backstage. COLE I guess we’re gonna have a World title match then. Moneymaker disrobes and enters the ring to chants of “TEDDY SUCKS!” * DINGDINGDING * Face to face, Ned and Moneymaker exchange words. Shoving ensues and Moneymaker pie-faces Ned, who retaliates with a barrage of roundhouses! Moneymaker reverses a whip and sets for a backdrop, but Ned throws a kick and clotheslines the Billion Dollar Heir! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker tries escaping the ring but is grabbed by the hair. Ned rams Moneymaker into the buckle and backdrops him out of the far opposite corner! The early offensive onslaught causes Moneymaker to beg for mercy. Fist clinched Ned plays to the crowd, buying Moneymaker time to make his next move, hurling Ned into the turnbuckle by the trunks! COACH Would you look at that? Ned actually used his head for once! COLE Oh brother. Moneymaker slides outside and bashes Ned’s already tender knee against the ring post! Again. And again! Clutching his knee, Ned retreats to the center of the ring. Like a predator stalking its prey, Moneymaker creeps up on Ned, laughing diabolically. Repeated stomps to the knee cause Ned to scream in pain. Moneymaker places Ned’s foot on the bottom rope and crashes down with all his weight! COACH Look at Ned squirming, Cole. It’s like a fish out of water. Moneymaker applies THE SPINNING TOE HOLD and keeps twisting the knee until Ned kicks him off! The Billion Dollar Heir smacks the corner hard and stumbles back into a SCHOOL BOY! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Ned hammers away, and then fires Moneymaker across. Big clothesline connects and, after shaking off the knee, Ned runs the ropes to deliver his trademark POINTY ELBOW~!…but Moneymaker pops to his feet and executes a POWERSLAM! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Following a snap mare Moneymaker drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS~! COACH I bet Ned regrets taking this match now, Cole. COLE I seriously doubt that. We always knew Ned had the talent, but it was until recently we found out he has the heart to go along. Rather than go for the cover Moneymaker climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and delivers a DIVING BACK ELBOW DROP! Now the cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH The knee Teddy! Go back to the knee! COLE What are you, a manager now? Apparently Moneymaker heard Coach, as he once again targets the knee of Ned. Moneymaker twirls his finger and goes for THE FIGURE-4, but Ned wraps him up in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker charges forward, and Ned counters the attempted BILLION $ KNEELIFT by SWEEPING Moneymaker’s legs out from under! Quick cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Toe to toe both men go, with Ned getting the better end of the exchange. Moneymaker rakes the eyes to put a stop to that, but Ned reverses a whip and plants Moneymaker with a FLAPJACK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker crawls onto the apron and is on the verge of being suplexed back in when Ned’s knee buckles and he lands on top! COLE He’s got the tights, ref! Theodore Moneymaker is gonna steal this one! The count. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO, KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moneymaker hooks Ned for a belly-to-belly, but Ned stomps his foot and SLINGSHOTS Moneymaker into the corner turnbuckle! COACH I got a bad feeling we’re gonna have a new champion, Cole. Ned looks to hit the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX when he spots V.I.C.E. arrive ringside. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What happened to Moneymaker preferring to lose because Ned was the better man, not due to outside interference? I mean he threatened not to wrestle as long as Simon was ringside. COACH VICE hasn’t interfered. COLE Yet. Though VICE do not interfere their presence alone is enough to throw Ned off his game. Moneymaker delivers a LOW BLOW, unseen by the referee who is distracted by VICE, and then THE SPEAR OF LONGINUS~!!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * COLE DAMNIT! BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The jeers soon turn to cheers as SIMON SINGLETON rushes down to get him some of VICE! COACH Look at this idiot trying to fight 2 guys at once. Simon strikes fast like a cobra, but the numbers are too much for him to overcome. Thrown into the ring he’s subjected to a 3 on 1 beat down courtesy of VICE and Theodore Moneymaker. COLE Hey, come on now! This isn’t right! The bell sounds frantically, but that doesn’t stop VICE or Moneymaker. Suddenly a HUGE ROAR as KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN storms the ring. COACH It’s Krista! COLE And she’s mad as hell! Moneymaker bails, whisked to safety by CPA. This leaves Bosley to experience Krista’s wrath. She puts the clamps on Bosley, giving him a BLUE BALL SPECIAL (Testicular claw) while slapping him with her free hand. Then she PUKES. COLE/COACH The opening fanfare from "Jesus Christ Superstar" hits again as Moneymaker, arms raised to the heavens, flashes "the moneyfingers" sign while laughing. Refusing help from Ned, the show ends with Krista looking like she got an early start on a weekend bender. FADE OUT

Battlebowl starts this week and I've got Zack Malibu and Todd Cortez vs. Logan Mann and Tango Bosley If my stuff is late, don't panic, I might not be around this weekend to get to a computer. We'll see.

I can take the other two matches for now. (If I need to delegate, I will, so be warned! (but I should be fine))

My stuff's in, sorry I was around yesterday to post it.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP!! "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits, bringing out the ever-popular challenger. A little tense, Jade takes a sharp intake of breath and jumps about on the stage trying to get her mind in the right place before she walks to the ring tagging outstretched hands. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger. Now residing in Los Angeles, California. The second generation starlet with a heart of gold and former OAOAST Women's Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Former Women's Champion, who until tonight has never gotten a one on one rematch with the girl who beat her at AngleMania VII, Morgan Nerdly. But that changes here tonight. COACH The whole reason Jade never got a rematch is because she was too scared to ask for one. And can you blame her? She befriended Morgan and then cast her off, threw her to the curb. She already got zapped once, I'd consider that getting off lightly. Sliding demurely into the ring, Jade climbs onto the middle turnbuckle to wave to the crowd. COLE You have to wonder where Jade's mind is tonight, a lot going on with her friends and especially he family lately. [i]GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now.[/i] Charges of electricity scream down on an entrance stage that’s carpeted by dark blue lights. On the numerous video screens throughout the venue images of flashes of electrical bolts find their way onto screen. After the final violent bolt of electricity touches down on stage the entrances door rip apart to showcase Morgan Nerdly. Stalking slowly to the ring, Morgan's eyes scowl at the girl she once called friend, gripping onto her Women's Title belt as if it were some kind of comfort blanket. BUFFER And, her opponent. From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she is the current reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION!! Prepare for [i]SHOCK[/i] and awe from MMMOOOOOOORRRRRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The unbalanced and unstable 19 year old Women's Champion, dangerous and volatile. We ask where Jade's head is at, but who knows where Morgan's is? Especially with the manipulation Lorelei DeCenzo's been carrying out on her lately. And in three nights at The Great Angle Bash, scheduled to be Morgan going one on one with Sophie, which will be for the Women's Title assuming Morgan can get past Jade tonight. COACH And no surprise, Josie trying to throw a spanner in the works before Sunday with this match. I'll betcha Jade don't want no part of this, Josie just needed a big ol' wrench to throw out there. Morgan hands over her Women's Title and starts pacing back and forth in her corner. Jade is given a look at the belt but seems more worried with what Morgan's doing. *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds and Morgan continues pacing, seemingly muttering away to herself. COLE Morgan... maybe psyching herself up? COACH Or maybe she's [i]psychoing[/i] herself up. COLE Very good, thank you Coach. Confused and a little concerned, Jade slowly approaches Morgan. Suddenly, letting out a shriek, the Women's Champion rushes forward and grabs hold of Jade's hair, violently shaking her head back and forth. After the initial shock Jade strikes Morgan in the chest to break her hold, then pops her in the jaw with a forearm shot! And another! COLE Boy, I think Jade knew she was in a fight before the bell rang but she's certainly not shying away from it! Morgan is the one who's shocked now and as she nurses her jaw, Jade grabs her by the arm and whips her to the ropes. Leaving her feet, a leaping clothesline from Jade hooks Morgan down! Fired up all of a sudden, Jade waves Morgan back to her feet and knocks her down with a second clothesline. Morgan crawls into a corner and Jade follows right behind, but suddenly has a pang of conscience as Morgan wraps herself protectively around the bottom turnbuckle. COLE Morgan suddenly wants no part of this one! Hesitating over whether to attack, Jade can't bring herself to and she lets Morgan up. COLE A little compassion on the part of the challenger. COACH Oh sure, where was that compassion when Morgan tried to befriend her? Suprised at being allowed up, Morgan is slow to get to her feet. Jade eventually moves back towards Morgan, which is when the Women's Champion reaches out and pulls Jade into the turnbuckles! After a moment's pause looking down at her work, Morgan covers Jade... 1... 2... No! Unlike her opponent, Morgan doesn't allow Jade to get back up, kicking her into the corner and then stomping away. Morgan backs into the middle of the ring and runs at Jade, delivering a low dropkick against the bottom turnbuckle. COACH This is what Lorelei's talking about. This is Morgan Nerdly. She's ruthless and he's dangerous, that's what's making her the Women's Champion. COLE Well that's fine in the heat of competition. But when she's attacking innocent members of staff, that's a different story. Morgan throws Jade face-first to the mat, hitting the ropes and delivering another low dropkick, this time to Jade's face as she gets to all fours! Morgan covers again... 1... 2... Kickout! Waiting for Jade to get back up, Morgan crouches behind her, harsh eyes fixed on her challenger. The crowd will Jade back to her feet, neglecting to tell her that Morgan is waiting for her to turn around. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A knifedge chop from Morgan connects. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" But Jade lets out a shout and lashes right back out at an unsuspecting Morgan! Chest stinging, a vengeful spite spills out of Morgan... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and she lashes out at Jade again. Morgan hasn't even finished growling before Jade retaliates... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chopping Morgan again! And then catching her with a quick forearm smash. Holding Morgan behind the head, Jade delivers a firmer forearm shot and the Women's Champion is staggered. Another forearm, almost causing Morgan's legs to collapse underneath her. COLE Those fighting Duncan genes starting to kick in! Despite being groggy, Morgan growls under her breath again. And in her rage, she actually encourages her opponent to hit her again! Ever obedient, Jade paws her with an open left hand. Then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360... but Morgan sees the spinning clothesline coming and ducks underneath, carrying herself into the ropes. Recovering her feet, Jade tries another clothesline, but Morgan ducks again. She comes back off the far ropes and leaves her feet looking for a crossbody, but Jade catches her opponent's slender frame and turns it into a POWERSLAM!! 1... 2... NO! COLE Nearfall for the former Women's Champion! Jade backs into a corner and goes up to the middle rope, set to take a rare risk. Back up, Morgan's eyes narrow and she charges looking to knock Jade off the turnbuckles. Jade sticks out a zebra stripe foot out though, causing Morgan to run right into it. Pushing up on the top rope, Jade sits herself on the Champion's shoulders and pushes off with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... NO! The would-be cheerleader leads the cheers of the Conneticut crowd and she hits the ropes. Morgan surprises Jade by pulling a 180 and catching her in the jaw with a back elbow! Reaching back, Morgan then snapmares Jade over with more than a hint of a hairpull, backing up and kicking Jade HARD between the shoulder blades! COLE Ooh! COACH IT'S GOOD! Morgan forces Jade down and pins her... 1... 2... No! Morgan sits Jade up and kicks her in the back again. Dropping to a knee, she then applies a rear chinlock, knee placed in the back. As Jade refuses to submit, eyes turn away from the ring, and boos begin to rumble as down the aisle walks an emotionless LEON RODEZ! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Uh-oh. COLE Leon Rodez? I don't know what reason he's got for being out here, but I know that I don't like the looks of it. What twisted motive has Leon got on his mind? Our Women's Title match will continue when we come back! [b]*COMMERCIAL BREAK*[/b] When we come back, we find new fight in Jade as she tries to rally back on the Women's Champion. Stood in front of the announce table, Leon watches on, no change in his emotion whatsoever. Striking her repeatedly, Jade comes off the ropes and looks to take Morgan down with a clothesline. Morgan ducks underneath the line and wraps her hand around Jade's throat, sweeping her legs with a modified STO takedown! Morgan turns to Leon, distraced by his appearance. But when Leon barely acknowledges the fact he's being looked at, Morgan turns away and she hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! Morgan sits up and rages at the referee, furious she didn't get the three count. Leon doesn't flinch, but the referee sure does. COLE What a competitive match we're seeing, for the OAOAST Women's Championship. Jade has really taken the fight to her unpredictable opponent so far. But a dark cloud has been hanging over us since just before the break, thanks to the presence of Leon Rodez, who's been watching this match very closely. COACH Jaded much? A guy comes out to watch his niece fight for the Women's Title and here you are goin' all PI on us, talking about alterior motives and stuff? COLE Does that look like a man who's routing his niece on? Leon continues to watch blankly, as Morgan now lashes out at Jade in the corner. After repeated punches Morgan is forced to back away by the referee. She whips Jade across the ring and into the opposite corner, following after her with a running shoulder to the midsection. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Letting the crowd get to her, Morgan starts screaming at them to "shut up". Not in an angry way, more in desperation. COACH These people are making a mistake. They're getting Morgan angry... and you won't like her when she's angry! COLE This isn't a laughing matter Coach. Quite frankly, this young girl has some personal issues that she needs attention for and that's not something to hold against her or use as a stick to beat her with. The problem is, she doesn't seem to [i]want[/i] that help. Looking flustered, Morgan throws Jade to the ropes and ducks her head. But she does so way too early, allowing Jade to stop and kick her in the shoulder. Morgan lashes out with a wild clothesline, but Jade ducks and throws a Front Dropkick to knock the runt of the Nerdly litter down. Scrambling to her feet, Morgan is hit with a second Front Dropkick. Back up again and Jade goes for a third... but Morgan steps back and lets Jade fall on the back of her head, then traps her in a Boston Crab! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE A NICE counter move from Morgan! Jade shouts in pain as the pressure is put on back. Even this, not enough to draw any reaction from Leon. Luckily for Jade, she's near to the ropes and manages to reach out for the bottom one before any lengthy damage can be done. COLE Morgan has focused a lot of offence on that back and Jade might be lucky to have escaped there. Picking Jade back up, a scowl forms on Morgan's face. Her spite is directed at the crowd, as she tells them to say goodbye to Jade before picking her up on her shoulders. COLE Uh-oh, Morgan looking to adminster Shock & Awe! Morgan gets Jade up on her shoulders and tries to throw her... ...but Jade escapes down the back and rolls Morgan up... 1... 2... NO! COLE Oh! Almost had her! COACH What a fluke that would have been. Cutting into Jade's chest with a kick, Morgan is frustrated. She grabs hold of Jade's hair and pulls her in, trying for another fireman's carry. Jade fights Morgan off this time and shoves her towards the ropes. Morgan hangs on and stops herself. But she suddenly gets a rush of blood and with a scream, she charges at Jade anyway, Jade charging right back at her and hooking Morgan to the canvas with a hooking sleeper drop!! COLE SWEET DREAMS, MORGAN NERDLY! Jade drops herself on top... 1... 2... 3...NO!! COLE And AGAIN, so close to a new Women's Champion! Jade is beginning to get on a roll. COACH Morgan wasn't prepared for this. She's been preparing for Sophie all week and then she gets this curveball thrown at her. No wonder she feels like the world's against her! Jade picks Morgan up, scooping her for a slam. Morgan escapes and yanks Jade down by the hair, stacking her on her shoulders for a pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Both girls are back up and it's Jade who strikes, catching Morgan with a surprise Jawbreaker. Jade draws off the crowd again and she comes off the ropes. Morgan manages to cut Jade off with a weary boot to the gut though. Grabbing onto Jade's purple cheerleader outfit, Morgan throws Jade towards the turnbuckles looking to give herself a second to recover. Blocking a collision with the turnbuckles, Jade gives Morgan none of the time she wants, luring Morgan into a charge and sidestepping, causing the Women's Champion to clatter into the turnbuckles. As Morgan stumbles backwards, Jade then throws herself up and connects with the E!ziguri, right to the face! COLE Caught her! For the first time Leon reacts, starting to inch forward. Morgan rolls through to her feet and Jade sees her opportunity, hooking Morgan around the chin from behind and sitting out with the reverse x-factor!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE GOT IT FROM MY MOMMA, NEW CHAMPION... Jade hooks onto Morgan's legs to pin her down... ...but there's no count, because Leon Rodez has calmly climbed into the ring and stands in the corner, arms folded, staring right past the referee who's gesturing for him to leave the ring! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? The referee's demands to leave fall on deaf ears, Leon treating him as if he weren't even there. Making no effort to actually distract him, but doing an excellent job of it. Suddenly, the crowd erupt, for the arrival of BOHEMOTH, pissed off and marching to the ring! COACH [i]This[/i] is what this is! COLE It's a scheme, just like I thought! Leon's costing his niece the Women's Title and it's all to draw out Bohemoth! COACH Worked too, huh? Bohemoth stomps around ringside and reaches into the ring, grabbing hold of Leon's ankle and pulling him out of the ring! The crowd erupt, expecting Bohemoth to lay Leon to waste. But he doesn't. So Leon SLAPS HIM!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Visibly shaking, Bohemoth's eyes widen. On the brink of an explosion, he turns back around, seething. Jade has been distracted by all this and before Bohemoth can react, she screams over the ropes at him not to do anything... before screaming again as she's yanked away, pulled up onto the shoulders and hit with SHOCK & AWE BY MORGAN!! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE I don't believe it! Morgan Nerdly has stolen this one! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... MMOOOOOORRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEEERRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Grabbing her belt, Morgan sits on her knees confused at what's unfolding in front of her. And she wants no part of it, rolling out of the ring and heading to the back. Bohemoth looks shocked on Jade's behalf at what happened. Not shocked, Leon smiles on himself. And when Bohemoth spots this, he sees red and GRABS LEON BY THE THROAT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Here we go, here we go! Bohemoth grips Leon's throat tightly, but can't bring himself to do anymore than that, fighting the urge to do so with Jade still in the corner of his eye. Sensing weakness Leon, who is putting up no sort of defence, slaps Bohemoth's hand away. Still Bohemoth doesn't bite... ...UNTIL LEON SPITS RIGHT IN HIS FACE!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE Oh my God! Wiping the phlegm from his face, Bohemoth has finally had enough AND LAYS OUT LEON WITH A HUGE CLOTHESLINE!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE GOOD! Did Leon Rodez deserve that or what!? COACH He deserved it, but he was asking for it, literally! He got what he wanted! COLE Well they say be careful what you wish for and Leon may be about to add that to his list of dreary proverbs right now! Not done yet, Bohemoth drops to a knee and mounts Leon, delivering hard right hands to the head. With no signs of stopping! After at least a dozen punches, Bohemoth hauls Leon off the ringside floor and throws him face-first into the ringpost, sending Leon spilling to the floor again! Crawling towards the barricade, Leon is hardly on one knee before Bohemoth sprints towards him and delivers a FACEWASH KICK, smashing Leon's face into the barrier!! COLE This is getting ugly in a hurry! COACH Well Bohemoth better enjoy this while it lasts, because he'll be regretting it for a long time to come! Dragging Leon's lifeless body back up, Bohemoth props him against the barricade while he smashes him with more right hands. Leon is slumped all the way down to his knees, Bohemoth then grabbing Leon's head and slamming it back against the barricade! And again! Bohemoth then just hauls Leon right across the arena floor with a throw, so forceful Leon does at least two full rolls. COLE Bohemoth letting out weeks of pent up rage. Bohemoth drags Leon back up again... *THUD!* ...bouncing his head off of the announce table! *THUD!* ...and a second time! Sending bodies scurrying, Bohemoth then grabs a steel chair... *CRACK!* ...AND DROPS LEON WITH A SHOT TO THE HEAD!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth throws the chair away, breathing heavily in his furious state. But just when he seems to be done, he grabs hold of Leon's shirt and begins to drag him up again. COLE Well I hope it was worth it, Leon. COACH I could say the same to Bohemoth. COLE ...right now, I think we better get the hell out of here! Scooping Leon up in his arms, Bohemoth glares out. And positioned on the floor, he turns to Sofa Central before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN ONTO THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The table doesn't break and barely gives, leaving Leon damn near bent in half over the front of it, completely wrecked. Bohemoth stands over him and grabs onto the shirt again, ready to do even more damage. When suddenly, a hand grabs his arm. Turning around, Bo finds Jade, sobbing and pleading with him to stop. Bohemoth looks at her for a few seconds and seems to calm. But then, he looks back at Leon... and drags him off the table again, to a monster cheer from the crowd!! He sets Leon up for a Powerbomb, ignoring Jade's pleas as he takes Leon up... *KERAAAASSSHHHH!!!* ....AND DRIVES HIM RIGHT THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE AT THE SECOND TIME OF ASKING!!!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Referees and officials are too late to stop Bohemoth and they flock out to make sure he goes no further, as well as to check on Leon. And among them is Jade, climbing over the table wreckage and kneeling at her uncle's side distraught. Bohemoth is backed up by the officials, with other officials waving for help. The Meterosexual Monster finally starts to calm, not listening to the referees telling him to leave, but definately when Jade starts to scream at him to "GO AWAY!". It's only when Jade yells "YOU PROMISED NOT TO DO THIS!" that realisation suddenly sinks in to Bohemoth at what he's just done and his hands raise to his head. His attempts to apologise just earn him more shouts to "GO AWAY" though and Bohemoth eventually listens, now angry at himself as he's tracked by referees while marching to the back, passing a stretcher being wheeled to ringside. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" With Jade looking on in concern, Leon is tended to and placed on the stretcher, officials picking through the wreckage of the announce table to get to him. As Leon is transfered onto the stretcher, the crowd show their compassion for his fate by booing him. Jade grips onto Leon's hand and follows along with the stretcher as it's wheeled towards the back. And despite the pain, despite the punishment, and despite the booing crowd... somehow, some way... as the stretcher passes the camera, a pained [i]smile[/i] can be seen on Leon's face.

Backstage, Bohemoth is looking cool and crisp as ever as he walks through the hallways. Raising his orange tinted sunglasses in a greeting to one member of staff, Bo ducks right and enters his locker room... and freezes. Because there, in front of him, lies a pile of shredded fabric. Arms and pockets of what were clearly suits, torn and ripped to pieces in the middle of his locker room. Bohemoth kneels down and picks up a few of the pieces, examining them as if he doesn't believe what he's seeing, before angrily throwing them aside and marching right back out of the room in a rage. COLE Oh wow. Somebody has gotten into Bohemoth's clothing, which is tantamount to a death warrant! And no prizes for guessing who's likely to be behind it. COACH Maybe it was moths? I hear they're pretty bad in Conneticut. COLE I think we both know who's responsible and more importantly, I think Bohemoth knows.

TSM (Best Bet)

[COLOR=red]*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*[/COLOR] "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois... weighing two hundred, ten pounds. The host of Chicago radio's weekly "Love Line" and one half of THE LOVE DOCTORS... DOCTOR SSSTTEEEEEEVVVEEEEEENN... PPIIIIIIIIIIGGLLLLEEEEEYYYYYY!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The ladies manage to hide their disappointment as Pigley doesn't treat them to his strip-tease act on the way to the ring, keeping his broadcast standards high as he slides into the ring. COLE Dr. Pigley, branching out with a successful radio career but looking for a big boost to his wrestling career here tonight in singles action. "You try to play cool Like you just don't care But soon I'll be playin' in your underwear Givin' me all that I desire 'Cos down with me I'm taking you higher" With the sound of another siren, "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Warren Miller version)" by Weezer hits and out walks James Blonde, flanked by who I'm sure [i]he[/i] considers to be the greatest man that ever lived, Landon Maddix, backing him up. BUFFER And his opponent. Being accompanied to the ring by the leader of Cucaracha Internacional, LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX! He hails from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... weighing two hundred, eight pounds... "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJJAAAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEESSSS... BBLLLLLLOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Blonde stops halfway up the ring steps and looks out into the crowd, flicking his hair back in dramatic timing with the high-pitched "OH BABY". Which is very masculine. Blonde enters the ring with a Landon-esque spin and points out at his mentor with pride overflowing from him before posing for the hard camera. COLE From what I hear, James has been in an [i]excellent[/i] mood all week, ever since Todd Cortez lost the OAOAST United States Championship. And tonight, James looking to put himself right in the US Title hunt to further try and assert himself as Landon's 'golden boy' in Cucaracha Internacional. Landon sets up at Sofa Central, as in the ring Blonde removes his trendsetting jacket, revealing his retro long, flower pattern wrestling tights for the night. COLE Has Blonde been routing around in Jesse "The Body" Ventura's wardrobe? Good lord! *DINGDINGDING!* As the bell sounds Blonde circles around with a big smile on his face. He offers Pigley a handshake, only to pull away at the last second wagging his finger. COLE And Landon Maddix joining us here at ringside, very interested I'm sure in how your man fares tonight. MADDIX Well I'm not too concerned over James, I know he's got this one in the bag tonight. I think we're going to see some tossed salad and some scrambled eggs before this one is over tonight. That's a Frasier reference by the way. COLE Because he's got a radio show, got it. MADDIX What I'm concerned with is, why was this match made in the first place? Another singles match? Week after week, I've got guys challenging for titles, defending titles, in ladder matches around titles. The only title I'm interested in is the title of the most dominant unit in the OAOAST and I'm begging our esteemed leader Josie Baker to give us an eight man tag match like I've been asking for, to prove that. Blonde and Pigley lock up and Blonde takes control with a side headlock. After looking for a way out, Pigley shoots Blonde off, but gets knocked down with a shoulder tackle. The Trendsetter preens before hitting the ropes again and hurdling over Pigley. To his feet, Pigley leapfrogs Blonde on the rebound. Dropdown. And another leapfrog. Another dropdown. And another leapfrog. Blonde slams on the brakes out of sheer frustration and asks Pigley what he's doing, earning him a headscissors takedown from the Doctor! COLE Pigley giving Blonde the run-around right there. Blonde picks himself up in a corner and Pigley runs in, looking for a monkey flip... but Blonde CARTWHEELS out of it! BLONDE WOOOOOOOOOOO! Please with himself, Blonde turns around and gets caught with an armdrag! COLE Haha, and again! MADDIX Do you always laugh when my guys are on the defensive? COLE Not always. Caught in an armbar Blonde climbs back to his feet and breaks free by kneeing Pigley in the midsection. Blonde delivers a couple of right hands, then sends Pigley to the ropes. An early duck of the head puts Blonde in a bad position, Pigley putting on the brakes and pulling him into a standing headscissors, but JB suddenly stands up. Holding Pigley on his shoulders Blonde takes a moment to wag his finger. Which allows Pigley to push off the small of Blonde's back and come around with another headscissors takeover!! COLE Wow, what a reversal that was from Pigley! The Doctor goes for a pin on Blonde... 1... 2... Kickout. Blonde crawls away on his knees, trying to get a timeout. Pigley is eager to stay on the attack and gets lured in, Blonde suddenly reaching out and dragging Pigley face-first into the middle turnbuckle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX That'll give you a face for radio. Stomping Pigley down in the corner, JB realises he has things going his way finally so he has chance to give a thumbs up to Landon. MADDIX 'Atta boy James. See, that's what I'm talking about. Unity. Loyalty. Blonde executes a snap suplex and covers... 1... 2... No! Driving the point of his elbow into Pigley's shoulder a couple of times, Blonde pulls up the arm and locks it up beside Pigley's head. COLE While you're here Landon, can I ask you about this situation between Todd Cortez and the newcomer Tommy G? MADDIX That's Todd's business, I don't want to interfere in his personal business like that. COLE Oh, of course. Pigley starts to fight back to his feet and out of the armbar, using his free arm to punch Blonde in the gut. Pigley goes to hit the ropes, but Blonde reaches out and grabs the waistband of Pigley's tights, pulling him backwards as he hits the ropes instead, delivering a clothesline. Cover by Blonde... 1... 2... No! Whipping Pigley to the corner, Blonde follows up with a clothesline. He points out to Landon and he hooks Pigley up for the bulldog, which costs him as Pigley counters by shoving Blonde sternum first into the turnbuckles! As Blonde staggers out, Pigley springs to the middle rope and twists back over Blonde's head with a flying sunset flip... 1... 2... NO! COLE Great move there by Pigley, the flying Doctor we might have to start calling him! Blonde quickly cuts Pigley off with a knee and calling for the finish, he locks on the cobra clutch. Realising he's in trouble Pigley backpedals and forces Blonde into the corner and for a break of the hold. Once Blonde lets go, Pigley then catches him in the jaw with an elbow. MADDIX How about the cheating Doctor? What kind of a clean break is that? With Blonde dazed, Pigley hooks him up and goes to pull the plug with the FLATLINER... but Blonde hangs onto the ropes and Pigley snaps into the canvas! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MADDIX Ah-ha! Very resourceful. COLE Blonde using his surroundings to his advantage and now, maybe again as he heads up top. Climbing the turnbuckles, the Canadian gives the crowd a good look before he comes off the top, catching Pigley in the side of the head with a flying knee!! COLE The Brand Labelling, slapped onto Dr. Pigley! Blonde waits for Pigley to get back up again, putting the cobra clutch on and this time scoring with the legsweep, ILLEGALLY BLONDE! Not bothering to hook the leg, Blonde forces Pigley down while toying with his hair... COLE And that's going to do it. 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* MADDIX Just like I told you. And Josie, you know what we want, quit holding out on Internacional demands. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... JJAAAMMMMEEEEESSS... BLLLLOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Leaving ringside, Landon enters the ring to congratulate his man, which means more to Blonde than the win itself or the winner's share of the purse. With a beaming smile James' hand is raised by Landon.

O'Hara can go in, I'll have his new stats up by the time his match rolls around.

Leon Bohemoth Biff Cortez (TBC) Also, Zack will probably want in, also TBC. More if needed, I'll let Tony sign off on tag division guys.

OAOAST Women's Title Morgan Nerdly © vs. Jade Rodez-Duncan James Blonde vs. Dr. Steven Pigley Other stuff.

Bohemoth vs. Leon Rodez

COLE Two weeks ago, after regaining and then losing the OAOAST World Title in the space of 5 minutes, Leon Rodez was in a dejected and callous mood. And among those who felt the wrath of that mood was his own niece, Jade Rodez-Duncan... [QUOTE=OAOAST HeldDOWN, 6/6]Leon trails off and his head sinks down into his shoulders. The reason being the appearance of Jade Rodez-Duncan, wearing a worried expression on her face. She kneels down next to her uncle, who flinches wishing she wasn't so close. JADE We need to talk. LEON No we don't. JADE Yes... yes we do Leon. This isn't right and I can't bear seeing you like this anymore, you have to talk to somebody about this. You're depressed and you need... LEON I don't need to talk. Least of all to you. You're the absolute [i]last[/i] person I want to see right now, so why don't you just leave me alone? JADE Because I'm worried about you! Leon slowly looks up and chuckles under his breath. LEON Why the sudden change of heart? JADE What... Leon, please, stop this... LEON Why don't you just run along and go celebrate with Mommy? That's where you'd rather be. It's where you've been the past year, right? You didn't care about me then. I don't need you pretending to give a damn about me now, just to sooth your conscience. Standing up, Leon walks off and leaves his niece behind close to tears.[/QUOTE] COLE Well one man who took exception to that was Bohemoth, former friend of and In Crowd member with Leon. He set out to confront Leon... until Jade intervened... [QUOTE=OAOAST HeldDOWN, 6/6]In the hallways of the arena Jade Rodez-Duncan sits close to tears, being comforted by her burly boyfriend, Bohemoth. JADE I just hate seeing him so... so hurt and so broken up. I didn't go there for my sake, I went for him, honest. I just can't believe he'd [i]think[/i] that about me. BOHEMOTH I know, I know. I'm gonna go sort him out. As Bo starts to march off, Jade jumps out of her seat and holds her arm out in his path to stop him. JADE NO! BOHEMOTH Jade, he needs sorting out. He can't talk the way he did to you and get away with it, he needs some sense beating into him. JADE No, please Bo, don't. He doesn't know what he's saying at the moment, he's just angry and he's suffering. This isn't Leon, it's just not him. It's not his fault. He needs our help. He doesn't need anymore problems. Please, don't do anything. Relenting, Bo stands down. BOHEMOTH Fine. But something's gotta be said. First Zack and now you, it ain't right and you know it. I need to have it out with him sooner or later. JADE Promise me you won't hurt him. BOHEMOTH Listen, I can't promise anything. JADE You've got to. You don't understand, what we've got is one thing but... he's my family. Tell me you understand. A little evasive Bo seems to shrug, but Jade is insistant and makes Bo look her in the eyes. JADE If you love me, you'll promise not to hurt him. After a few seconds eye to eye, Bohemoth finally gives in and pecks Jade on the cheek. BOHEMOTH Fine. JADE Thank you. Bohemoth wraps a comforting arm around Jade shoulder and walks her off, still not looking completely convinced.[/QUOTE] COLE Which all lead us to last week in Tokyo, Japan and a tense showdown. Bohemoth DID infact get some things off of his chest, confronting Leon moments after his victory over the bigman Jumbo. However it soon became clear that Leon didn't care what Bohemoth had to say. Infact, he seemed more intent on getting something else out of Bohemoth. Something more physical... [QUOTE=OAOAST HeldDOWN, 6/12]As Bohemoth gets the microphone, Leon doesn't bother to wait around to hear what he has to say and starts to leave, which obviously doesn't sit well. BOHEMOTH HEY! Don't you go anywhere man, because I've got something to say! Stopping halfway through the ropes, Leon slowly steps back inside, still not giving Bohemoth the courtesy of any eye contact. BOHEMOTH You know, I don't know what the hell is going on in your head lately. I don't know what's happening, to make you turn your back on Zack and on me the way you have. That's fine. I'm sure you've got your reasons, crazy as they might be. But I draw the line when you start going around and taking all this crap out on other people, innocent people. Especially when those people include Jade. Leon finally looks over at Bohemoth at the mention of Jade's name, stood in a corner. BOHEMOTH Oh yeah. She told me what happened last week. And I'm sure as hell not going to sit back and accept that. I mean, come on man... that's your [i]niece[/i]. And you feel you can talk to her the way you did? Big man all of a sudden, taking your anger out on people who aren't gonna fight back. Well guess what, family or no family, when you mess with Jade, you mess with me. So if you've got something to say, how about you say it to my face if you've got the guts? Huh? How 'bout that? Glancing up, Leon's face shows the hint of a smile as he takes the microphone away from Bohemoth, daring enough to stand right in his face as asked. LEON You're right about one thing. Jade [i]is[/i] my family. Which is why I think you aren't going to do a damn thing to me. Raising his eyebrows as if to say "oh yeah?", Bohemoth sure looks ready to do something. Until Leon laughs under his breath. LEON You know what, 'Bo', save the tough man act. You don't scare me. Not one bit. The fact is, you're pathetic. Just like I once was. Look at you. All angry, pent up, on somebody's else's behalf. Always somebody's else's man. Standing in Zack's shadow, just like I was. Before that, standing in Wright's shadow. And now, fighting your girlfriend's battles. I always second guessed whether you really had a brain of your own in that head of yours and I guess we're finding out now, you don't. Well, I do have a mind of my own now. And my mind is telling me things that it should have months ago. If you, or Zack, or Jade don't like it, that's too bad. Sometimes you need to hear those things you don't want to listen to. I mean, we could go into the real story behind why a jacked up 32 year old man is sleeping with a tiny 19 year old girl and what that says about him... Bohemoth's eyes widen, about ready to kill after that cheapshot. But somehow, he doesn't. LEON ...but the fact is, you aren't worth a second of my time. I don't owe you an explanation. I don't owe you any gratitude. And I don't owe you an apology. Leon turns his back on Bohemoth and goes to walk off, but stops, looking over his shoulder. LEON If you've got a problem with that, then go ahead and do your worst. Leaving himself wide open to a sneak attack Leon stands and waits for Bohemoth to make a move. Those in the crowd that understand what's going on urge Bohemoth to take Leon out. But Bohemoth, strangely, can't bring himself to attack Leon and just stands fuming, glaring a hole in the back of his head. LEON That's what I thought. Throwing the microphone back at Bohemoth's feet Leon leaves the ring, a contemptful look on his face as he walks off. Bohemoth stands in the middle of the ring still seething as he watches Leon leave. COACH Wow. Leon called Bo's bluff... and he's walking away in one piece.[/QUOTE] COLE Bohemoth kept his word and we understand that right now, Leon Rodez is standing by backstage ready to talk to us... We cut to split-screen, finding a darkened space where Leon stands miserably staring down at the floor. Boos sound out in the arena, whether Leon can hear them or not isn't clear as they have no effect. COLE ...and Leon, we've just seen the confrontation between yourself and Bohemoth that took place last week. Now it seemed to me that you were trying to goad Bohemoth into attacking you. And later that night, we heard you telling Jade, you were privy to that conversation she and Bo had and that Bohemoth would "break his promise". Are you really risking infuriating The Monster and putting yourself on the wrong end of his anger to try and prove a point to Jade? LEON Well... that really doesn't matter now, does it? Because if Bohemoth really [i]loves[/i] Jade like he says, he won't lay a finger on me. A faintest hint of a smile can be seen as Leon lowers his head. LEON Of course... if it turns that it's all a lie, that would be a shame. It would be a bad thing to happen to such a [i]good[/i] person like Jade, don't you agree? It's just lucky that bad things don't happen to good people. COLE Well, we understand from OAOAST upper management that a contract has been drawn up for a match between yourself and Bohemoth at The Great Angle Bash, by request. So far, the match hasn't been signed, but I'm guessing you're behind this request? LEON Let me make this as simple as possible. Sooner or later, Bohemoth [i]will[/i] break that promise that he made. No matter how much he insists that he has Jade's best interests in mind. Sooner or later, he will hurt me. And I don't want to get hurt, but I'm resigned to the fact, because if it's something I don't want, you can be sure it'll happen to me. So why the cherade? Why pretend like it won't happen? Why not just get it over with? Leon wipes a hand across his face. LEON Jade needs to realise a couple of things. Things I've realised. She's naive. She still sees the world as this beautiful miracle, she's so full of positivity. She needs to see the world for the cruel, harsh, unforgiving struggle that it really is. And by finding out that the man she believes in won't keep such an important promise, she'll find that out. Because the simple fact is... blood is thicker than water. No matter what Bohemoth says, no matter how many times he says it, he doesn't have her best interests in mind like I do. She is my flesh and my blood. When tested, blood is thicker than water. And the bond that ties me and Jade is a bond that will never break. The bond that ties her and Bohemoth is fragile. It's not built to last. It's only a matter of time... before it snaps. And when it does, I will be there for Jade. And she'll finally understand where I'm coming from and what I'm feeling. Leon raises his eyebrows. LEON Of course, if I'm wrong, Bohemoth won't lay a finger on me and he won't sign that contract to wrestle me at The Great Angle Bash. Shaking his head, that faint smile appears again. LEON I guess we'll see, won't we? COLE Well, uhm, Leon we thank you for joining us. No response from Leon as we go to full screen. COLE That was very ominous, wouldn't you agree? COACH Bohemoth's a hothead. That's what's ominous to me. You think he won't lose his cool and go after Leon? I know where I'd be putting my money. COLE If Leon is as manipulative and scheming as he seems, I'm afraid you may well be right.

*INDY WORKRATE~!* AJ offers natural athleticism. I don't think a clash with Sydal would be a big problem, AJ's more of an explosive athlete than a high flier. Trouble is, he's not a great talker so that'd work against him. Daniels... Curry Man would be good, that's about it. If Joe came in, he'd have to fill Umaga's role. But I don't see him having any success as a regular Samoan dude who likes to wrestle and I doubt Joe would want to play the stereotypical Samoan. Besides that, if WWE weren't interested in Takeshi Morishima for weight issues, they wouldn't be with Joe. The main guy backing him to get a contract was Foley, so that's another mark against him. Joe needs to go back to the indies where his act is more appreciated, not WWE. I'd love to see The Briscoes in WWE. They'd get mega over just on crazy redneck promos. Their wrestling style is never going to work in WWE though. So saying that, Claudio and Kenny King.

"Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana begins to waft through the arena to a loud chorus of boos. And little wonder. Big smiles on their faces, Logan and Synth appear waving pieces of paper, which a closer camera shot shows us are "MISSING PERSON" posters with Jamie O'Hara's face on them and a massive $5 reward for any information. The Heavenly Rockers try to hand out their fliers, with little success, on their way to the ring with Abdullah, in ring gear, and Holly behind. BUFFER The following contest is a three on two Handicap Match, set for one fall. Introducing team number one. Accompanied to the ring by HOLLY! First, the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR... LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HHHEEEEEEEAAAAAVVVEEEEENNLLLLYYYYYYYY... RRRRRRROOOOOOOCCKKEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! And their tag team partner for the night, "THE SPEAKER FOR THE PROPHETS", ladies and gentlemen ABDULLAH AABBIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRR... NNEEERRRRRDDLLLLYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Entering the ring, Logan breaks out into air guitar while Synth takes a microphone. SYNTH LONDON ENGLAAAAAAAANNDD!!! Synth raises the microphone high in the air and bangs his head, rocking out to... boos. Logan takes the microphone from him with a smug smile on his face. LOGAN Right now we wanna take it down a notch and get serious for a lil' minute. See, we'v... HEY, SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Ever the hothead, Logan is calmed down by his more spiritual partners as the crowd's heckling gets to him. LOGAN See, we've been in England for a few days now and we're worried. We're real worried. We've looked high and low, in every club, every bar, every stadium we've been to. And [i]#we stiiiilll... haven't found... who we're lookin' fooorrrr#[/i]!! And... well, we got so worried, we eventually had to file a missing person's report! Has anybody in this arena seen Jamie O'Hara? COLE Oh come on. LOGAN Last seen walking towards obscurity with his hands in those ridiculously deep pockets of his! His only two friends in the world are desperately waiting for your information. So we encourage you to search your gutters and your homeless shelters and if you know of his whereabouts, please, laugh in his face for us. Thank you! The already hostile crowd get even further on The Heavenly Rockers' backs as they laugh it up at the expense of their countryman. The noise in the arena turns to cheers when "Like The Angel" by Rise Against powers out. Jogging onto the stage, The Christ Air Express glare at their opponents for a few seconds, before setting off their blue and orange pyro rockets with the leaping double high-five. BUFFER And their opponents... from Edmonton, Alberta Canada! Accompanied to the ring by MELODY NERDLY! Total combined weight, three hundred and seventy pounds... the team of MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Making a determined walk to the ring, MARV and MEL don't rush in, realising they're outnumbered. COLE I didn't think it were possible, but The Heavenly Rockers have somehow made themselves less popular than they arrived here in London. And it's mainly they're doing which means MARV and MEL don't have their buddy Jamie to call on, here in his home country of England. COACH Oh yes, it's [i]aaalll[/i] Logan and Synth's fault that he's in hiding, too ashamed to show his face. Nothing to do with poor self esteem or a lack of balls, it's all the nasty men's fault. Did you get picked on in school by any chance? COLE Why do people keep asking me that!? MARV and MEL enter the ring, as Melody catches up with her brothers and takes her place at ringside. *DINGDINGDING!* Melody tries to encourage her brothers despite the odds as MARV starts off with Logan. "LO - GAN SUCKS!" "LO - GAN SUCKS!" "LO - GAN SUCKS!" "LO - GAN SUCKS!" Riled up, Logan gets into it with the crowd. They lock up and Logan knees MARV in the gut, before measuring a right hand. MARV falls against the ropes and already confident, Logan does a twirl before he whips MARV to the ropes. Unfortunately for Logan, his twirling isn't over, as MARV flips him over with a flying headscissors! Still twirling, but now spinning out of control, Logan gets dropkicked, twice, sending him bailing to the outside. Synth comes in but suffers the same fate as MARV drops down, sending Synth into the path of a Missile Dropkick from MEL!! And Abdullah wisely bails out after thinking of coming in and being spotted by his brothers. "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE They may be a man down, but The Christ Air Express is still blasting along at top speed! THR and Abdullah regroup on the floor before Logan is sent back in. He asks for a test of strength, only to try and kick MARV in the gut... and gets CAUGHT! COLE Logan caught with his hand, or more accurately his foot, in the cookie jar! Reaching back MARV tags MEL and together they trip Logan up, holding one leg each and MAKING A WISH!! A quivering Logan rolls outside and Synth again rushes in, again unwisely as The CAE MAKE A WISH on him too! They turn to Abdullah, who again thinks twice about coming in. COLE Things not going the way of The Heavenly Rockers so far. COACH Well that's because MARV and MEL are doing what they always do, being the 'tag team specialists', two on ones. But eventually that two on one'll become two on three and we'll see how great they are then. Once they've recovered, The Heavenly Rockers return to the ring and Logan lets Synth take over. MARV brings in MEL and the new legal men lock up, Synth grabbing a side headlock and getting shot off into the ropes. A shoulder tackle knocks MEL down. MEL quickly flips over, forcing Synth up and over coming off the ropes. The slightly elder twin then leapfrogs Synth and turns it into a sunset flip as he comes down! COLE Tremendous body control! 1... 2... No! Synth sidesteps MEL and waits for him to come off the ropes, ducking his head. Coming to a stop, MEL pulls Synth up and tries to send him to the ropes instead. But a reversal from Synth sends MEL off, into dangerous territory where Abdullah lifts a knee into the small of his adopted brother's back! MEL quickly turns around but by that time Abdullah is a safe distance away and playing distraction while Logan comes around and guillotines MEL across the top rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Having kept the ref tied up, Synth rushes over and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Referee Charles Robinson has to put an agitated MARV out, allowing Logan and Synth to put the boots to MEL, one from the apron and one from the ring. COLE This is the numbers advantage you were talking about Coach, except instead of three on two, it's three on one. COACH Whatever, it's all good. Synth makes a tag to Logan to cover up their wrong-doing and the MACHO Macho Mann comes in off the top with a flying double axehandle on the trapped MEL. Another cover... 1... 2... No! Snapmared over, MEL is hit with a fistdrop before Logan goads MARV into the ring. That allows Synth and Abdullah to drop from the apron and with a leg a-piece, drag MEL GROIN FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST!! As MEL writhes in pain, Abdullah and Synth sink to their knees in solemn prayer. COLE Give me a break! How disingenuous can you get? Logan drags MEL out for another cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Now that MEL is suitably hurt and after a couple of elbows driven into the back of his neck, Abdullah is confident enough to ask for a tag. And he gets it, to a chorus of boos. COLE Sure, now that one of his adopted brothers is incapacitated, Abdullah will come in to add insult to injury. Abdullah, ring rusty after his transformation from bad wrestler to manager, walks around MEL and picks his spots with a couple of stomps. Raising his hands to the skies, he gives thanks for his stomping abilities. The moment MEL kicks out at him, Abdullah quickly heads for the hills though, tagging Synth in mid bailing from the ring. And Synth cuts MEL off from a tag with an elbow to the back of the head. COLE So much for Abdullah's worth in this match. COACH He probably just got an urgent message from one of his gods. COLE Yeah, something along the lines of "RUN!" Synth whips MEL to the ropes and hooks him down with a clothesline to put MEL back on the defensive. He goes for the pin... 1... 2... No. With a scoop and a slam, Synth places MEL where he wants him and starts to head to the top. When he gets there, he pulls down his goggles and prepares to fly. However, objects start flying at him, distracting him. He looks down at the arena floor to find Melody Nerdly, flicking PORK RINDS at him! COACH What is she doing with those out here!? COLE Mid-match snack I suppose. And Synth is freaking out, the convert vegetarian! Abdullah rushes around to confront his adopted sister, screaming at her use of "THE DEVIL FOOD". And he gets a pork rind flicked at him for his troubles! COACH Religious intolerance sure is funny. All this distraction allows MEL to recover and CROTCH Synth on the top turnbuckle!! In comes Logan to prevent MEL from tagging though, attacking him from behind. Logan works MEL over with clubbing blows before setting him up, looking for a Piledriver. MEL counters with a double leg trip though and with a slingshot, he send Logan to the corner, CAUSING HIM TO HEADBUTT SYNTH IN THE CROTCH!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE As if the first one wasn't bad enough. MEL quickly rolls and MAKES THE TAG, bringing in MARV! Leaping into the ring, MARV hits a running dropkick to the back of Logan, causing him to stagger out of the corner. Scaling the ropes MARV goes after Synth and after some forearms, he pulls him from the top with an armdrag, sending him tumbling RIGHT DOWN INTO LOGAN!! The Heavenly Rockers end up in a heap as MARV heads to the top rope looking to capitalise. COLE The tide has turned and MARV is looking to get high! COACH Do you have to make that joke every week? Waiting for Logan and Synth to pick themselves up, MARV soars with a Flying Crossbody, pinning both men down... 1... 2... Double kickout! MARV hits the ropes and ducks underneath a double clothesline... and then gets tripped up by Abdullah from the outside! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And again, the numbers game! The Heavenly Rockers quickly pick MARV back up and throw him to the ropes. A double hiptoss is flipped out of by MARV though. He elbows both opponents in the jaw, then bursts forward and dives through the ropes, WIPING OUT ABDULLAH WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" MEL slides into the ring and takes the fight to Logan, MARV eventually joining him to go after Synth. The CAE whip THR into the ropes and duck their heads for stereo backdrops, but both get caught in front facelocks! Synth and Logan look over at each other and get ready to deliver stereo Percussion... but MARV fights out of Synth's grip with bodyshots. He thrown an enziguri... which Synth ducks, only for LOGAN to take the kick to the back of the head! That allows MEL to backdrop Logan and escape. COLE A near escape for MARV and MEL. With Logan down, MEL dives at his partner MARV, who catches him in a wheelbarrow. As MEL pushes up, MARV throws his twin brother away, towards Synth who he catches by the head and hits a Front Lungblower, LANDING ON LOGAN WITH A SENTON IN THE PROCESS!!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! What a move that was! Both Logan and Synth clutch their chests as they're dragged towards corners by the brothers, who head up top. COLE And now MARV and MEL going up, looking to finish this one off by getting some Christ Air! MEL lines up Synth, MARV lining up Logan, ready to dive... ...but Abdullah appears and from the apron, he shoves MEL off the top and for a flip! COACH One down. Momentarily distracted, MARV recovers to take off with the Shooting Star Press... NOBODY HOME!! COACH Two down. Synth crawls over and he quickly slaps MARV in the Camel Clutch, while Abdullah stands and berates MARV right up in his face, despite referee Robinson insisting that he get out of the ring. COLE The referee has lost all control here, he needs to get people out of here. COACH You weren't complaining when MARV and MEL were doing their thing. COLE That was two on two and at that point, you can go by referee's discretion, but this is totally different. Shooing away the referee Abdullah continues to berate MARV, while Logan goes after MEL. Picking him up, Logan twirls the dreaded finger as he prepares to set MEL up for Percussion. Suddenly though, a figure jumps the barricade. To initial confusion, a masked figure. COACH Seriously, do we not have ANY security anymore!? The crowd suddenly rise to their feet as the masked figure scampers up the turnbuckles. And just as Logan sets MEL up in the front facelock, the masked person leaps off the top with a BLOCKBUSTER NECKBREAKER, all out of sight of the referee!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COACH WHAT IS THAT!? COLE Was that who I think it is!? COACH ...NO! MEL floats over on top of Logan and with the strangely familiar masked man staying out of sight, the referee turns around... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* MEL rolls out of the ring before Synth can get to him and as he and Abdullah freak out, The Christ Air Express escape with the win. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... THE CHRIST AAAAIIIIIIRRRRRRRR... EEEEXXXXPPRRRREEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The Christ Air Express catch up to their masked assistant in the aisle and it's HUGS ALL ROUND to roaring cheers from the London crowd, with Abdullah and Holly going mad in the ring. Melody, huffing and puffing, catches up with her half-bag of pork rinds to celebrate. COLE The munchies are catered for, the celebrations are on and The Christ Air Express are winners, thanks to... who we can only assume is Jamie O'Hara! COACH Of COURSE it's Jamie O'Hara! He can hide his face, but he can't hide those scrawny chicken legs and spaghetti arms! Thhat punk has no business being here... COLE Yes he does! COACH Not under a MASK he doesn't! The celebrations at getting one over on The Heavenly Rockers continue from the trio in the aisle, the London crowd certainly sure that the man under the mask is their fellow Brit. Abdullah seems sure too and rages at the referee to overturn the decision, but that's not going to happen and he's left to curse the name Jamie O'Hara, again.