Rawknight

Special IN CHARACTER predictions MAIN EVENT SINGLES MATCH WORLD TITLE BOUT "Deathwish" Danny Williams© vs Janus© CC: Janus. Damnit if you can't pick by ability, pick the guy who's 7 foot tall. N: I'll go with the big psychopath too. Janus is sexy. CC: Janus is SEXY? You're weird. N: And? CANADIAN DEATH MATCH BEST-OF-FIVE SERIES, MATCH FIVE OF FIVE Dace Night (2) vs "The Superior One" Tom Flesher (2) N: I like Dace. He bleeds well. CC: That doesn't help you win wrestling matches. Plus Flesher's great. N: I didn't say I was picking Dace. I just like the little wuss. CC: Yow am gettin a soft spot for Brummies yow am. IRON MAN MATCH USJL TITLE BOUT Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix© vs Alan Clark CC: Maddix with the magic. N: Maddix with a guitar shot. CC: Maddix with skill. N: Maddix with cheating. MASKED MAN MYSTERY MATCH FIVE WOUNDS GAUNTLET The Masked Man vs Aecas, David Blazenwing, Ace Lezaire, Insane Luchador and... Ebony? CC: OK SOMEONE has to beat the mask. I like Aecas to do it. N: There's nothing sexual about wrestling masks. No zips. CC: You ARE weird. LAST MAN STANDING Nathaniel Kibagami vs Toxxic CC: Nottingham pride, gotta go with Toxxie. N: I'd pick Toxxie. Toxxie is foxy. CC: Jet'd bitchslap you. N: If she's gonna join in, she has to learn to take bitchslaps not give them. CASINO FLOOR BRAWL TAG TEAM TITLES BOUT Hollywood Boulevard© vs Crow & "The Notorious" John Duran N: Hewwo cute ickle Cwowwie-wowwie. CC: OK now you're scaring me. N: Cwowwie was ickle and wuvwie. CC: Well I like Duran. So we'll go with them. CAGE MATCH CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT Johnny Dangerous© vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins CC: They won't need to test the cage for structural integrity. N: Why not? CC: Two of my favourite ceiling inspectors in the match. Johnny. N: Why? CC: No reason. SINGLES MATCH Munich vs Jay Dawg CC: I back JD. He brings the muay thai, and that's always good. N: Munich is a legend. CC: Munich is one vowel from a munch, and that's not a bad thing. N: You're aswarped as I am, admit it. CC: I still back JD. SINGLES MATCH Ced Ordonez vs Ryan Dustin N: B! B! B! B4U! CC: I didn't think you'd like J-pop. N: You don't think Chris, that's your problem. CC: I'm going to back Ryan. Split decision then. N: You're just difficult. CC: And you're not. N: I'm just always right. CC: Bloody women. N: Damn men. CC: Hah. Anyway have you got the briefcase ready? N: Yup. CC: Well let's get that flight and go watch the PPV in person. We have business to do.

Muay Thai Roundhouse Kick.. that's a transition move *grins* Having lost yet ANOTHER hard drive (fuckin' things) I can't respond with the dreaded shampoo spot from Va'aiga vs JD

I'm surprised Card and Said got on after Card superkicked Said out of existance - damn me for creating gimmicks I can't fuckin' write! Actually that's nitpicking for nitpicking's sake. WC's HOLT reports rule like 12" of 8th" marked shatterproof plastic.

Japanese Arm Drag...

*claims royalties for the chairshot bit* *plots and schemes*

The alternative explanation involved figure skating. Hmm my banner looks arse if you turn the brightness on your monitor up. Damn my dad's PC.

*collects $100 of royalties* Technicals and Artistics will always argue about other people's matches and miss the holes in their own. A well written match with bad wrestling logic should DRAW with a badly written match with fantastic flowing wrestling. And if you have tons of both you should win.

Dude you're not even a gym member... Go whip your wheel in your own facilites. *Puts a new gym bag on his expense account*

::just a way to kill some time i guess:: Question and Answer with Natasha The following interview is taken from AOL’s webchat service Q: OK This is a moderated webchat and it’s my pleasure to welcome the Gothic Diva herself, Natasha N: It’s a pleasure for you to see me here guys. Q: OK easy question first. What is your full name? N: It’s Natasha Fitzpatrick, but like most of the women in wrestling I choose to be known by my first name. Q: Marital Status? N: Happily single. It’s far more fun. Q: Ever thought about getting a boyfriend? N: I have had a few, but they bore me after a while. I’m sure I’ll settle down with the right person. Q: Ooh follow up question to that. What about Chris Card? N: As a boyfriend? Not gonna happen. Gentlemen and Chris prefer blondes. I’d like to emphasise the plural in Chris’ case. We fight enough about choice of women anyway. Q: Is it true that you like women as well as men then? N: Yes it is. I could explain in great detail, in fact I wi… Q: I’m sorry we seem to have lost Natasha there, but keep the questions coming. She’ll be back soon. Q: And here she is again… N: What the **** happened there? Oh great I can’t swear. **** that. Q: Ahem. Anyway another question. How did you meet Chris? N: We trained at the same gym. This was way before the Block was set up. I’m a trained martial artist and we decided to train together because I’m the only person with the balls to get his ass out of bed in the morning. He knows not to bitch me out. Q: Why? N: That’s between me and him. And an intimidated ring rat. And hot coffee. Q: For those who don’t know… what’s a ring rat? N: About half an hour’s good entertainment. Then you get another one. Umm… fans who get really close to the professionals. Q: OK. Why did you choose Kittie for your theme music when you’re a self confessed goth? N: There are no goths any more – I’m more Industrial anyway. I like the spirit in Kittie’s music, and all those who call themselves goths nowadays listen to metal anyway. Plus they won’t let me use Closer. Q: Why Closer? A: It’s my second favourite love song behind Stinkfist. Q: Who in the female locker room do you spend time with? N: None of them, really. I’d rather chill with the men on the roster. Jet’s good fun to chill with but she’s Toxxie’s other half so I can’t go out cruising with her. Unless he gets to watch, but that just limits us to women. Q: OK what about the men then? N: I just chill with the heel clique. Card and Toxxic mainly, King when he’s around, Tom Flesher and his ego, that mob. Q: What do you enjoy outside of wrestling? N: Partying, listening to heavy music, martial arts training. I’m not really a hobby sort of girl. I’ve got my motorbike but that’s just for travel socially. Nowadays I travel in King’s limos with Chris. Q: OK one last question, and it’s an interesting one. Who’s your perfect man. N: Trent Reznor. Suicidal, weak, frail and someone Courtney Love’s been through. That’s a seal of quality. Perfect woman is Brody Dalle – I could teach her the REAL way to be a bitch. Q: Umm right. That was quite enlightening. It’s been a pleasure to have you here. N: I knew it would be. Q: Natasha, thankyou.

I call promo

::For those who don't know, The Block III was my first JL promo:: Light breaks through the window of “The Block”, Chris Card’s world famous training centre and gym. Card arcs an effortless kick through the air, his shadow trailing across the wall in a graceful crescent. Grunting once to accentuate the exertion, Card fires out his palm heel into thin air, locking his arm tight at heart height. Card smiles to himself as he withdraws from the move favoured by his employer back into a tight fighting stance. Taking a long slow breath and inflating his lungs, Card draws his leg back into him before snapping off a vicious looking roundhouse kick at knee height before returning his leg to the previous position, coiled and ready to strike. Card grunts again, letting out a short breath each time as he fires off a second, third and fourth kick in rapid succession at thigh, waist and finally head height. Turning his gaze to the punchbag that hangs from the roof of his quiet, dark gymnasium Card dances gracefully across the floor, winding up a second spinning crescent kick and catching the bag firmly with his heel, sending it swinging violently in a sideways motion. Using the momentum to his advantage Card steps through and spins to face away from the bag, shooting out a fist behind him and catching the bag in mid swing with a vicious backfist strike. Composing himself and allowing the bag to briefly settle, Card takes a step away and swings his leg over, throwing his entire body weight into a sadistic spinning heel kick, landing in a forward roll timed perfectly to roll underneath the swing of the bag. Card stops himself after a second roll through and reverses his direction, rolling backwards and springing up into a double mule kick on the bag. Card smiles his cracked gravestone smile and backs away, watching the bag swing backwards and forwards as he back away towardws the door and casually flicks a towel onto his shoulder with one swift motion of his hand. Allowing a second ray of bright light to shine into the grey semi darkness, Card opens the door and calmly steps out of the room.

Va'aiga and HVT for obvious reasons Va'aiga and Wildchild - the other Haka Boy Va'a was a dready cruiserweight (Tana Umaga, Annie) Chris Card and Tom Flesher Chris Card and Toxxic for that nottingham connection... maybe with a heel Tryst as a third member of the stable.

*coughs* I'm about to read the card (cos I do still exist) Why reply first? Something to do with that subtitle *Winds up Lariatting arm*

Due to personal circumstances I'm unavailable for the forseeable future. I am going to return, however... you can't get rid of me that easily Will aka Chris Card

Read it again Mike. I'm not going out with a bang. I'm STAYING with a bang. Cards always been from Nottingham, he just lived in Canada. And noone ever asked what the voice sounded like so you never knew

Tod your ideal wrestling character IS yourself multiplied by 10,000, that's the whole POINT. And don't tell me you're wrong and your character is cooler than you cos YOU REFFED CHRIS MOTHERFUCKIN' DANIELS

Johnny. You should turn heel TODAY. No. Wait. W&D should turn heel. Wildchild, you've never played a heel and really LET GO, and if you did you'd be world champ by now. Johnny you'd rather be insulting people than cheering them up, you like to burn. if you like to burn play a heel. AmazingRAW: can i post that reality55check: Ahem. reality55check: Don't start flamewars. reality55check: Quote me as saying that, then post it. Crow you're another hardcore stoner *takes two tokes and passes* - Overuse of cannabis causes psychosis. Crow. Silent. Jay Dawg. Va'aiga. Va'aiga is a stoner? Good god. Myu book "The Zen Of Roleplaying" will be available in all stores run by comic book guy from the Simpsons published next march.

you do of course all realise that this is what your parents wanted you to become and SUBCONCIOUSLY named you these. I mean Walker George (Western Sherriff), Jefferson Williams (Sax Player) and Henry W. George (Old time rail baron) all hang up there Other presidents Wilson Ronald is another cowboy (Reagen) Earl James is VERY southern (Carter) Milhouse Richards sounds like a stockbroker (Nixon) Fitzgerland John is very Irish (Kennedy) umm... can I stop scaring myself? Or is 3 days without sleep kicking in?

Extra middle names turn into initials. I've sent this into the onion SO you're Richard P. Clayton And there's a Peter L.S. Joseph - he gets PLS! PLS! PLS! chanted at him... and it's a net abbreviaton... that's like DEEP. Just thank your lucky stars you dont have an extra Martin in there somewhere.....

This is my thread Jay Dawg. On my thread you take two tokes and you pass no matter HOW hardcore you are... Of course the joints are 10" long cocktails of solid and bud, made using my rolling mat. EDIT: And Superking Ultralights. No niccotine hit.

I speak my mind. Often I don't type it. Coyote Coy sucks. Wild West rules. Ejiro Rules. You just explained why AND backed me up. \m/, right Z?

Judge. You're a republican. you buttfuck the poor up the ass and fool them with tax cuts and the media. You blow up foreigners to make money for the arms industry. You screw over anyone who you can to make money for yourselves and you're PROUD OF IT. Your'e the party of nepotism - only in America could a C grade student make president cos his daddy was already. You're the party of the rich (the democrats are the party of the people who WANT to be rich and have a semi clear conscience - there is no party of anyone else) You're the best damn natural heel in the federation. EDIT: If you can spot the tautology, you have no business voting for monkey boy.

I refer the good gentleman to my earlier response And no WC. I don't lit weights, but i'm going to start because a scary jamaican dude has offered for me to go down the gym with him and his friends. Kibs, Crow... I just said scary jamaican dude. you know who that means.

My arms are skinny because i put on a LOT of weight, then lost it all again, and when you lose weight it comes off the beer gut last.

I ain't going anywhere man. I just ain't writing matches regularly ever again. Oh note that little word regularly. If I NEED to own your asses I will.