bob_barron

80-81 I think is supposed to be the worst one ever. They ended the season early and fired everyone but Eddie and Joe it was so bad. That was the year Charles Rocket said a naughty word. 85-86 is another bad season. Lorne hired a bunch of young actors and it just tanked. 94-95 is the first year without Hartman and it shows. It's not as bad as some people say but there are some horrificly bad episodes there. Paul Reiser for one. We're only 4 episodes in and this is the worst episode so far. No reason to get concerned. There was too much mention of Ashlee. Must you rub Raise Your Voice's collasall failure in my face? IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE. And when LL launches a successful clothing line- we'll talk. The Howard Stern joke. No parody this week. Good call.

SNL Review- Kate Winslet/Eminem SNL Moment #17: 17. Jim Carrey jumps on stage and plays the guitar…with his leg Thanks to Weekend Update (moment #20) the Christopher Walken/Foo Fighters show had already been pretty memorable. After WU the show sputtered for a bit. The Foo Fighters performed ‘All My Life’ and it was pretty good even though the band had done better. Will Ferrell’s return unfortunately meant we had to be subjected to the Luvahs- a recurring character of his that I reviled. The Foo Fighters prepared to take the stage again and just like Weekend Update- the viewer was prepared to be shocked again. Moments like these are why people love SNL- the live anything can happen spontaneity as never been more evident then it was here. THE MOMENT- The Foo Fighters start playing ‘Times Like This’ and it’s a really kickass loud rocking version of the song. Considering how late it is- it’s refreshing to see a band play loud at 12:45 for once. It’s a good performance of a good song nothing more. Then Dave Grohl stops singing for a second and just starts playing the guitar. The tempo of the song starts picking up and now everyone is about to rock out. Out of nowhere a guy walks on stage, seemingly unrecognised. He lifts his leg up in the air, it takes a few seconds but then we realise: Holy fuck- that’s JIM CARREY!!!! Jim Carrey gets a bad ass expression as he starts playing air guitar with his leg. The crowd is in stunned silence, as the viewer at home just stars blank at the screen wondering what the hell is going on. This had not been announced or speculated at all. The viewer is totally surprised. Dave Grohl continues to sing and play ‘Times Like This’ seemingly oblivious to the fact that the funniest man in America is playing air guitar right next to him. The other guitarist mouths ‘Hey Jim’, has a big grin on his face and keeps playing. Carrey does a big finish, dives off screen and then headbangs his way off camera. The Foo Fighters keep playing like nothing has happened while everyone sits there scratching their head. A minute later the songs ends. Grohl says “Thanks Jim” and the crowd gives them a huge ovation- still in shock over whether Jim Carrey of all people just showed up. Grohl and the rest of the Foo Fighters have been grins on their faces- since they know they had one of the coolest live performances ever. My Birthday is Coming Up!- Yes, loyal and faithful reader- my 20th birthday is coming up. Do you read my 6 page tales of meeting Hilary Duff or my long winded Weekend Update rants or chuckle at my borderline homosexual obsession with Seth Meyers and think: Hey I’d like to buy this guy something for his birthday! Well now you can: http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/registry...d=3KQ1O3J0CCIYY Go ahead- don’t be shy. Sports Report- Saints- They can’t beat the Cardinals or Bucs but they can beat Kerry ‘Sucks’ Collins. Good enough for me- as a win is a win. They’re going into the buy week 3-4. Not an enviable position to be in at all, but they play in a relatively weak division and with a couple of wins here and there they could easily make a run for the top. Congratulations to Red Sox fans for finally getting to see their team win a title. I’ll probably talk about this in my finale review. Mailbag!!!!!!!- (This wasn’t a letter written about my reviews but I still found it funny) Dear Folks: Just days to the election...announcing a relatively new website: Christians for Kerry/Christians against Bush http://mnl_1221.tripod.com/kerrybush.html Purpose: --To dispel the myth that Republican equals Christian and Christian equals Republican. --To encourage Christians to vote their conscience and not follow the accepted party line. --To show left-leaners that Jesus is not necessarily against them or their causes. --To encourage right-leaning Christians to accept left-leaning Christians as brothers and sisters--and vice-versa. --Oh--and to get George W. Bush out of office! If you've been in contact with me in the recent past, you may know about this website already. In any case, I invite you to check out this website and its links, and to sign my guestbook! E-mail is welcome, too. Christians for Kerry/Christians against Bush http://mnl_1221.tripod.com/kerrybush.html Thank you, and God bless you. Jesus loves you-- yes, YOU! Peace, Melanie N. Lee [email protected] I’m actually a Jew (well half) who voted for Bush- so I don’t think I fit into either category the email was aiming for. Oh well. Wanna be in the mailbag?????? Email me at [email protected] And now the review… Cold Opening Cast- Chris Parnell, Seth Meyers Thoughts- Well it was nice to Parnell get to do Brokaw one last time before he retires- I always thought it was a very good impression. And congratulations to Seth. Not only does he possibly get the next President of the United States- he gets the biggest mass murderer in American history as well. Kudos Seth- I knew that talent would pay off. While like other cold openings this went on a tad too long it did have the added bonus of JIM DOWNEY translating! A lot of the lines were great and I loved Bin Laden pointing out the problems in the Bush and Kerry campaigns. I was waiting for them to mock Ashlee and they did it with a vengeance. Good job SNL- Bin Laden’s comments on acid reflux disease was awesome. The icing on the yummy cake was Bin Laden saying he would advocate beating the crap out of Theresa Heinz Kerry. That was hilarious. Another great cold opening and kudos to Seth for getting to say LFNYISN. **** Monologue Cast- Kate Winslet Thoughts- We established the fact that yes indeed, Ashlee Simpson was lip synching last week in the cold opening. No need to rehash it again especially when this monologue had no point to it. I’m happy for Winslet that she can sing, tap dance and lose a fair amount of weight but it doesn’t translate into comedy. While she was singing I kept waiting for the joke, the interruption, the Kevin Spacey like subtitles, or something but it never came. I hate monologues that. If Winslet was going to show off some talents she could’ve shown off her talent for wiggling her crotch like in Eternal Sunshine. Just saying. The monologues have been pretty weak so far this year. ½* Rap Night Cast- Winslet, Horatio Sanz, Kenan Thompson Thoughts- I didn’t even know Kenan was still on this show but I’m glad he still is. This was very hit and miss. The interplay between Kenan and Horatio was pretty funny and I really liked the duet with Norah Jones and the fat guy. The skit was just way too long and a lot of Horatio’s jokes fell completely flat. Apparently they cut out some really funny bits about chicken wings. That’s a shame. This had its moments but just didn’t work too well in the end. **1/4 Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein Cast- Winslet, Parnell, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Fred Armisen Thoughts- I think SNL can make any holiday, movie, or piece of pop culture and make it into having to do with homosexuals. That takes a special talent or a total lack of creative ideas. Take your pick. Seriously- the best thing someone can come up with is: Hey- what if Frankenstein was gay? Chris Parnell was really funny as Igor and I laughed at a few jokes but this was pretty bad overall. Fred tried hard (the guy is REALLY good at being gay) but they had absolutely nothing to work with because of the lame premise and set-up. Again- you have Kate Winslet, a pretty acclaimed actress with a great range, and you reduce her to turning Frankenstein into a homo. Skits like these are for when you have Andy Roddick or Jeff Gordon hosting. *1/2 TV Funhouse Thoughts- Smigel has done Fun with Real Audio for about 8 years now and it’s never really been that funny. He needs to go back to offending people and making the viewer squirm. An interesting idea for a cartoon but it took them way too long to do anything with it. John McCain sitting in his room practising a speech is not really compelling TV. I did really like the part where Bush kept saying ‘mixed messages’ and ‘fuzzy math’ since fuzzy math was my favourite Bush word of the 2000 Campaign. John McCain having his Vietnam flashback and singing in his underwear was just really weird. Hopefully Smigel can offend again since after 8 years- Fun with Real Audio doesn’t work. ** Kerry and Clinton Cast- Meyers, Will Forte, Darrell Hammond, Poehler, Rudolph, Armisen, Rob Riggle, Thompson Thoughts- Darrell’s Clinton was lacking something this week. It was Darrell’s Clinton so it was still funny but his voice seemed off and the whole thing seemed to fall a little flat. Seth’s John Kerry was very good as usual and I’m starting to warm up a tad to Maya’s Theresa Heinz Kerry. Will and Kenan were really funny as Bruce and Clarence Clemmons and helped make up for Darrell’s Clinton not being up to its usual awesome self. And the gag about Clinton overshadowing Kerry is funny because it’s true. This was good but disappointing in a way. I mean anytime you get Clinton and Kerry in a skit you should be hitting **** easy but this was just flat for some reason. Still good stuff from the masters though. *** Eminem “Mosh” Thoughts- Kudos to Eminem for lip-synching or whatever the heck he was doing and not even trying to hide it. I had never heard this song before but Eminem did a great performance. The passion and energy he brought to the song was awesome and even though I disagreed with a lot of what he was saying- I understood the message he was trying to get out. Eminem is at his best when it’s just him rapping about his feelings or what he thinks- and not doing gimmicky joke songs. This was easily the best musical performance of the year so far and I’m really looking forward to his new CD. ***1/2 Weekend Update Cast- Jesus, Tina Fey, Poehler, Meyers, Forte, Armisen, Sanz Thoughts- Okay- here’s the deal with Seth: I’m happy Seth got on Weekend Update because if he didn’t then I would’ve gone off the deep end and that wouldn’t be very good. So since he was on Update I should probably shut up and not complain right? Well what would be a Fey/Poehler WU without me complaining about something? They could’ve done so much more with Seth and they dropped the ball. They didn’t totally drop it but it wasn’t what I was hoping for. Were my expectations too high? Possibly. But I wanted Seth at the desk talking about the series, talking about the Sox winning, maybe seeing Jimmy run onto the field- it would’ve been a great story to hear and I think he could’ve spun it and made it funny. The angle they went with- to quote the Undertaker ‘I wasn’t feeling it.’ Seth appearing in a little insert and still being a 13 year old boy? The hell? Seth’s burn on coming back from 3-0 was awesome though and seeing JESUS!~ cameo owned. So I’m happy Seth got on Weekend Update but I wanted to see him at the desk talking baseball. And yes- my ranting and raving to get Seth doing a commentary on WU is over for now. Unless the Celtics do something outlandish. So seeing Seth is good and all but the problem is that Amy and Tina still suck. A lot. Amy still has trouble on her delivery on jokes, and the interplay the girls do is just horrible. They really need to stop commenting on their jokes since it’s stupid, unprofessional and not funny. At all. I think Lorne is starting to sense that the chicks aren’t working out- sending out four commentaries and limiting the jokes isn’t a good sign. A few of the jokes were funny but with Amy (she had one good one) it was just bomb and bomb. Amy’s impressions montage really only works when she looks like them and is in full makeup. Saying ‘I’M PUNK BLEH’ is funny when she looks like Avril is doing all her mannerisms. Saying ‘I’M PUNK BLEH’ when you’re a blonde haired woman in a blue suit- doesn’t really work. Amy does get a silver star for effort. (Not a gold star since it wasn’t funny). Will doing the Halloween song was pretty funny but it just went on for WAY too long. Him making Tina and Amy stand for the Spar Spangled Banner was funny but they really should’ve cut this down big time after dress. Fred as the new citizen was a really funny bit and probably my favourite of the four. I loved him singing with everyone and him trying to find the information booth. Fred always plays funny ethnic characters on Update and this was no exception. Tina’s stock continues to fall on my eyes as Horatio AGAIN ended up on Weekend Update. His Elton John wasn’t that bad but there was no point on it. They had already ripped on her in the cold and mocked her in the monologue- this was just beating a dead horse and giving Horatio more time for mug for the camera and spoof Elton. We get it. Ashlee Simpson lip synched. Thanks. I think Horatio knows how Tina got her scar and plans to tell the whole world- or else Tina did something with a goat and again- Horatio knows. I don’t really know but I’d be a very happy man if he was never on WU again. Overall this was a lot better then last week’s suckfest thanks to the commentaries but Amy and Tina continue to just not be very good. ***1/4 Rick! Rick! Rick! Cast- Winslet, Poehler, Sanz Thoughts- This wasn’t bad or anything but I think Rick worked fine as a one time thing and didn’t really need to be brought back. It was terrible in the Latifah dress. Rick worked so well because it was very cute and I loved the interplay with her and Lindsay Lohan. They worked so well together and it was fun. Take Lindsay’s character away and you’re just left with Amy being annoying. Winslet as the Valley Girl didn’t work. Some of Amy’s lines were really funny but what was cute and made smile in the Lohan episode is now just plain annoying. I’m not complaining or anything but I still don’t get how Jimmy Fallon blinking caused Horatio to lose it- but Amy screaming in his ear and dancing around him does nothing. **1/4 Eminem ‘Just Lose It’ Thoughts- I think Eminem knows this song is not as good as is other stuff because his performance just seemed really uninspired. He put it in no energy and it just wasn’t as fun as his other performances on the show. The song itself is a pretty good- the AHH AHH AHH stuff gets annoying but I like the references to his previous songs and it’s not a bad song to listen to or anything. I just wish Eminem had tried to have fun with this instead of going through the motions. **1/4 Glen Goodwin Cast- Rudolph Thoughts- You know that Meet the Press opening? Well: If it’s after 12:30 and has Maya Rudolph in it- then it most definitely sucks. I think Glenda Goodwin may be the worst thing to ever be created on SNL. It’s never been remotely funny and unless it’s goal is to make me hate Maya Rudolph more and more- then it serves no purpose. While it was nice to invoke the Maya 12:30 rule again- I just hate seeing her on my TV after 12:30. It doesn’t mean any good will happen! DUD Decision 2004 Cast- Parnell, Hammond Thoughts- I don’t know what the hell this was supposed to be but except for Parnell’s line about Florida being an erect phallus- this just died a pitiful death. Both guys are capable of so much more. I’d call this skit a disappointment but since it was on at 12:54- I didn’t expect anything out of it anyway. A weird way for Parnell’s Brokaw to go out though assuming they don’t do it again now that is Brokaw is retiring. Just an odd skit overall. ½* The Bottom Line- Avg. skit was **.1 making this a thumbs down show. After the cold opening there wasn’t anything that good in terms of skits and everything seemed to fall flat. Kate Winslet was woefully under-utilised and I thought they totally dropped the ball with her as host- and I don’t like when that happens. Weekend Update was better this week but it’s sad having to rely on the commentaries every week in attempt to save the pathetic jobs Amy and Tina do each week. Just a very uninspired and bland show- considering they were probably getting a lot of viewers after the Ashlee debacle- this has to be considered a big missed opportunity. Thumbs Down Oh and don’t forget to vote- no matter who you vote for. Make your voice heard.

I wish she was still fat so I could mock her

I was pretty torn on Iowa. I only put it with Kerry because Gore got it. Bush is getting New Mexico, probably getting Colorado and Iowa is a tossup. I wouldn't put them with Kerry

Loses and looses are two different words

That map is such bullshit. Bush is WINNING Florida and losing Ohio and Michigan. Wisconsin is not solid Kerry.

I sent in my vote for George W. Bush last week

But they didn't. I was there and the police showed remarkable restraint.

INXS did register and post a long time ago though

Don't bother Loss- I've gotten into many arguments with the OMG BOOKER SUCKS crowd. I remember once I listed tons of matches he had that were good-great and they were immediately dismissed. I wish I had seen the XMas BookDust v. Chris-tain match

What does WWE being bad have to do with TNA? Just because WWE is horrid doesn't also give TNA a free pass to suck

OLD SCHOOL INXS: http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?...opic=33613&st=0

There was no point- the idiot whose posts are barely readable and border on incoherent wanted to once again let us know that he doesn't like AJ Styles

Arizona Philadelphia (8.5) Tennessee (3.5) Detroit Washington Indianapolis (5.5) Jacksonville Minnesota (7.5) Denver (7.5) Seattle (8.5) New England (4.5) San Diego (6.5) Chicago (2.5) N.Y. Jets (9.5) Buffalo- 13 points

Packers by 2

He's just THIS close to hitting Anglesault or Barron status* *"THIS close" having an error of ±99% Is that good or bad?

I'd rather have Andruw Jones then Drew personally. Andruw is the man in the centrefield while this could've just been a contract year for Drew. Why can't Ted Turner buy back the Braves? Surely AOL/Time Warner wants them off the books

I hope the Braves can keep Drew- With all the other players he'll probably be overshadowed and maybe they won't have to overpay him. Wright sucked in the playoffs but I think they should keep him. And Franco is always a free agent- he'll play till he dies

The Braves have- ATLANTA (6): Antonio Alfonseca, rhp; Paul Byrd, rhp; J.D. Drew, of; Julio Franco, 1b; Russ Ortiz, rhp; Jaret Wright, rhp. I keep Alfonseca, Drew, Old School and Wright. Ortiz is going to get ridiciously overpaid by some team when he really fell off at the end of 2004. Byrd was pretty good but with Horacio Ramirez coming back and Mazzone's ability to develop arms- he's expendable.

Yea- Paris Hilton is an ugly disgusting hoebag

It's pretty sad- I went to the Survivor Series in 2002 just to see Booker get the belt. Now if he gets the belt at Survivor Series- I won't really care

I love Hilary more then you do. You can have Lindsay. She looks like a weird ugly version of Paris Hilton in that picture.

Kerry seems to be leading the most recent polls in Ohio- that's why. I still think that site is pretty sketchy. RCP has it 232-207 Well... Well what? Do you have anything to contribute besides a map?

Kerry seems to be leading the most recent polls in Ohio- that's why. I still think that site is pretty sketchy. RCP has it 232-207

This is what Zogby has- Zogby: FL: Bush +1 | OH: Kerry +3 | PA: TIE | WI: Kerry +3 | MN: Bush +1 | MI: Bush +2| NV: Bush +5 | NM: Bush +6 | CO: Kerry +1 | IA: Kerry +1 Iowa and Colorado seem to have been solid Bush. Ditto Wisconsin. But Michigan and Minnesota have also been for Kerry so who knows.