bob_barron

I agree that the 2003 RR kinda dies off towards the end (I watched it today) Taker giving Brock the shittiest Tombstone ever. The stuff with Matt-Shannon is a great running gag and I love all the stuff they squeezed int to keep it entertaining. Plus you have Tommy Dreamer killing Y2J.

I love the 92 Rumble. The 94 Rumble is the first one I've seen so it holds a place in my heart- I always enjoy watching it. How can you not like a match that sees the debut of Hardcore Holly? 1999 blows goats. 1998 at least has "Mark Henry is handling the big Johnson" to keep my interest. 2000 gets unbearably boring from Rikishi's elimination->Rock. King gets really restless at one point. I've really enjoyed the last three Rumbles.

Well here's Dames Diatribe- Ahh, another week has gone by and I’m PSYCHED for TNA this week. For those of you who need a reminder of what happened last week, here you go. Once again, I’m coming to you from Big Suazo’s house, the man that provides me with my TNA fix weekly. I’m even more hyped after beating him in Marvel vs. Capcom 2, but that’s probably only because he’s rusty. I’ve got some high expectations for tonight’s show, so allow me to break open the first of FOUR CHERRY ITALIAN ICES~! and let’s Recap! Show starts off with The Dupps, Goldilocks and Apolo all waiting backstage, presumably for Ricky Steamboat. Apolo is the only one who seems like he has any important matters on his mind as he’s pacing back and forth. We go immediately to our first match of the night: The Spanish Announce Team aka SAT (Joel & Jose Maximo and The Amazing Red) vs. The Flying Elvises (Jimmy Yang, Jorge Estrada and Sonny Siaki) Match Background: Although Red competed in Week 6 against Low-Ki, this is the first appearance of the Maximos on PPV. I’ve seen them numerous times in the northeast and when they are on, they can be quite impressive. Speaking of impressive Jimmy Yang is also back from his tour of Japan, teaming with Estrada and Siaki for the first time since Week 1, where they defeated the participants of the X division title match tonight, AJ Styles, Jerry Lynn and Low-Ki. Factor in Siaki’s cockiness in recent weeks and this one should be good! The Match: The Elvises run into the ring and immediately brawl with the SAT’s until Red and Siaki are alone in the ring. Red hits a spinning enziguiri kick on Siaki as Tenay informs us of the SAT’s gimmick so to speak. They are defenders of the Spanish Announce Table, pissed off that it’s always broken during WWE PPV events. Very funny, interesting gimmick on paper, but seeing as how they aren’t in WWE, it doesn’t really enhance or take away from anything. Siaki hits the 140-pound Red with his press slam into Samoan Drop that the Island Boyz are using now and Red gets the hint and leaves the ring quickly. 3 on 1 attack by the Elvises, culminating in an Arabian Press by Estrada on Joel (pronounced Joe-EL) Maximo. Triple powerbomb on Jose. After disposing of Red again, Siaki tells his partners to let him take care of the rest of the match. With Joel back in now, Siaki unveils some more of the arsenal with an impressive somersaulting swinging neckbreaker! Siaki still refuses to tag his partners in and they just aren’t going to TAKE IT ANYMORE! They go to the commentary booth and decide to bless with song instead. SAT’s are in firm control now, with a Maximo catapulting Siaki into an SAT boot to the face, yet keeping him in an elevated position for a double stomp and a legdrop. Red hits the Red Star Press (standing Shooting Star Press...you try it!) for 2. SAT Stretch on Siaki (Surfboard with Dragon Sleeper applied and a double stomp to the exposed abs to boot). Ouch baby, ouch. Siaki FINALLY comes back with his pumphandle exploder suplex and he just flung Red across the ring with it! With enough distance between him and the SAT’s, Yang gets on the apron to see if he’ll tag him in, but of course, he won’t so Yang goes back to his true love, commentating. Red takes control again and channels the spirit of Liu Kang by bicycle kicking Siaki in the back a few times. Oh, just FINISH HIM~! Looks like the SAT have the same mindset I do as Siaki is nailed by Red before he can come off the top turnbuckle. The Maximo’s climb in and hit one of the most impressive, innovative double tam finishers ever, the Spanish Fly! They stand on the top turnbuckle facing their opponent, both holding him in a Rock Bottom position and MOONSAULT simultaneously while still holding onto said opponent! If that doesn’t impress you, something is truly wrong with you and you need to get it all fixed. Red follows the Spanish Fly with the InfraRed on Siaki, a spinning corkscrew legdrop off the top! It NEVER ceases to amaze me. Red with the sure cover, but here come the other Elvii, breaking the count. The regain control, ending with a running dive to the Maximo’s on the outside. Red is still in the ring however and hits Code Red on Estrada, a move that needs to be seen to be believed. Its a powerbomb out of a sunset flip, trust me on that. Yang breaks it up, Red tries it on Yang but sits down ala EZ Money for a 2 count! Maximo’s blow a spot, but cover for it nicely with a piledriver. Spanish Fly attempt on Estrada reversed into double DDT’s off the top rope!!! I’ve seen many SAT matches, but I’ve NEVER seen the Spanish Fly countered! Spinning heel kick by Yang MURDERS Red and then he and Estrada hit a top rope legdrop/splash combo ala The Hardy Boyz or RVD & Sabu. Instead of going for the cover, Yang and Estrada feel its time to POSE~!, so Siaki sneaks in and steals the pin from his hardworking team mates! Wow. Siaki leaves without his fellow flock of Elvii, postmatch. My opinion: As a fan of the SAT, I’m very pleased to see them get an opportunity to shine on a grand scale. The loss took away nothing from them as the focus was on Siaki’s gloryhogging. The match had some cool psychology as the SAT’s would hit a trademark move and have it reversed on the second attempt each time. A little sloppiness by the Maximos, a blown spot, coupled with the middle of the match which was mostly an SAT squash makes this one a ***3/4 Earlier tonight, Mike Tenay sat down with Apolo, the Puerto Rican sensation. He’s pissed that the title shot that he was next in line for was given to Ron “The Truth” Killings. You know, for a guy with a very heavy accent and who speaks in broken english, he actually cuts a decent promo. Better than a Hardy or Lita. He accuses Steamboat of being corrupt and wants to talk to him face to face tonight! Oh, I love me some shades of grey! In the back, AJ Styles walks out of Steamboats office, followed by The Dragon himself, but he’s confronted immediately by Apolo. He wants to talk NOW, DAMMIT~! But alas, Steamboat is a busy guy and he’ll talk when he’s ready...biatch. He’s followed out by The Dupps who also want them some Dragon convo. “Holy Shit” exclaims Goldilocks as Jerry Lynn runs in to show AJ how to mop the floor with your own face, but it seems AJ is a slow learner. He gives Lynn some whuppin as well before security breaks them up. Very short, effective segment. LEARN WWE. Steamboat walks to the ring, grinning like he just won a lifetime supply of Kool-Aid, until The Dupps catch up to him on the ramp. Dragon gives them a free pass to do whatever it is they’d like to as long as they left him alone. Ricky, do you realize what you’ve just done!!! Think about the viewers! Think about the CHILDREN!!! Steamboat sits at the announce table for our next match. Ken Shamrock vs. Ron “The Truth” Killings for the NWA World Heavyweight title. Why is this the second match on the card? Match Background: Steamboat awarded Truth this title shot after Truth was able to relate to Steamboat on how they were both held down. There’s no way I could do this any justice, so for a more detailed article describing the situation and the rise of NWA:TNA’s breakout star, read THIS! The Match: Tale of the tape segment is shown for this match in a nice touch. Jesus, Shamrock is RIPPED. Bell rings and Shamrock goes after Killings’ leg with a fury. Truth gets to the ropes and fights back, only to get knocked down by a kick. Triangle lock by Shammy. Truth chant!! Shamrock goes for a clothesline, but Truth splits down to duck it and hits a leg lariat in return. The fans are popping for The Truth! Shamrock with a sunset flip turned into a leg lace, but Killings’ reaches the Ropes of Salvation! Truth with a lariat and ANOTHER Truth chant breaks out.....in Nashville. Goes for the 10-punches in the corner, but Shamrock sit out powerbombs him for 2. Truth back up now, and he...BUMPS OFF A PUNCH~! AGAIN! Another Truth chant breaks out! Shamrock goes for a ‘rana and something went wrong because it resulted in the Slowest....’Rana....Ever. Shamrock with the anklelock now! Are the fans into this? They just popped for Truth reaching the ropes! When was the last time that happened? Now, near the entranceway, the Disciples of the New Church (minus Tempest) are looking on. Don Harris looks on from the ramp and Monty Brown looks on from the other entranceway. Shamrock with a cross armbreaker on Ron but Killings won’t tap! On the outside now, Apolo comes down and goes after The Truth, which the Church go after Shammy. Don Harris and Monty Brown come down to even the sides, but Apolo manages to get off one superkick which Truth ducks. It “hits” Shamrock (it missed by a MILE and it was obvious even with the right angle) and Shamrock is dazed. Steamboat tries to restore order to the match and puts the groggy champion back in the ring as he chases everyone out. The Truth is awaiting Shamrock to get up....Diamond Cutter by The Truth....1.....2.....3!!!!!! The Truth is the NEW NWA World Heavyweight Champion! Tenay dubs the move “Truth or Consequences” as Killings is just in pure disbelief that he won the match and the title. It takes him a moment to realize it....but then he finally shouts out “I’m the man!” Yes, you are. He’s still in pure shock though! The crowd is popping for it. Tenay points out the fact that Killings is in fact the first black man to hold the NWA World Championship. My opinion: Incredible. Absolutely incredible how in 7 short weeks, the man formerly known as K-Kwik silenced his critics, took the ball, ran with it and was crowned the NWA World Champion. Truly a great moment. As for Shamrock, I see an Apolo feud in his future. The match was too short and was marred by interference, but I’ll give it ** ¼ Steamboat comes back into the ring and calls out Apolo. He tells Apolo that he deserves the next shot at the Truth, which brings out Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett claims that he is the victim of reverse discrimination because he’s white. Dragon: “The Bullshit stops here tonight!” Whoa. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard Steamboat curse! he makes a match between Apolo and Jarrett for tonight. If Apolo wins, he gets the title shot against the Truth. If JJ wins then he gets the Truth. Steamboat declares himself the ref for the match tonight as well to insure that there is a winner. Next segment is Jive Talkin with Disco Inferno. The Dupps come out and state that since Steamboat said they could do whatever they want, they’re making a Hardcore division in NWA. The “title” is the Dupp Cupp, a golden spittoon. They have 10 ridiculous rules for winning an Hardcore match. It’s based on the point system. You need a total on 10 points to win. 1. If you put your opponent through a table, you get 2 ½ pts. A flaming table gets you 5. 2. If you put your opponents head in a toilet bowl, you get 2 ½ pts. “If there’s shit in it, you get 3 ½ pts.” It only gets worse from there too. 3. Goose a woman – 2 ½ pts. Goose a man, you get 3 ½ pts. How in the world is that Hardcore? 4. If you nail Jeremy Borash, you get 2 ½ points. Ok, thats pretty funny. If you nail Sara, the elderly ticket booth lady, you also get 2 ½ pts. Sounds fair enough. 5. If you use a farm animal, you get 2 ½ pts. Oh boy. 6. If you spank your opponent, bare assed with “Horsey-Poo” (Stan Dupp’s horse on a stick), you get 2 ½ pts. If your opponent enjoys it, you LOSE 2 ½ points. I swear to you, if that ever happens, it would be the biggest mockery to Hardcore wrestling. 7. If you introduce your opponent to Jar, you get 2 ½ pts. 8. “If you cry like a big pussy in the ring”, you LOSE 5 points. 9. If you put your opponents head in the cotton candy machine, you get 10 points and the match is over. 10. If you use an item given to you by a fan on your opponent, you get 1 point. Fair enough. This REEKS OF RUSSO. Unfortunately, its not over. Stan Dupp then proclaims his love for Goldilocks and challenges Disco to a HC match due to his disrespectful actions last week. Paulina comes out to protect Disco and Stan Dupp backs off. This is STILL NOT OVER. They offer up a night with Fluff Dupp for anyone who wants to challenge them for the title. Ed Ferrera volunteers immediately and nails Jeremy Borash. He gooses Don West and then has West do play by play as they follow Ed around the arena. This “match” goes on for WAY too long, and naturally culminates with Ferrera nailing Bo Dupp on his bare ass with Horsey-Poo, but Bo likes it. Jesus, this is HORRIBLE. I can’t do this anymore. Eventually, the Dupps win. This was quite possibly the worst wrestling segment I’ve ever seen. It dragged on and bored me more than the HHH/HBK segment from Monday’s Raw! Since this wasn’t a real match, I won’t rate it, but the overall segment gets -***** Earlier today, Mike Tenay interviewed Monty Brown, who discusses his former football success. Monty tells Tenay that he knows the streets, when Elix Skipper attacks him from behind and paints a yellow streak down his back. He cuts a pretty good promo for a guy who’s never really gotten the chance to, telling Monty Brown that he’s not from the street and he doesn’t understand what its like growing up there. This can’t even make me forget about how bad the last segment was. Please let there be something good next! Malice vs. Don Harris in a First Blood Match. God hates me. Match Background: Don Harris stopped Malice last week from finishing their “blood” ritual on Sonny Siaki last week. He was eventually jumped by Malice and Slash, who performed the ritual on HIM. Harris then set the challenge for tonight. The Match: And.....they're brawling. More brawling. Brawling through the crowd. If there’s one thing that puts me to sleep, its bad brawling. Great visual coming up as a security guard walks right in front of the camera, more interested in his pretzel than the fact that two grown men are trying to make each other bleed behind him. Back at ringside now, Slash holds Harris in position for Father James Mitchell to perform the blood ritual on Harris again, but Harris fights Slash off and kicks the box full of “blood” back at FJM. In the ring, Harris sideslams Malice...and blades off of his own move. I guess that would be the equivalent of superkicking someone, taking an unprovoked bump and allowing yourself to get pinned. Well, the match is over, thank God. My Opinion: This is rapidly becoming the worst half hour of television I’ve ever seen, and I watched that Real World Vancouver crap! Don Harris has never done anything of worth in a wrestling ring and I don’t think he ever will, but he has the distinction of being the first man I know of to bleed off of a side slam. One that HE performed on Malice, mind you. DUD. In the back, Russo confronts Taylor Vaughn about last weeks -** Miss TNA match. She attacks him, calling him a homo and challenging him for tonight. When they do things like this, it makes me seriously doubt if NWA will ever get a national TV slot. GLAAD would jump ALL OVER THEM for this. Hell, I’m not even gay and that offends me! Bruce then makes a deal with God to punish me again by making this an evening gown match. Thankfully, to somewhat save this segment, AJ Styles and Low-Ki begin brawling all over the ladies bathroom before security breaks it up. I’m dying for something to save this show from its nose dive into WrestleCrap. Apolo vs. Jeff Jarrett with Ricky Steamboat as the Special Guest Referee. Ah, this could do it. Match Background: Covered earlier, remember? Pay attention! The Match: Jarrett gets a face pop here tonight. Probably because the audience is mostly white and they want to believe in reverse racism. That’s a whole other issue though. After some lock-ups, JJ goes for closed fists and The Dragon stops him to a chorus of boos. Dragon does the same to Apolo, but JJ attacks from behind. Apolo back with some power moves, but arguing with Steamboat only leads to Jarrett taking over once again. Apolo comes back with a Rydien Bomb for 2. Sunset flip in the corner for 2. A “Double J” chant by the crowd!? JJ opens Apolo up on the outside and goes after the injury like he learned something from the Horsemen. By the way, Steamboat reacts to almost every move done and he really helps sell the match too. Irish whip sequence ends with Jarrett clipping Apolo in mid air. Apolo’s knee is hurt and JJ is getting some massive cheers here! He puts on the figure four (the CORRECT WAY, on the straight leg) and the crowd is chanting “Make Him Tap”! Apolo fading away, Steamboat picks up the arm and drops it three times straight...but Apolo realizes his mistake and starts to reverse the hold immediately. Tsk, tsk, tsk. That really isn’t going to pop the crowd tonight, Apolo. Apolo with his second wind now, over powering Jarrett a few times and going for a Stunner (??) but gets shoved off. He comes back with his Superkick for the 1....2......foot on the ropes! Had Steamboat conveniently not “seen” JJ’s foot on the ropes, they could have kept the whole reverse racism angle going so the nearfall had ME fooled. Apolo with a German Suplex with bridge in the middle of the ring now.....1.....2....Jeff Jarrett’s shoulder is CLEARLY UP....3!!! Is this it? Is Steamboat a heel now?! Is he RACIST? The crowd is booing heavily! The winner is declared....it’s Jarrett! Dragon was also counting Apolo’s shoulders down at the same time! Postmatch, Dragon is confronted by Apolo who ends up being taken away by security. Dragon then says to Jarrett that he does get the Truth next week, but as his tag partner against Lynn and Styles for the Tag Titles. The crowd is NOT happy, chanting “Bullshit” and “Steamboat sucks” and I can’t believe it! My opinion: This match was booked in a very smart manner. All of Steamboat’s subtlety’s were leaning towards purposefully screwing Jarrett over, especially the finish. The match was quite solid as Apolo is coming along with his character and Steamboat is leaning towards Heeldom for the first time in his career! ** ½ Taylor Vaughn vs. Bruce in an Evening Gown Match for the Miss TNA Crown. Match Background: Bruce defeated Taylor last week, she wants it back. The Match: Bruce is wearing a red gown, Taylor a black one. Taylor with a botched atomic drop to Bruce’s right ass cheek. Back rake and a slap by Bruce. Stalling vertical suplex by Bruce, followed by a tilt-a whirl face first powerbomb. He strips her of her gown, trying not to touch her body as he does it, for the win. Post match, he strips to reveal nothing but a thong. Ugh. My opinion: The less said, the better. I hate Vince Russo. -**** Don West then pimps next week’s PPV and some merchandise. Funny, a shirt and a hat cost as much as TWO NWA PPV’s! Finally, the match that I’ve been looking forward to for about a week now. This NEEDS to save this show!!! Low-Ki vs. AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn for the X Division Title. Match Background: Last week, ‘Ki was about to defeat Lynn when AJ interfered and caused Low-Ki to get DQ’ed. ‘Ki didn’t appreciate it and kicked his left cheek into the 5th row. The match was signed and now its TIME TO DELIVER!! The Match: Just a point I’d like to make. Just because NWA:TNA spell Low-Ki’s name incorrectly doesn’t mean that I have to. The bell rings and both Ki and Lynn go after AJ. After disposing of him, they go after each other. Lynn gets a Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Ki for a ONE count. A Lynn irish whip is countered into a dropkick to the knee. 3-KICK COMBO~! by ‘Ki, but the last kick is blocked allowing AJ to land an enziguiri on ‘Ki. Powerslam on Lynn by AJ. Waistlock applied and reversed, but the German suplex is blocked by AJ. ‘Ki charges but gets back body dropped by both men while still in a waistlock position! Lynn gets a Gory Special on AJ, but eats a Low-Ki dropkick before he can drop AJ down. Low-Ki with AJ now....MUTA ELBOWDROP~! Low-Ki chant. AJ headscissors ‘Ki, then picks him up in a Torture Rack and flips him over into a face buster! Lynn with a waist lock from behind, but AJ pulls the ref out of the way and low blows Lynn to establish the heel in this contest. AJ with a ‘rana attempt, but Lynn turns it into a face first powerbomb for an interrupted two count! Lynn and ‘Ki then duke it out and in a GREAT spot, ‘Ki fakes his last punch, Lynn ducks and gets BLASTED in the chest with a kick! Low-Ki chant again. ‘Ki now thrown to the outside thanks to Mr. JL. Lynn with a waistlock on AJ, but Styles is holding onto the ropes to block. Low-Ki dives OVER Styles, sunset flipping Lynn, giving him the momentum to German Suplex AJ at the same time! Both Lynn and AJ are in pinning predicaments for two counts. AJ tries his belly to back into face plant maneuver, but Low-Ki reverses that into a rollup, which he then floats into the Dragon clutch! Lynn goes to kick him off, but the kick is blocked and ‘Ki puts the Dragon clutch on him! Lynn reverses THAT into a DDT! Lynn perches AJ on the top turnbuckle and DDT’s him down! Low-Ki then takes Lynn out and dishes out some punishment to Styles. Lynn breaks up a cover attempt and goes toe to toe with his tag partner. AJ with some kicks to the ribs, but the last one is caught and AJ if flipped backwards, catching Low-Ki in a reverse DDT on the way down! Wow! AJ with a Superplex attempt on ‘Ki, but Lynn sunset flips AJ, who in turn superplexes Low-Ki! AWESOME series of pinfall attempts as each wrestler is put into their own pinning predicament by the 2 count. The last one ends with Low-Ki in a Styles Clash position, but Lynn breaks it up before the move can be done. Lynn and ‘Ki place AJ on the top turnbuckle, but ‘Ki then takes care of Lynn. ‘Ki with the top rope hanging Dragon Clutch on AJ!! Broken up by Lynn. Lynn with a Tornado DDT attempt reversed into the Bite of the Dragon (Dragon Clutch on the ropes, Tarantula Style)! AJ quebradas ‘Ki off! WOW! AJ with his vertical suplex into hangmans neckbreaker on Lynn! Ki’ comes back with a ‘Ki Krusher ’99 attempt, but Styles blocks it. Low-Ki gets the STYLES CLASH ON AJ instead for 2! Lynn gives Low-Ki the Ki’ Krusher for 2! AJ with a Cradle PileDriver on Jerry Lynn for 2! And the THQ No Mercy Special reverse segment is over. Ki’s cartwheel kick attempt ends up in a ref bump! No! AJ with a chair now....chair shot on Jerry Lynn! AJ heads to the top as ‘Ki goes for the pin. Ref counting....1......2.....AJ with the SPIRAL TAP onto ‘Ki! ....’Ki is STILL ON TOP OF LYNN! The ref counts to 3!!!!! Low-Ki is the NEW X DIVISION CHAMPION! My opinion: WOW! This match MADE this show. Nearly flawless! You MUST SEE THIS MATCH. The only match that rivals this one for MOTY so far is the 3-way from the first Ring of Honor show! This match was worth TWENTY of my dollars! Took away ¼ not for the ref bump, because it made sense, but for the way some of the spots looked contrived. ****3/4 What, the shows not over? End it now! JJ and Killings are arguing in the back as Lynn and Styles are still battling each other in the ring! JJ and Killings spill to the ring....Show is OVER! Overall Opinion: That one match needed to save this show and it did. If not, despite Killings winning the title, all I would have remembered this show for would be the Dupp Cupp fiasco and the Miss TNA crap. This show had the best half hour of wrestling this year in the main event and the worst half hour of wrestling, ever. The main is great, so is the opener and the World title match. Get this tape. Fast forward through all of the Russo shit. ‘Til next week, The Dames, Damian Gonzalez If you have any questions or comments on tonight show, I JUST might put them in my column next week, so e-mail me at [email protected]

Hey Dama- I'm a big dog person (have 2 dogs that I love dearly) so I'm very sorry to hear about your dog and I totally understand what you're saying. Hope everything ends up working out for the best.

NBC Sues E! Over 'Saturday Night Live' Clips Tue Jan 13, 3:29 AM ET By Scott Collins LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - It's no joke: NBC and E! Entertainment Television are brawling over "Saturday Night Live." On Sunday, cable network E! was supposed to begin airing "101 Most Unforgettable 'SNL' Moments," a five-part collection of clips from the classic comedy-variety series that has aired on NBC since 1975. E! already shows edited versions of at least 625 old "SNL" episodes under a 2002 licensing deal with NBC Enterprises, the network's syndication arm. NBC, however, was unhappy with the idea of a new clip show, arguing that such a move constituted a violation of the original agreement with E! and would compete with various network-produced "SNL" compilation shows. NBC owns the copyrights to all "SNL" episodes. On Friday -- after lengthy talks between NBC and E! over the holidays failed to resolve the dispute -- NBC filed suit against E! in U.S. District Court, alleging copyright infringement and breach of contract. "NBC was forced to file a lawsuit last Friday to protect its rights after E! Entertainment Television produced and publicized" the clip series, the network said in a statement. "NBC did not grant E! permission to use footage from its groundbreaking 'SNL' franchise in this way." E! said that the clip show was a promotional "stunt" and therefore covered under its original agreement with NBC. Nevertheless, the cable network yanked the first episode of "101 Most Unforgettable 'SNL' Moments" from its Sunday lineup, and the status of the rest of the series remains unclear. In a statement, E! said: "NBC's lawsuit has no merit. Despite E! Entertainment Television's rights under the 'Saturday Night Live' license agreement we have with NBC, we chose not to air our promotional stunt over the weekend, which NBC has mischaracterized in the media. E! is evaluating its response, which may include an affirmative action against NBC. We plan to release additional information as it becomes available." Reuters/Hollywood Reporter

I totally agree with you- I love the Martin Short Celebrity Jeopardy- it's hilarious and has historic value. How can you not love it?

Swords for 100 is from the first ever Celebrity Jeopardy- the one with Martin Short from December 1996. The Norm one involves mixing up condiments and condoms

Celebrity Jeopardy from 10.23.99 with Norm Macdonald. I've seen a lot of SNL's greatest skits and this one still ranks as #1. I've never laughed so hard before in my life. Seeing Norm back as Burt Reynolds was a major mark out moment

So Roger Clemens has managed to piss off the fanbase of every team he's played for. Way to go

Basically. She got mobbed on the way into Letterman so she told everyone she would sign on the way out. So I waited for 2 hrs so I could get a magazine signed for a friend. She came out and ran to her car. I can understand not wanting to sign if you're really having a bad day- but don't promise people and then renege.

I didn't even realise that until now. I guess SNL figures John Edwards is a dull Southerner...like Al Gore. I personally disagree but Will Forte's impression was pretty out there. I'd rank it 5th behind the episodes I gave thumbs up too. Usually Kenan can make me laugh but at this point I was so drained and tired that not even he could get a laugh out of me. That skit had so much wasted potential- bastards. Me too. When SNL had poor episodes with Andy Roddick and Halle Berry my reaction was: Well duh. Having a not good episode with someone who is actually funny pisses me off since it's total wasted potential. I agree with everything you said here. More Forte= goodness Will Forte could've made a good Chandler but I think they were going for someone who could pull off: Could I be any more excited just fine. Nick and Jessica could suck very easily but I just hope the writers can write great material. I assume they'll have fun with it. Last year it took them until February and then they reeled off a bunch of thumbs up shows so I have patience. And even though they'll be hampered by a bad MG- maybe Nickand Jessica could work out. There ya go- Walken will make the world a better place. They're giving him more airtime now. Finesse has become 'The Other Black Guy.' Apparently in dress you didn't see Jennifer's nipples- so who knows what happened in between dress and air. One of my friends went to dress rehearsal so I'm anxiously awaiting to hear what ****1/2 skit got cut in favour of this. I love the one where Franken was doing a thing on people dealing drugs and then ended up getting killed.

Episode Review- Jennifer Aniston/Black Eyed Peas Tribute: It took the guy three seasons to get an assist. And now he’s dead. RIP Yinka Dare. You sucked. Sports Report- Leafs: They’ve slowed down a bit from their magical winning streak which is to be expected- you can’t win them all. The injury bug has hit them badly so all they need to try and stay afloat- especially with a surging Ottawa. Congrats goes out to Pat Quinn for getting to coach the All Star team. The 2003 Stanley Cup Champion New Jersey Devils: Somehow they’ve lost to the Islanders, the Lightning and Pittsburgh yet can shut out the Leafs with ease. They remind me of the Saints accept for the fact that they actually win. Hopefully tonight’s shutout marks a turnaround for Brodeuer. Vancouver Canucks: They’ve played well over the past month while still retaining their lead over Colorado. The usual suspects are doing well and Cloutier is having a very good year. They need to win the division title so Colorado doesn’t have a chance of breaking the Braves’ record of most division titles in a row. That’d be bad. New Jersey Nets: They’ve been unbeatable (well except for the last game- where they got beat) and have taken their usual commanding lead over the Atlantic Division. Picking up Eddie Griffin is a risky move- the guy obviously has talent but seems to always cause trouble wherever he goes. It does warm my heart to know that the Nets completely owned the trade where they sent Griffin to the Rockets in exchange for Jefferson, Collins and Scalabrine. I hope the move pays off but right now it looks everything is working out for NJ. Mailbag!!!!!!!!!!- Shelby Hatten writes- listen dude chris kattan is NOT gay im tired of u people calling him something he's not. u know, it'd be cool if u said u just didnt like chris, but GOD! Grow up! Just because I referenced Perfect Strangers in my review of the Wood monologue does mean I made a Chris Kattan gay joke. THEY WERE COUSINS. The one time I restrain myself from making a gay joke- I get yelled at. XPac1981 writes- ....heard about the announcment Bush made about NASA going back to the Moon and something with going to Mars...wrote this crappy thing up.....Let's see which cold opener is better, the one they use this Sat. Nite or this shitwad..... ehh...nm, Downey's will be better.... -=Ryan ---------------------------------------------- RYAN DIBIASE COLD OPENER INT. OVAL OFFICE "BUSH TALKING TO NATION" BUSH: Hello America. I’m sure many of you have already heard the news that I have authorized NASA and our American Space Experts to journey back to the planet Mars and the Moon. I realize the enormity of this situation and I feel that we are indeed ready to handle this most exciting adventure up…wards. Many of you may ask me……"Well hell, what are we gonna do up there when we get there?" Well, that is precisely the reason why I ask of your time tonight. America, I am proud to announce the newest program of the George Dubbya regime…. "No Alien Left Behind". You--You’ve heard of my plan for schools, No child left behind? Sure you have. Well, with this new "No alien left behind" we will journey up to Mars and the Moon with a goal. And I do mean "we" when I say WE………….cause damnit I’m comin too. Yeeaaaaww!! Damn skippy, hippie. Like I said a second ago, we are setting off to the skies with a goal of prosperity. A goal of global...ness. (Bush reaches down under his desk and pulls out a hunting rifle) BUSH: A goal of killin’ as many of those little son of bitches we can find. Heck, what did you think "No alien left behind" meant? We’re gonna catch em…Hunt em down……and stack em, ten high, on the back of my new Ford Pickup truck, which I will bring with me…and drive around….…on Mars. (Bush gives cocky smile and swagger) I figure maybe I’ll stuff and mount at least 5 or 6 of em in the Lincoln bedroom…...nice little conversation piece you know? Now, you may be thinking…is that all we’re gonna do up there on Mars and the Moon? Well, as far as Mars goes, yeah, that’s all we’ll do…hunt those little bastards down and stack em, 10 high on the back of my new Ford pickup truck..which I will be driving…on Mars. But as far as the moon goes, hell, we got a real good plan. We’re bringin’ Saddam! That’s right, we’re gonna bring him along for the ride. Actually, I was thinking we could toss him in the back of my pickup truck, and during the drive up there, maybe just make sure we handcuff him to the rear window or something. Now, once we get up there….what, you ask, will we do? Hell, what else? We’re gonna strap that bastard down to a moon crater and leave em there for dead! (Bush laughs) BUSH: And how will we hold him down, on the moon? Two words: Duck Tape. Man, What else, What else…(long pause) I knew I had something else to say but damnit if I can’t remember what the---Ohh Ohh Ohh….right.. (reaches under desk, pulls out a guitar) In honor of the last time we walked on the moon…which was…as you all know….when the movie Man on the Moon was released in the year 2000.…. I would like to commemorate that occasion by singing….four years later…to the year.……the song made famous by REM…..Man..on the Moon… (Bush starts strumming, then sings) "If you believe……..we put a man on the moon..maaannn on the--------HOLY CHAW SPIT, AN ALIEN ALREADY!!!!" (Bush drops the guitar and picks up the gun, fires the gun, then smiles) Got em! Heh Heh…yeah….. (Jimmy Fallon, as a no-name presidential assistant, runs onto the shot screaming) FALLON: Mr. President, Mr. President, you shot Condolleza Rice! Do you know what you’ve done?? Oh my g--- BUSH: (Confussed) I’ll be damned she sure looked like one of them aliens to me…those eyes threw me off..way off…..well…damn..now…now I feel bad….is…is she gonna be okay? FALLON: I..I think so,….you , you just grazed her…it wasn’t your fault…you….you thought she was an alien…I--I guess…lets get some help…. (Fallon panicking, attending to Rice for the rest of the scene, audible in background) BUSH: Well…I--I am truly sorry America…as these are trying times and…and…..hell screw it, Terror alert is raised to like…...Burnt Sienna or something… ..at least until I’m convinced what I just shot wasn’t an alien…. Because if it is Condolleza,…I’m..I’m sorry…really..but if it ain’t…….if it ain’t…..Im’a stack it and all like it 10 high on the back of my new Ford Pickup Truck..which I will driving…………….….on Mars. So with that America, as I embark on this impressive journey into the outer limits, take care, God bless, and…. (lights go down….UFO sound is heard.) (Three aliens played by Richards, Dratch and Sanz crash through the window…Bush ducks down…….) ALIENS: LIVE….FROM……..NEW………YORK…..IT ……IS ……..SATURDAY……………NIGHT. The sad thing is- no matter how funny a Bush skit will be- we have to deal with Darrell doing the impression so it probably won’t be that funny in execution. Wanna be in the mailbag???? Email me at [email protected] Cold Opening Cast- Darrell Hammond, Jimmy Fallon Thoughts- It was refreshing to see Darrell doing a good impression for once. It kinda sucks that he was so awesome last season and now has pissed away all my goodwill towards him thanks to his one-two combination of Bush and Schwarzenegger. He was funny here as Donald Trump even though it did get draggy in the middle. It’s weird that they keep having Jimmy do Jeff Zucker even though I don’t think a lot of people know who he is. It still is a very funny impression. This was good and better then some of the cold openings we saw in 2003. *** Monologue Cast- Jennifer Aniston, Maya Rudolph, Seth Meyers, Fallon, Amy Poehler, Horatio Sanz Thoughts- They don’t keep the studio that cold during the monologue but I can’t say I’m complaining. Even though she’s quite the bitch- Jennifer did look really hot in the monologue- almost as hot as Mo from Guts. Having Horatio play Joey was quite the odd choice but it made me laugh. Seth did a pretty good Chandler and Jimmy did an alright Ross. No one else stood out. The Friends parody as a whole was pretty good but could’ve been better. Jennifer’s goof at the end was also good for a laugh. A cold studio, an alright Friends parody and a funny goof all= ***1/4 Paparazzi Cast- Aniston, Poehler, Fallon Thoughts- Don’t really see what the point of this was accept to tease us with potential cameos. And what photographer would really be interested in a shot of Kirstie Alley? It reminds me of the time Celebrities Uncensored kept showing paparazzi clips of Alley playing on the beach for no reason at all. Some of the lines here were okay and it was good seeing Aniston being able to laugh at herself. Most of the lines by Amy seemed to fall flat (Mini-Me jokes?) and I couldn’t get into the Steven Seagal thing. Better writing would’ve made this a lot better. *1/2 Gaystrogen Cast- Chris Parnell, Fred Armisen Thoughts- While it was no Homicil- this was pretty funny. Fred does look kind of gay (sorry Fred- but it's true) so he played a very good gay man. Solid funny stuff here. *** Britney and George Costanza Cast- Aniston, Fallon, Rachel Dratch Thoughts- I felt bad for SNL. Saddam gets captured 4 hours after Saturday Night Live goes on its holiday break. Britney gets married a week before SNL comes back from its holiday break so by the time this show aired- both news stories would’ve been old news. Did that stop SNL from making fun of them? Well no. Why does Jimmy get to make out with every hot female host? He’s one smart guy. Jennifer did an okay Britney Spears (I preferred Reese Witherspoon’s that was cut from dress) but this also suffered from poor writing and the wedding especially (Because he burped???) came off as flat. If they were going to try something with Britney they really should’ve tried harder since everyone has milked it for all its worth. Had its moments but there weren’t enough of them. ** Senator John Kerry Cast- Meyers, Parnell, Poehler, Hammond, Will Forte, Fallon, Kenan Thompson Thoughts- Given that he was on Weekend Update, I wonder if Al Franken wrote this skit. And if he did- hats off to Al because this was easily the best skit of the night. Seth’s John Kerry was quite good even though he should’ve mentioned serving in Vietnam. Amy’s Dennis Kuchinich was quite creepy- but funny. I feel bad for John Edwards. He sounds like this nice downhome southern gentleman- but on Saturday Night Live he gets made to look like a psycho thanks to Will Forte. Is Carol Mosely Braun doing THAT badly that they couldn’t give Finesse a wig and send him out there? I understand that Kenan does her as well but why do they have to make poor Ms. Braun feel left out? SNL usually brings the funny in its political humour and this was no exception. I just hope a win by Bush doesn’t mean four more years of Darrell. ***3/4 Black Eyed Peas Thoughts- I liked the first time I heard this song- when it was called “What’s Going On”. I’ve never had black eyed peas before so I’m not sure if they’re any good or not. I’m not a big fan of regular peas though. I had never heard of the Black Eyed Peas before this (although I had heard this song on the radio) and I’d have to say I was impressed. The song was a bit preachy at times but it was fun to listen to and they did a fine job of performing it. ***1/4 Weekend Update Cast- Al Franken, Fey, Fallon, Jeff Richards, Hammond, Finesse Mitchell, Armisen Thoughts- This was a subpar edition of Weekend Update. I liked it and all but it just wasn’t as good as the usual Fallon/Fey outing. Jeff’s Steve Irwin impression was not good as he didn’t seem to have the accent down. Finesse’s OJ was awful and made me long for the great Tim Meadows. To show you my geekdom- As Finesse was doing his thing I went to my 2004 ESPN Sports Almanac to shake and see if OJ was in the Hall of Fame. Lo and behold he was inducted into the hall in 1985. Fred was funny as Phil Spector- Darrell’s Robert Blake didn’t work so well. Al Franken’s bit was eh. It started out fine but then went downhill when he did the bit with the second soldier. Tina seemed a bit off her game as well but they still delivered some real good jokes. Update was good but it could’ve and should’ve been better. *** Osama and Saddam Cast- Fallon, Sanz, Armisen Thoughts- I know Jimmy and Horatio did a skit similar to this last year although I don’t really anything about it except for the fact that it wasn’t good. This skit dragged on way too long and while they did exchange a few funny lines-as a whole this was not that good. They cracked up but you all know my feelings on that so I won’t bring it up. Not many funny lines and an overlong running time drag this skit down to- * Country Roses Cast- Aniston, Poehler, Dratch, Rudolph Thoughts- Mocking country music compilations- gotta say that’s pretty out there in terms of something to parody. Jennifer was kinda funny but again she had nothing to work with and thus a bad skit resulted. * Coco and Matsui Cast- Aniston, Rudolph, Armisen Thoughts- I was all set to chalk this up to the Maya Rudolph 12:30 rule because the skit was dreadful. But then something magical happened and Jennifer Aniston completely took over this skit and was rocking the body that rocked the party. It’s a shame they spent so much time on the Coco and Matsui stuff and not enough on the Jennifer interviews Jennifer stuff since adhered to a special SNL rule, and the other was funny. I wish I could give this a higher rating but the beginning was so awful that I cant give it more then- ** Black Eyed Peas Thoughts- Good to see someone FINALLY takes my advice and makes their second song loud, energetic, fun to listen to, and devoid of stools. These guys turned out to be a very good group of people and I enjoyed hearing their music. They’re certainly better then G-Unit. Hopefully these guys come back to SNL cause I would like to hear more of them. ***1/2 Appalachian ER Cast- Meyers, Parnell, Poehler, Hammond, Fallon Thoughts- Is it wrong that I laugh at hick mocking humour? I know it is but at 12:45 am it doesn’t take much to be amused. Some of the Southern accents could’ve used some work and it wasn’t exactly the pantheon of intellectual humour but it’s 15 to 1 so I wasn’t expecting much and got a nice little skit in return. **3/4 Raw Talk Cast- Aniston, Forte, Parnell, Armisen, Thompson Thoughts- This skit was total wasted potential. When I saw Will Forte I thought this skit could’ve been a great way to close out the show. Will Forte having phone sex with prudish Jennifer Aniston? Hey- could work. Instead they just went the lame route- not even Kenan could save this one. Will Forte’s ability to play oddball characters and prudish phone sex just seem like they would gel so well. But alas SNL missed the boat and that kinda sucks. *1/4 Bottom Line- Avg. skit was **.4 making this a thumbs in the middle show. I was pretty disappointed since Jennifer Aniston has great comedic talent and the last time she hosted was very funny. She did a good job here (and showed her nipples) but the writing for many of the skits was very weak and there was only so much she could do to save dying skits. The political humour was strong and I hope they continue to focus on it. It seems they do (and did tonight) an awful lot of skits that just scream DOA the minute they hit the screen- they need to stop doing skits like that. The Black Eyed Peas were quite but even they couldn’t get the show up to **.5. The subpar Weekend Update also hurt the show. I’m not looking forward to next week but hopefully Jessica Simpson will have fun with her material, and hopefully the writers will have fun writing for her. Thumbs in the Middle

Apparently a lot of people could sit through that crap since the match has been revered by smarks and marks alike as a classic. I never got how the bumping was cartoony- the point was that Taker was really really pissed and was beating the dogpiss out of Shawn. Of course HBK is going to bump all over the place

It's true- I expected to be running to class and freezing my balls off and I don't know what happened- I was cold and all but I thought I was going to be COLD. I didn't even need my sweater and I was fine. It was a lot colder last night

Am I the only one who didn';t think it was that cold out this morning. (Live in Toronto) I went outside wearing tshirt and shorts with a sweatshirt jacket and I was fine. I'm dissapointed about the cold weather- I expected a lot more

Well the last time there was RAW v. SD!- JR and King called it. So it's Cole and Tazz's turn

That's just Smackdown!- RAW airs the same time.

A really good match is like ***1/4-3/4 or something and Angle has had lots of those. I consider ****+ to be excellent or something along those lines

Yea- at Final Battle Lynn told me he had talked to Gabe about coming back to ROH. Good to hear he's back

Well teke- you have some interesting feedback in General Wrestling.

Hey guys- I was on Bus B with tpww- I wish we could've watched something other then the Muto comp for the way back. I was too tired to watch puro. The show was amazing and for most of the matches I sat next to- JERRY LYNN!!!~ He was really cool- I tried not to bother him while the matches were going on. The convention was great- Colt Cabana thought that the 1985 Chicago Bears were the people who attacked Lucy. He was wrong. Joe and AJ kept gooing off the whole time- it was hilarious. Alexis Laree was also there. I think SCS v. Temueric Storm was easily the MOTN. Just great tag team wrestling all the way through. Temueric Storm don't even speak English (They kept trying to talk to me- so I know) which it makes it even more amazing. Since there were no girls when Trent entered- I offered him a dollar. He stared at me, shrugged his shoulders and took it. CM Punk shot me a dirty look during his entrance since all we did was taunt him unmercifully. Low Ki got no reaction since he didn't do anything. He just stood there. My friend got a dirty look from Ki for calling him Brandon. Joe v. Mark was my second favourite match- just watching Joe beat the holy hell out of Mark was a lot of fun

New England San Francisco Philadelphia Kansas City Cincinnati New Orleans Indianapolis Atlanta Miami St. Louis Tennessee Carolina Minnesota Green Bay San Diego Baltimore Giants: 20 pts

It hasn't officially been cancelled yet. It will be soon though because Fox sucks.

::ignores Raza insulting A Minute with Stan Hooper:: I think they mean Stan Hooper from Bibe Challenge done in the Quentin Tarantino show. Norm has used the pseudonym Stan Hooper on SNL a few times

Britney- Yes. Her second song was really bad since she has a horrible voice. Jet- Their first song kicked ass and their second song probably got Celeb Poker or O'Reilly cut. Yes. Both of Pink's songs were pretty good and I don't think they would've affected the quality of the show. I love Avril Lavigne and everything else on the Gordon show was painful to watch