The Mandarin

I emjot ABOBO.

This preview has been pre-empted in your area.

Updated scores, homies. The Voice is certainly gonna make some points tomorrow.

I recommend Miracle Pets.

Here's next week's preview. Eventually he works a picture of Sable at the 1997 Slammies in there too.

Falling Down- 2/10 Awful. Just awful. I can't believe it got such a high rating on IMDB. Not funny as a comedy, not intense as a thriller, and too cheesy to be a drama.

By the time the album comes out, China won't even have a Democracy.

Yes. You have to go for this one. Or "Simon Dean invented RAW/wrestling/the sharpie I used to write this sign".

Che- 1? Somebody wants a revolution.

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I swear, PWI loves La Parka. He's always in the top 100. Bob Sapp was too low, Samoa Joe should have been top 20, and Teddy Hart and Chris Hero could stand to be a few places higher, but other than that, it's alright. Shirley Doe making 492 is pretty cool.

I forgot to include Wesley Willis.

That "Don King is Sex" explanation made me cough up Raisin Bran this morning.

"The OAO Raw Sign" "Jim Ross needs the Simon Dean plan BOOMER SOONER" "UPN Sucks" "La Parka = Ratings" "Cancel SmackDown" "Pat Patterson: The True C*m-S*cking Gutter Sl*t"

What day does Xplosion air?

WWE.com is counting the Bra and Panties match from last night. D'ya think I should do the same? That would mean Steviekick would get 15 points for Trish Stratus "winning". I'd like to hear what you guys have to say.

Charlton Heston's gonna use his rifle as an imaginary penis.

Scores are updated on page one.

No contest for me, it's gotta be Austin vs. Rock from WM X-7.

Randy Orton just got his Blazin' Special!

Ric, you want some ice cream? Huh? Wanna go take a dump in Mick Foley's shoes? Okay, let's go take a dump in Mick Foley's shoes.

Car commercial Father: Son, here's all you need to know. (pops trunk, revealing Christy's dead body) Father: Son, can you say "Hemme"? Son: Hemme! Father: That's my boy. YOu just won Raw. Great White Nope: A Winner is You. Oh my God! She's been humiliated and stripped! It must be a weekday!

Car commercial Father: Son, here's all you need to know. (pops trunk, revealing Christy's dead body) Father: Son, can you say "Hemme"? Son: Hemme! Father: That's my boy. HAHAHAHAMILLIONANDTWO

WTF? Is this a MadTV sketch? You've got Trish Stratus as a guest host, Stephnie Weir playing Christy, Mo Collins as Molly Holly, and that Asian dude as Gail Kim.