Preshow: The Blue Meanie d. Test at 4:55 with a Meaniesault. After the match, Clockwork Violence came to the ring and beat down both men. Savage gave Test a big elbow drop off the top through a table. Richards cut a promo about how Clockwork Violence was going to dominate tonight, etc etc.
SHOWTIME! LIGHTS! CAMERAS! ACTION!
-We start with a video package highlighting tonight's big matches.
-Joey Styles and Mike Tenay are in the ring and run down tonight's card ECW style. They then call out tonight's special guest announcer, Shawn Stasiak! Stasiak comes down and says "Welcome to Planet Stasiak!" Nobody in the crowd responds, and so Stasiak says that nobody cares about him, so he's leaving. Joey and Mike convince Stasiak to stay and do commentary.
-Sid comes to the ring and says that he has a problem with Clockwork Violence, and that after tonight he's going to go through all of them until he powerbombs them the hell out of UWE.
1) Sid d. Masahiro Chono with the powerbomb at 6:54 to start off the show. *1/2 After the match, Clockwork Violence attacks until Scott Hall, Sting, HBK, and Ken Shamrock run down to make the save. We transition immediately into the Scott Hall vs. Shawn O'Haire match!
2) Shawn O'Haire d. Scott Hall at 9:10 with the Seanton Bomb after the Mountine whacked Hall in the knee with a bat as he tried to hit the Outsider's Edge on O'Haire. **1/4 After the match, Hall got on the mic and said that this shit with Clockwork Violence had to stop. He said that at the next pay per view he wanted Clockwork Violence vs. the UWE's best in a Wargames match!
-A vignette aired for a new tag team coming to UWE. CM Punk was shown talking about how he had searched the world for the perfect tag team partner. One that was straight edge, who didn't drink, didn't do drugs, didn't even smoke. Punk says that he found a monster in the jungles of Africa...Kamala! Kamala enters the picture. Punk says that this won't be any happy, belly slapping Kamala, because thanks to Punk, Kamala is off drugs and is now a MONSTER. Punk says that next week on Rage we will see what this new combination has in store for the UWE.
3) Savio Vega d. La Parka at 5:58 in the Caribbean Strap match after Carlito Caribbean Cool knocked down La Parka as he was going for the last corner. After the match, the heels beat down La Parka. Savio declared himself the master of the strap match, and said nobody could beat him in one.
-Backstage, Waylon Mercy is walking around with a magnifying glass. Josh Matthews asks him what he's doing. Mercy says to call him C.S. Pivey. Pivey says that somebody needs to investigate who the mystery man was who attacked Sting last week on Rage. Pivey said that soon the mystery will be cracked. He then spots something on Josh and asks him what that white stain is on the crotch of his pants. Josh claims it's toothpaste, but is cut off in this embarrassing situation as Jamie Noble comes up from behind and whacks Matthews with a chairshot to the back! Noble says that's payback for embarrassing him last week.
4) TV title #1 contender's match: Christopher Daniels d. Jamie Noble and Brian Pillman at 14:10 with the Angel's Wings on Noble after Pillman was dumped to the floor. During the match Noble went up to the top rope, but Josh Matthews ran down and shoved him off, leading to Daniels winning. ***1/2
-Backstage Paul London greets Rey Misterio Jr. and wished him good luck in their TV title match tonight.
5) Midnight Horsemen d. Lynn, New Jack, and Saturn at 15:44 in an extreme rules match after Anderson gave Saturn a spinebuster onto a pile of thumbtacks. *** This was an extremely crazy, bloody matchup. During the match, JJ Dillon got into an argument with Shawn Stasiak on commentary. Stasiak started to beat up Dillon when Stan Lane saw this and cracked Stasiak in the head with a shovel! Stasiak had to be stretchered to the back, supposedly having severe head trauma.
6) Paul London d. Rey Misterio Jr. via disqualification at 9:15 in their TV title match when Brian Pillman ran down and came off the top rope with a splash onto London as London covered Rey after hitting a shooting star press on him. It looked like Pillman saved Misterio from losing his title. Pillman then DDT-ed London and got on the mic and said he was the only one in this company who deserved the television title. London threatened to rape or kill anyone necessary until he got that belt and destroyed it. Surprisingly, Kronik came down to the ring and beat up Pillman, giving him their High Times double chokeslam! Adams said that Pillman was a pain in the ass, and that Kronik was now taking on the responsibility of dealing with "locker room issues".
-Backstage, we saw all four men in tonight's main event give a quick word on why they were going to win the world title.
7) Danny Doring d. Dean Malenko at 8:06 with a Wham Bam Thank You Ma'm and a pin with his feet on the ropes for leverage. **3/4
-Backstage, Paul London confronted Rey Misterio about being in cahoots with Brian Pillman. Misterio denied it, and said he couldn't believe London would even ask something like that. London asked for a rematch, but Christopher Daniels stepped in and said he was getting the next title shot at Rey, not London. The three friends continued to argue as we cut away.
-Backstage, a dejected Dean Malenko was encountered by the Midnight Horsemen. Dillon says that it looks like Malenko could have used their help out there tonight. Anderson tells Malenko to think about joining them...he's a Horseman, he belongs with them, not doing a stupid dance on some game machine.
8) Randy Savage won the four way match to become the first ever UWE world champion. ***1/2 Early in the match, Clockwork Violence interfered, but Kronik, Scott Hall, and Sid Vicious came to the ring and brawled to the back with them.
-Sting eliminated Ken Shamrock at 11:21 with a rollup out of the ankle lock.
-HBK was eliminated at 18:46 after losing too much blood (Savage had busted him open early in the match with a fork) and having Savage put a sleeper hold on him.
-Savage d. Sting at 25:41 after the mysterious masked man cost Sting his second straight match. What happened is a masked man ran down to the ring after a ref bump with Sting having Savage in the Scorpion Deathlock. Sting beat up the masked man and gave him a Scorpion Deathdrop. He unmasked him...and it was Steven Richards! But this was just a decoy, as the REAL masked man came from under the ring and drilled Sting with the lead pipe right between the eyes! Randy Savage recovered, scaled to the top, and hit the big elbow drop for the pinfall!
-Styles and Tenay scream about who the masked man is and why he would do this as the show goes off the air with Savage holding his belt up high.
