Hoff

OMG h8 u all

I got the show this week, kids. Part 1 of...um...either two or three of the Hoiff interview. We'll see.

No, to be honest, I didn't have any ideas, really. I didn't mean it so much as a criticism of you, as a comment in general, because I don't know what I'd have done differently. It wasa good promo and all...just didn't feel as big as it should have. I dunno.

COACH h0m0 COLE

Translation: "I'm lazy and I don't care about the OAOAST or my responsibilities as champion." For shame. voteHoffStevensHDmatchoftheyearlolomg~!

DREK STONE IS THE WORST CHAMPION EVER!! WORSE THAN THREE ALFDOGGS!!!!

Oh! Worst gimmick? CRAZY VAMPIRE. You know it.

Not a whole lot to say, and I know this is late. But good enough show. AWESOME opening promo from NYU, I was laughing my ass off as Drek played the puppetmaster. Adam, I don't usually have cause to criticize you, and maybe it's not a knock on you as much as the order of the card, but, the big announcement fell a little flat for me. I mean, obviously it was a big deal, but it felt like just another promo until then. Honestly, I don't know what you'd have done differently, save maybe place it at the end of the show and do the others next week....and speaking of the others, Ken, NICE work on the boiler room segment, I was into it. Everything else was good, nothing jaw-dropping, but very fun to read. This Original Elite could be interesting.... (

You know I think we all need to read it again... ------------------------------------------------------ *ding.....ding.....ding* COLE Here we go! Michael Buffer steps into the center of the ring with a microphone in hand. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children ofall ages. It is now time for our HeldDOWN~! maaaain event for this evening! This contest is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit, and it is for the One and Only Anglesault Threaaad Twenty-Four Seven Championship!!! CUE: "Black" by Sevendust The fans begin to boo as Hoff's familiar theme music fills the air. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger. A man who, as a member of the vile Thrillogy faction, captured and defended the Twenty-Four Seven Title with complete and total dominance. Last week, this Emperor of Death was dethroned by a man from his past, and tonight he seeks retribution and a return to glory. From Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at two-hundred and seventy-five pounds, he is.....HOFF!!!! Hoff steps out onto the stage. The usual flash and flair are nonexistant tonight, replaced by a grim demeanor and a slight scowl. Pausing to survey the crowd, Hoff walks slowly down the ramp, sliding into the ring. Hoff walks by Buffer without a glance, and retreats to the far corner, forgoing his usual salute on the turnbuckles, and instead keeps his eyes locked on the entrance as his music dies out. CUE: "Bound For the Floor" by Local H The fans come to their feet and give Stevens' theme song a HUGE pop! BUFFER And his opponent for this evening. A native of Rochester, Minnesota, this man has traveled the globe perfecting his craft. And eight-year veteran, he seized the opportunity to win his first OAOAST title last week. Making his first title defense in an OAOAST ring, weighing in tonight at two hundred and sixteen pounds, he is the reigning and defending Ona and Only Anglesault Thread Twenty-Four Seven Champion....CHRIIIIISSSSS STEEEEVENSS!!!!!!! Buffer exits as Stevens enters the arena from behind the curtain, and the fans go ballistic. Stevens keeps his face a stone mask...until suddenly unstrapping the 24/7 Title from his waist and hoisting it high into the air, driving the fans ecstatic!! Stevens lets out a yell, then lets a big grin settle on his face as he walks down to the ring. Stevens slaps hands with fans all the way to the ring, going so far as to pose for photographs. Hoff simply stands in the ring, watching, as Stevens takes a walk around the perimeter of the ring, letting himself enjoy the newfound popularity and fame, before rolling into the ring and climbing the near turnbuckle, holding his belt up to another big pop! Stevens hops down, rolling his neck and handing the belt to the official. The referee shows the belt to Hoff, who nods, then hoists it up for everyone to see before handing it to the timekeeper. COLE That's what it's all about! The ref calls both men to the center of the ring. Stevens' smile fades as he and Hoff meet in the middle of the squared circle, eyes locked onto one another. Sparks of electricity are almost visible as the referee's explanation of the rules falls on deaf ears. The official asks Stevens if he understands, and the champion nods without taking his gaze off of Hoff. The official asks Hoff the same question, and the Thrillogy member just shoves him away. COACH Whoa! The referee shakes it off, then shoots Hoff a perturbed look before shrugging and motioning for the timekeeper to ring the bell. COLE We are now officially underway! Chris Stevens and Hoff remain unmoving, standing almost nose to nose in the center of the ring, eyes still locked on each other. A scowl is visible on either man's face, and Hoff begins talking. Stevens says nothing as Hoff jaws away. A fever pitch builds in the audience as Hoff steps ever so slightly closer to Stevens, who still remains silent. COLE Oh my lord, you could cut this tension with a knife! Hoff continues jawing at Stevens, before shoving the champion back a step. The fans suck in their breath as Stevens stumbles backwards. Hoff smirks...but Stevens comes charging forward and floors Hoff with a spear!! The fans go INSANE!! Stevens falls on top of Hoff and begins throwing WILD punches!!! COLE My God! We knew this situation would explode! Hoff powers out, throwing Stevens to his left and getting to his knees. Stevens beats Hoff to his feet, though, and grabs him by the head, slamming him face-first into the turnbuckle! Hoff reels, and Stevens throws him into the buckle, catching him across the jaw with a European uppercut! Hoff's head snaps back, and Stevens fires off another shot! Stevens grabs Hoff by the arm and whips him across the ring, and the force brings Stevens to his knees as Hoff hits the opposite buckle face-first! Hoff stumbles back as Stevens finds his feet, and Stevens spins Hoff around, hitting him with another European uppercut that takes the big man down! COACH Stevens is on fire! Stevens straddles Hoff, kneeling down across Hoff's chest and unloading with a series of right hands. Hoff tries to cover his face, but Stevens rips one hand away and rakes Hoff in the eye! Hoff clutches at his eyes in pain, as Stevens begins slamming hard rights into Hoff's chest!! Hoff tries to turn over under Stevens, but Stevens grabs him by the hair, pulling him back and slamming him in the face with a HUGE right hand! COLE Stevens, unlike a lot of guys, is showing no fear of Hoff! CABOOSE Hoff intimidates a lot of guys, but I guess Stevens has been in there with him before! Stevens gets to his feet and begins stomping at Hoff, SCREAMING for the big man to get up! Hoff slowly crawls away and gets to his feet, and Stevens immediately whips him off the ropes. Hoff comes off the other side and Stevens leapfrogs him, then catches him off the far side with a blind back elbow! Hoff staggers back, holding his jaw, and Stevens moves in...but Hoff quickly charges with a clothesline, but Stevens ducks the move! Hoff spins around, and Stevens quickly catches Hoff in a drop toe hold that sends Hoff neckfirst onto the second rope! Stevens begins choking Hoff on the rope as the fans cheer him on! COLE Hoff has made so many enemies as a part of the Thrillogy! The fans are loving this! CABOOSE I'm not! Come on, Hoff! Stevens lets go of the choke, then walks across the ring, jogging into the ropes! Stevens bounces off the ropes, picking up speed until he leaps on Hoff, dropping his weight across the back of Hoff's head!! Hoff's eyes bug out as Stevens' backside bounces across him. Stevens gets up, and Hoff quickly rolls off of the ropes, grasping at his throat. COLE A tried and true maneuver from Stevens there! Stevens pumps up the crowd quickly, pumping his fist as Hoff lies on the canvas, before going back to work. Stevens picks Hoff up off the mat by his hair, whipping him again into a turnbuckle. Hoff again staggers out, and Stevens catches him with a deep armdrag takedown! Hoff skids across the ring as Stevens quickly finds his feet. Hoff gets up, looking angry, and charges Stevens...walking right into another armdrag! Stevens quickly gets up and smirks at Hoff, who complains to the referee of a hair pull. The referee just shrugs. COLE I wouldn't be surprised if Stevens did use a cheap trick or two! These two do not like each other! Hoff gets up, nostrils flared. He stalks toward Stevens, looking for a lockup. Stevens beckons Hoff on as he steps back, then quickly darts in under Hoff's arms and grabs his right wrist, twisting it back into a hammerlock! Hoff tries to pull free of the move, then throws a back elbow with his free left arm, but Stevens ducks! Stevens lets go of the hammerlock, and Hoff's momentum causes him to spin around, facing Stevens, who takes him down with a snampare! Hoff hits the mat, and Stevens stays on him, applying a rear chinlock! COACH Stevens seems to be a step ahead of Hoff so far! Hoff quickly fights to his feet, throwing an elbow to the ribs of Stevens. Stevens lets go of the chinlock, and Hoff grabs Stevens' right arm with his left, looking for the short-arm clothesline...but again, Stevens ducks! This time, though, Stevens grabs Hoff's right arm with his free left, then yanks his right arm free, hopping up and throwing both legs and arms onto Hoff's right arm, taking the big man down into a cross arm breaker as the fans applaud!! COLE Wow, what a counter there! CABOOSE Even I have to admit, that's an impressive move. Hoff slams his fist onto the mat as Stevens wrenches back on Hoff's arm, applying pressure to the wrist, elbow, and shoulder joints. Hoff grits his teeth and grimaces in pain. The referee checks on Hoff to see if he wants to give up, but the big man shakes his head. Stevens wrenches back again on the right arm, as a "Stevens" chant goes up in the stands. Hoff rolls left, then right, but can't get his arm free. COLE Hoff could be in trouble here! Hoff reaches his free, left arm over, clawing at Stevens' boots, but Stevens just rears back again and Hoff cries out in pain. Suddenly, Hoff rolls backwards, pulling a reverse somersault and twisting his arm free! Before Stevens can react, Hoff is on his feet! Stevens gets up and faces Hoff just in time to be DRILLED with a big right hand! And Hoff YOWLS in pain!! CABOOSE Oh NO! COLE The damage has been done! The fans laugh as Hoff shakes out his right arm, holding his wrist. Hoff looks away just long enough for Stevens to move in and blast him with another European uppercut that sends Hoff to the corner. Hoff crumples in the buckle, and Stevens climbs up to the second rope! Stevens raises his fist, then brings it down as the fans count along! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" Stevens pauses and points out to the crowd, smiling wide! "TEN!" Stevens lays the final blow onto the top of Hoff's head, then hops down and to the side. Stevens grabs Hoff's arm and whips him cross-corner, but Hoff reverses the whip and Stevens crashes into the far buckle! Hoff charges in shoulder-first, but Stevens quickly hops up to the second rope! Stevens dives forward as Hoff charges in, flowing over him with a sunset flip! The referee makes the count! ONE!! TWO!! KICKOUT!! Hoff kicks his feet, catching Stevens in the side of the head and causing him to release the hold. Hoff rolls backwards out of the pinning predicament and gets to his feet, catching a rising Stevens with a beautiful standing dropkick that sends Stevens into the buckle! COLE Nice dropkick from the big man! CABOOSE Yeah, well, when your arm is hurting, use your feet! Sound strategy. Stevens gets up out of the corner, but Hoff sees him out of the corner of his eye, and charges at Stevens from his knees, driving the 24/7 champion back into the corner! Stevens hits hard and buckles slightly as Hoff stands back up, delivering a big left hook to Stevens! COACH Hoff still favoring his right arm! Hoff throws another hook, but Stevens shakes it off and fires a punch of his own! Hoff reels, and Stevens lands another right hand, and another, and another! Hoff is reeling, and Stevens quickly moves to his side and drives Hoff down with a side Russian legsweep! COLE Stevens quickly shifts the momentum back in his favor! CABOOSE I don't think those lefts have as much power behind them as Hoff's rights do! COLE Well, convention suggests you work on your opponent's weaker arm, but Stevens' reverse strategy seems to be very effective! Stevens sits up quickly after the Russian legsweep, grabbing Hoff's right arm by the wrist and using it to turn Hoff over onto his stomach! Stevens quickly tucks the arm under his own and applies a Fujiwara armbar! Hoff again cries out as Stevens wrenches back! The referee again checks on Hoff, but Hoff waves him away! Hoff grabs at Stevens' hair with his free hand, but Stevens rears back again, and Hoff lets go, slapping the mat in pain!! The ref checks for a tapout, but Hoff balls his fist, gritting his teeth. COLE Hoff may have been close to tapping there! CABOOSE Please, no way. Hoff, slowly, brings himself to one knee, and Chris Stevens releases the armbar. Hoff gets to his full height, but Stevens quickly snakes around him and catches him in a drop toe hold before Hoff knows what's going on. Hoff hits the mat face-first, and Stevens pounces on his right arm, grabbing it with both hands and extending it before driving a knee into the elbow. Hoff yells in pain as Stevens repeats the maneuver, driving the knee down. Suddenly, Hoff yanks his arm free, rolling away all the way under the ropes and to the outside. CABOOSE Good, this is smart by Hoff. COLE Smart? Stevens has been dominant all match, and so Hoff takes the coward's way out! CABOOSE Yeah, smart. Hoff walks around a bit, catching his breath and shaking out his sore right arm. Hoff holds his right elbow, gingerly flexing it a couple of times, and wiggling his fingers. A fan shouts something obscene to Hoff, and the big man yells back, before turning around...and getting hit with a HUGE suicide dive by Chris Stevens!! The fans pop as Stevens sails between the first and second ropes, flooring Hoff with a suicide dive clothesline that sends both men down!! COACH Whoa! A "holy shit" chant breaks out at ringside as Stevens again begins pummeling Hoff! Stevens gets to his feet and pulls the big man up, grabbing him again by the right arm and driving the arm into the guardrail! The fans cheer as Hoff cries out, walking away and holding his arm in pain! COLE Stevens is staying on Hoff here! He's not letting him get collected! Stevens follows Hoff, spinning him around and grabbing his arm again! Stevens whips Hoff into the steel steps, and Hoff hits them shoulder-first with a sickening crash! The steps go flying as Hoff sprawls into the guardrail! COACH Wow, what impact! Hoff grimaces and holds his shoulder as he lies on the mat by the guardrail. Stevens grabs him and picks him up, leading him by the head around the ring. Stevens stops once to drive Hoff's skull into the ringpost, to the delight of the fans! Hoff grabs his face and forehead as he reels back, but Stevens grabs him again and leads him to the French announce table! COLE Not again! CABOOSE Poor French bastards... Stevens rears back and slams Hoff's head into the table. Hoff bounces back, but Stevens grabs him by the tights and rolls him up onto the table, then climbs up after him!! Stevens raises one arm and plays to the cheering crowd! COACH Stevens has got to be careful, though. This is not his element. I know, I've seen the tapes! Stevens reaches down and lifts Hoff up, so that the two men are standing on the table. The French announcers quickly get out of the way as Stevens hooks his arm around Hoff's neck! The fans pop! COLE Stevens is looking for the Rock Bottom! Some revenge for last week! Stevens grabs Hoff's back to lift him, but Hoff quickly throws a back elbow -- his LEFT elbow -- into Stevens' head! Stevens reels, and Hoff quickly breaks free...and reverses the hold!! COLE Oh no!! Rock Bottom from-- WAIT! Hoff lifts Stevens up, but Stevens quickly throws a back elbow of his own as Hoff lifts him! Hoff drops Stevens back onto his feet, and Stevens quickly capitalizes with a DDT THROUGH THE TABLE!!! COACH Oh my God!! ANOTHER "holy shit" chant starts up as Stevens gets to his feet relatively quickly, picking up a totally dazed Hoff and throwing him back into the ring. Stevens follows him in, and goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! THREENO!! Hoff gets a foot on the ropes! COLE Stevens hooked the near leg, but Hoff was still able to get the far one onto the bottom rope! The ref explains to Stevens, who brushes him aside and gets to his feet. Stevens whips Hoff into the ropes, then runs off the other side himself, meeting Hoff in the center of the ring with a running kneelift! Stevens makes a cover, but again can only get two! COLE Well, youi've got to hand it to Hoff...he's taken a lot but he won't stay down! CABOOSE Exactly. The mark of a TRUE champion. Stevens starts to pull Hoff up again, but Hoff meets him with a shot to the gut. From his knees, Hoff catches Stevens with a left hand to the ribs, which doubles Stevens over. Hoff gets to his feet, and quickly grabs Stevens by the neck, bringing him down with a snap swinging neckbreaker! COLE Whoa, nice neckbreaker from Hoff! COACH Yeah, but he's still down! Both men lie on the canvas after the neckbreaker, and the referee begins a ten count. COLE The early goings have definitely taken their toll on the challenger! The referee reaches three, and Hoff begins to stir. At four, Hoff is on one knee, and Stevens has rolled onto his stomach. Stevens begins to push himself up at 5, and Hoff reaches his feeet before the count of six. Hoff stalks over to Stevens, grabbing his waist and throwing him over in a gutwrench suplex! Stevens lands hard, but Hoff again shakes his right arm after the move! COACH Nice suplex by Hoff, but you have to wonder how long he'll be able to keep it up! COLE A lot of Hoff's power comes from those big arms! we'll have to see what he can do! Hoff gets to his feet, still favoring his right arm. Stevens crawls up to his knees, and Hoff pulls him up the rest of the way, catching the still-doubled over 24/7 champ with another gutwrench suplex! Hoff floats over into a cover, but Stevens kicks out at two! Hoff gets back to his feet, and pulls Stevens back to his! Hoff leaves Stevens standing woozily in the middle of the ring, then runs off of the ropes, coming off with a big clothesline! CABOOSE With his LEFT arm! Atta boy! Stevens falls to the mat, and Hoff looks down with a sick smirk as the fans jeer. Stevens gets back to his feet shakily, stubling around as Hoff runs off the ropes again. Stevens gets his bearings just in time to be leeveled by another clothesline! CABOOSE Left arm, left arm! Hoff is making lemonade out of lemons! Come on, big man! Hoff looks out to the crowd, flexing and patting his left bicep as he grins. Stevens gets to his feet slowly and Hoff waits, waits, waits....then charges off with another clothesline... CABOOSE Hoff, NO! Wrong arm! Abort! Abort!! Stevens turns and sees it coming...and GRABS the bad arm, taking Hoff down into a Fujiwara armbar!!! Hoff SHRIEKS in pain as Stevens torques the arm!! The fans go BANANARAMA!!!!!!!!!! COLE Hoff went to the well once too often, and paid for it dearly!! Hoff kicks and screams as Stevens leans back on the arm, hurling curses and obscenities back at Hoff! Hoff reaches out to the ropes, but they're well out of reach!! The referee checks on Hoff, and Hoff SCREAMS!!! COACH This could be it! Hoff holds out one hand, but doesn't tap! Hoff reaches out and drags himself slightly closer to the ropes!! Stevens raises his hips and leans back into the armbar, but Hoff inches another step closer to the ropes! Hoff reaches again, and almost brushes the bottom rope!! CABOOSE Oh he's almost there! Come on Hoff!! Hoff pulls himself closer again, and reaches...but Stevens lets go of the armbar!! In a fury, Stevens begins stomping away at Hoff's outstretched arm!! Stevens lays boots into the elbow, the shoulder, anywhere he can find! Finally, Hoff once again rolls to the outside, and Stevens kicks the ropes after him! COLE Stevens looks possessed! I think he wanted Hoff to tap! Hoff walks around the ring, holding his arm tightly, trying to dull the pain! Stevens slides out of the ring and chases after Hoff, clubbing him from behind with a forearm!! Hoff stumbles forward, and Stevens grabs him and throws him back into the ring! Stevens slides in after him, getting quickly to his feet and pulling Hoff up. Hoff cringes as Stevens grabs his right arm -- but suddenly, Stevens gets yanked forward, and Hoff BLASTS him with a short-arm clothesline!! Hoff falls as Stevens hits the mat, clutching at his right arm!! COACH Wow, what a desparation move by Hoff, but it took a lot out of him! COLE Yeah, but it floored the champion! Hoff gets back to his feet, slowly, as does the champion, but Hoff is back up first. Hoff positions his body so that his left arm faces Stevens, and Stevens stumbles forward, allowing Hoff to bend down and scoop him up into a fireman's carry position with one arm. COACH Whoa! What power! Hoff, still holding Stevens with one arm, bends backward and falls down into a Samoan Drop! The fans actually pop a bit as Hoff simply lays back into a cover! ONE! TWO! THRNO~! Stevens kicks out! Hoff sits up, then uses his good left arm to get back to his feet. Stevens climbs to his feet using the ropes, but Hoff catches him and uses his good arm to whip Stevens off the ropes. Stevens comes back, and Hoff bends down, catching him in a back body drop! Stevens sails across the ring, and slides out under the bottom rope! COLE Now Stevens is trying to get it together! Chris Stevens shakes his head, trying to clear his mind. Hoff heads over to the ropes, grabs the top rope, and vaults himself over into a flying body press -- but Stevens looks up, sidesteps him, and grabs his head on the way down, driving Hoff HARD to the floor! CABOOSE OH, NO! COLE Hoff went for it all there, and missed!! Stevens looks down as Hoff lies on the floor, and lays in a couple boots to the back of Hoff's head! Stevens picks Hoff up, rolls him back into the ring, and follows him in! COACH This could be the beginning of the end! Stevens gets to his feet and pulls Hoff up, scooping him up and bodyslamming him near the corner! Stevens heads over to the ropes! COLE Could be the Frog Splash! Stevens, though, heads to the second rope, measures, and dives off, driving a Bret Hart-style forearm to Hoff's skull! Hoff shakes from the impact, and Stevens hooks the leg and makes a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH Close call! CABOOSE You're telling me! Hoff is in trouble! Oh, why couldn't the Thrillogy be out here? COLE Because, Caboose! Hoff wanted to see if he could beat Stevens one on one, but so far he hasn't looked too good! COACH He's certainly been resillient, and resourceful, but the match has pretty much been all Stevens! Stevens pulls Hoff up, drags him to the middle of the ring, and whips him off the ropes! Hoff comes off, and Stevens throws a big superkick -- but Hoff catches his foot! Hoff spins Stevens around, and catches him with a falling clothesline! The fans boo as Hoff makes a quick cover, but only gets two! CABOOSE Nice counter, and Hoff AGAIN using that left of his for all it's worth! Hoff gets to his feet slowly, then pulls Stevens up, and hooks his right arm over Stevens' head! Hoff hooks his own head up, then uses his left arm to hoist Stevens up to the lights...hold him there...and drop him with a vertical suplex! Hoff gets up, slowly, but again beats Stevens to his feet! He pulls Stevens up again, and hooks him, and again takes him down with a vertical suplex! Hoff gets up, and pulls Stevens up again!! COACH Hoff getting some momentum back! He may be in this thing yet! Hoff hooks Stevens again, but Stevens catches him with a shot to the gut! Hoff doubles over, and Stevens quickly wraps his arms around Hoff's waist and hits him with a bridging Northern Lights Suplex! The cover! ONE!! TWO!! NO!! Hoff barely gets a shoulder off the canvas!! Stevens can't believe it and slaps the mat as he gets to his feet. Hoff gets up to one knee, and Stevens walks over to him -- but Hoff pops up, grabs Stevens, and PLANTS him with a HUGE front spinebuster~!! COACH OOEY GOOEY!! COLE Hoff catches Stevens with that spinebuster from out of NOWHERE!! The move actually draws a pretty big pop from the crowd as Hoff, favoring his right arm, crawls over to Stevens and hooks the leg! ONE!! TWO!! THREENO!!! Kickout! The fans are ecstatic!! COACH Wow, that was close!! COLE Now it might be anyone's game!! Hoff and Stevens both crawl around the mat, groggy. Hoff finds his knees before Stevens, then gets to his feet as the champion begins climbing to his with the aid of the ropes. Hoff sneaks up behind Stevens, and grabs his head from behind!! CABOOSE YES!! This is it!! It's all over!!! The fans in Vancouver come to their feet as Hoff hooks Stevens' head under his right arm! Hoff reaches down with his left, lifting Stevens up for the Future Shock!! Hoff gets Stevens up, but Stevens begins to kick his legs!! Hoff stutters, tries to keep his balance, but Stevens slips out behind Hoff!! Before Hoff can react, Stevens grabs him and drops him with a pendulum backbreacker!! CABOOSE NO!! That's not how it was supposed to happen!! The fans go crazy as Stevens looks down at Hoff...then over to the corner! Stevens climbs out of the ropes onto the apron, then heads up the turnbuckles!! COACH Froggy Splash coming up!! Stevens raises one finger into the air, screaming, and the fans come alive as Stevens jumps off the top with his Frog Splash!! AND IT MISSES!!! Hoff rolls out of the way in the nick of time!! Caboose breathes an audible sigh of relief. CABOOSE Oh, sweet Mary and Joseph, thank you. Stevens clutches at his ribs as Hoff rolls to one knee and...looks to the back. COLE What? Hey, what is Hoff doing? Hoff looks to the back, motioning for somebody to come out...and out walk Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstien to the loudest chorus of boos this side of British Columbia. CABOOSE YES!!!!!!!! COLE Aw come on! I thought Hoff said he didn't need them! COACH He said he wanted to beat Chris Stevens on his own! COLE Well, obviously, he couldn't get that done! CABOOSE Now come on, Cole! They're just here to celebrate when Hoff wins! COLE Right. Hoff gets to his feet, walking over to Stevens as Zack and Cal take their place at ringside. Hoff grabs Stevens by the hair, then whips him off the ropes, setting up for the SPINEBUSTER~...but Stevens slides under Hoff's legs! Stevens hops to his feet as Hoff turns around...and Stevens catches him with a superkick!! Hoff falls to the canvas like a ton of bricks! COACH What a kick! Hoff is OUT! COLE And Stevens is feeling it! He's gonna head up top again! Stevens does head to the outside again, and climbs up to the top rope as Hoff lies unmoving in the ring. Suddenly, Calvin Szechstein hops onto the ropes, shouting at the official! COLE Aw, come on! Chris Stevens looks on as the ref argues with Calvin as Zack Malibu sneaks to the other side without being seen! Zack quickly hops up onto the apron, shaking the ropes and causing Stevens to crotch himself on the top buckle! COACH Ouch! Hard landing! COLE Come on, someone get them out of here!! Zack shouts for Hoff to get up as Calvin hops back down to the floor. Hoff slowly begins to stir, shaking the cobwebs out of his head as he gets to his knees. Stevens is still dazed as Hoff finds his feet, and heads to the corner. Hoff climbs up to the first rope...but Stevens punches him in the face! Stevens blasts Hoff again, and the big man stumbles back onto the floor! Stevens grabs Hoff by the head, and quickly jumps off the second rope, scoring with a Tornado DDT!!! CABOOSE NO!! ACK!! HOW!! COLE He's the champion!! And he is gonna beat Hoff!! Stevens makes the cover...but there's no ref!! Stevens gets up and looks behind him, where Calvin Szechstein has AGAIN distracted the official!! Stevens walks to the scene and grabs Calvin, hurling him over the top rope and into the ring!! Stevens starts hammering on Szechstein as the fans cheer, but the referee breaks it up!! The official ushers Calvin out of the ring...and no one sees Malibu slide in the other side!! COACH Chris, look out!! Stevens jaws with Calvin as the ref escorts him out, then turns around RIGHT INTO SCHOOL'S OUT!!! COLE NO!! DAMMIT, DAMMIT, NO!! The fans are IRATE as Zack slides out of the ring. The referee turns back to the action, as Hoff slowly turns over and drapes one arm over Stevens' chest!! COLE NOT LIKE THIS!!!! ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!!! *ding ding ding* COLE DAMN IT ALL!! DAMN HOFF, DAMN THE THRILLOGY, DAMMIT!! CABOOSE YES!! HE DID IT!! I knew he would!!! I knew it all along!!! The fans begin pelting the ring with garbage as Buffer reads the decision from ringside. BUFFER The winner of this contest, and NEW Twenty-Four-Seven Champion......HOFF!!!! Zack and Calvin slide into the ring and pull Hoff to his feet, and the referee hands him his 24/7 Title. Hoff looks at it, then pulls it close to his body, literally hugging the title. Zack straps it around his waist, and Calvin polishes it, as Hoff can barely stand. Calvin clasps Hoff on the right arm, and Hoff cringes. COLE This isn't right. This isn't right at all. Hoff can barely stand, and yet... CABOOSE And yet he's the champion! He did it, Cole, he beat Stevens and won the title! COLE But he couldn't do it on his own! He needed the help of TWO MEN to take Stevens down!! Hoff climbs up to the second rope, raising his left arm into the air as the fans jeer. Hoff hops off of the ropes, and the Thrillogy celebrate...until they notice Stevens getting to his feet. COACH Aw, now come on guys, the match is over! Hoff looks at Chris Stevens, with mixed emotion showing plainly on his face. Hoff unstraps his 24/7 title, looks down at it...and SMASHES IT INTO STEVENS' FACE!! COACH DAYUM!! COLE I thought, for a second, that maybe Hoff would offer Stevens his hand. But he hasn't changed! Not one damn bit! CABOOSE I know, it's great!! Hoff knels down and shoves the 24/7 belt in front of Stevens' face, screaming obscenities. The fans boo...until a cheer runs through the crowd near the ramp!!! COLE Look! It's GUNNER!! GUNNER SHARPS!!! CABOOSE What, no! NO!! Gunner barrels down to ringside as the fans scream! Zack and Calvin quickly slide out of the ring on either side as Gunner slides in -- but Hoff remains in the ring!! CABOOSE Oh JESUS!! Hoff, GET OUT!!! Hoff doesn't hear a thing as he taunts Stevens! Finally, Hoff looks around, noticing Calvin and Zack shouting on either side!! Hoff gets to his knees, with his eyes wide...then his feet! Hoff looks to either side, unsure of what to do, as Gunner is poised behind him!! CABOOSE Oh, God, he's gonna turn around!! He always just turns around! Hoff, RUN!! GET OUT OF THE RING!! Don't-- But Hoff turns around! Hoff, knowing what's coming, charges at GUnner with a clothesline! But Gunner DUCKS!! Hoff turns around, and COLE AND COACH SHARP END!!! Gunner SPEARS Hoff out of his boots with the Sharp End!! Hoff doubles over and falls to the mat, thrashing in pain before quickly rolling out of the ring!! The fans are BALLISTIC as Gunner shouts down at Hoff!! As the Thrillogy head up the ramp, Gunner turns around and checks on Chris Stevens, who is finally back to his knees. His forehead is bleeding from the belt shot, but Chris shakes him off, and Gunner turns his attention back to Hoff. The referee runs to Hoff, handing him his 24/7 Title, which Hoff raises into the air. Gunner stands at the ropes, staring Hoff and the Thrillogy down, and Chris Stevens, his forehead busted open, joins him, shooting a vicious, bloody gaze at Hoff... *FADE TO BLACK* ------------------------------------------------------ I'm just saying, it was pretty good, is all. Not to toot my own horn, but, y'know. Y'know. Come on. //hard sell

Also, Adam, Stevens was actually the champ going into the match...so yeah.

I mean, I'm JUST SAYING, that Hoff/Stevens match from August 12th was pretty good....you know, just so you know...y'know.... ..... By the way, I have my internet back, for the three of you who care (you know who you are).

DEFINITELY: Chris Stevens and "Jumbo" Montana are in the house! Could Stevens be looking to nake a statement? PROBABLY: Earlier this week, Josh Matthews flew to the Minneapolis residence of Hoff to sit down and discuss the current situation with the big man. We will be presenting that interview in three installments over the next three weeks. Part One airs tomorrow night. SPOILERS: Chris Stevens (w/Jumbo) v. Phoenix. And if I don't get to the interview, I'll just make it a two-parter.

How about a HD Match of the Year? We had some good ones, Crystal/Sly, Drek/Crystal, Drek/Calvin...Hoff/Stevens...I'm JUST saying....

Bah.

Well sure, not a problem. *fastens head back on*

*picks up head* *HEADSHOT TO DREK OMG* That's right, with my own damn head. Hoff is teh hardcore.

All right, let's face some facts here. Hoff was the hottest act going in '04, and the momentum is gonna pick right up in the new year. Drek's great and all, but he's gonna look like another tired chump. You bring that beltshot, O Prince.

Not to veer off-topic, but let me ask: do you think he could ever be a serious contender for the World Championship? I think he's great, and I'm not one to get carried away about size, but he's so small. But I'm with you, he does need to be given a fair shake of some kind.

Hey Kotzy, do you have the standard replica or the deluxe one (with the real leather)? And how is it holding up? I've wanted that for awhile.

Damn straight. I forgot all about the WCW US Title! That was a really great looking belt, as well. Not to make more of a strap of leather and some metal than they are, but that US Title and the Michaels/Hart/Hennig IC belt both just...LOOKED like important titles. Something to be proud of. Frankly, the oval IC belt they use now doesn't do it for me.

I was liking Amy's character, personally. It could create an interesting dynamic within the group, between her and Jordan. A friend of mine speculated it could even prompt him making a US Title run, to show JBL that's he's the top guy on staff (after JBL presumably showers Amy with attention).

Angle/Mysterio should be the standard by which TV matches are judged. I'm not saying it wasn't PPV quality -- it was -- but, it could easily have aired on Smackdown or Raw. It just shows that you CAN do so much with limited time.

I miss that guy. The Thanksgiving show will go on as planned. I plan on getting home between 8 and 9 EST, so yeah. Before then. Ideally before 8, hopefully I can duck out early. By the way, a coupla notes... - If you have more than one segment, it's much easier for me if you can send them separately. Not a big deal, but a point of convenience. - If you're going to want formatted text, please send your segment using the CODE tags. It makes my job, like, super way easier. Thanks! NEXT WEEK: CHRIS STEVENS talks about why he'll be the next OAOAST Champion! And hopefully more, or that'll be a right boring show!

All right, I edited it in. IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ THE SHOW, READ IT AGAIN, THERE IS A NEW SEGMENT IN BEFORE THE DREK/RAGDOLL CONFRONTATION. Anyway, good show, LOTS of matches so yay!