Shit, even I know THAT.
AND, even if you don't want to do all that and break the law, you're going to find thick enough ladies there who will do you proper.
Was it Sandman or Milky that talked about the thick ass stripper who made it feel like he was fucking her through his jeans?
Go out there, these chicks want money, you want honey.
With where you're coming from, I doubt you'd last three minutes anyways...