PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH!

Books about giant, shape-shifting spiders really tug at my heartstrings. That shit's fuckin real, man.

People who say Pynchon is all head and no heart really aren't that good at reading Pynchon. Gravity's Rainbow has some of the most moving scenes I've ever encountered in literature.

There's a huge difference between a popular uprising and having a foreign power invade. Seriously. Can some people honestly not understand that, or are they just being deliberately obtuse?

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God? Repost this as Love vs. Sex!!!!! PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what.....and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you. I bet 93% of you people that read this wont repost

check ur PMs

He looks like a pretty big tool in the "non-doctored" photo, too.

A punishment worse than death.

Rick Santorum lol http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/111...006-728120.html

But there wouldn't be bombs or suicide bombings or insurgent attacks if we hadn't invaded.

Ahahaha. Is this scarsam?

Things couldn't have been that bad before the Magna Carta, could they?

up a tree with a rope lol

Liquid Swords is better than 36 Chambers.

LCD Soundsystem's "45:33: Nike+ Original Run" (available on iTunes now!) is maybe the best musical thing I've heard all year. Better than that TV on the Radio album, even.

My Intro to English class was the worst. The professor, a black woman of Caribbean descent, focused almost exclusively on postcolonial feminist bullshit and managed to turn nearly every class into a discussion about how oppressive the white male patriarchy is. She was also really disorganized and didn't seem to care about the class too much. And Jane Eyre was on the reading list. Ughh.

Lily Allen, guys. Lily Allen. http://youtube.com/watch?v=9KVOMuTx5NA

Some of the best teachers I've ever had have been English teachers. So was the absolute worst.

I could argue for this, probably, though his self-cultivated inaccessibility is a big hitch depending on how we're defining greatest author. The only Joyce I've read is Ulysses and I really only "got" about 35% of that. I've been meaning to re-read it but I just can't seem to muster up the energy. Oh well.

I'd go for a William Gaddis reference but I've never been able to get farther than 100 pages into one of his books.

You missed some pretty good zingers.

http://www.nypress.com/16/35/news&columns/feature.cfm

holla

all black people are gang members.

Joanna Newsom's voice would be a deal breaker no matter what she looked like. Ughh. Also, Lily Allen is sexier than everyone mentioned so far in this thread rawr.

10. "I don’t consider it a credible report, neither does General Casey and neither do Iraqi officials. I do know that a lot of innocent people have died and it troubles me and grieves me. And I applaud the Iraqis for their courage in the face of violence. I am, you know, amazed that this is a society which so wants to be free that they’re willing to — you know, that there’s a level of violence that they tolerate." (George W. Bush)