JHawk

From the 3-1-2000 Thunder (because we gotta get off this Jericho kick and shake things up a bit): Chavo Guerrero Jr.: "Well, Gene, I - I had a little - business problems there, you know, um, you know that multi-level marketing program that I subscribed to? Well it turned out to be a, ah, fiscal albatross resulting in the net worth of my liquid assets downsizing to the point where my venture capital could not sustain the - the equity rates of, uh exchange! ...Well, what I'm trying to say in layman's terms is ...I went broke. But! Butbutbut don't fret, you know, I'm back and I got my eye on the Cruiserweight championship - what's that gotta be worth, what, fifteen or twenty grand, something like that?"

It started with her trying to imitate Ernest Miller (which sucked) before going into the hoochie on the dance floor stuff. Just a waste of ten minutes. Eh, about one minute or so of the hoochie dancing is alright. It was the other nine minutes that were boring and brutal to sit through. So, how's it compare to last year when she had a quick T&A match vs. Dawn Marie? Of course...that was during *that* angle. The T & A match at least pretends to have something to do with wrestling. But then again, it was during that angle, so call it a draw.

I forgot about that, and I was still doing Raw back then too. Damn. They're constantly mentioning how Benoit made Brock tap, but the crowd seemed kinda split between Benoit and Cena last night. Not really a bad reaction, but I've seen guys with better reactions not get this close to the title hunt. I've seen one or two other people use it too. Can't remember who because most people are usually bitching at Anglesault for it, so they get buried. The Bashams are still the champs, but if you want to see the tag team division, it's been relegated to Velocity for the most part. Hell if I know who the top contenders are at this point. It started with her trying to imitate Ernest Miller (which sucked) before going into the hoochie on the dance floor stuff. Just a waste of ten minutes.

then your rehab sucks Isn't that an oxymoron? uh...no...YOU'RE an oxymoron I've never seen a rehab with internet access either. Then again, I've never been in rehab, so my saying that doesn't really prove anything. Anyway, hurry back, CWM.

SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (11/27/2003) A day late due to the holiday and working a shitty retail job, but still the usual...um...stuff. If Dames could pin this so people actually realize I wrote it this week, I'd appreciate it. Feedback it.

Over at Circuit City, I get to walk around the music department and tell people who are too stupid to look for the signs that say "Pop/Rock" or "Rap" where Bruce Springsteen and Outkast are located. We open at 6am (I have to be there at 5:30) and I get to go home at 1pm. But I got so distraught from setting up for it tonight that I'm ready to tell my managers to shove it already. Hell, until yesterday I thought I was going to be off at 9 tonight and then I found out I was "scheduled" until 10 because they needed people to get the store ready for Black Friday. And here I thought they were supposed to ask me if I could stay the extra hour...

It's a linking game guys, don't forget that. From Nitro: Chris Jericho: "Because you see, JoJo Dillon, in the 1948 NWA rulebook that I found in the Library of Congress, it states..."

Actually, check the tape. Mike Chioda called for the bell while Orton was in the ring and Chioda was trying to get Flair off the apron. How can anybody say Triple H had the title won fairly when it took Orton's interference to set up the Pedigree in the first place? And I wanna know when Hunter's going to have that litter of puppies that he's carrying around.

I'll agree with you on the bodypress, particularly the version he does that looks like a standing frog splash, but I'll disagree with you on the dropkick. Maven and Mark Jindrak both get higher in the air on their dropkicks, and so could Bob Holly before the last injury.

Royal Rumble 1988, after Vince McMahon bitched at Jesse Ventura about his grammer: Ventura: "McMahon, this is cable. I can say 'ain't'."

From a Piper's Pit on WWF Superstars: Andre the Giant: "I'm here to challenge you for World Championship match in the WrestleMania." Hulk Hogan [almost pleading]: "No, Andre, this isn't happening. Please." Bobby Heenan: "You don't believe that, Hogan? Maybe you'll believe this!" [Andre rips Hogan's T-shirt and cross off his body.]

And I Quit has a lead with old school steel cage a close second, at least for now.

Why does Kanyon always say "Who betta than Kanyon" when he never wins a match?

I just hope my brother can find it so I can get the only thing I actually want for Christmas.

I just got totally confused and I invented the game. We'll use the Outsiders-Steiners thing though since it's the last quote there and did properly link from my quote. WCW Monday Nitro (May 4, 1998). Kevin Nash has just formed the red and black of the nWo Wolfpac. Nash: "Hogan, you get your crew, I'll get my crew, we'll rendezvous."

Dragnet being cancelled really pisses me off, but it didn't exactly need the facelift either. Coupling was horribly miscast (although they did get Jane right) and the British version is just ten times better (mostly because of that cast having perfect chemistry), but had they not hyped it as the next Friends when everybody's sick of the original Friends it'd have been OK. And how the fuck does The Mullets have any possibility of coming back? But my biggest gripe: Most of these shows got less than six episodes to catch on. Would it really kill the networks to at least give their shows one sweeps period to try to draw an audience? I mean, 95% of shows are green-lighted for a set amount of episodes (usually six or 13), so you might as well...you know...let the show have that many episodes to catch on.

How a fool's heart aches....with every step you take... Oh, sorry, I thought this was karaoke night for a second.

It seems pretty obvious this is a play off of Anglesault's thread. I'll refrain from the obvious bathroom jokes that could go with this thread though.

And interestingly enough, when she died she got a graphic on the screen acknowledging it as Raw went on the air. So there you go. Sapphire was more important to the WWWFE than Crash Holly

Mr. Jackson, could you wear the bustier tonight? It makes me feel funny...

Here's a thought. Why has nobody ever called out a black rapper for talking about how much better black women are to white women? Oh yeah, I know. BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING OPINION! Don't get me wrong. Racism is not a good thing at all. But that's when the cries of racism are legit. Some black men prefer white women to black women too. Are they racist too? Or does that not count? In this case, the guy is using lyrics from a song that was recorded ten years ago. If you absolutely have to try to bring the man down, at least use something fairly recent so you don't come off looking like a total jackass. I'm not even an Eminem fan, but any cry of racism that seems unfounded pisses me off.

Which angle were you talking about? The Chavo thing? I'm guessing Hardcore Holly-Brock since it didn't involve Eddy. But I actually liked that angle.

The 7/13/1998 Nitro. Chris Jericho: "JoJo, you tell Ron Mysterio Jr. to GIVE ME BACK MY BELT! Come on, Ron!" NOTE: You could link to J.J. Dillon ("JoJo") and Rey Misterio Jr. ("Ron Mysterio Jr.") if you're not familiar with Jericho's gimmick at the time.

SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (11/20/2003) Funny how SmackDown has better talent and yet none of it ever seems to make the show.

Thanks for the clarification, Deacon, since I was too lazy to proofread. From Nitro. Kevin Nash (as he and Scott Hall are being escorted from the building): Come on, guys. I'll buy you a doughnut. Hall: "Coffee and doughnuts on The Outsiders."