JHawk

So let me get this straight. Writing a PPV that actually take the length of a full PPV to actually read doesn't get you the number one rating? Is that right? Writing summary stuff that I could read during a commercial of Raw = ratings. Is that right? Different strokes, I guess. Still, #5 ain't too shabby.

I dunno, I enjoyed it. Much better than the Grudge since at least I jumped in my seat once or twice. The aforementioned reindeer scene was kickass, and the crowd I was in popped huge for Rachel going "I'm not your fucking mommy." Hardly on Exorcist 1 type levels, but certainly not bad.

Had Crush been pinned in the ring, Savage wouldn't have been able to win. It would have counted as though Crush had returned to the ring. That's what I got out of it, at least.

Eh, American audiences almost always pull for the underdog. Otherwise, why make the journey if they're only going to lose? That's why they changed the ending of Dodgeball, test audiences hated it. What was the real ending? EDIT: Or original. Without spoiling the real ending for anyone who didn't see it, I'd say it was probably the exact opposite.

We've actually got the same situation at my Circuit City right now. Technically, we could sell the actual games since they've hit their street date. But...say the systems sell out on the 24th and someone who bought Need for Speed can't play it because they have no PSP. We're not even allowed to take special orders on them if we sell out despite the fact that they want someone here 3 hours before open to pass out vouchers to buy the damn thing.

Dusty Rhodes at SuperBrawl VII. My favorite color commentary call, ever. "What's the matter, Acey baby, did you lose? Oh, I'm sorry. It was my fault!"

Some guy actually tried to convince me that the chorus to "Bad Medicine" was as follows: Thoreau is like Ralph Emerson Ralph Emerson is what I read

I don't remember seeing his name listed, so allow me to draft P Don Drysdale. Bravesfan is on the clock.

So what's the point of Brown turning? His entire gimmick has been essentially based around winning the NWA World Title. How is he supposed to do that when he's on Jarrett's side? Definitely sounds like a one match show though.

Hey, it'll give me time to hit the warroom for my next pick, so no worries from me.

Whatever the hometown park for the Senators was in fine.

Friday and Saturday are both going to be bad for me, but I'll try to at least PM a few picks before then if need be. Anyway, for his second pick, the Washington Senators select OF Tris Speaker. Hard to go wrong with a career .345 batting average and a .417 OBP. I believe that means bravesfan is on the clock.

First off, since someone already chose to represent the Cleveland Spiders (Dammit), I'm going to represent the Washington Senators. On that note, the Senators select P Walter Johnson.

I have a feeling there will definitely be a Jay Hawke promo coming out of all this on Saturday. Yes, I really think so.

The last Raw right before the Royal Rumble in 1996 had the Goldust-Razor Ramon brawl in the snow, and when Razor attacks Goldust, you've got poor Michael Hayes running for his life going "Oh shit". Funny since it was taped three weeks earlier.

You know what I've noticed? Just about all of our choices for "worst arena name" have been buildings named after some corporation who bought the naming rights. I'm waiting for high schools to start doing that. Imagine the state basketball championships being decided at "Larry's Super Pawn Gymnasium".

This could be real interesting. I'm in.

Question about the double titles match: I'm assuming I'm supposed to write my own match and not collaborate with my partner considering my partner's title is also on the line. Am I right?

It did feature one of the greatest false finish sequences I've ever seen, as I was getting ready to jump out of my front row seat for the title change. But yeah, other than that, nothing too special at all. And Nigel-Cabana = comic genius!

Why did you choose that name for your character? Because I'm an unoriginal bastard! Basically, I've had the JHawk nickname since high school and figured "Jay Hawke" was the easiest thing since everybody already called me that anyway. I even toyed around with the idea of making him British but thought saying "bloody hell" all the time would get old. Why do they look the way they do? The character is essentially done up to look like me if I bulked up some. The outfit is based off of various incarnations of the CAW for myself on the SmackDown games. Why is their character the way it is, and is this different from how you originally envisaged them? The character basically started out in the old HOWF as being a slightly older version of me. I keep evolving the character just a little bit every so often to keep it from getting stale. I went through a bit of a Stone Cold phase with it for awhile. The "Dean of Wrestling" thing came about on a lark when I was doing an RP for the efed I ran for six years, the High Impact Wrestling Federation, and I came up with the line "I'm going to teach you a wrestling lesson you'll never forget." The idea just came into my head to do a Dean Douglas-type character but without all the grading bullshit. Probably the most fun I've ever had with this character was when I did an "amnesia from a bump to the head" angle for about six weeks and thought I was everybody from Ric Flair to Dusty Rhodes to Terry Funk. If there was one thing you would want your character remembered for, what would it be? I just want people to think I had a damn entertaining run, honestly. After a World Title run, of course.

Main Event – Non-Title Grudge Match Toxxic © vs. “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins Toxxic Martial Law Martial Law (Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez) vs. Austin Sly and Sean Davis Martial Law Tag Team Curtain Jerk-O-Rama Scott Pretzler and “The Dean of Professional Wrestling” Jay Hawke vs. Manson and Alan Clark Unless they're pushing somebody hard for the cruiserweight title, the cocky heels take it. That might be bias talking though.

Dr. Sam Beckett saves the day but doesn't get to return home. Capt. Kirk is gonna make out with the alien chick.

Odds are that in soap operas, the father of an expectant mother's baby isn't the boyfriend/husband of the expectant mother. The Fonz would hit the jukebox and get it started. Any scheme Kramer could come up with would somehow backfire.

Edited as of 6-7-05 Preliminary Question: How did you find us/hear about us? TSM Smarks Board Name: JHawk Wrestlers Name: "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke Height: 5'9" Weight: 215 Hometown: Cleveland, OH Age: 29 Face/Heel: Heel Stable: Ring Escort: Weapon(s): lead pipe Quote: "You're going to be taught a wrestling lesson you'll never forget, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!" Looks: Hawke comes to the ring wearing a Ric Flair-esque purple and black robe. He keeps his light brown hair cut short and usually remains clean-shaven, although he'll grow a goatee on occasion. Once in the ring, he removes his robes, showing a well-built but not too muscular frame. He wears black tights with "Dean" written in purple down both legs and "Class is in session" in purple on his ass. He finishes his ensemble with a pair of black boots with purple soles and laces. Ring Entrance: "Learning to Fly" by Pink Floyd comes on the PA as the lights dim. Ring Announcer: Introducing...from the Hall of Fame City of Cleveland, Ohio, and weighing in at 215 pounds...he is "The Dean of Professional Wrestling"...Jay Hawke! A spotlight shines on Jay Hawke as he makes his way to the ring. As Hawke makes his way onto the ring apron, he takes off his robe, folds it, and hands it to the ring attendant. Then he stands up on the turnbuckle with both arms in the air as the crowd boos. Stats: ¯¯¯¯¯ Strength: 4 Speed: 6 Vitality: 5 Charisma: 5 Style: Jay Hawke relies on technical wrestling but can take to the air if need be. Signature moves: Fujiwara armbar shoulderbreaker short arm scissors Rings of Saturn dragon sleeper blockbuster front facelock into a DDT (NOT a transition move and designed to KO the opponent) surfboard Common moves: belly-to-back superplex chokehold diving headbutt faceslam legdrop swinging neckbreaker sunset flip roundhouse kick camel clutch inverted DDT onto the knee springboard lariat tilt-a-whirl backbreaker leg lariat backflip cradle German suplex STF Rare moves: Burning Hammer diamond dust Finishers: Jay Hawke's primary finisher is a submission hold called the Wing Span. It's a crossface chickenwing with a twist, as Hawke uses his legs to scissor the opponent's other arm. His secondary finisher is a moonsault called the Hawke Swoop, but it's notable because instead of landing with a bodypress, he lands with a kneedrop onto his opponent. This is only to be used in extreme situations where the Wing Span hasn't worked and should not be debuted until a title is on the line. Notes: Jay Hawke is out of an old school cloth where he prefers to wear down a body part to weaken it for the finish. Notice that most of his common moves affect the neck and back, while the signature moves mostly affect the arms. Once he begins to use the signature moves, odds are it's just a matter of time before the Wing Span comes into play. Bio: Jay Hawke began wrestling September 12, 1996, losing to Knightrous in the now-defunct High Octane Wrestling Federation. It was a minor setback, as he would win the HOWF Tag Team Title once and the HOWF National Title twice, retiring the latter title in March 1997. From there, he moved onto the High Impact Wrestling Federation based out of Cleveland. Although he wrestled largely in tag team matches in the HIWF (holding the HIWF Tag Team Title seven times), he holds the record as the longest-reigning HIWF World Champion (five months), as well as multiple reigns as United States and Hardcore Champion. He also had a cup of coffee with the Missouri Wrestling Alliance Cruiserweight Title in 2000. Hawke's career took a setback in 2002 when he retired after suffering his second serious neck injury in as many years. He has spent the last two years training promising wrestlers at the Legion of Pain Compound in Cleveland, but has gotten the itch to return to the ring.

Eh, whatever. Honestly, I don't even like rap music. but right now I'd blast it just because it isn't directly banned if you actually read their guidelines. Anyway, just a couple of things I noticed last night looking at this since I needed a good laugh. Does that include....WAIT FOR IT...gold crosses? Um...isn't it easier to see certain body parts you probably shouldn't be seeing when you're wearing a skirt as opposed to wearing shorts? And isn't that basically the only difference? OK, so they mean lyou can wear long skirts, but I don't know too many people with a knee fetish. So much for closet lesbians. Sesame Street is banned, but you can put a pistol into storage as long as the safety is on. Seriously. And people wonder why Christianity gets a bum rap these days.