JHawk

Welcome to a JHawk original: Old School Wrestling. What you are about to see is a fantasy. The only limitations are the limits of your imagination. In this fantasy promotion, wrestlers from many different eras converge to arenas from many different eras for the ultimate in professional wrestling competition. Want to see Ric Flair vs. Lou Thesz from the Kiel Auditorium in St. Louis? Ricky Steamboat vs. Paul London from the Charlotte Coliseum? Hulk Hogan vs. Bruno Sammartino from Madison Square Garden? What about The Great Muta vs. Rikidozan from the Tokyo Dome? Unlike the claims of some real life wrestling promotions, in Old School Wrestling, anything truly can happen. Here are the basics: For simplicity's sake, I'll be using February 28, 2004 as the formation date of the promotion (just to have something to tie it together...it has no real bearing on anything) and will go from there. The one hour weekly syndicated TV show, Superstar Challenge, will air live on Saturdays in most markets. The roster will have 20 wrestlers to start, and I will limit signings to four wrestlers per week (although it will be less than that more often than not). The two top titles will obviously be the OSW World Heavyweight Title and the OSW World Tag Team Title, with several minor championships to also be decided (names of those to be determined). Large events will eventually be monthly, but not until the promotion has become established. With that in mind, welcome to Old School Wrestling. I'll be posting these one show at a time, and how often they appear depends on real-life time constraints. Initial Signings Heels: The Sheik (w/Eddie "The Brain" Creatchman) Black Gordman Nikolai Volkoff Gorgeous George Afa (w/Capt. Lou Albano) Sika (w/Capt. Lou Albano) Bill Irwin Kurt Von Hess (w/Al Costello) Buddy Rogers Killer Kowalski Matt Hardy Nunzio Faces: Bobo Brazil Johnny Valentine Luis Martinez Buddy Landell Ted DiBiase Mark Lewin Andre the Giant Spanky OSW Superstar Challenge (February 28, 2004) from the Chicago Coliseum in Chicago, IL :00-:01 Gordon Solie introduces us to Old School Wrestling :01-:04 Interview: Johnny Valentine discusses his plans for Old School Wrestling and puts over his opponet for tonight, Killer Kowalski. :04-:18 One fall with a 15 minute time limit: Kurt Von Hess (w/Al Costello) vs. Spanky Spanky keeps Von Hess at bay early on with aerial tactics, getting a couple of early near falls off of a moonsault bodyblock and a flying forearm. A distraction by Al Costello gives Von Hess a chance to attack Spanky from behind, and he brawls with Spanky for several minutes to keep him grounded. Von Hess wears Spanky down with a clawhold, then whips Spanky into the ropes. Spanky counters a side slam attempt with a flying headscissors, then sunset flips an off-balance Von Hess for the win at 10:40. ***1/2 :18-:20 COMMERCIAL BREAK :20-:23 Interview: Mark Lewin and Bobo Brazil discuss the formation of their teams and their intention to be the first OSW Tag Team Champions. :23-:26 One fall with a 15 minute time limit: Killer Kowalski vs. Johnny Valentine Kowalski attacks Valentine before the bell and attempts to beat Valentine down, but Valentine quickly comes back and sends Kowalski flying out of the ring with an incredible uppercut. Kowalski tries to enter the ring...but security grabs him and takes him to the locker room as the bell rings repeatedly. The official word: the Illinois State Athletic Commissioner in attendance has disqualified Kowalski and has sent a replacement opponent to the ring. :26-:29 Johnny Valentine vs. "Wild" Bill Irwin (sub. for Killer Kowalski) Valentine wastes no time disposing of his unprepared opponent, blocking a forearm smash and taking Irwin down with an elbow to the head for the pin in just 40 seconds. 3/4* for the entire segment. Almost immediately, Kowalski is once again making his way to the ring, and again security tries to keep him from reaching the ring as Gordon Solie heads over with a microphone. :29-:32 Interview: Killer Kowalski complains about the decision, claiming that you can't be disqualified when the bell hasn't rung. He then issues a challenge to Valentine for a rematch "anytime, anywhere", then makes one more charge to the ring. Valentine knocks him off the apron with a forearm smash as security rushes into the ring to keep them separated. :32-:34 COMMERCIAL BREAK :34-:37 Interview: Nikolai Volkoff discusses his match tonight with Luis Martinez and mentions the possibility of a new tag team partner. :37-:51 Two out of Three Falls with TV time remaining: The Wild Samoans (w/Capt. Lou Albano) vs. "The Master of the Coco BUTT" Bobo Brazil and "Maniac" Mark Lewin FIRST FALL: The Samoans keep Brazil isolated for most of the fall, using some solid double teaming and preventing Brazil from making the tag. However, Afa wastes time to taunt the crowd, then runs into Brazil's knife-edge chop. One Coco BUTT later, and Brazil pins Afa for the first fall in 5:13. Between falls, footage is shown of a cameraman running into an unknown location backstage, and we eventually see Nikolai Volkoff and Kurt Von Hess beating down Luis Martinez. Gordon Solie thinks we know who Volkoff's new partner is. SECOND FALL: Afa appears to even up the match with a powerslam in the first 30 seconds, but referee James Callas rules it a two-count. Afa argues, then turns around and walks into a Brazil small package for an even closer near fall. Brazil finally tags Lewin in after avoiding Sika's charge in the corner, and he maintains control until he walks into a chop from Sika. Sika whips Lewin into the corner, but Lewin side steps, then locks a stunned Sika into an abdominal stretch. Sika doesn't tap, but he does pass out while in the hold, giving the Brazil/Lewin team the win in two straight falls at 10:25 total. DUD :51-:53 COMMERCIAL BREAK :53-1:00 One fall with TV time remaining: Nikolai Volkoff vs. Spanky (sub. for the previously attacked Luis Martinez) Spanky has told the athletic commission that he wants to wrestle in Martinez's place, and they've agreed. And Spanky uses aerial tactics to keep Volkoff off-balance, getting a flying bodypress for 2. Volkoff clotheslines Spanky to gain an advantage and uses his power to his advantage until he misses a kneedrop. A flying forearm by Spanky, and he goes for Sliced Bread #2, but in comes Kurt Von Hess to attack Spanky and give Spanky a DQ victory at 5:27. DUD Volkoff and Von Hess double team Spanky until Luis Martinez, his head wrapped up in a heavy ace bandage, runs in for the save as we run out of TV time.

I'd still feel more confident if Orton was getting a reaction more like "I hope somebody kicks his ass" a la old school Roddy Piper or The Honky Tonk Man. You know, where all that matters is someone beats him and you're happy. That being said, Orton should probably go over at WrestleMania should the one-on-one match go down. If a win over Foley doesn't get him the kind of reaction they want, nothing will.

Maybe saying they weren't into Orton was a poor choice of words, but it certainly didn't matter that he was out there. They weren't into Val Venis either, but they also weren't trying to shove Val Venis down our throats like he was the second coming of Lou Thesz or something either.

The sad thing is the current WWE style is a very basic wrestling style that features holds that most people with decent training should be able to do by the time they first wrestle in an armory or high school gym. Extended armbars don't bother me, but some of these guys don't even seem to know how to sell one properly.

I've seen the tape twice now, and all I heard were two "Foley" chants and a rash of boos when Orton did the "bang bang" to mock Foley. The only one of those three instances that I can definitely give Orton credit for is when he did the bang bang, and I acknowledged that. I can see where you'd argue the point that the Foley chants were designed to get under Orton's skin, but considering they were kind of random I saw them more as "Where the hell is Foley to save us?" If Orton's as over as some people claim, then why the crowd dead silent when they weren't chanting "Foley"? It sure as hell wasn't because the match was bad, because it wasn't. And even if we consider that to be "over", it certainly doesn't make him over enough to warrant getting as much TV time as he does and holding the Intercontinental Title. At least the reaction would definitely be based on him, even if other people around here didn't think so. Except Brock throws a fit whenever they chant 'Goldberg'. Chavo throws a fit whenever they chant 'Eddy'. Orton doesn't really react to it much. It's as if he doesn't even realize that's what it's for. Christ, I've never even said I hate Orton. In fact, I'm one of the ones who doesn't always say he sucks. But it sure as hell sounded like that crowd was into Foley and not Orton. I could have gotten the same reaction by saying Foley's a coward and going "bang bang", but that doesn't mean I'd be considered a good heel because of it.

Allow me to quote a couple of things to make my point. And... Listen to the tape. Outside of Orton's "bang bang" and a couple of "Foley" chants, the crowd is dead for that match. Therefore, there was no reaction for the match, only for Foley. That's not "contradicting bullshit", that's paying attention. Hell, I like Randy Orton more than most here, but if the only way he can get a reaction is by mocking Foley, it's stupid to say anything else. That's not fabricated, that's the truth. Unless you consider dead silence to be "heat".

The most annoying thing about this to me? This kid could go to any public swimming pool and... *GASP* ...see beautiful women in swimsuits! And that's been true since before he ever knew what a swimsuit was. What the fuck has this world come to when wearing a swimsuit is considered detrimental to society?

Raw from JHawk's Beak (2/23/2004) You know the drill.

Although it will never happen, I say yes. You would still have to be an American citizen, and if you're not a natural-born citizen then you usually need to pass an American history test to even become a citizen. While the loyalty thing may be an issue, it doesn't necessarily mean they won't be loyal. Bob Hope wasn't born in the United States, but if you argued that he wasn't loyal to America after all those USO performances then you'd probably be bitched at by pretty much everybody.

I just posted that in the old school forum. I would've sworn the "You're in Cleveland" chant kept up for more than a minute though. I remember Road Dogg burying his head in the turnbuckle after the match and Cole saying something like, "Road Dogg obviously exhausted after that hard fought match." They've got to release that segment unedited on a future dvd. I'd buy it just for that. (Funniest Moments Volume 2?) Well, they cut about 1:40 out of the match, so the chant could have gone as long as that. I really don't remember for sure. I remember being highly pissed off when the show aired and they'd edited all that out, because I had told my brother "I can't wait to hear what Lawler's gotta say about this." The one time I actually cared what Lawler had to say and they edited the match. Honorable mention: Ric Flair's promo during the commercial break at the November 3 Raw. "This is Batista! He'll crack your vertebrae! He'll break your spine!" Vintage "I'm about to have a heart attack in the middle of a promo" Flair.

The title pretty much says it all. What are your favorite moments from TV tapings that for whatever reason never made air? Mine: A SmackDown taping in Cleveland just before No Mercy 2000. Road Dogg forgets where he is and goes "Detroit Rock City, welcome to the Dogg House!" The crowd completely turns on him and makes Raven the defacto face, pausing to chant "You're in Cleveland" for about a minute straight. The match is conveniently edited so that not only is Road Dogg's blunder off the air, but the match is cut from just over four minutes to about 2:35 to edit out the crowd chant. What are yours?

Wasn't The Rock interview in question taped in Cleveland? IIRC, that was where he went off of Stephanie McMahon too. "That two dollar...no, fifty cent...no, buy one get one free anybody have change for a nickel slut..." I've still never heard that interview in its entirety because I laugh that hard everytime I hear it.

Far fetched. And sadly, still more plausible than anything else that WWE's creative team will think of.

still here But this report makes it official that they're on life support. How so? Read the report. 1. They're losing money. 2. People are losing interest in the product. 3. They're trying one pretaped show a month and aren't sure how it will affect buyrates. If the pretaped shows can maintain the same buyrates they're used to getting (or even improve based off the spoiler reports), they'll probably be fine. But tax breaks or no tax breaks, at some point Panda Energy is going to cut their losses if the current trend continues. The fact that I haven't seen one episode of TNA since August because the lineups haven't interested me in the least worries me. The fact that I can predict about 90% of the match winners after not seeing a show in six months makes me really worry about the potential profitability of the company.

The Sportatorium in Dallas. The Olympic Auditorium in Los Angeles. Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto. And of course the big three for the WWF. Many historic matches in those six venues.

Val Venis

Chris Jericho

But if Shawn would have won King of the Ring, we wouldn't be able to look so fondly on the Diesel-Mabel SummerSlam main event!

At least RoH seems to know what their fans want and actually books for them. It doesn't always make sense, but they almost always eat it up. TNA hasn't figured it out in 19 monhts.

Notice that even though WrestleMania VIII was an awesome card, the original lineup still sounds better? The WWF was feeling it in early-1992.

February 5, 1996 (with a "rematch" on the 2/10 WCW Saturday Night that had been taped a few weeks prior). Was that when Woman, who started appearing with Savage beginning with January's Clash of the Champions, joined Flair / Anderson / Benoit? I remember it being a few weeks before SuperBrawl. If the date of that match is correct, it would have been a world title defense for Savage. The Nitro match was a defense for Savage, and that was the day Woman joined Flair and company. The Saturday Night match was billed as title defense for Savage on TV but had actually been taped before Savage won the title (I want to say 1/17 but I'm not totally positive about it).

Hogan-Mr. Perfect. Six months of buildup to get blown off in a meaningless Saturday Night's Main Event match a month after WrestleMania VI.

Eddy hadn't been cheating during the latest comeback, but he had been cheating pretty much the entire match before the commercial (particularly hiding that choke from Angle after complaining of the hair pull). But Chavo was cheating too so it's still kind of a stretch.

I could swear I taped that show and I don't remember the angle. Did they ever do a one-on-one Austin-Bulldog match before the reformation of the Hart Foundation? They spent a long time building that up and I don't remember it.

TNA being run by jackasses? Well, you asked.