Jump to content
TSM Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Guest Korgath

Metal Comments

Recommended Posts

Guest Korgath

Well, good show to all who won. Let's keep the momentum going.

 

Major mark out for Spike Jenkins, though. Wooooooooooooo!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well fuck all. Spike Jenkins returns, and beats one of the biggest up and comers in the JL today. Zed said it was close, but if you can get close with him and still win, you definitely rank up there. My hat is off to you, Spike.

 

Anyways, some good looking matches to reassert my faith in the JL after some definite roster problems, though I hope the ME wasn't a Double No-show and Thoth wasn't online or something... Meh, who am I kidding. I'm really disappointed in both MEers right now for what looks like a double no-show. *Shakes head*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest vitriol

it was a double no-show. I had planned on quitting, actually, because I can't seem to get into this stuff...but I'm gonna give it one more try. If I no show again, that's it for good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got to give props to Dragon, as I'm sure it was very close, and I'm still trying to figure out how I actually won a match.

 

 

Uh huh, I'm back *does a Irish jig*

 

 

 

Edit: Oh yeah, and comment on my match. I want to shake off the "ring rust" as you might say it, so help a brother out a little bit.

Edited by HollywoodSpikeJenkins

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The main event was indeed a double no show. While I'm understandably disappointed about this, I'm pleased to see a much better turnout overall than we had on the last show. Therefore, rewards aplenty on the Wrath card... go check it out. Seriously. Go ahead. Why are you still here?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I got to give props to Dragon, as I'm sure it was very close, and I'm still trying to figure out how I actually won a match.

It was a good match, and you deserved to win. I didn't quite get a handle on mine, and from time restraints I had to write it all in one go, which never helps me. Plus, I realised after sending it in that I'd re-used a finish from only a few weeks ago. Oops.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Comments of the head booker guy dude!

 

First off, on the overall, much better show than the last few with a lot more effort going into the matches--with the exception of the main event, which was... disappointing. Anyway, now keep it up, and I'm a happy dude.

 

Anyway, some match-by-match quickie comments!

 

Jay Morrison: As mentioned in your promo comments, I'm sorry for thinking you were dead. Heh. It's doubly good, because you've got potential to go to the top with some effort. About as strong a three-way I've seen from someone with your experience, although there were some visible weak spots--the description, while adequite, could've used some polish to make the tree-way a bit more coherant. There were also mild grammar mistakes throughout that hurt the readability a bit. I think the finish probably could've used better build, but your basic construction is very good. As always, just read matches from more experienced people, and it should be a matter of time before you find success.

 

Korgath: Dude, you're talented. You need to write more often. The Conklin match was short, so there's not a whole lot I could individually comment on, but I liked what you have. You've got a solid grasp on commentary, flow, description, pretty much everything. You just need to write more often, and I can start shoving you places. ;)

 

Kingsman: Good match all-around. It was somewhere between a brawl and a semi high-flying match. Kind of. It was a good enough spotfest, none the less, so I guess what I'm trying to say is that the match would've benefitted from more cohesive direction. Your finish could've been built better, and you need to work on Annie, Judge and Ejiro, but otherwise, you're in excellent shape. There's no real problems with your prose at all.

 

Spike: First off, before I say anything about Spike's match, let me say that this is the closest match I've marked in ages. Holly literally inched out the victory, so Dragon, if you've got any concerns or questions over losing, I'd be more than happy to answer them in a PM.

 

Anyway... excellent match from top to bottom. The wrestling was logical, sensible and cleanly described. Of course, you've never really had a problem handling things like that, Spike. But I was cheifly impressed with the way you did your homework and played up Dragon's last match in the WF tournament with Judge, and incorporated that into this one. The attention to pyschology is what really put your match over the edge, although the little details were well handled, too. Robertson was a small yet important factor in the match, and I bought into a few of the near falls. I think the finish was kind of innovative, too. I didn't really see any rust on the match, although you could probably polish your commentary, if that counts.

 

...eh. So I guess these aren't really "quickie" comments at all. But then again, I've never given short comments. Once again, I'm much more impressed with this show than the last few, and hope you all can keep up the effort. Maybe even adding a few promos, perhaps? ;)

 

-Z

Now. More people comment!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
But I was cheifly impressed with the way you did your homework and played up Dragon's last match in the WF tournament with Judge, and incorporated that into this one.

Yeah, this was good. Especially as I myself forgot the neck injury....kinda embarrasing really :D

 

That said, I'm still going to ignore it in my next match...it could/would have healed by then...right?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Goodear
it was a double no-show. I had planned on quitting, actually, because I can't seem to get into this stuff...but I'm gonna give it one more try. If I no show again, that's it for good.

That's a shame Tryst since it seems like a lot of people really like your character design. Depending on what you're having trouble with though I think you should try maybe trying on a different role than active wrestler if you aren't having the fun with the match writing... maybe you could do a Piper's Pit sort of segment or something?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
But I was cheifly impressed with the way you did your homework and played up Dragon's last match in the WF tournament with Judge, and incorporated that into this one.

Yeah, this was good. Especially as I myself forgot the neck injury....kinda embarrasing really :D

 

That said, I'm still going to ignore it in my next match...it could/would have healed by then...right?

Sure. Personally I don't think it's much of a problem as most of you guys weren't around last summer to enjoy the whole plot behind what gave you the injury, the Demonstar Driver. So don't worry about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FIrst off, congratulations to all who won, especially Kingsmen. Nice match, and sorry for squashing you in my match... MY FIRST LEGIT LOSS~! w00t~!... Not that that's saying much...

 

Hmmm... Now to go for my first legit win...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Korgath
Korgath: Dude, you're talented. You need to write more often. The Conklin match was short, so there's not a whole lot I could individually comment on, but I liked what you have. You've got a solid grasp on commentary, flow, description, pretty much everything. You just need to write more often, and I can start shoving you places. ;)

I personally didn't expect to win. I have great respect for DawnBTVS who really pulled out a feud-ending match the last time both characters met. I simply wrote this match to prove that I wasn't going to no-show, despite having a really bad reputation for doing so.

 

Thanks for the comments, I believe these is the first time ANYONE's actually said anything about my writing since I got here three months back. Much appreciated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

*Ahem* Hollywood Spike Jenkins has teh skill. Fear him, if he shows and you are not a ringer. I actually think I'll start checking out the JL once again and commenting, since I begged for that kind of stuff when I was in a similar situation. Z, do the hands on thing. Help them build up a storyline I can follow and enjoy.

 

P.S. JL feuds are easy. Just do what I did. Join/help create a stable with the face/heel disposition of your choosing. Then bitch about being held down. Write some promos, find somebody who is a better writer than you, ask then if they want to feud and you're in like flynn. Oh, and get Z to put you over and give you direction. But that last part is hard... Z rarely does the job. ;)

 

M. Francis

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this  

×