The One and Only Rundown Thread

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Perhaps word of mouth will save this film?

 

Just checked out BoxOfficeMojo, and The Rundown made more than double the next nearest film...

[Hogan Made Wrestling 0]

On another note, Rundown only made 6 million on Friday, which means it's in store for a 17-18 million opening. Kind of dissapointing considering Scorpion King opened at 36 million.

 

 

The movie is great, but Rock isn't the next big thing yet. His movies actually have to make the big bucks first....looks like this might be one of those critically acclaimed flops.

I think the positive reviews and weaker competition are going to give this thing much better staying power than the Scorpion King though.

[Karc 0]

Here's my first review of a movie ever. So it's going to be terrible.

 

Bashing the Rundown.

 

Vince McMahon may be the “executive producer,” but it’s hard to see how he didn’t write half the script.

 

The movie starts out well enough, as the Rock is writing something down. I couldn’t make it out, because his writing ability is virtually non-existent. Oh well. Anyway, he goes into a bar and wants some XFL has-been’s ring, in marriage…? Yeah, the XFL, the organization that every WWE fan tried to forget, yet there they are, complete with NFL on FOX like intros. Because we always need the CGI stuff to make them look badass. Oh, Governor wanna-be Arnold makes a five second cameo wishing good luck to the Rock. Ya know, for passing the torch, that was really weak. Anyway, the guy with the ring wants to leave the Rock at the alter, so Rock decimates the entire offensive line of the Miami Dolphins. One guy took them out?! How in the hell are they 2-1? Of note during “the better barroom brawl than Vengeance,” a nice head scissors takedown, which begs the question, why couldn’t the Rock do that in the ring? (Rock said he did all of his own stunts, except for the ones higher than 10 feet or something, like the cliff fall) If he can do a head scissors, he can do a hurricanrana, maybe even a moonsault. Angle vs. Rock 3 on PPV could a five star classic, but whatever. He does this all without guns too, because the WWE doesn’t want guns in their programming. They also swore no rape, but we got involuntary HLA, necrophilia, and Eric Bischoff forcing himself on a “mature” Linda McMahon. Someone is going to shot in this movie, I guaren-damn-tee it.

 

Anyway, Bock (because Beck, like the Rock, has no first name, or legitimate chance of making a good movie outside of ass-kissing reviewers who would rather see the Rock make movies and be a controllable star than be in the evil WWE and be the mega-star that he is, or maybe that was just Triple H…). Where was I? Oh, Beck/Rock/Bock did something to piss a fat guy off, so he’s a bounty hunter/collector. And he wants to open a resturant, IF YA SMEEEEEEELL, WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN! Seriously, I just now got the whole joke. That’s gold. Anyway, Bock has to go get Stiffler (Sean William Scott, in the only role he was ever decent at), so after yapping with the idiotic Scotsman (a.k.a. Roddy Piper, I TOLD you Vince wrote the script), he goes to a bar and meets up with the lame-ass chick from MIB 2 (the one who flew away, anyway) Long story short, Stiffler is there, tries to get in the Rock’s face, and gets the smack down laid on his candy ass. (Don’t worry, the homosexuality gets better…) Then Chris Walken shows up, and the movie goes to HELLdorado. Eventually, Bock and Stiffler get away wander through the jungle, have another gay moment involving piss this time (not enough women for HLA, I guess), and then they both end up getting hung from a tree upside down. The movie never explains if Stiffler zipped up his pants either, weird. The Rock then gets humped by monkeys. I was disturbed. You guys fill in the jokes, because I can’t defend that. I say the same thing with about 90% of RAW, so Vince probably wrote that. Or maybe Tom Green did, who knows.

 

Anyway, Ernie Reyes, Jr. (from Ninja Turtles 2) shows up and cuts them down, only to have a gang fight with his posse (all short enough to be cruiserweights) against the Rock. Naturally, the little cruiserweights get JOBBED to the one heavyweight (one even gets his head taken off by a flaming branch), because that is how the WWE pecking order works. That was bullshit, and could only come from Vince. Seriously, whoever wrote this thing with him will be on the creative team in days. Boring stuff ensues, but somewhere along the way, Walken does a funny analogy of the tooth fairy. That was my highlight.

 

Anyway Stiffler finds treasure, and of course, it gets snatched up from under him because he foolishly ate some paralyzing fruit. Thank god for US customs. Anyway, Bock has a conscience and decides to help the guy go get the treasure back. The “Roddy Piper” parody/shot comes out with kilt and bagpipes, and it is the running of the brahma bulls. In Brazil? Okaaaay. The Walken army is somewhat dimmed, but ultimately, Bock has to pick up the hardware and start popping people, simply because they made a bad career move by siding with the rich guy. If only that could happen in real life. Oh, and the Rock can never go back to the WWE now, because he didn’t use a fake gun that said “bang” like Austin, he used a real gun with blanks. He broke the corporate line. Yeah, like Triple H raping a dead girl wasn’t. Oh, I guess he’s exempt. And Bischoff trying to rape Linda? Oh, that doesn’t count either, since the point was to make him look like a complete wuss of a jackass, and it worked. Anyway, Walken eventually dies, mercifully ending his uselessness in the movie, save for the tooth fairy stuff. It made no sense, but it was funny.

 

The movie should have just ended when Bock and Stiffler left the town, but no. Bock is released from his contract, but not before losing the badass image entirely and getting Stiffler out of his abusive father’s home (he slugged him, but I would have hit him, too). And they both get in the car, to get married…?

 

Seriously, I don’t get the point of this movie. More specifically, I don’t see why the critics like it. Are they marks for the WWE? Did they get paid or something? I was wise enough to bail on the Scorpion King, but this was bad. I felt doubly jaded because I had just downloaded the trailer for Matrix 3, so I had no reason to go. Then again, I wouldn’t have had this fun ripping a dumb movie apart. 1 star, .5 for the tooth fairy joke, .5 for my jokes.

 

How did I do? Be brutal, odds are I won’t read it anyway.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Fall is the WORST time of the year for movies to make money. I read in Cinescape that movies released in the fall only make about half as much as they would if released in summer or winter. Underworld, which also kicked ass, did not make nearly as much money as many thought it would. The main reason is most likely the start of a new school year. People in college in particular have less recreational time.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

I liked the Scorpion King better for some reason, but the Rundown was VERY entertaining and shouldn't get ripped apart by movie smarks

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Well, the Rock did do the Eyebrow in the SK.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

The Rundown is fantastic blend of style, wit, atmosphere, and some great action sequences.

 

The great use of the setting was welcome too, so often in films today atmosphere feels forced, and surreal. (Underworld, for example) this film used a realistic setting to great effect.

 

The Rock looked great, kicked ass, and drew cheers from the crowd I was with. He is The Next Big Thing as far as action movies go and charisma-less Vin Diesel can take a long walk off a short pier as far as I'm concerned.

[Ted the Poster 0]

First, I'd just like to say that I am not bashing your review; I'm giving my opinions about your review. When all is said and done, that's all a review is: an opinion. I'm sure you're a nice guy, and you're sure as hell entitled to it, but you did ask for our opinions about your opinion! So here we go!

 

1. The XFL ring and the Roddy Piper thing were INSIDE JOKES directed at WWE fans. They were not meant to offend you, but to make WWE fans laugh at a few of the company's failures and mishaps. Vince McMahon had very little impact on te movie itself, as his title of "executive producer" was just that, a title.

 

2. Have you ever SEEN a Christopher Walken movie? He ALWAYS acts in that manner; it's his trademark, and it helped get him an Oscar nomination. I do agree on one thing though; the tooth fairy thing was GOLD.

 

3. The zipper thing. You said that was homosexual but who else was nearby that could've undone Scott's pants? One of the baboons? Also, did you happen to notice when Rock's handcuff keys fell out of his pocket? Or when Scott used the keys to unlock his cuffs? That would kinda allow him to zip up.

 

4. 75% of your review looked like it was done solely from the perspective of a wrestling smark instead of the role of a person watching a movie. Those rebel guys did not "job" to Rock at all. For 2/3 of the scene those little dudes kicked Rock's ass. Rock was able to mount a comeback, but he did not really win because Rosario Dawson's character broke up the fight.

 

5. You also seemingly implied that you didn't think Rock's performance was good. Well can you name one "action star" aside from Sly Stallone who ever gave an award-worthy performance(and no, Bruce Willis doesn't count because of the shitty romantic comedies he has done, and because The Sixth Sense had no action at all)? Also, Rock's next two movies "Walking Tall" and "Spy Hunter" have nothing to do with WWE so I don't see how he could be "contollable".

 

6. In your review, you said "I don't see why the critics like it. Are they marks for the WWE?". No, the reason critics like it is just the opposite. They are not marks, and many have probably never watched WWE programming since they spend a lot of time REVIEWING MOVIES. Professional movie critics(unlike you and I) saw this movie as people who love the cinema. They saw it for what it is: an above average action(gotta love alliteration!)-comedy buddy movie with nice action and good humor(subtle and blatant).

[Karc 0]

Hollywood wants the Rock out of WWE, so much so that they would give good reviews to a bad movie, just to pump his ego. Why else were all the talk shows asking the Rock if he was done with wrestling? They know he's thinking about leaving. The only problem is that Rock doesn't have a big ego, so he isn't sure, plus this movie won't make a lot of money anyway, so it isn't his breakout hit. Hollywood will try again with the next one.

[Guest El Satanico]

We don't know that Rundown won't make good money. An average opening weekend doesn't mean it can't make good money.

 

Rock getting good reviews is one big Hollywood conspiracy? Riiight, just like all of those great reviews for him in Scorpion King.

[KingPK 0]

Well, the Rock did do the Eyebrow in the SK.

He's been doing that since high school.

[Mik 0]

Hollywood wants the Rock out of WWE, so much so that they would give good reviews to a bad movie, just to pump his ego. Why else were all the talk shows asking the Rock if he was done with wrestling? They know he's thinking about leaving. The only problem is that Rock doesn't have a big ego, so he isn't sure, plus this movie won't make a lot of money anyway, so it isn't his breakout hit. Hollywood will try again with the next one.

This has to be one of the most retarded things I've ever read on this forum. Like the rest of the world cares about WWE? Wake up.

[Ted the Poster 0]

We don't know that Rundown won't make good money. An average opening weekend doesn't mean it can't make good money.

Yeah, remember "There's Something About Mary"? After about four weeks it had a sudden surge of profit, and ended up making a lot more money than anyone said it would. I'm not saying The Rundown will do this; I'm just saying that there's a possibility(even in a bad month for movies).

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

Vince McMahon MUST play the villain in Spy Hunter.

[iliketurtles 0]

Just got home from FINALLY seeing it...loved it to death. Rock is going to be such a star.

 

The Arnold/Rock thing was really nice, too.

 

Great movie and I hope he makes tons more.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

He's been doing that since high school.

 

Well, yeah, but I was answering Choken One's question.

[Dangerous A 0]

All I can say about the Rundown is this.

 

Eh.

 

It wasn't bad by any stretch, but not great neither. This was a perfect fall action movie type. (although fall is death to the box office) Not too flashy, yet just enough to keep a pulse.

 

I see where everyone sees Rock's potential as an action star. I like his action appeal more than Vin Diesel's. However on it's own, the Rundown was average in my opinion. I'd rate it around **1/2's.

[Karnage 0]

I just watched it today and well, it's pretty good but not the greatest action movie ever. That scene where he closed his eyes sure reminded me of Bloodsport.

[Dr. Tom 0]

<cheap plug>

 

For those who haven't read it yet...

 

My reviewing debut at 411, The Rundown.

 

</cheap plug>

[MrRant 0]

^

 

SELL OUT WHORE~!

 

 

WHORE~! I SAY~!

[Guest NCJ]

Great action movie. Very cool when The Rock pulled out the shotguns. Really could have used more time.

[Guest Scotsman]

Here's my first review of a movie ever. So it's going to be terrible.

 

Bashing the Rundown.

 

Vince McMahon may be the “executive producer,” but it’s hard to see how he didn’t write half the script.

 

The movie starts out well enough, as the Rock is writing something down. I couldn’t make it out, because his writing ability is virtually non-existent. Oh well. Anyway, he goes into a bar and wants some XFL has-been’s ring, in marriage…? Yeah, the XFL, the organization that every WWE fan tried to forget, yet there they are, complete with NFL on FOX like intros. Because we always need the CGI stuff to make them look badass. Oh, Governor wanna-be Arnold makes a five second cameo wishing good luck to the Rock. Ya know, for passing the torch, that was really weak. Anyway, the guy with the ring wants to leave the Rock at the alter, so Rock decimates the entire offensive line of the Miami Dolphins. One guy took them out?! How in the hell are they 2-1? Of note during “the better barroom brawl than Vengeance,” a nice head scissors takedown, which begs the question, why couldn’t the Rock do that in the ring? (Rock said he did all of his own stunts, except for the ones higher than 10 feet or something, like the cliff fall) If he can do a head scissors, he can do a hurricanrana, maybe even a moonsault. Angle vs. Rock 3 on PPV could a five star classic, but whatever. He does this all without guns too, because the WWE doesn’t want guns in their programming. They also swore no rape, but we got involuntary HLA, necrophilia, and Eric Bischoff forcing himself on a “mature” Linda McMahon. Someone is going to shot in this movie, I guaren-damn-tee it.

 

Anyway, Bock (because Beck, like the Rock, has no first name, or legitimate chance of making a good movie outside of ass-kissing reviewers who would rather see the Rock make movies and be a controllable star than be in the evil WWE and be the mega-star that he is, or maybe that was just Triple H…). Where was I? Oh, Beck/Rock/Bock did something to piss a fat guy off, so he’s a bounty hunter/collector. And he wants to open a resturant, IF YA SMEEEEEEELL, WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN! Seriously, I just now got the whole joke. That’s gold. Anyway, Bock has to go get Stiffler (Sean William Scott, in the only role he was ever decent at), so after yapping with the idiotic Scotsman (a.k.a. Roddy Piper, I TOLD you Vince wrote the script), he goes to a bar and meets up with the lame-ass chick from MIB 2 (the one who flew away, anyway) Long story short, Stiffler is there, tries to get in the Rock’s face, and gets the smack down laid on his candy ass. (Don’t worry, the homosexuality gets better…) Then Chris Walken shows up, and the movie goes to HELLdorado. Eventually, Bock and Stiffler get away wander through the jungle, have another gay moment involving piss this time (not enough women for HLA, I guess), and then they both end up getting hung from a tree upside down. The movie never explains if Stiffler zipped up his pants either, weird. The Rock then gets humped by monkeys. I was disturbed. You guys fill in the jokes, because I can’t defend that. I say the same thing with about 90% of RAW, so Vince probably wrote that. Or maybe Tom Green did, who knows.

 

Anyway, Ernie Reyes, Jr. (from Ninja Turtles 2) shows up and cuts them down, only to have a gang fight with his posse (all short enough to be cruiserweights) against the Rock. Naturally, the little cruiserweights get JOBBED to the one heavyweight (one even gets his head taken off by a flaming branch), because that is how the WWE pecking order works. That was bullshit, and could only come from Vince. Seriously, whoever wrote this thing with him will be on the creative team in days. Boring stuff ensues, but somewhere along the way, Walken does a funny analogy of the tooth fairy. That was my highlight.

 

Anyway Stiffler finds treasure, and of course, it gets snatched up from under him because he foolishly ate some paralyzing fruit. Thank god for US customs. Anyway, Bock has a conscience and decides to help the guy go get the treasure back. The “Roddy Piper” parody/shot comes out with kilt and bagpipes, and it is the running of the brahma bulls. In Brazil? Okaaaay. The Walken army is somewhat dimmed, but ultimately, Bock has to pick up the hardware and start popping people, simply because they made a bad career move by siding with the rich guy. If only that could happen in real life. Oh, and the Rock can never go back to the WWE now, because he didn’t use a fake gun that said “bang” like Austin, he used a real gun with blanks. He broke the corporate line. Yeah, like Triple H raping a dead girl wasn’t. Oh, I guess he’s exempt. And Bischoff trying to rape Linda? Oh, that doesn’t count either, since the point was to make him look like a complete wuss of a jackass, and it worked. Anyway, Walken eventually dies, mercifully ending his uselessness in the movie, save for the tooth fairy stuff. It made no sense, but it was funny.

 

The movie should have just ended when Bock and Stiffler left the town, but no. Bock is released from his contract, but not before losing the badass image entirely and getting Stiffler out of his abusive father’s home (he slugged him, but I would have hit him, too). And they both get in the car, to get married…?

 

Seriously, I don’t get the point of this movie. More specifically, I don’t see why the critics like it. Are they marks for the WWE? Did they get paid or something? I was wise enough to bail on the Scorpion King, but this was bad. I felt doubly jaded because I had just downloaded the trailer for Matrix 3, so I had no reason to go. Then again, I wouldn’t have had this fun ripping a dumb movie apart. 1 star, .5 for the tooth fairy joke, .5 for my jokes.

 

How did I do? Be brutal, odds are I won’t read it anyway.

Wow. I can honestly say that your review was the worst thing I have ever read in my life. I'm not one to use smileys to describe my opinions, but in this case.....

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

<cheap plug>

 

For those who haven't read it yet...

 

My reviewing debut at 411, The Rundown.

 

</cheap plug>

Great, because I needed eye cancer in film review form.

[Dr. Tom 0]

^

 

SELL OUT WHORE~!

 

 

WHORE~! I SAY~!

Hey, they're paying me more.

 

In fact, I can safely say that 411 is paying me a billion times more than TSM.

[Dr. Tom 0]

Great, because I needed eye cancer in film review form.

You're still up 5615 in the optical carcinogen count, bub.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Great, because I needed eye cancer in film review form.

You're still up 5615 in the optical carcinogen count, bub.

Surely the Bossman thread negates some of that, though.

[Guest SweetNSexyDiva]

I saw this movie the other night and I found it really entertaining. It a lot funnier than I imagined it to be... And although the Rock is no fantastic actor, he far exceeds the abilities of Vin Diesel! Shawn William Scott was really funny! And Rosario Dawson was really beautiful! So much better than her lame Josie and the Pussycat's role. However, I hope they decide NOT to do a sequel. That would be lame.

[Boner Kawanger 0]

^

 

SELL OUT WHORE~!

 

 

WHORE~! I SAY~!

Hey, they're paying me more.

 

In fact, I can safely say that 411 is paying me a billion times more than TSM.

You're a DOCTOR AND you have a BILLION-DOLLAR WRITING DEAL AT 411?!

 

You must fight the ladies off with a stick, my friend.