FDNY's "Dirty Secret"

[MrRant 0]

JEANE MacINTOSH

Courtesy of The New York Post

 

It's the FDNY's "dirty little secret." At least a dozen of New York's Bravest - some of them assigned to look after Sept. 11 widows - have left their wives for the spouses of their comrades killed in the terror attacks, sources told The Post.

 

"It's disgusting, heartbreaking what they've done," said Mary Koenig, whose husband, Gerry Koenig of Staten Island's Rescue 5 squad, ditched her and their two kids for Madeline Bergin, the widow of his friend and firehouse mate, John Bergin, after the World Trade Center attacks.

 

An insider who has worked with firefighter families and a counselor who worked for one of the FDNY services told The Post there are about a dozen cases similar to the Koenigs.

 

FDNY spokesman David Billig would not comment on the figure. Another FDNY official told The Post, "It's a very sensitive topic."

 

Koenig had been the Bergin family's "liaison" - a surrogate-parent role traditionally taken on by Bravest when a fellow firefighter is killed.

 

Although "liaisons" are not officially designated, the role is part of an honored, unwritten pact going back more than 100 years.

 

"Not only have these men dishonored their own families, they've dishonored the memories of men who are heroes, who were their brothers," Mary Koenig said. "It's the department's dirty little secret."

 

When, after 9/11, the FDNY called in experts who'd dealt with the psychological fallout from the Oklahoma City bombings, they were told that some firefighters may start relationships with the widows.

 

"The department saw this happening - knew from mental-health experts that it could happen - and did nothing to intervene," Mary Koenig said.

 

Billig defended the department, noting that it has "done a tremendous amount" in terms of dealing with attack-related psychological issues, including family and marital problems, since Sept. 11, 2001.

 

"We have been very proactive in developing solutions and encouraging our employees and their families to seek help," Billig said. "The topic of surviving firefighters not neglecting their own families after Sept. 11" was addressed shortly after the attacks. Among the FDNY initiatives was hiring 300 counselors, and developing programs "that matched every domestic situation we could think of," he added.

 

Still, Kristin Zazulka, 18, said the system devastated her family. The teen complained to department officials after her dad, John Zazulka of Brooklyn's Squad 1, dumped her mom, Susan, and Kristin's three younger siblings for widow Debbie Amato, the wife of fallen squadmate, James Amato, and Amato's four kids.

 

Zazulka, who did not return calls to The Post, has also become a deadbeat dad: He has twice been found in contempt of court by a Staten Island family court judge for failure to support his kids.

 

In September 2002, the McKinsey report - the outside evaluation of the city's response to the WTC attacks - noted that the FDNY must improve and expand the support services offered to its members and families because it was not adequately equipped to deal with the ongoing ramifications of large-scale events.

 

Koenig said that when her husband began to disassociate himself from his family, she made repeated entreaties to his captain to intervene. After speaking with both Madeline Bergin and Gerry Koenig, the captain ordered Gerry back to his own family.

 

But the order didn't stick.

 

Gerry Koenig declined to comment to The Post, saying only, "My life is private - it's not anybody else's business. I didn't leave my family. I left my wife."

 

For the last several months, Mary Koenig has been on a one-woman campaign to get the FDNY to change its protocol regarding counseling after a catastrophic tragedy.

 

She's written to FDNY brass and state and local lawmakers, calling for what she calls "The John Bergin Act." It would require FDNY brass to supervise the liaison program and to make counseling mandatory after large-scale events.

 

"If a family comes forward with help with this kind of problem in the future, I want to know the department will be required to do something," she said. "It's too late for my family, but they can damn sure fix it for next time."

 

Madeline Bergin declined to comment and Debbie Amato could not be located.

 

http://cms.firehouse.com/content/article/a...nId=46&id=22558

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

I'll be the first to say; shouldn't the widows reject these men or something, especially if they're married? Just doesn't make much sense to me....

[Guest Jimbo]

What a weird situation...I can understand caring for the now father-less families, but scrapping your own family and marrying the widows? I've herad lots of tails of brotherhood, but that's just plain odd....

[Swift Terror 0]

Seems like an extremely tough situation.

 

Absolutely it's horrible, cheating on their wives, leaving their families. The widows are obviously going through unimaginable grief, and they desire and identify with other firemen. They are vulnerable and open to a man/father in their life. The other wives are conveniently blocked out, I doubt if they intentionally sought out to ruin a marriage. And the men are attracted to the needs of the women, who were part of their tight community. It really doesn't seem that surprising that it would happen.

[Vern Gagne 0]

I'll be the first to say; shouldn't the widows reject these men or something, especially if they're married? Just doesn't make much sense to me....

That's what I was thinking. Also, you'd think these wifes would be very close, and wouldn't want to breakup a marriage.

[1234-5678 0]

It's nobody's business but the people involved. Find something important to report, you nosy bitch.

[Skywarp! 0]

If it were only one or two cases of this, then I would say it wouldn't be necessary to report. However, this article makes it seem like a large psychological/sociological phenomenon within their microcosm that should be observed and understood, since there's valuable lessons of psyche and post-traumatic stress that can be learned from it.

[Vern Gagne 0]

It seems like the wifes, who where dumped want this to be known to the public.

[Skywarp! 0]

It seems like the wifes, who where dumped want this to be known to the public.

Yeah, that one in particular complained to her husband, the widow, and the fire chief, and none of them responded to her tirade. Well all be damned if she wasn't going to be heard. She went public with it. Never mess with a determined woman, huh?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Here's a pic of one of the couples whose lesser half went off with a 9/11 widow.

 

I'd do her...

 

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

From a fireman's own mouth:

 

"My life is private - it's not anybody else's business. I didn't leave my family. I left my wife."

 

End of discussion.

[Dr. Tyler; Captain America 0]

It's from the NY Post.

 

Take it with a grain of salt.

[Guest "Fruity" Frankie]

being a firefighter i guess i will comment... While I dont really agree with what was done by some Firefighters, it really shouldnt be releated at all to there work as firemen or the FDNY. Im sure the FDNY didnt come up with this big plan to have firemen leave there wifes for widows.. so please dont call it the FDNY little secret. What they do in there private lifes really isnt the public's business anyway. They are still serving the community and puttinf there lives on the line every day.

[HarleyQuinn 0]

They are still serving the community and puttinf there lives on the line every day.

So that just makes it all okay to up and leave your wife(along with your children) for a deceased friend's widow just because the widow lost her husband and needed some companionship?

[Guest "Fruity" Frankie]

no.. i said in the very begining of the post that I dont agree with what they did... (read the entire post before you comment) Im just saying.. It shouldnt really be connected to the FDNY like it was set up by the Fire Dept.

[1234-5678 0]

They are still serving the community and puttinf there lives on the line every day.

So that just makes it all okay to up and leave your wife(along with your children) for a deceased friend's widow just because the widow lost her husband and needed some companionship?

Only if the widow is hotter then your current wife.

[Highland 0]

I find it despicable these guys are using 9/11 as an excuse to cheat on and leave their wives. Fuck them, they're a disgrace to the people that died in those attacks.

[1234-5678 0]

I find it despicable these guys are using 9/11 as an excuse to cheat on and leave their wives. Fuck them, they're a disgrace to the people that died in those attacks.

I find it despicable that you got sucked in by that nosy bitch's article. I hardly think they are using 9/11 as an excuse. They got close with them after their husbands' died, and something happened. Oh well. Maybe they were unhappy in their own home lives. Maybe they found something in common with these women, they are grieving about their husbands, and the guys are grieving about their friends. Who knows? But I still say it is nobody's business.

[notJames 0]

Stuff like this happens all the time. I think it's called the Florence Nightengale syndrome or something like that. You comfort someone who lost somebody (either through death or separation), you spend time with them, share intimate moments, and suddenly, those platonic intentions grow into something deeper and inexplicable. Nurses seem to fall prey to that quite often.

 

I just hope it's not one of the fleeting things that happen when people are thrown into emotionally heavy situations but eventually those feelings subside for one and not the other. Take theatre folk for example. I've seen countless cast members hook up with each other during production of a show. Then, once the show's done and all those nights of rehearsals and closeness are over, the couple drift apart and end up involved with others just as quickly.

[Anakin Flair 0]

Move to Utah.

Case closed.