Storm Comments!

[Guest Suicide King]

Well, a rather good show overall I thought. Many promos and good ones at that along with some entertaining matches. I thought the main event in particular was a good read.

[Secret Agent 0]

How about the matches you marked? feedback, or thoughts?

 

I'll post my comments when I finish reading the whole show.

[Guest Suicide King]

OK Johnny. Well, for starters you won by no-show which made my job a lot easier if more irksome as every match I have marked over the past couple of weeks has been won that way.

 

You mentioned in the PM that you knew the match was short and wondered if I penalized for it. I can tell you that no marker penalizes for anything but going over the limit. You can write as little as you want, and if your match is better it will win every time. The problem that occurs with most short matches is that they come off with a rushed feel to it as you sometimes get on TV. Two talented athletes are only given 3 and 1/2 minutes to work in and they try to hit all their spots and still tell a story, which is damned hard. In the case of our written matches it is transition and psychology that suffers from a rushed pace (not a word limit). In some cases writers just have too much planned for the word limit and accidentally or intentionally go over, or just refuse to write because the limit is too constricting in their eyes.

 

Your match was good overall Johnny. It told the basic small striker versus big man match which has been proved time and time again. My only complaints would be with the transitions (which as I said were rushed) and that Edward's offense was a little too... cliche? I am unfamiliar with his stats though so I don't know what he gave you to work with. Basically though it was good stuff.

 

Edit: I just reviewed Edward James' stats. I actually didn't know that was Flik. That said, I think you also could have done a bit better considering his moveset.

Edited March 28, 2004 by Suicide King

[Guest Aecas]

Never has a gardening implement been greeted with such joy

 

*soothes Reggie*

[King Cucaracha 0]

More in-depth feedback later...but for now, I'll just say that that was fanfuckin'tastic! Way to bring the effort guys...great job to all who wrote.

[janusd 0]

A very nice show for all involved. There were quite a few promos, and promos are always good. Toxxic, surprisingly, defeats Dace to retain the ICTV title, which I wasn't actually expecting. Guess I'll have to put this upstart defeater of two thirds of the Trinity in his place sometime soon.

 

After Aecas and I smite Johnny and Wildchild for the tag belts, that is. What with winning the tag contendership and all.

[Secret Agent 0]

Ah cool, I got some feedback. Thanks, King! I know the transistions were basically non-exhistant... One move transistions, but they have always been my weakest point and in this match i had to make them quick. :\

 

I can also say that I have never quite understood transistions in general, and how they should be properlly built. Unlike most of these people around here my only wrestling knowledge comes from the WWE Attitude era and forward. Transistions that I see are: Rock gets beat around the ring for a few minutes then suddenly rockets out of the corner and lands an elbow into someone's face, or Kick! Wham! Stunner! Is that not how they are to be done? I'm guessing not. transistions are probably what will always keep me at the bottom of the card.

 

EDIT: Yes, King, I know he had much better moves and had I gave Edward more control in the match I probably would have done a few more. However, if you noticed they are mostly all impact moves, and with his strength(that being 9), Johnny would have been a gonner taking a straight, full match of all those.

 

Anyway... I have read Landon's first two promos thus far, Toxxic's promo, skipped my match, and read the Cruiserweight match.

 

Landon's promos were nice, and I'm rather surprised that you have so much free time on your hands to write three different segments. Some sort of interaction between Clark and Landon would have added a little into that, but I suppose you were saving that for the actual 'concert', we'll have to see when I get there.

 

Toxxic's opening promo was cool too. Short and to the point, but one thing. The way you do commentary throws me off a bit. It might be just me, but a single line space between Comet's lines and Bobby's would make it easier to read.

 

Crap, Tom just made Alan Clark a straight victim with that match! The commentary was amusing as always, and making it a non title due to Flesher being over the weight limit was a nice added touch, enabling a Flesher victory while still allowing Clark to have a good run with the Cruiserweight title. The heel tease was cool too, but we'll have to wait and see if it's a full turn or just for this match. Either way I liked. Two (Y) (Y).

 

On with the rest of the show...

[Dace59 0]

Man I've turned into Jericho. Back on the losing streak I go.

Real comments to follow when I'm not about to go out.

[Ace309 0]

Landon, you're SO going to pay for stealing my cutting-off-Hardy interview premise AND for calling me "Ron Flesher."

 

That's my dad, you idiot.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Landon, there's a reason you're my favorite WFer right now.

 

 

Awesome show, everyone!

[King Cucaracha 0]

Landon, there's a reason you're my favorite WFer right now.

...'cause I'm willing to job to you?

 

Oh...and Taamo...it'll get worse, trust me.

[Guest Suicide King]

More comments people! Reinvigorating the fed starts here!

[Toxxic 0]

I can't believe I won.

 

How's that?

 

Oh - Landon rocks!

[Guest Goodear]

I can also say that I have never quite understood transistions in general, and how they should be properlly built. Unlike most of these people around here my only wrestling knowledge comes from the WWE Attitude era and forward. Transistions that I see are: Rock gets beat around the ring for a few minutes then suddenly rockets out of the corner and lands an elbow into someone's face, or Kick! Wham! Stunner! Is that not how they are to be done? I'm guessing not. transistions are probably what will always keep me at the bottom of the card.

 

BAH! You're a tag team champion and don't you forget it cracker. Bottom of the card... BAH! Justice and Rule were never on the bottom of card you punky brewster.

 

Anyway back to being helpful. Transitions from a WWE main event standpoint used to be a whole lot of 'punching back' as you described it. Which is OK in some instances (ie you are The Undertaker and Rey Mysterio is punching you) but most of the time it doesn't work quite so well. Other transitions include a guy making a mistake (Ric Flair getting tossed off the top tope), the despiration move (like when Benoit hits a German out of no where aand rests for a bit), and the sellling transition (such as if I work on your back... you take control... but then you try to suplex me but you can't and I take control again). The trick is to make the transitions flow with the context of the story you are telling. In the middle of a complete brawl, you being the martial arts guy that you are... actually just blocking a blow and firing one back could be considered an effective choice of transition assuming you are fighting someone of a comparable size and you put over the fact of your strike being better than theirs. Just remember to be true to the story you want to tell... thats the key.

[Dace59 0]

That sums it up very well Ejiro. And thank you for bringing up the selling in transition, it's a much needed thing.

[Lightning Flik 0]

Edit:  I just reviewed Edward James' stats.  I actually didn't know that was Flik.  That said, I think you also could have done a bit better considering his moveset.

Yes, the moveset for James is pretty... Well, fucked up. Since there are probably a little too many power based moves there.

 

However, I'm not that great with knowing how or what power wrestling based characters use. I do with small cruiserweights, because that's what I am. Being 160lbs, I can't really lift up a lot of stuff (at least like heavyweights do). So I'm little, um... Shall we say, imparied on the power based side of wrestling moves?

 

...so if anyone can figure out some ... fixes to my moveset for James, please inform me. As I'd like to fix that. ASAP (at least after my match with MVS).

 

 

Anyways Onto A Review Of Storm

 

Rating Scale:

Excellent - [E] - Shit, what can you say? This was absolutely fabolous.

Great - [G] - Nicely done. Very few things to improve.

Average - [A] - Alright, somethings to improve on though.

Poor - [P] - You can do better than this. Not bad, but definitely not expected.

Bad - - Two year olds write better than this.

 

 

Opening Segment:

A scene of things to come? Shit, I don't know what to make of that. Gotta admit, the Coleman bit was kinda funny. A nice set up to the show.

[A]

 

 

The Second Segment (Toxxic Got SHAFTED):

Nice opening from Toxxic. I felt his hatred towards Stevens and he definitely made sure to give reasons that tonight won't be his downfall, but his future.

[G]

 

 

First Match:

Yo, Brimstone/Johnny Dangerous, the Agent... Thanks for two things. One, making my character seem decent and two, for putting on a good match. Thanks a lot. Really nice psychology and a couple neat spots, however I think you probably should've have made me like, not so godly in the no-selling department. Yes, I do have better than awesome strength, but I still get hit up pretty good.

[A]

 

 

Fourth Segment:

I liked this. Although, the point across was good, but it felt like it needed a little more prounounced explanation and setting. It was kinda just filler. Not that this is bad, but it didn't really advance anything. When I mean prounounced, I mean, give us the whole she-bang, but then again, this probably is to save up for what Maddix has in store.

[P]

 

 

Fifth Segment:

Ok, now THIS works. It makes relevance to the plot line and doesn't give off that "filler feel". I really like the fact that Flesher is over by just 5lbs, and make the Cruiser stip important enough to make sure that it is actually checked over. Nicely done.

[G]

 

 

Second Match:

I like how the segment plays into the match. I kinda feel bad that the stip was taken away (Title Match), but gotta admit, that the spin on Flesher wanting to win so bad doesn't matter is awfully neat. Nice having Flesher seemingly regain his head of steam in the match up, the killer instinct. His usage of holds was pretty good, and I gotta admit a good finish.

[A]

 

 

Seventh Segment:

The Anti-Heel Machine makes a hell of a lot of menace on Toxxic, as he makes his presence felt by the subtle talk. Toxxic, of course, is his cocky-confident self that brags about how he beat Aecas for the title and will go on to defend his ICTV title successfully. Oh, it was the other way around for the order of what came first btw.

[G]

 

 

Third Match:

Power vs. Speed in tag team action. Ok, I've never seen Unholy Trinty in action, but I've gotta admit, I like their style of bashing the hell out of people. Couple of cool spots, like the YAAAAAAKUUUUUUUZZZZAAAAAAA KIIIIICCCCKKK~!!!! and of course the german to the outside. I gotta admit, that this was a thorough horse whipping by the power boys and was played out well, as the speed boys took their shots when they could, but clearly were outclassed.

[G]

 

 

Ninth Segment:

And the filler actually was useful, because shit, did this ever do many things right. Play up to the fact that Maddix fears Clark. Clark wanting to do hurtful things to him. It was set up well as you could feel the build getting better and better as it went on. Wondeful work, as I definitely want to see more of this.

[G]

 

 

Tenth Segment:

This filler, whilst short, earns a step above P, because frankly, it actually teases the fact of Ann and Grappler dueling it out and sets up the next match nicely.

[A]

 

 

Fourth Match:

We start with Ann vs. Duran after Duran rids us of Coy. Then we get Ann and Coy double teaming Duran. Then, the betrayal. Then we proceed into a triple threat match. Good action, all the pauses and one on ones work, even the double teaming does. Nice focus on the neck of the semi-injuried Duran near the end of it, good psychology by Coy with airplane spin on it (I can't believe I actually understood WHY he did that). I like how the match ended as well, because it still gave the "hey, it might not end here, but it will" feel.

[G]

 

 

Twelveth Segment:

Decently enough, Duran challenges Stevens to respond to the challenge of putting someone greater than Onita in his way. Standard heel stuff.

[A]

 

 

Main Event:

Nice way to start of the main event, good ol' fashioned heel ways (or just common sense). Um... Ok, Reverse DVD was a little much off the start. Sure, nice spot, but not something you'd do off the bat. Kinda takes a little bit of the flow out of the match. Ok, what's a Grman Suplex (yes, that was sad humor, shut up)?

 

Definitely nice transition of offense from Dace to Toxxic, where in we see that Toxxic isn't about to be able to fight Dace as well as he could with the beating he took. Commentary has been solid so far, and gotta say has played to the match well. The little bit between Terrance and Toxxic is well played out and definitely interesting (however, someone clearly did not know about the Seventh Segment, as Janus and Toxxic got into a confrontation then, first). Nice bit to have Dace screw up his arm on the Elbow Suicida, because, ... well, it makes sense ().

 

And it seems Toxxic just is a little short of getting it done, as the Toxxic Shock Sydrome couldn't put Dace away. Of course, we get him complete distracted with the ref, and wow... He gets put down with a DDT. I did not see that coming. Honestly... No really. Ok, shut up, I'm making sure my sarcasm is known.

 

Well, we get to see Toxxic reach even deeper and pull out the almighty FINISHER THAT YOU JUST DON'T GET YOUR ASS OUT OF~! Thought Dace had the match won. My mistake. Congrats to Toxxic on the retaining.

 

Oh great. Another "hooded-man" segment that will likely drag out for awhile...

 

Ok, I spoke too soon. He isn't ma-WTF??? LISTON???

 

There had BETTER be an explanation for that. That's all I gotta say.

[E]

 

 

Hopefully, that's a good enough review. Or at least insight to how I felt about reading this stuff, seeing as I'm no good to doing reviews.

 

 

P.S.

And yes, if you ARE wondering why I'm up this freaking late, I'll let ya know.

 

It is due to the fact that a) I can't sleep (a lot on my mind lately) and b) I really want to finally get something written up (at least this time, I'm just going to have fun and not try to make it so that it is a must-be-perfect-because-I-suck). And this took about two hours to do... Wonderful.

[Dace59 0]

In response to Flik's comments on the main event:

 

 

Um... Ok, Reverse DVD was a little much off the start. Sure, nice spot, but not something you'd do off the bat

 

Not really, Toxxic had already have an opening run of offense, and Dace comes back with a big bomb to shut up the young punk. Toxxic is small and weak, Dace can put him away with a few moves, which is what he tries for.

 

Definitely nice transition of offense from Dace to Toxxic

 

Nope, we both turn in Sasuke and have almost zero selling of any moves during the transition.

 

Nice bit to have Dace screw up his arm on the Elbow Suicida, because, ... well, it makes sense.

 

No, no it doesn't. A 9 year vet goes and makes a high risk move with his injured arm when it's been seen before he can use his other arm for elbows just as well.

 

Well, we get to see Toxxic reach even deeper and pull out the almighty FINISHER THAT YOU JUST DON'T GET YOUR ASS OUT OF~

 

No, the arm work from early pays off, with Dace's arm being weaken, and so being the only reason Toxxic is able to escape the move. Just wasn't put over as such.

 

I've said all this to Toxxic already and the man did a good job, even if I can pick issue with a few things. I lost, so he did a good job of course.

[Lightning Flik 0]

Not really, Toxxic had already have an opening run of offense, and Dace comes back with a big bomb to shut up the young punk. Toxxic is small and weak, Dace can put him away with a few moves, which is what he tries for.

 

It is so early in the match though. I don't care if you try to put him away with so few moves. And might I add, if you are complaining about being a vet for 9 years, you obviously know that you aren't going to win against anyone just hitting a "few" moves. Hitting a few moves? The guy's been a fabulous phenom for the last, what? Practically all of his matches? A trained vet would know that you don't go pulling out all the stops right off the bat because you'd get confident, cocky and full of yourself. I wouldn't be picky about it, IF Dace actually seemed like that during the match. Well, no, I certainly didn't see it last night (although, I might be half asleep, I haven't slept in two days now).

 

Definitely nice transition of offense from Dace to Toxxic

 

Nope, we both turn in Sasuke and have almost zero selling of any moves during the transition.

 

Nice bit to have Dace screw up his arm on the Elbow Suicida, because, ... well, it makes sense.

 

No, no it doesn't. A 9 year vet goes and makes a high risk move with his injured arm when it's been seen before he can use his other arm for elbows just as well.

 

You obviously missed the sarcasm. Next time, I'll add a kittysmile to show it (<-joke). Yes, I was nitpicking, I'm just in a very foul mood and wasn't about to rip that apart like I feel like doing now.

 

Well, we get to see Toxxic reach even deeper and pull out the almighty FINISHER THAT YOU JUST DON'T GET YOUR ASS OUT OF~

 

No, the arm work from early pays off, with Dace's arm being weaken, and so being the only reason Toxxic is able to escape the move. Just wasn't put over as such.

 

...and the arm work would be the reason that this happened. But as you might've noticed, I had also felt it wasn't that great.

 

I've said all this to Toxxic already and the man did a good job, even if I can pick issue with a few things. I lost, so he did a good job of course.

 

Match besides the flaws was excellently done. Toxxic has been all about that from everything I've seen him do. So I know either he or you had to have pulled out the stops for this one, and it didn't disappoint. Much.

Edited March 30, 2004 by Lightning Flik

[Dace59 0]

Well:

 

It is so early in the match though. I don't care if you try to put him away with so few moves. And might I add, if you are complaining about being a vet for 9 years, you obviously know that you aren't going to win against anyone just hitting a "few" moves. Hitting a few moves? The guy's been a fabulous phenom for the last, what? Practically all of his matches? A trained vet would know that you don't go pulling out all the stops right off the bat because you'd get confident, cocky and full of yourself. I wouldn't be picky about it, IF Dace actually seemed like that during the match. Well, no, I certainly didn't see it last night (although, I might be half asleep, I haven't slept in two days now).

 

So, it's akin to something like Misawa/Kawada tried in their fued. Starting slow works, so what if I go straight for the big moves and end it fast? Just like that it didn't work. Toxxic was trying to put over how much stronger Dace is than him.

Toxxic said taking 4 straight moves from Dace would leave him clinicly dead. So that's what he goes to show, he takes a different angle from the normal and plays up the different. I dont see how Dace, writen by Toxxic is going to get cocky. It wasn't part of is plan, so it wasn't going to happpen.

 

You obviously missed the sarcasm. Next time, I'll add a kittysmile to show it (<-joke). Yes, I was nitpicking, I'm just in a very foul mood and wasn't about to rip that apart like I feel like doing now.

 

Fine, sorry. I've been other this with Toxxic and talked about it. Yes the comment comes from, bah I don't like the way that happen. But I did point out a little more backing up of actions would make things like that work fine.

 

...and the arm work would be the reason that this happened. But as you might've noticed, I had also felt it wasn't that great.

 

Ok

 

Match besides the flaws was excellently done. Toxxic has been all about that from everything I've seen him do. So I know either he or you had to have pulled out the stops for this one, and it didn't disappoint. Much.

 

It was Toxxic, and he showed he has the skill to step up to bigger things. He did a better job that I would have done in his position.

[Toxxic 0]

Shite, i don't like this being in the main event. People actually pay attention to your matches...

 

Anyway, in defence of my arm work - at the end I was trying to put over not only how strong Dace is, but also how deadly the often-shrugged-off German suplex is in his hands. A second German WOULD have beaten Toxxic, and Dace would not have done a release one on me because he would have seen Toxxic flip out of them too many times. So he tried for one that bridged into the pin - but because his right arm had been weakened, he couldn't hold it and Toxic flipped out anyway. Maybe I never mentioned that in the match text, I know I meant to.

 

I'm aware that I need to work on selling and transition, but I felt I wanted to defend that bit.

 

Incidently - who wrote the promo with me and Janus? Cos it didn't read like Dace's work.

[Lightning Flik 0]

So, it's akin to something like Misawa/Kawada tried in their fued. Starting slow works, so what if I go straight for the big moves and end it fast? Just like that it didn't work. Toxxic was trying to put over how much stronger Dace is than him.

Toxxic said taking 4 straight moves from Dace would leave him clinicly dead. So that's what he goes to show, he takes a different angle from the normal and plays up the different. I dont see how Dace, writen by Toxxic is going to get cocky. It wasn't part of is plan, so it wasn't going to happpen.

 

Ok... Got me there. Maybe I'll give him credit for that. Guess I'm little jiffed at my own no-selling earlier in my match and got a little jaded here.

 

(Edit: I don't mind the no-selling, but I've only got a Vital of 6, I don't think I should be no-selling that much)

 

As for the "self-confident, cocky, arrogant" self, I thought that if Toxxic wanted to put it over better, he probably should've made Dace seem a little over himself at the beginning, just so that when Toxxic knocks Dace around a little bit, it'll be a refresher for him and he'll go for those moves quickly to just show Toxxic not to mess with you.

 

I mean, we pretty much classify Toxxic's run up until he beat you, a Cinderella run, no? So give it a little flare. Nothing wrong with that (besides slight deviation of character).

 

You obviously missed the sarcasm. Next time, I'll add a kittysmile to show it (<-joke). Yes, I was nitpicking, I'm just in a very foul mood and wasn't about to rip that apart like I feel like doing now.

 

Fine, sorry. I've been other this with Toxxic and talked about it. Yes the comment comes from, bah I don't like the way that happen. But I did point out a little more backing up of actions would make things like that work fine.

 

No biggy. I'm more sorry for not explaning myself better (I probably should've added the kittysmile), and making a semi-flippiant response.

 

Match besides the flaws was excellently done. Toxxic has been all about that from everything I've seen him do. So I know either he or you had to have pulled out the stops for this one, and it didn't disappoint. Much.

 

It was Toxxic, and he showed he has the skill to step up to bigger things. He did a better job that I would have done in his position.

 

Dace I was giving props to both you guys; as you probably handed in hell of good matches for this one. I just started with Toxxic and segued into praise for both of you.

Edited March 30, 2004 by Lightning Flik

[Lightning Flik 0]

Shite, i don't like this being in the main event. People actually pay attention to your matches...

 

Anyway, in defence of my arm work - at the end I was trying to put over not only how strong Dace is, but also how deadly the often-shrugged-off German suplex is in his hands. A second German WOULD have beaten Toxxic, and Dace would not have done a release one on me because he would have seen Toxxic flip out of them too many times. So he tried for one that bridged into the pin - but because his right arm had been weakened, he couldn't hold it and Toxic flipped out anyway. Maybe I never mentioned that in the match text, I know I meant to.

 

I'm aware that I need to work on selling and transition, but I felt I wanted to defend that bit.

 

Incidently - who wrote the promo with me and Janus? Cos it didn't read like Dace's work.

Tough luck, Toxxic. Gotta reap what you sow. Meaning people pay more attention to your matches when you are in ME class.

 

If I was in better spirits, I probably would've talked about the other stuff in more detail, so don't think I went on ME just because. Next time, I'm busting out the reply that takes me like 6 hours to write up.

 

 

The arm work wasn't bad, Toxxic. Just a little questionable in how it was handled. Nothing really wrong with that, and with time, you'll do better at it.

 

No problems on the forefront Toxxic, these things sorta happen when you want to write your (writer's) style. Just depends on how you wish to set up what you write.

 

Story telling is a sense of taking every little detail you write, every little plot piece you set in motion, and combine them together that tells a story that has a determined sequence of events that comes off as something "realistic" to the reader. So don't worry if your selling or transitions aren't as polished as they can be, because as long as the story draws its readers into it, it has done that, regardless of its faults.

 

^ that had better sound like it meant something. I'm running without sleep for 48 hours now, so I'm trying to make sure I'm not pulling out lingo and I'm wrong here.

 

Promo - I'm thinking Janus might've been the guy who wrote that up.

[Guest Aecas]

Incidently - who wrote the promo with me and Janus? Cos it didn't read like Dace's work.

Um that would be Janus who wrote it mate

[Secret Agent 0]

Well Ejiro, if thats all I am suppose to be doing than thats what I already have been doing. I still don't see the problem with Transistions in my matches than, I always have it be one move, or a reversal of fortunes.

 

Also, nice job on those who can make little quote boxes of someone's comment on their matches, make defenses and what not for the match they were involved with, then completely no-sell the fact that their were other promo/matches on the show. Yes, I realize I haven't finished mine, but I will when I finish writting my portion of this match.

 

Come on peeps, comment on something other than your own!!

[Dace59 0]

See, transistions should definatly not awlays be just one move or a reversal of fortunes.

[Lightning Flik 0]

Come on peeps, comment on something other than your own!!

... I completely get no-sold. Like how I was in the match you made.

 

(^JOKE^)

[Toxxic 0]

Also, nice job on those who can make little quote boxes of someone's comment on their matches, make defenses and what not for the match they were involved with, then completely no-sell the fact that their were other promo/matches on the show.

I'm guessing that was directed at me... basically i still don't feel comfortable with commenting on other people's matches, since I haven't been here two months yet. I still generally look at a match and see a match - unless it's involving my character I don't really see the other parts. I'm not too hot on the individual points like sustained selling and transitions and stuff, as this thread has proved, and I still don't know any character except my own well enough to know what they would and wouldn't do...

 

so basically - give me a bit of time to really find my feet with regards to others and I'll join in.

[Ace309 0]

Shite, i don't like this being in the main event. People actually pay attention to your matches...

Ha! That's adorable!

 

By the end of my run no one was reading my matches. It's nice to be in the lower card for a bit because people have the stamina to read as far as my match. Everyone falls off by the main.

[Toxxic 0]

Please note all: Taamo thinks I'm adorable.

 

[Ace309 0]

And don't you forget it.