The OAO Mystery Science Theater 3000 Thread

[Slayer 0]

"Souptaker"

[KingPK 0]

"I call it 'Gastaker'."

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"She's turning around!"

"What? Did you say 'She's turning around'?"

"No Crow, I said 'She's spurning a clown'."

"Well I like that too! Where's the Visine?"

[Slayer 0]

"Lunchtaker"

[Slayer 0]

in honor of McDonald's bringing back the you-know-what

 

"I'd rather watch David Crosby eat a McRib sandwich..."

[Zack Malibu 0]

Back to Mitchell:

 

"How do you like your scotch?"

 

"Uh, by the quart."

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"You wanna lick it off?"

 

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

 

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"Forget the heroin..."

 

"That's for dessert!"

[Ted the Poster 0]

"Mittens? An action film called 'Mittens'?"

"Joe Don Baker IS Mittens. He's a cop."

[Zack Malibu 0]

HOT MERGING ACTION!

[Guest Smues]

MAN THAT GUYS GOT A SMALL FACE

[devo 0]

"Where does that guy even keep his acorns?"

 

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"You must follow them, and you must abide by the laws of time and space."

 

"Yeah, what are those again?"

 

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*is edited out of sight*

 

"Oops."

[Slayer 0]

Interesting note (to me): The main chick from Soultaker is from Wichita and went to Wichita State (my alma mater) on a theater scholarship

[... 0]

*is edited out of sight*

 

"Oops."

From "Girl in Gold Boots:"

 

*Buzz edited in*

 

"I'm back!"

[Ted the Poster 0]

"The Mount Rushmore of ugly."

[Guest Smues]

"Hey I just teleported here, it's impressive!"

 

"Does anybody notice that I'm here now?"

[... 0]

"Have you met my friend Count Chocula?"

 

"But what can you expect? HE'S ONLY A CHILD."

[KingPK 0]

*Guy gives Michele a joint and we see the bongo guy in slo-mo to edit out the drug use*

 

"Uh, it's actually a ham roll. I didn't think he would light it."

 

"Now I'm hungry and paranoid. Thanks."

[devo 0]

"You recognize him?"

 

"Sure I do, it's the guy with all the words."

 

"You mean the guy with all the bread."

 

"Words? Bread? Must be Samuel Johnson with a baguette."

[Guest Smues]

"This isn't anygood. Maybe what I heard earlier was the furnace kicking in or something."

[devo 0]

So, Devilfish. Might just be the most poorly edited movie ever made. Made for a great MST3K film because of that, though.

 

"The director's vision; lots of shots of things."

 

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"It was almost like a voice."

 

"A voice?"

 

"Did I say voice? I meant DOORKNOB."

 

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"Yes, here it is. Ten o'clock, heard voice filled with hate."

 

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"I like the color of your eyes."

 

"The rest of you is hideous. Bye!"

 

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"He'd sit on his mother's head if he had something to gain from it."

 

"Hot image, Bob!"

[Slayer 0]

*shot of blond girl on the beach*

 

"Blake Edwards' 'Point Ten'"

[Big McLargeHuge 0]

"Just because you can edit, doesn't mean you should."

 

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*Dude takes off glasses*

 

"I'm gonna kick your ass!"

 

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"I Knooow!"

[devo 0]

"C'mon beer, get in my mouth!"

 

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"Sorry about that electrician crack. My father's village was attacked by electricians."

 

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"We are from Europe! Ahahahahahahahaha, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..."

 

 

Every time I watch the credits, I can't help but laugh hysterically along with the 'bots.

[Art Sandusky 0]

This movie just hates anteaters.

[Ted the Poster 0]

"Yeah, old guys becoming pandas. That's the future!"

 

"Come, to my mall, to my atrium, yeah yeah..."

 

"Really, REALLY big brother."

[devo 0]

"Ident!"

 

"That's a shame, maybe you need a poly-vinyl coating."

[Guest Smues]

"Did we just switch to the dinner menu here?"

[Art Sandusky 0]

"Boy, good thing drugs came along."

[Ed Wood Caulfield 0]

"This is how much pure coccaine you will need to enjoy this film."

 

"So, this is public television huh? Suddenly, I feel like beating the crap out of Fred Rogers for some reason."

 

*****************************************************

 

*Raul Julia is thinking of something.*

 

"Man, I hate anteaters!"

 

*****************************************************

 

"Don't do that! You'll get mustard on his brain!"

 

"Is his brain sexy?"

 

*****************************************************

 

"You know what would make this movie good? Surf music! Man, surf music can make any movie good!"

 

*****************************************************

 

"Never saw a cinema in their lives!"

 

"Never saw a Chris Farley movie. Philistines!"

 

*****************************************************

 

"Mom! What are you doing here?"

 

"Why aren't you Puerto Rican?"

 

*****************************************************

 

"Here take this."

 

"Yum, Sweedish-Puerto Rican cooking!"

 

******************************************************

 

"Mom, my nuts."

 

"My nuts?"

 

If you listen closely, you can hear that Raul Julia is actually saying, "Mom, am I nuts?" He just says it so fast it sounds like he's saying, "Mom, my nuts."

[Ed Wood Caulfield 0]

You know, Raul Julia didn't really do a good Humphrey Bogart impression in Overdrawn At The Memory Bank.

[Guest Smues]

"Mom!"

 

"You want your spoon back?"

 

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"Wait mom!"

"I ordered salad!"

[Big McLargeHuge 0]

"How was your day at the whore?!"

 

Man, I haven't seen Giant Spider Invasion in ages.

 

"Packers won the Superbowl!"