Smackdown Spoilers- 26/5/04

[Guest Askewniverse]

Slightly more detailed spoilers (from lordsofpain), which I came across through A1Wrestling.

 

Dark Matches & Velocity

 

Funaki and Orlando Jordan d. John Heidenrich and Brad Cooper

 

The crowd popped huge for Funaki. Heidenrich and Cooper worked like old school heels. Nothing that stood out really. Funaki cleaned house and rolled Cooper in a small package for the win.

 

Matthews and DeMott come out for Velocity. A small delay, then the pyro.

 

FBI d. Billy Kidman/Paul London

 

Nunzio was still playing up his beating by the Taker by first running away from Kidman, then slapping Kidman...and running away from him. Paul London had a nice move where he jumped off the middle rope and stomped a charing Bull (ha ha) in the back. The match ends when the Bull shoves Kidman off the top rope and Nunzio gets the quick pin.

 

The mirror is brought out for Mark Jindrak.

 

Mark Jindrak w/ Teddy Long d. Shannon Moore

 

Before the match, we get the usual mic work from Teddy Long. Jindrak really dominated the match, at one point folding Moore with a clothesline. Jindrak dropkicked Moore then went right into his excercise routine. It was actually a little impressive since he really landed and did a push up in one motion. The match ends when Jindrak turns a crossbody into a gut buster, then hits the reflection of perfection.

 

Lil Nache comes back out and gets a monster pop and some WOOOOOOOOs. He was a bit surprised.

 

Billy Gunn d. Sakoda

 

First of all, Sakoda looks more mexican than japanese. Sakoda gets slapped around for a while before hiding behind Lil Nache. Gunn wins with the fameasser, and no one cared until the finish.

 

SmackDown!

After the usual recap of last week, the show starts with General Manager Kurt Angle on the screen. He says that as general manager, he's forced with tough decisions. He announces that not only will Eddie Guerrero be here tonight, but he's going to wrestle. He tells Eddie that he has responsibilities as champion to the fans and to Angle himself. Angle also announces that that EMTs will be on hand at ringside during the entire match if Eddie collapses...no...WHEN he collapses.

 

Pyro...

 

The Dudleys d. Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio

 

RVD has pyro again...who knew. It's what you'd expect from a match with the Dudleys and someone bigger than Rey. He played the helpless face. When the match started, Bubba kept reminding Rey that he was small. They did a test of strength and Rey won out by bending Bubba's fingers. During the match, Paul Heyman made his way to the front row through the crowd to a large ECW chant. After that, a "we want tables" chant broke out, to which Bubba responded "You ain't getting nothing." Rey got his second wind, moving from a D Von splash then throwing Bubba outside. Rey hits the 619 on D Von. He goes to the outside and Heyman jumps the railing and yanks Rey into the ring apron. Bubba grabs Rey and bodypresses him onto the announce table. RVD launches himself over the top and takes out Bubba. Heyman quickly rolls Rey into the ring and D Von pins him.

 

After a promo for the Great American Bash, a lengthy delay, and a random Angle Sucks chant we're backstage with the Dudleys. They're celebrating and Heyman is trying to get back into their locker room. He gets half way in and calls the security guard a facist bastard. Heyman proceeds to slap D Von and gets strangled by Bubba. Paul asks why they're happy after winning a match. They've been winning matches for 8 years. He reminds Bubba that he beat Eddie Guerrero, but he never got that main event shot. Why? Because they don't make an impact. He tells the Dudleys, tonight, to pick a victim and make an impact..even if it's him.

 

We come back from commercial and Michael Cole is in the ring. Word has come from Mr. Angle that the number one contender for the Great American Bash has been named. It's his next guest, John "Bradshaw" Leyfield. After the limo entrance, a recap of Judgement Day and last week is shown. After that ends, Cole asks what kind of man JBL is for pinning a helpless Eddie Guerrero, which got a big pop and started an "Eddie" chant. JBL grabs the mic and tells Cole never to question his manhood again, or he'll slap him into next week. Cole gets out of the ring.

 

JBL tells us what kind of man he is. He's a business man. A very smart and very rich business man. He says nothing was wrong with Eddie last week. Simply that Eddie didn't want to take another beating from JBL and he just layed down. Eddie is a coward, and what is wrong with America. Everyone in America is weak, and JBL is not. He says the beating he gave Eddie and Judgement Day was legendary, and the beating he's going to give Eddie at the Bash is going to be almost criminal. He says the belt should be his, which set the crowd off. Next week JBL is going to name the stipulation for their match and assures us that it's something we're all going to enjoy. End of promo. On the way to the back, JBL made Brian Hebner jump about 5 feet to the right when he acted like he was going to hit him. We're shown a promo video for the Divas DVD. They focused quite heavily on the women's wrestling from Raw...good confidence there.

 

Booker T d. Scotty 2 Hotty.

 

Scotty punched, kicked, and lost via sidekick. Total squash. After the match..yo, check it out, Booker has the mic. He says that he wants the Undertaker next week. He's interrupted by the lights going out and the ring filling with smoke. He says he's not scared, then "lightning" strikes the post. Booker looks around and then "lightning" strikes all four posts. Booker admits the Undertaker might be a little scary, but he's still going to beat him next week. Now can you dig that, sucka?

 

Out come the EMTs for Eddie's match.

 

Smackdown of the Night: Mordecai.

 

We come back and we see Mordecai surrounded by candles, kneeling infront of his sword. He says that he hears "his" voice echoing in his head. That he's going to punish people and make them suffer. He's picked his first sinner. Somone who soiled "his" house with false idolitry. This has just begun. He looks cooler on TV...

 

Eddie Guerrero vs. Danny Basham

 

Eddie comes out in the lowrider and is in there for what seemed like a long time. He got out and had a bit of that wide-eyed look from last week. Eddie yells at the EMTS then throws their gear and the stretcher around. He gets in the ring and tosses both Bashams out. He plays up to the crowd when General Manager Angle comes out and says he's been fooled. He's not just responsible for Eddie Guerrero being the champion, but he's also legally responsible for Eddie. He says that Eddie is not allowed to wrestle again until he sits down and signs a release. The Bashams came back and tried to attack, but Eddie handled him. The ringside guys make him stay in the ring and pose for a while until he eventually low rided out.

 

Almost immediately after that, General Manager Angle popped up on that little platform...then went back down.

 

It's announced that there will be a diva Summer Bikini Blastoff next week, or something to that effect.

 

Spike Dudley and Torrie Wilson d. Jamie Noble (Boy) and Dawn Marie

 

I honestly think Torrie weighs more than Spike, and that's not an insult to Torrie. Torrie's pants sagged down almost instantly, which was a nice treat. Torrie is thrown into the ropes and Noble hits her in the back. Spike then chases him around the ring. Running away from Spike...lord...anyway, the match ends when Spike hits the Dudley Dog onto Dawn for the pin. Both women looked good and there was simply too much ass from where I was sitting (directly infront of Dawn) to concentrate.

 

During this break, a guy near the front who looked exactly like Shelton Benjamin almost got into a fight with another guy.

 

We're treated to a video for the "bronze warrior" Kenzo Suzuki.

 

We're now backstage with Rico and Charlie Haas. They're talking about Miss Jackie and her bikini for the contest next week. We're shown Jackie behind a curtain. She has one more string to tie. She comes out, drops her robe, and we're given the between the legs camera. She asks what they think and Haas' mouth drops, while Rico starts telling her it's all wrong. The color scheme is all wrong, it shows too much skin on the left and...well, you get it. He tells her to go put on the OTHER one. As she goes back to change, Haas stands up and tries to watch. He's not listening to Rico and Rico slaps him on the ass to get his attention. While they're standing, Haas uses cleaver placement of the title belt to cover something up. Rico talks about Miss Jackie's OTHER bikini and tells Haas if he thinks that one is great, he should look at this. Rico drops his robe and models a speedo for Charlie. He asks what he thinks. Haas tells him it's all wrong. The color scheme is just horrible and that Rico, too, should put on the OTHER one. Rico smiles, thanks Charles for the great idea, and pinches him on the cheek. Segement ends with Haas asking himself what the hell he's doing.

 

We go to another segment, this time with John Cena in General Manager Angle's office. Kurt is upset because Cena went to the board of directors and pitched HIS idea for the Bash.Cena basically turns up the blackness and makes this watchable. After Kurt's rant, Cena tells him pentalty: illegal use of the mouth. Angle tells Cena that he can't wait for a Frenchman to become United States champion, and that he and Luther will be at ringside for the match.

 

We're now shown the outside of Chavo Classic's locker room. He has a large sign on it that says "Chavo Classic: WWE Cruiserweight Champion." Chavo barges in and Classic yells at him for not knocking, then slams the door in his face. Chavo knocks and asks Classic if he's ready. Classic opens the door and is all smiles. He's so ready, infact, he wants Chavo to go out first and introduce him. Tonight, the Crusierweight title is going old school.

 

Slam of the Week: Chavo Classic's win last week.

 

Oooooooooh Chaaaaaaavo... Chavo cuts a small promo and says that at first he was shocked and very upset about losing the title last week. But after some time, he's glad that it at least stayed in the family. He then brings out the greatest dad in the world, Chavo Classic. Classic is sporting his best Ric Flair robe.

 

Chavo Classic d. Akio

 

If you watch this match, it makes you appreciate how well Ric Flair works at his age. Chavo Classic took a few punches and kicks, delt them out also, but really couldn't do much more. Akio hit an amazing corkscrew moonsault on Classic for a two, thanks to Chavo. Classic dumped Akio on the outside, where Chavo hit a tornado DDT on Akio. He rolled Akio into the ring and Classic got the pin. Like someone in the section said, Chavo Classic gave him a jurassic ass whooping.

 

We're taken to the parking lot where the Dudleys are trying to put someone in the trunk of a car. After slamming the trunk on the person a few times, they get in and speed away. Paul Heyman enters the picture and picks up the urn on the ground, kisses it, and laughs.

 

After what seemed like 10 minutes of the t-shirt guy, the lumberjacks come out.

 

General Manager Angle comes out on the Anglemobile. Picture the pope mobile as a covered zamboni with Angle ontop. As Cena comes out, you can see Funaki doing his world life thing with his hands. Pretty funny.

 

John Cena d. Rene Dupree w/ Fifi

 

Dupree dominates from the very start. Eventually, Cena throws him to the outside directly infront of Rico. The crowd goes nuts. Dupree gets up and sees Rico doing his little grinding thing. Dupree shoves Rico and Haas grabs him from behind. He holds his hands away as Rico plants a giant kiss on him. Rico does the finger wave and the head shake as Dupree is thrown back in.

 

Dupree regains control and throws Cena outside and into the Anglemobile. A small "fight" breaks out between all of the lumberjacks as Cena goes back inside. Dupree does his little schuffle and drops an elbow on Cena. He follows it up with a reverse chinlock. He picks Cena up and sends him into the ropes, which Booker pulls down

the top. Now all hell breaks loose. I suggest watching for Scotty strangling Chavo. He got a little carried away. Anyway, Cena is thrown back in for a series of near falls, a Dupree schuffle, and another two count.

 

Cena counters a piledriver into a backdrop. Dupree hangs on, but Cena drops down and punches Dupree. Dupree goes for a clothesline, Cena ducks and hits the FU for the pin.

 

The face lumberjacks come in the ring to celebrate with Cena, at one point hoisting him up on their shoulders so he could taunt General Manager Angle.

 

The match itself was nothing spectacular. Dupree dominated the whole time. If it weren't for the lumberjacks (Rey and Rico most noteably) starting chants and clapping, there would have been next to nothing reaction wise.

 

After the Show:

 

Luther actually pulls the Anglemobile to the back. Cena gets on the mic and says we should let the WWE's version of Dr Evil know how much he sucks. He then asks us if Milwaukee is in this place tonight. A good pop. He says that pop was just good enough for "somewhere in Oaklahoma, or maybe New York or something." So he asks us if Milwaukee is really in this beyotch or what. A loud pop, for which Cena tells us we're on par for Los Angeles. He asks, a third time, if Milwaukee is really up in this bitch tonight and the place goes nuts. After the pop, a Cena chant breaks out.

 

Cena tells us that what we see in the ring is bigger than rap, bigger than wrestling, it's love. And he couldn't have done it without any of these guys watching his back...he turns to Rico and says he doesn't have to worry about Rico not watching his back. He's not going to judge him, it IS 2004, but he just doesn't swing that way. He says this is all family, and he loves each and every one of us. He says they feel it, they believe it, and they're willing to put their lifes on the line every night for us. Peace out, goodnight.

 

Random:

 

The entire upper level was blocked off, and what was left in the lower seating bowl was barely filled.

 

Biggest Pops:

 

1. John Cena

2. Eddie Guerrero

3. Undertaker anything

4. Rico/Haas segment.

5. Funaki's entrance during the

 

Biggest Heat:

 

1. JBL

2. Kurt Angle

3. The Dudleys

4/5. Flip a coin.

 

EDIT: separated the Velocity and SmackDown spoilers.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Meh. FBI vs. London/Kidman could be decent if given some time, S2H getting squashed is always fun, and Knoble is *SO* wasted in that match (he almost gets a win over Rey, but he's running away from Spike?).

 

Heidenreich on the SD roster? SD is SAVED

[muzz 0]

Funaki is carrying this show single handedly.

[Dark Age 0]

Sounds at least a little better than it has been lately.

 

Let me guess. Eddie/JBL is Last Man Standing. They keep playing up Eddie passing out or whatever. So Last Man Standing would be ideal to Bradshaw.

 

Booker/Cena at GAB? I don't care. Booker should be going after Eddie and Cena shouldn't be dropping the belt, whcih I think he will if he faces Booker. Booker gets screwed again I suspect. I'm sure he gets some sort of crappy tv win over Taker next week. Dudleyz vs Undertaker Handicap Match? God is this show horrible. Chavo vs Classic? Who, really, thinks this is a good idea?

[edotherocket 0]

...Bronze Warrior?!

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

I like how Mark Jindrak has faced Shannon Moore every other week on Velocity since joining SD.

[humongous2002 0]

Yawn, I guess is more Friends' reruns for me.

[NYU 0]

So, I guess it's going to be me that mentions that Judgment Day was less than 2 weeks ago, and we've already repeated:

 

RVD & Misterio vs. The Dudleys......

 

John Cena vs. Rene Dupree.......

 

Once again had Torrie Wilson fighting Dawn Marie....

 

Will be repeating Booker T vs. The Undertaker next week.....

 

Will be repeating Eddie Guerrero vs. JBL at the Bash.....

 

I mean, seriously now. It's not hard to mix-and-match wrestlers once in a while to get some relatively fresh matches. The Van Dam/Misterio vs. Dudleys matches are starting to get into that once-popular territory of constant Raw 2002 Austin/Bradshaw vs. nWo contests

[cabbageboy 0]

Oh god. Not the Austin/Bradshaw vs. the NWO contests. RVD and Rey could face the Duds from here till doomsday and it wouldn't approach that level of suck. Hell it's at least usually a *** matchup. I for one am just waiting for RVD to turn on Rey and join up with Heyman and the Dudleys.

[haVoc 0]

This company fucks with my head.

 

I try to be positive when it comes to Raw. The very few things I don't like I try to enjoy or deal with.

 

I just can't help but be negative when it comes to Smackdown. There isn't one single thing I can enjoy on this show at the moment.

[Guest wrestlingbs]

NYU, maybe they were just banking on the fact that nobody ordered the PPV.

 

Then again, nobody's watching SD either, including me (4+ weeks and counting).

 

Reasons to not watch this week:

 

-Akio gets showed how much Vince appreciates him by jobbing to a 50+ year old retired guy who shouldn't be wrestling at all.

-Eddy still is on the verge of collapsing even though JD was 13 days ago.

-Bradshaw's still getting his push.

-Mordy does nothing, again.

-Both Cena and Dupree continue to plunge down into mediocrity.

[Guest Trivia247]

Does anyone else have the fear of waking up in the morning turning on the puter and see on the wrestling newsboards

 

FLASH!!!

Smackdown has been Cancelled!!!

 

Vince Mcmahon washes his hands on the sinking cancerious Program Smackdown and lets it get cancelled..

 

the Smackdown Hour replaced by whatever crappy UPN Original programming for an hour.

 

the rest of the wrestlers on Smackdown is stuck doing House show work before reintergrated into Raw

[NYU 0]

NYU, maybe they were just banking on the fact that nobody ordered the PPV.

Then this could be a problem, because the Great American Bash is looking to be set up as a Judgment Day clone.

 

....

 

....well, except for certain major changes. Like this time around, Chavo Guerrero will be trying to win the Cruiserweight title from his senior citizen father instead of a untalented woman wrestler.

[Guest wrestlingbs]

Does anyone else have the fear of waking up in the morning turning on the puter and see on the wrestling newsboards

 

FLASH!!!

Smackdown has been Cancelled!!!

 

Vince Mcmahon washes his hands on the sinking cancerious Program Smackdown and lets it get cancelled..

 

the Smackdown Hour replaced by whatever crappy UPN Original programming for an hour.

 

the rest of the wrestlers on Smackdown is stuck doing House show work before reintergrated into Raw

At this point, besides Eddie Guerrero, it's hard to care about anybody on the SD roster, so yeah, pull the plug. The CW division dead, Taker's taking up space, and the only "new" stars the WWE wants to push on SD are the Dudleys, JBL, and Mordy. So yeah, screw it.

[BHK 0]

Put on great wrestling and build the angles around it, and not the other way around.

 

I don't care what Vince thinks, or how "sports entertainment" he wants to make things. It's still WRESTLING.

 

Even the casual fan knows it, and would follow it. I don't think it's jsut us that have an interest in the great matches. We just like the great wrestling more than other fans do.

 

Get rid of all the pathetic workers, the ones that put on 1/4*-*1/2 matches. they're worthless. Either that or put them all on Heat or Velocity.

 

Smackdown doesn't get better until the wrestling gets better, that's my personal opinion on the matter, anyway. I don't mind the JBL gimmick, but he can't WRESTLE. I don't pay $35 for a man who can't wrestle, or to see a 50 something year old man with the cruiserweight title. I just don't.

 

Someone needs to tell Vince this. Actually, I bet they have, and he won't listen.

[AndrewTS 0]

Smackdown still sucks? Good, more time to play Metal Slug 3 for me.

[David Blazenwing 0]

I don't know why, but I just feel like saying that I was at this week's SD!... look for me on TV. I was holding a sign that said "DAVID HEINRICH" with an arrow pointing down (that being my name, obviously). I know I got on during the Rey/RVD vs. Duds match b/c I saw my sign on the Tron. The other side was a Rey sign also, so ya might see me then.

 

..............................................................................

 

Yeah, I know... no one cares.

[The Mandarin 0]

It sounds okay. I may actually watch this week.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

I'm just going to record it this week and skip through the crap to see the two things interesting. Mordecai's vignette/promo, and maybe the RVD/Rey vs. Dudley Boyz Part 39 match.

[Guest J0bber]

Even the fake Smackdown Spoilers posted earlier seemed more eventful than this show.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Even the fake Smackdown Spoilers posted earlier seemed more eventful than this show.

Fake spoilers? Time to search for them...

[Aero 0]

Kurt is upset because Cena went to the board of directors and pitched HIS idea for the Bash.

 

So, any guesses on what the idea is?

[Dangerous K89 0]

That the Bash is free for the military.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

So, any guesses on what the idea is?

Probably some strippers, or Torrie Wilson and Sable playing around again, boring fans even more.

[thuganomics 0]

I would venture some rappers, and some military pandering, since it's Cena.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

The crowd popped huge for Funaki.

 

Push that man!

 

 

I'll watch just for the main event, other than that, another miss for this week. Good luck with the Bash! Yeah, right.

[Guest Anglesault]

So he asks us if Milwaukee is really in this beyotch or what.

What the fuck is a beyotch and why is Milwaukee in one?

[The Czech Republic 0]

I don't know why, but I just feel like saying that I was at this week's SD!... look for me on TV. I was holding a sign that said "DAVID HEINRICH" with an arrow pointing down (that being my name, obviously). I know I got on during the Rey/RVD vs. Duds match b/c I saw my sign on the Tron. The other side was a Rey sign also, so ya might see me then.

 

..............................................................................

 

Yeah, I know... no one cares.

So you're David Heinrich!

 

I was on the other side of the ring in the fourth row, I didn't have a sign of course, so I jsut yelled "Who the hell is Johnny The Bull?" during his match.

[Dark Age 0]

And did he respond?

[The Czech Republic 0]

And did he respond?

He gave me a dirty look.

 

 

When Kanyon had a dark match in September I yelled "I CAME TO SEE KANYON!" and he turned around and said "Yeah you did!" and that was awesome.