How To Not Suck At This.

[Guest Fire and Knives]

How To Not Suck At This: A Guide To (Re)Creating Your Character

 

 

I often listen to the sound of people beating their heads against the wall on due day because they’ve become supremely frustrated with the task of writing their opponent. Sometimes it’s because the characters simply aren’t compatible physically. Sometimes it’s because the characters have two wildly different styles. Sometimes it’s because somebody’s moveset flat-out sucks. Sometimes it’s because of the marker they’ve got or the match they have or they don’t like the arena or some other bullshit nonsense reason. People complain about a variety of problems that are all symptomatic of the same thing: very few people have characters flexible enough to compete reasonably well in this fed.

 

Fortunately for you fuckers, I’ve decided to take it upon myself to create a couple of loose guidelines for character creation that many of you seem unable to work out on your own. I’m going to keep the guidelines vague and the examples specific in the interest of making things as clear as I possibly can. Speaking of making things clear: if you’re doing something I disagree with, expect to see your name in here somewhere. Don’t expect me to allow you to drag this whole thing off into a flamewar because I might’ve hurt your feelings. Assume the pretense of being civil with me and I’ll assume the pretense of considering your side of the argument. It’s an opinion column; write one if I bother you so.

 

With that aside, I present to you: How Not To Suck At This.

 

 

One: Write What You Know.

 

 

There’s no point in writing something you’re not totally comfortable with, because you will undoubtedly be bad at it. Keep your character within the limits of what you know in terms of wrestling and stick to it regardless of what might happen. Amateur-style wrestling is a perfect example of this. Flesher knows his shit and he pulls it off very well; so did Mak, and so can Dace on occasion. The rest of us should not attempt this. Why? We call it ‘amateur-style wrestling’, that’s why. We don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about, so we should probably avoid it. Same goes for AJPW. Danny knows what he’s doing with it and he sticks with that style come hell or high water. The majority of the fed borrows the strikes and neck bumps because they look cool and has no real understanding of their significance in terms of that style of work. Either watch enough footage that you know what you’re doing or stick with what you already know. Overreaching always results in boredom and burnout. You may trust me on anything that involves boredom and burnout.

 

 

Two: Focus, Focus, Focus.

 

 

This is one of my pet peeves in terms of characters. People tend to throw every cool-looking move they can think of onto their move list, slap a head drop and a wacky submission into their Finishers section, and label themselves “Power...and technical!” It’s getting ridiculous, people. Everybody that’s joined recently, short of Ced, has no real coherence to their moveset. Focus doesn’t mean every move has to work a certain body part; focus on speed, focus on power, focus on your style, whatever it may be; focus on a defining characteristic and make it something that your character can be identified by. Toxxic is a great example of this. His style corresponds directly to his character’s personality, and it has the added bonus of consistently working the neck and/or arm should he choose to do so. Toxxic is flexible and focused, which is your ideal when creating a character so the rest of us don’t have to listen to you whine about a match you don’t know how to write because everything in your moveset is a sheer-drop flip-flop whatever the fuck.

 

The opposite extreme, of course, is being too focused. If every major signature move you have works the same area of the body or is the same style of move (i.e. weird suplexes – you people need to stop devaluing that shit RIGHT NOW), you will eventually encounter a situation where you either shift your character’s goals and style entirely or you lose, and either way you suck. The most glaring example of this I can think of offhand, is Alan Clark (act shocked here.) Every other move Clark has works the back – yet he abruptly switched to the legs in his second match against me. Keeping Kibagami as the example, Ced would be in the same boat as Clark – how does Ced justify kicking the legs out from under the guy with the strongest legs in the federation? And how do you weird suplex people write a match against Janus? You don’t – you no-show because your character is one-dimensional in the ring and then you blame Janus for having a big character. Focus your moveset, but leave enough room for common goddamn sense.

 

 

Three: Make Your Characters Human.

 

Nobody can do everything. Unfortunately, I can count on one hand the number of people in the fed that have an understanding of this. I’m tired of seeing people with 3 in strength and half a dozen signature suplexes. I’m tired of seeing people with a 5 in speed that try to wrestle like Wildchild whenever the whim strikes them. I’m tired of seeing people who list their character’s style as “power/technical/aerial/super-duper-undefeatable-kung-fu-chicken-stance”. Every wrestler should have at least one obvious weakness. Anybody who says that their wrestler can ‘do a little of everything’ and then writes a match where their wrestler shows up their opponent in every way imaginable is an asshole unless the opponent’s character is a total rookie. Even wrestlers like Silent and Thugg had weaknesses. Stop using this ‘well-rounded’ shit as an excuse to write whatever you want whenever you want to write it. Yes, this is an e-fed, and yes, we have a certain amount of leeway, but we also have to show a certain amount of respect to everybody else that’s writing or we’re going to end up like every two-bit Geocities RP fed where the owner is the champion and everybody has the same black-trenchcoat angst-ridden martial-arts-wannabe Raven ripoff.

 

 

Four: Pay Attention To The Rest Of The Fed.

 

This is the one that all of you will agree with and then ignore when it comes time to read Smarkdown. Somebody mentioned in Dace’s thread that it’s important to avoid other people’s moves when deciding on your finisher, yet we always seem to end up with certain moves that everybody is using. Right now, it’s neck bumps. It used to be ankle locks. Crusen remembers the horrible scourge that was the Ankle Lock As Finisher Era, and he will back me up when I tell you that it’s terribly important to consider the rest of the fed when you’re deciding on your moveset and character. Do we have a lot of angsty loners? Maybe you don’t need to write one. Do we have a lot of suplex-heavy characters? Maybe you don’t need eight suplexes yourself. Does everybody in or around the main event have a strike that is respected from match to match and is identified primarily with that character? Maybe you don’t need to try and bring back the Mongolian chop just so you can hop onto the last available space on that particular bandwagon.

 

Some of you may be wondering if I’m saying it’s wrong to use a move that somebody else is already using. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. There’s hundreds of wrestling moves available, and I refuse to believe that you just have to use the same half-dozen that everybody else is currently in love with. The Dangerous Backdrop is well on its way to becoming our fed’s version of the WWE’s rolling germans, and that’s fucking stupid, e-fed or not.

 

 

Five: Use Common Goddamn Sense.

 

The most basic guideline, and the most difficult to follow. There are just a couple of points I want to touch on for this segment. I feel that common sense, if it’s not self-explanatory, is something I cannot impart to you.

 

- Do not use a neck bump as a signature move.

- Actually think for a moment before tossing a neck bump in as your finisher because it looks cool. The Dangerlust and the Demonstar Driver are what neck bumps should be. You devalue months of work that other people have done when you’re too dull as a person to think of something that hasn’t been done earlier and better.

- Do not totally depart from your character’s style without letting your opponent know that you’re going to do so. And tell them why, for the love of Christ.

- Do not use the word ‘adrenaline’ when explaining why your crusierweight suplexed Janus or your brittle veteran kicked out of the Dark Star Driver.

- Do not use the words ‘fighting spirit’ when explaining why you wrote your green rookie outstriking Danny Williams.

- Do not blame your inability to adapt to things you don’t like on people that are at least as stubborn and narrow-minded as yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

And there we have it. So have at it, then.

 

K.

[Secret Agent 0]

Wow. I can't believe I'm saying this, but excellent, Kibs. I think this will benefit a lot of people if they take the time to read this.

 

I think I'm going to save this article and Dace's for future use on the net, if I can ever get off my ass and finish something up... so long as it is okay with you.

[the.weej 0]

I do wonder how many people may use this as a catalyst to change their stats.

 

And you forgot a common sense note, Kibagami:

- Do not name every fucking move in your stats, particularly when said move is about as common as white paint on a wall. Your move names are not that interesting; your moves are not that special.

 

-Z

[King Cucaracha 0]

Wow.

 

At least I didn't get mentioned by name, but I'm pretty certain 4 out of 5 of those apply to me, so...it's a good job I've got new stats waiting to go up after my match.

 

- Do not name every fucking move in your stats, particularly when said move is about as common as white paint on a wall. Your move names are not that interesting; your moves are not that special.

 

In my defense because I'm the worst culprit, it's purely egotisitical. And I found a dictionary lying around one day.

 

[Above Average 0]

I only find one issue with this article and that is saying that a -- as in the singular sense -- neck bump not be placed in the signature stat category. My stats have the cobra clutch suplex in them, and I'll defend that moves placement to my dying breath. It complements rolling germans and holds a certain amount of believability that lends itself to near fall situations. Plus, its legit enough to win a match, but reasonably kick out of, even chained behind two rolling germans. Tom, in particular, help me organize my stats early in the JL, but one thing I learned after his help, is that you must have moves that lend themselves towards an opponent writing offensive flurries, understandable comebacks, leading towards believable near falls. Multiple believable near falls. Moves or situational attacks that when lined together create suspense.

 

I won't say I haven't noticed people tossing around headrops, but I maintain that one can give your character a depth -- or mean streak, if you will -- that is necessary.

[Toxxic 0]

I get named as having a focused moveset, w00t. And a "suitable" neckbumping move. I am aware that it's probably wrong for me to have all my sig moves named but at least I don't name my individual punches (I'm sure someone did that once - Cuttrhoat, maybe?).

 

Although since I'm wrestling him at the moment, I'd like to know how Danny Williams with 'Style: Power wrestler, but Danny is able to take it to the mat, brawl and do high-flying stuff with the best of them' escaped Kibs' ire

 

And Landon - new stats AGAIN!? You update your movelist more than i do! Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep your SD5 CAW up-to-date?

 

*sulks*

[Ace309 0]

Several of these apply to me.

 

I'm allowed. I'm grandfathered in. (Y)

[Rawknight 0]

Chicken Boo was the master of the super-duper-undefeatable-kung-fu-chicken-stance

[Guest Fire and Knives]

I only find one issue with this article and that is saying that a -- as in the singular sense -- neck bump not be placed in the signature stat category. My stats have the cobra clutch suplex in them, and I'll defend that moves placement to my dying breath. It complements rolling germans and holds a certain amount of believability that lends itself to near fall situations. Plus, its legit enough to win a match, but reasonably kick out of, even chained behind two rolling germans. Tom, in particular, help me organize my stats early in the JL, but one thing I learned after his help, is that you must have moves that lend themselves towards an opponent writing offensive flurries, understandable comebacks, leading towards believable near falls. Multiple believable near falls. Moves or situational attacks that when lined together create suspense.

 

I won't say I haven't noticed people tossing around headrops, but I maintain that one can give your character a depth -- or mean streak, if you will -- that is necessary.

I understand your point, and in terms of your character, the cobra clutch suplex does make sense. When a neck bump is used as a credible nearfall in a consistent fashion, you end up with stuff like half-nelson suplexes and Dangerous Germans, and those have their place.

 

The problem is that for every person that's using a neck bump that way, there's two more that have multiple neck bumps in their signatures plus a really convoluted neck bump as Finisher Death. Sometimes a neck bump is death on a stick and sometimes it's a close two-count. It doesn't make any goddamn sense in terms of the fed as a whole, which happens when nobody pays attention to anything outside of their own precious widdle writings.

 

This whimsical approach to the neck bump makes the nearfalls seem like they should be finishers and it makes Finisher Death look negotiable - when Alan Clark is up and skipping around the locker room after taking a screwdriver from a man that stands over seven feet tall, it's time to take a step back and consider the possibility that maybe we should all start paying a little more attention. It's a really bizarre duality in the fed that I think needs to be addressed, and I'm of the opinion that it'd be easier to find a different Nearfall of Potential Doom than it would be to get everybody to pull their heads out of their asses and stop abusing Finisher Death just because a lot of extremely dangerous moves happen to look pretty.

 

K.

[Dace59 0]

I think Kibs is right. In a fed like this, you have to be aware of what other people are doing this moves.

 

The gap between the movesets of those in the upper card and those in the mid/lower card is almost like that between a big name fed and a bunch of indie kids at times.

 

Guys like Kibagami, Tom, Danny have sent a lot of time building certain moves or sets of moves up to get them over. And that has to be respected.

 

You can have a few bigger moves as siganture moves, but there's a line you shouldn't cross. Look at the Rolling Germans, with some of the work being done in this fed (hell, Danny beat Ejiro with a Dangerous German in their world title rematch) 3 Rolling Germans from someone is gonna take out any low vit cruiserweight.

[King Cucaracha 0]

And Landon - new stats AGAIN!? You update your movelist more than i do! Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep your SD5 CAW up-to-date?

Well, I've been meaning to 'drastically' change my stats for a while.

 

Since the indy-spotfest style stats I had weren't fitting with the ICTV Title division, I haven't had a Cruiser Title shot in months, this, and the fact I had about 25 'common' moves...I thought this was the perfect time.

 

 

Oh...and I'm eagerly awaiting the 'How to write a headlock spot' article to go with the three that popped up.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Kibs is right, but I just want to clear up my own little demons as far as my moveset and character and etc, since i am quite guilty of it.

 

I have finally gotten my character into something that I like and can enjoy working with. When I first came in, I wanted to use the Bloodshed character because it had alot of history behind it. I soon found myself unable to really capture the true essence of the character outside of the Mall Brawl. Bloodshed is and always has been what has been described by others in other feds as "a scary fraternity brother", basically a guy that likes to fuck around but you don't wanna piss off when angry.

 

Bringing in the Apostle as a character was my mistake, but I was getting sick of the Bloodshed character and wanted a change. When I envisioned my storyline with Craig, it was my chance to get away from Bloodshed, and so I just wrote into it (yes, it was a goofy storyline, but the only thing that wasn't true in the history of the story was the fact that Craig and Ebon weren't actually the same person - everything else in the story was true from an old e-fed).

 

Then came the Alan Clark stuff. I saw Apostle as a mistake and wanted to change it. I also needed a break (burnout) so I took it and came back under my "real name" and have used it since.

 

Now, Kibs points out my back work to leg work switch. I was sick of constantly writing the back as a focus point and when the storyline with Royal/Landon came up, I decided that I would fabricate the Ordonez mentoring out of the fact that he was a JL referee and that Clark was a fan. It was nearly the same story I was hoping to do with a WF veteran if i got the chance to. Also, with Royal using the figure four and Ced using the reverse, I thought it would be perfect. So my style changed to fit working the legs (showing what i learned from Ced) and I don't plan to go back.

 

Do I have moves that work the back or neck still? Sure. Most are only as callbacks to Bloodshed or Apostle and sit in my rare moves list. The other, the OTD, was brought out simply for Empty Arena and if i ever bust it out again...there will have to be a LONG story behind it and enough reason for Alan to do it.

 

So I finally have myself with a character I like to write that has a storyline reason for nearly everything that has happened to him. My moveset might not be perfect, but alot of it deals with Alan as a character wanting to pop the crowd just as much as win the match, unless facing certain opponents where winning is more important.

 

Man, that was long. I apologize.

[Rawknight 0]

Random Point - The most named moves I've seen on a real life dude is about 5 for Danny Doring - Bareback, Ohio Jam, Panty Drop Elbow, G-Spot Sweep, Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am. (Plus the Buggy Bang and Lancaster Lariat of Lust in the double teams section)

[King Cucaracha 0]

What about Low Ki?

[Coffin Surfer 0]

Although since I'm wrestling him at the moment, I'd like to know how Danny Williams with 'Style: Power wrestler, but Danny is able to take it to the mat, brawl and do high-flying stuff with the best of them' escaped Kibs' ire

Because I've done been over it about 1000 times.

 

1. Danny Williams' athleticism and well rounded skills is about on par with say a bigger version of Dynamite Kid, Tommy Rogers, and Chris Beniot. If you need a better comparision more like a young Scott Steiner or Davey Boy Smith, possibly 97 Misawa when he was about 245(Danny's weight BTW) and could still move.

 

2. The best techincal wrestler thing was never my idea, that's just a label others gave me. He's on the top tier I'd say, but it's not out of the oridnary for a crusier to out wrestle him....see Francis, Masked Man, Flesher, Ejiro and probably more as guys I've had outwrestle Williams.

 

3. Williams does do some high flying but it's no more than say a guy like Johnny Ace or Steven Williams would do, both of which are waaaay bigger and rather clumsly. Nothing Danny does in the air is terribly complex or demanding.

 

4. As far as striking goes, yes I like the elbows to be respected however it's not uncommon to have more proficient strikers best him like I had....J.D., Kibs, Duran and others do.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

Well rounded and balanced out is good... as powerful as Danny is... He's not going to be screwdrivering Janus.

 

As decent a wrestler as JD is, I don't have him schooling Flesger

 

 

As fast as some wrestlers are, they all are outrun by the Wildchild... your stats and your moves work together interdependently

[Toxxic 0]

Danny - that was kind of a joke and I know that your character is recognised as one of the best all-rounders in the fed.

 

It was just that "with the best of them" phrase that implies that you can wrestle with Flesher, brawl with Kibagami and fly with Wildchild. I know it doesn't mean that, but since Kibs went off on a little bit of a rant about similar stuff I was surprised you weren't at least mentioned

[Coffin Surfer 0]

It was just that "with the best of them" phrase that implies that you can wrestle with Flesher, brawl with Kibagami and fly with Wildchild. I know it doesn't mean that, but since Kibs went off on a little bit of a rant about similar stuff I was surprised you weren't at least mentioned

The "Best of them" is suppose to only apply to the mat wrestling part. Originally it was a whole paragraph with a sentence saying something like but he won't be able to keep up with guys like Flesher and Francis on the mat or fly like Wildchild. But after thinking about it, it really depends on the match and the story the writer is trying to tale, so I decided to leave it more open to interpretation. It's also rather obvious that Danny can't fly like Wildchild since he doesn't have as complex high flying moves.

[Coffin Surfer 0]

Sorry, triple post for reasons unknown.

[Coffin Surfer 0]

Sorry, triple post for reasons unknown.

[Ced 0]

To start, I'd like to say that all of Kibs' suggestions are completely valid and should be duly noted.

 

Keeping Kibagami as the example, Ced would be in the same boat as Clark – how does Ced justify kicking the legs out from under the guy with the strongest legs in the federation?

I'll kick you in the legs. Alot. Until your legs bruise. And you'll fall down. Then I'll stunner you. Then I'll make you tap. With an armbar. Through a table. 1, 2, 3, brother. Cubs win the World Series.

 

OK, now that I gotten the non-sensical, smart-ass remark out of my system...

 

To be my own apologist, note that I've added some semblance of a Plan B into my moveset with the drop moves (kneedrop, senton, et al). That's what I'd have to fall back on in addition to the limited number of strikes I have. Not a perfect substitute for Ced's penchant of attacking the legs, but I feel I could still write a credible winning match against Kibs or any other SWF character that didn't completely undermine either character.

 

Personally, I feel my moveset right now is the best moveset I've compiled for Ced. While I was away, I took out moves I never, ever, ever had the opportunity to use logically (O.T.D., anyone?) along with the moves I added with no apparent logic (mongolian chops and a diving headbutt) and replaced them moves that are within the realm of plausibility for the likes of Ced Ordonez.