Smarkdown Comments

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Because I'm a champion. Yes, yes. I rule. I'll try to review the show later. We'll see. Good job to all who wrote. Good job to me.

[Kaertos 0]

I just want to apologize. Normally, I have a reason, or at the least a good excuse for not turning in matches. Not this time. I flat-out forgot I needed to mark matches last night. So, huge apologies to everyone in the Fed.

[King Cucaracha 0]

My board tags worked and Toxxic's didn't! HA! VICTORY~!

 

 

...and I won. Surprising but pleasing.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

I guess I’ll be doing a rundown of every show now. So for all you lazy bastards who don’t want to read the show, I give you…

 

 

The Rundown.

Starring The Rock, Stiffler, That Girl, and Christopher Walken.

 

 

 

- Dace opens the show with us. He wants the title, but most importantly, he wants Janus’ ass. Take that for what you will. While leaving the ring, Dace cuts a cameraman open with a pair of scissors.

 

- Card.

 

- “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins defeats Austin Sly with a German Suplex to become the NEW SWF Cruiserweight Champion. New Japan pride, bitches. I actually owe a lot of thanks to Kibs and Z. They inadvertently helped me with the Psych of my match.

 

- Drea gets a phone call, but decides to listen to the ring tone instead. She picks up, and Zenon wants to see her. I would of listened to the ring tone instead of talking to Z, too.

 

- Backstage, TEAM STRIKE FORCE has a meeting. Toxxic goes through his previous victories, while trying to help Spike get ready for his match (which happened earlier in the night….OHMYGODMESSUP2K4!). Let’s just say it’s due to technical difficulties. Davis joins the meeting, and Spike tries to enlighten him about Dace…. bringing up D@mnation in a Box. That match hurt.

 

- Dace Night defeats Sean Davis with a Defenestration DDT. Son of a bitch. After the match, Dace cut the T-Shirt guy open with a pair of scissors.

 

- Ace Lezaire defeats Robert Gilbert in a Hardcore match via submission with a Surfboard assisted by a choke out with a kendo stick. Innovative. Not as cool as the KICK WHAM STUNNER, though.

 

- Birdman defeats Petey the Irish Penguin in a ***** match with the Bird Droppings…Match of the Night, and a possible Match of the Year Candidate.

 

- Drea shows up at the building, and runs into Masked Man. Yes, that is the whole segment.

 

- Toxxic defeats Jamie Drazon with a Intoxxication. Dude, this guy has about 12 finishers with the word “Toxx” in it. I think that’s why he is the leader of the most powerful stable EVER………….in the past 2 months at least.

 

- Drea still can’t find Zenon’s office. I think it’s the one that says “Zenon” on the door. She runs into Ash trying to rape several jobbers. Interesting…Thoth err…Ted makes an appearance again. This time, DREA GOES FOR HIM! But her car was stolen by “Careless” Mark Jindrak and Repo Man. Where is Lizzy Borden to book them in a Car on a Pole Match?

 

- Martin "Big Country" Hunt and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix defeat Ryan Dustin and Johnny Dangerous when Landon pinned Dustin after a Crash Landon. Due to a pre-match stipulation, Landon and Hunt pick the stipulation to their singles matches with Johnny and Dustin, respectively. MUCH MORE MADDIX!

 

- "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart defeats Manson via submission with the Artic Circle. Yep……..VLADIMIR!

 

- “The Superior One” Tom Flesher defeats CED Ordonez with…ADF II? Flesher, you crazy son of a bitch. Next, you’ll be stealing the Jumping Mew Driver! +1 for making fun of Ash.

 

- Next up is Todd Cortez vs. The Masked Man for the USJL Championship………NO IT’S NOT! SWERVE~! Actually, MM and Todd are now the tag team champions while Mike is gone. And they are known as 42nd Street………interesting. It is better then the name that Davis and me were going to use. TEAM PURPLE~!

 

- In the main event, Janus murdered the Boyscouts when he Demonstar Drivered Rando. YOU BETTER FUCKING SELL THAT, BITCH. That is the reason why Janus is our world champion. Not because Zed had to make a out-of-the-blue main event for 13th Hour. No way.

[Guest Tonights Highlite]

I have to say sorry to Johnny as my internet went bye-bye at home again. It caused us to get our plan together late and now it's cost us a chance at winning. I came online at 8 asking King for an extension and the dial-up cut off, like it does sometimes... but then I couldn't get back on. At all. I hate dial up. I really hate to post at work, since everything is monitored, but I don't know when my home internet will come back. It's been on again off again so I'll have to figure something out. When my home internet comes back I'll post the match if you want me to Johnny.

[Guest Suicide King]

God help me Spike, but from your descriptions I thought Dace had honestly cut open two people with scissors in his promo and match. You made me go read his stuff entirely! Clever, but evil.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

I do what I can.

 

 

 

Clever, but evil? From the King? I'm honored.

[Toxxic 0]

Team Purple? You guys are on the verge of losing my leadership qualities if that's the best you can do. You'd just better call you finisher the 'Perfect Spike', that's all I'm saying.

 

And janus is a bitch for using the Denonstar. Is the Rage Unleashed not enough!?

 

Good show though, congrats to all.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

I still think we should of gone with "Teamo Supremo" instead of Revolution Zero.

[Guest Ghetto Bird]

Did Petey show?

[Ace309 0]

Judging by his entry in the losing matches thread, I'd say no.

[The Ill One 0]

Nope, I didn't. Kudos to Spike.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

I'm a little pissed I had to noshow because of a bullshit storm. My first access since last night, where I abandoned the match for the safety of my computer. Apologies to Toxxic, but I assume he finished a decent match. Comments to come.

[Dace59 0]

And it's comment time again and picking the second now regular Match of the Night (Note, every single MOTN choice I make is up for change if enough of you post to disagree and put forwards a better match on the show).

 

Opening promo:

 

My usual crappy promo where I try to crowbar myself into the ME (it'd be nice to have a face in there after all)

 

Opening match.

 

Ohhh... Spike's being pimped out and for the first time it's not as a prision bitch. Anyway, things start of, dramatic spacing but I think it's too early for that, especially in a fast moving cruiserweight title match as well. It also means later on there will either need even more dramatic spacing or it will look less dramatic as a result. But it's good to see the fans crapped on both guys in a heel/heel match rather than having a de-facto face. Makes for a much better atmosphere really. But then it moves into a decent cruiser match, Sly out pacing Spike at start with some simple by flashy counters. Nice to see the he's had one match joke banded around as well. And the 'fucking' joke as well...only in Philli. Sly goes after Spike's knee and an old injury, looking like a good champ that knows what he's pulling off. Spike's actually cracking out some fairly good jokes in the commentry here without killing any flow. Again Sly's cockiness costs him like it almost did against Dustin as Spike has time to recover and nail and enzuigiri. Spike ends up looking on a submission with his legs, which isn't smart for it's for an easy transistion move by Sly. And Sly goes after the knee again and the crowd just dont care...brilliant. I do like the roll up from the Deathlock as it would work as well. This is certain one of Spike's best written matches (barring the over kill on spacing to soon) All very good to read, follows and flows well and seems to have a plan to it. Spike with a come back and going after Sly's neck to set up his finisher. But why is Spike climbing the ropes when he doesnt need to fly to win and has show he can hold is own against Sly on the mat and when brawling. It's a slightly contrived transistion and does break from what Spike was doing. Tease the sudden roll up of doom for some cheap heat as well. Nice to see Spike selling the block to the Sky Surfer as well, a much needed touch. Not sure about the end, with Spike's leg giving out in the bridge but him still albe to pin Austin normally. A little holey in places but far from horrible. Definatly shows what Spike can do when he does try and that he won't have a huge mountain to climb to get better.

 

Promo time:

 

Andrea has the weirdist ringtone ever...really, really strange. Oh, and she's headed to the arena.

 

Back to back Promos:

 

I do mark for the Star Wars joke being a geek. and the jokes about Spike's sexual antics. The certainly seems to be a lot of sex talk in the fed at the moment. Strange people that we are. It's an interesting dynaimc forming between Rev-0 and it's making for a good promo. Nice to see me getting put over, even with my completely whorish character.

 

My Match:

 

I do my thing, I beat the guy...go me with my crap.

 

Hardcore Match goodness now:

 

Few opening jokes that are standard but that I always love. And the fact it's the two wimpist guys in the fed just makes it even more fun. When Muzz is feeling it, he really does remind you that he's a former world champion and that he's got the writing skills to carry pretty much anything off and make it good to read. Sweet Zombie Jesus it's a kick to the nuts. And then an Iron Claw to the match, it's Groin Psych and Muzz is having fun with it. Easily turning in into a fun and well written heel/heel hardcore match that plays off previous matches the two have been in as well. Even Steven the Cameraman gets invloved in this madness before a Kendo Stick comes into play as well. Back and forth hi-jinks with intereferance against both men. Ace Crusher, blocked, Chain Assisted Fist Drop scores....nothing uberly hardcore, but it's built up well around these two guys not being very tough. And in the end, Ace chokes out Gilbert with a nice Kendo stick assisted Inverted Surfboard. Fun little hardcore match that's built around it's situations.

 

Two guys in bird suits fight now match:

 

First time I've seen script style used with action notes on the speaking style as in a real script. Makes a chance, though it seems a little awarkd at times as it's noth something you're used to seeing. Little to much spacing here and there between the lines which draws things out to much, but that's just a minor formatting thing. Not the easiest character to have your first match against, but Birdman does manage, even if it starts off feeling a little rookie-ish due to being a new character. Not much of a match plan, but the wrestling writing is soild and as good as any other new writer. Using things of pacing and description need to be added and worked on. But it's a soild base and a character what will work against more serious opponents. Andother good first match that promeses imporvement and good things in the future.

 

Promo again:

 

And Andrea has more wacky fun on here way to Zenon's office.

 

And now for a Straight Edger against a Drug Nutter:

 

More Pepsi Max jokes. Just wait till they sue us guys, just wait! Usual fun signs jokes and banter to kick with one into gear. Toxxic continues his run of avoiding the best weapons of the strikers, be that a good thing or a bad thing. And Toxxic has to go on the speed offensive against the Hardcore Maniac to have a chance. Toxxic gets shot down in mid air and JD goes straight to the knee, to ground Toxxic and set up the Avenger. Blocks the Figure Four and flies off the ropes but has it cost him, as Toxxic strikes a balance between the damange he'll take flying and the fact he needs the big guns to take JD down. Ok, Toxxic flipping out of the Release German is becoming like Kidman's Powerbomb Counter. JD breaks out a Release German when a none release would have worked. It's a bit of a logic and transistion flaw that needs to be worked on, but it's not a total cliche yet as it's not seen in every match, however mention is made of the landing on the leg, and shows it's hurt but not to any real amount yet. Strike dodging, as Toxxic speed loses out to JD's striking skill and expereince for the knee to get taken out again. I DO really like the botched Kip-Up spot, as I was about to cringe when I saw it up it turned out to be something very good. TSS gets a close fall for Toxxic. But then pays for getting cocky agaisnt someone like JD and just gets low-blowed. Toxxic franticly escaping the Avenger as he likes to walk with his own legs and all that stuff. Not to sure about JD going up top when he plants Toxxic. He's been going for the Cross Legbar then just stops to take a risk he doesnt need. Still, nice Canadian joke in there. The knee buckles completey as Toxxic goes for the Role Reversal, Toxxic counters and is suddenly able to run up the buckles to hit the finish. But oh well, still a good match.

 

Again promo madness:

 

Some mention of oldschool names for a few pops as the journy goes onwards.

 

Tag Team action is up next folks. So enjoy:

 

Nice to see a random team paring coming out as a team. It's a little touch, that with the heels here just makes Landon look THAT much more smug and helps bring Hunt up to everyone else's level by riding the coattails. Ahh, some caption obvious jokes, always good for a pop. Johnny pretty much nosells the Big Country Knee Drop but gets batted to the outside for his troubles anyway. Some good oldschool heel double teaming goin on to the poor face. Dustin makes the save as Maddix breaks out some of his flashy offence. But this just allows Hunt to come in and lay Johnny out again. Hunt comes in and they're going after Johnny's face...dodgy fued coming up I see. Maddix continues to go after Johnny's face, just pounding on it. Dustin makes the save and takes Hunt out as he goes up to. A very sold Face in Peril situation and frustrated partner thing is set up here and it's working well. Hunt is'nt doing anything great, but he doesnt seem out of place or out of his depth. Maddix treating Hunt like cattles shows his ego and all, as well as making for a good heel dyanmic. It's a really good and extended heat segement, but the crowd begging for the tag and cheering Johnny on seems to be slightly lacking in the situation. A teased come back that gets cut of right away for even more heat. A seconded teased come back before Johnny finally makes the hot tag. Dustin and Hunt take things to the outside as Maddix and Johnny carry on the fight in the ring. Dustin comes back into the action to take Maddix down and score a close fall. Hunt finnally has enough of Maddix shoving him around and ends up tripping, just to get slapped by Maddix but Hunt slaps him back. Pair of ducked Superkicks leads to a fast roll up for a quick fall. More hot hots that dont get the job done. Hunt and Johnny are busy on the outside, as Dustin gets caught into the exposed buckle and pinned. Pretty good take match where the only thing that doesn't get played off is the work on Johnny's face.

 

And now for another 'n00b' match:

 

Interestingly, the first match of Aecas' I've actually reviewed since I started doing this you know. Little mask joke to break some of the ice and a some background about Vlad to fill in one ot two things that's good. Just like on the last show, Manson gets offered a handshake and slaps it away. Manson takes control quickly, working over the newer, less expereienced wrestler. But Vlad shows off some of his speed to get control back. Aecas hasn't had any problems shifting over to writing with his new character, so he has no problems with his commentry or the way he calls his action and how everything plays out. Manso gets in a flurry of offenece, but Vlad goes after his bad knee just like Dace did, again following on from the show before. Once again, Manson ends up almost losing to a Single Leg Crab. And again, Manson fights out to a desperate counter to score a Dragon Suplex for an ultra close fall. And again the Diamond Cutter is countered and into the Drop Toe Hold, STF, rolls over to Invert it and Manson taps out. Plays a lot off the match against Dace, steps up the the new character nicely and shows what he can do without doing a squash.

 

More match goodness:

 

I'm really worried about that Allison Onita strapon sight. Really worried. Flesher breaks out his usual range of jokes and witty comments to open things up. And it's very good to see the whole ego trip entrance announcments again as well. I see Flesher's finally dropping the beer belly to as well. Starts off fast and free, with Tom scoring an early one count just to have Ced out pace him and trap him in the counter with a wall of kicks. Flesher dodges and elbow drop to get back on the offensive with a palm strike fully just to be a dick. Allison gets invloved and starts to choked Ced while Tom keeps the ref busy because it's Tom Flesher and he's a dick damn it. Another fall, Ced fights back and again uses his speed to outpace Flesher and take him down to win back the advantage. Another nice Allison spot as he pushes the rope towards Tom as he tries to stop a Mexican Surfboard from being locked on. But it's not enough to stop Ced to out pacing him once again and nail him with a dropkick for another cover. Bwahaha @ Allison being the slut to destract the ref as Flesher just dumps Ced over the ropes to the floor. Back in, Ced takes a Railgun but avoids the German and scores a roll up. Flesher has no problem making the match fair between these two and balancing off their strenghts. And the Springbroad Rana to the outside plays that up perfectly as Ced wipes Flesher out. Very nice little psych with not going up top for a dive, after the missed elbow and the Dangerous match from before. But Flesher recovers, shove off, Double Stomp again playing off and using the ADFII just like he used the Caffine Bomb and it gets the win. Another very good Flesher Match that I can't really say anything bad about.

 

For even more Smarkdown action now:

 

But it's not a match. TMM is out to talk to Todd about the Tag Situation and what's going on...they're teaming up to defend the tag title! Snazzy little promo number and it ties up the whole needing a partner thing. TMM's writing style just makes it so funny to read anyway.

 

And now, for out Main Event of the evening Folks:

 

A sweet range of joke signs in the crowd because all our fans are smart. Damn Smart. It's all just there to show Janus doesn't care and that he's going to rip a path of destruction because he's going to hold onto the World Title. Eddy J might be able to match Janus in power, but he doesnt have the size, skill or expereince to use it, so Janus just goes straight throuhg him like a hot knife. James franticly tries to beat Janus down with power he's not used to facing but doesn't have the skills to face the Hell Machine and just gets planted again. The Wayward Sons have the break out the double teams to really hurt Janus, but even a Frog Splash from Clark doesn't really do anything to the Hell Machine. The just plan dsetroying of Clark and throwing him into the corner for Eddy J to tag to just makes Janus look like that much of a sick monster that can crush all. Finally James looks threatening as he uses his power to take it to Janus and evend o some damange to the big man. But again Janus just tosses James out and leaves both of the Wayward Sons' down on the outside. Oh.....my.................fucking........................god! Janus with a Diving Double Clothesline. I'm not even sure if that should be possible for him....but what a fucking image....my god! Press Slamming Clark back into the ring just to show off. A wild low blow is the only thing that stops Janus' murder advance. Now the Wayward Sons have a chance to get in some real offence agast the monster. Janust just stops that though when Eddy J coes for a Lariat and just gets Knuckle Bombed. But the Clark shifts to the attack, using his speed to dodge away from Janus and nail him. Janus doesn't look invinicable but it still looks like he's only in any hint of trouble because he's facing two men at once. And play size and experience against James being just as strong as well. James tries to interfere and save Clark but Janus just brushes him aside and kills him again. James comes back in again, only to take a Knuckle Bomb combo and get booted out. Again Clark goes for the Rana, but gets a Demonstar Fucking Driver for his troubles. Kibagami created the monster...and now the monster twists the legacy. Brilliant. Janus is the World Champ and again shows he definatly has every right to be. Great match, commentry picking up on everything and even furthing the dynamic of the Wayward Sons. Good work mate.

 

 

Match Of The Night:

 

It's...... Martin Hunt and Landon Maddix vs Ryan Dustin and Johnny Dangerous (because it was a cool old school tag match and all)

 

As will always be, a mass write in vote for another match will result in a change.

[King Cucaracha 0]

MOTN? Wow, can't have been as bad as I thought.

 

And, yeah, the reason I forgot about Johnny's face was because it was a total rush-job towards the end trying to throw in near-falls and stuff.

[Dace59 0]

Wether you'll win Match of the Month or not is a VERY different matter Maddix.

[Guest Ghetto Bird]

Two guys in bird suits fight now match:

 

First time I've seen script style used with action notes on the speaking style as in a real script. Makes a chance, though it seems a little awarkd at times as it's noth something you're used to seeing.

This is something I'm still experimenting with; I wanted to do something with regards to my writing style to make it stand out from everybody else's. If it doesn't work, I'll try something else.

 

Little to much spacing here and there between the lines which draws things out to much, but that's just a minor formatting thing.

The reason I did that was because I wanted to try and make it clear when the dialogue ended and where the action began. Short of using italics or bold print or a different color, I couldn't figure out how else to do it without changing my dialogue style.

 

 

Not the easiest character to have your first match against, but Birdman does manage, even if it starts off feeling a little rookie-ish due to being a new character.

Do you mean "rookie-ish" as in the character being a rookie, or my writing technique? Because I was trying to put over the former, but if it turned out more like the latter, then I guess I have more work to do.

 

 

Not much of a match plan...

Would you explain, please?

 

... but the wrestling writing is soild and as good as any other new writer.

Thanks?

 

 

Using things of pacing and description need to be added and worked on. But it's a soild base and a character what will work against more serious opponents. Andother good first match that promeses imporvement and good things in the future.

I'll work on the pacing, but 3000 words is awfully short; I had a lot of ideas, and found myself taking big chunks out of my match in order to meet the word limit.

 

Thanks for the feed back, though.

 

- Bird