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Guest Agent of Oblivion

The Flu vs. Me

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Ohhhhhhhhh Fuck. My stomach is a cement mixer full of diarrhea and hurl, and the devil's dragging his violin bow across my spinal cord.

 

I never catch anything unless it's some virulent nationwide shit. Anyone else sick? I need someone to blame.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Your moped-car would expose you to more pathogens because it's so slow. I zip right through that shit.

 

No, this is from something far more sinister.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I was considering it being something I ate, because this shit just hit me all of a sudden.

 

I'm finding a lot of salad in my various ejecta. I always wash produce thoroughly, though.

 

Had nachos at work Friday evening, but that wouldn't be messing me up today, I don't think. I was kind of queasy last night, and barfy today.

 

I've also had a peanut butter and honey sandwich, and there's nothing there that's even perishable.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Of course there was, but it appeared and tasted fully cooked.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I've had food poisoning before, this isn't it.

 

I also get to work probably about 11 hours tonight. That should be the awesome-est.

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I've had food poisoning before, this isn't it.

 

I also get to work probably about 11 hours tonight. That should be the awesome-est.

What would be most awesome-ist would be throwing up on your co-workers.

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I was considering it being something I ate, because this shit just hit me all of a sudden.

I've been the same on and off for a couple of weeks and whatever it is just won't fuck off.

 

Only thing I can think of having food-wise that'd cause it was chicken and like you said, it seemed well cooked enough.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Fuck all this, I called in, which I hate doing because it means I'm a broke ass on payday. I'm pretty sure it is in fact NOT the flu, as it's wearing off as quick as it set in. I'm thinking this is probably from some doorknob at work that some filthy hillbilly grabbed after not washing his hands after shitting.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Nah, I'm pretty good about working. I like my job, and if I want a day off, I can get one. This was definitely due to illness. I'm much better now, which is making me think I was exposed to some vile digestive bacteria from someone else's filth on a commonly touched surface.

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You're right about getting the reduced paycheck due to being sick -- sucks big time.

 

One time I had some bad chinese food and had to go into a supermarket's employee bathroom to hurl. They didn't have a public bathroom but they knew if I didn't chuck in an employee's bathroom then I would have done it in front of the public.

 

I went into the men's room, said to the guy in there "Hi, I'm going to throw up in a few seconds" and went into the stall and did my business.

 

Aside from the nasty aftertaste, most of the time barfing makes me feel a lot better afterward...

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