The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted August 13, 2004 With college coming up, it's time to start doing what college kids do best. No, not getting wasted and contracting STDs. That comes later. I'm talking, of course, about hating my country. Europeans don't like us much. In fact, NOBODY likes us much anymore. Even the Canadians are poking fun at us. It's probably because, we, as Americans, say really ignorant things. Just boorish, uneducated, stupid things that just make you think, "what a dumb American." For good measure, to be a Dumb American if you're not already, head down to snopes.com and take every urban legend clearly marked as fale, AND BELIEVE IT TO BE TRUE IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS. Talking about how you saw the episode of Donahue when the CEO of Proctor & Gamble announced he was a Satanist always makes the winners stick out in a crowd. As always, I've got the concept in mind, "post ignorant crap you hear from well-meaning housewives and other middling folk." For starters: Dumb Americans on the Gregorian calendar: "Friday the 13th is a lucky day if you're not superstitious." Stupid 8th grade teacher: "You shouldn't do anything bad today, it's March 15th." Me: "So?" Teacher: "Well, you'll get caught doing whatever it is that you weren't supposed to do, 'beware the eyes of March' or something like that, I don't remember." Take it away, board Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted August 13, 2004 Dumb thread. Oh, and excuse me while I kiss this guy... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted August 13, 2004 I heard he really kissed a guy! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Kid 0 Report post Posted August 13, 2004 Even the Canadians are poking fun at us. ...We always hated you guys. It's not recent. Reading your post I was thinking "what a boorish, uneducated, dumb American". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Corey_Lazarus 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 That's okay. You're just mad at us because we didn't unleash Celine Dion and Bryan Adams onto the world. It's okay, we feel sorry for you, too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Kid 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 At least we didn't unleash Rosie Odonell and Carrot-Top to the world. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianChick 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 My friend went to Florida and had a conversation with this lady: "So, where are you from?" "British Columbia." "Where?" "It's a province in Canada." "Oh! That's in Europe, isn't it? Why don't you have an accent?" "..." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Golgo 13 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 It's Florida. Along with a lot of the south, it shouldn't count. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 At least we didn't unleash Rosie Odonell and Carrot-Top to the world. Need I remind you of Brian Adams? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Highland 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 We've already apologized for Brian Adams. Stupid American. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Use Your Illusion 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 Australia hates you, too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 ^very true Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A Happy Medium 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 "ides of march" by the way...it needed to be said. I'm American, I'm not stupid... but I do live in Texas, so I am a bit of an oxymoron... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted August 14, 2004 It's Florida. Along with a lot of the south, it shouldn't count. Depends on where in Florida. South Florida in particular, should have no affiliation with the United States whatsoever, with maybe the exception of the Keys. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 You read Dave Barry much? He proposed that as well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 You know what I don't get? Why are Americans supposed to care? Oh no this country hates us and that country hates us. Like it matters -- we have all the big toys anyway... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Edwin MacPhisto 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 Most of Florida isn't really the south. It's the northeast with sun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted August 14, 2004 You read Dave Barry much? He proposed that as well. Proposed what? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedHermit 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2004 It's the northeast's nursing home/psych center with sun. Clarified that up a little for you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Corey_Lazarus 0 Report post Posted August 15, 2004 Oh, wow, look! I'm Canadian! My country has given you maple syrup, ice hockey, and the Hart family and their students, and nothing else positive! You American's have BIG PENISES and are our superiors! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted August 15, 2004 We've already apologized for Brian Adams. Fine, then on behalf of everybody in America, I formally apologize for Rosie O'Donnell and Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson. Happy now? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZGangsta 0 Report post Posted August 15, 2004 Oh, wow, look! I'm Canadian! My country has given you maple syrup, ice hockey, and the Hart family and their students, and nothing else positive! You American's have BIG PENISES and are our superiors! Don't forget Men Without Hats. You guys loved the Sfety Dance. Admit it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedHermit 0 Report post Posted August 15, 2004 Oh, wow, look! I'm Canadian! My country has given you maple syrup, ice hockey, and the Hart family and their students, and nothing else positive! You American's have BIG PENISES and are our superiors! Don't forget Men Without Hats. You guys loved the Sfety Dance. Admit it For about 15 minutes, we did. But think of all the bad Canada has released: Celine Dion, Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morissette. Although, Long Island is sorry for Howard Stern (Roosevelt), Rosie O'Donnell (Commack - my mom graduated with her sister), and transvestite-loving Eddie Murphy (also Roosevelt). Someone in my town did invent the first video game though. (Bill Higginbotham developed it at Brookhaven Nat. Lab. using an oscilloscope to display it; he didn't patent it, however.) To sum up, America Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Temet Report post Posted August 15, 2004 Use Your Illusion and Nice Guy Adam speak the truth. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HungryJack Report post Posted August 15, 2004 Oh, wow, look! I'm Canadian! My country has given you maple syrup, ice hockey, and the Hart family and their students, and nothing else positive! You American's have BIG PENISES and are our superiors! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ? What the hell was that? you're joking, no? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted August 15, 2004 You read Dave Barry much? He proposed that as well. Proposed what? In Dave Barry Hits Below The Beltway, a book I recommend to all of you, he makes a compelling argument for kicking South Florida out of the Union. Reasons include CIA drug busts that result in cocaine rain, men who have no qualms about admitting "I am a Colombian drug lord" in public, and obviously, Election 2000. Oh yeah, and giant zucchini. (You'll get it when you read it) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Kid 0 Report post Posted August 15, 2004 Canadians invented velcro, basketball, electric light bulbs, film colourization, goalie masks, pacemaker, kerosene, odometer, plexiglass, railway car brakes, snowblowers, standard time, television, telephone, wireless radio and zippers. Plus so many more things, we're not useless. Ok...some of us are, but not most, unlike the states. Oh well, we burned down your white house once. That's enough. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Eyeball Kid Report post Posted August 15, 2004 The world would benefit from ridding itself of North America entirely. Australia, too! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted August 16, 2004 You forgot insulin. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Olympic Slam Report post Posted August 16, 2004 Canadians invented velcro, basketball, electric light bulbs, film colourization, goalie masks, pacemaker, kerosene, odometer, plexiglass, railway car brakes, snowblowers, standard time, television, telephone, wireless radio and zippers. Plus so many more things, we're not useless. Ok...some of us are, but not most, unlike the states. Oh well, we burned down your white house once. That's enough. Again, nobody cares. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
