Best Wrestling Quotes...

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

No man, I think Heyman pissed JR off on the real.

 

Paul Heyman is da man!

 

He should replace Cole, on the announcer booth for Smackdown, and Tazz should become a face announcer.

[alfdogg 0]

"A SMALL PENIS??????" - JR

 

"How does it feel knowing that it took your father 28 years to make Flair the biggest name in wrestling, and it only took you three years to ruin it?" - Steve Corino, to David Flair

 

"Is Andre really your dad, mang?" - Scott Hall, to the Giant

 

"Raven's my friend! He likes me! He just bought me a brand new rubber duckie." - Lodi

 

"Hanging from the rafters!...if there were rafters. The Roman Coliseum doesn't HAVE rafters, but I'll tell you what they DO have...they have columns, and they're hanging from the columns!" - Randy Savage, WM9

 

"You've got to eat over 1100 bowls of rice in an hour. With chopsticks. One stick." - Bobby Heenan, explaining how one becomes a sumo grand champion

 

"Fuck it!" - Mean Gene, Summerslam '89

[Internet Warfare 0]

"How does it feel knowing that it took your father 28 years to make Flair the biggest name in wrestling, and it only took you three years to ruin it?" - Steve Corino, to David Flair

When was this?

 

"I'm Bi a lot of things but Lingual isnt one of them"-HHH

[alfdogg 0]

I think it was at one of the Pillman Memorial shows.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

"If your planning on wearing that skirt, you better shave those boney legs of yours" - Bad News Brown to Rowdy Pipper.

[Guest Staravenger]

Pretty much anything D-X said when they did a parody of the Nation.

 

HHH - The Crock

Road Dogg - B-Lo

Mr Ass - The Gunnfather

X-Pac - Mizark Henry

Jason Sensation - Owen (I don't know if they gave him a funny name)

Chyna - Herself

 

The Crock: When it comes down to the Crock and the ladies, and the Crock hits....Rock Bottom, he has no choice but to lay the smackdown on himself!

 

B-Lo: You hear that? The brother smacks himself down!

 

"Owen": Enough is enough and its time change! So what, nobody listens to me! Nobody gives a damn what I think! And what the hell am I doing wearing this ridiculous outfit?! I look like a damn road sign! What am I? A school crossing!? I tried to be a tough guy, but I just couldn't grow my damn beard in!...and if anybody smells what the Rock is cooking, it's me. Look how big my damn nose is! What the hell am I?! An Ardkvark?! Wooo!

 

Mizark Henry: Hey hey hey Rock! I don't know what you're cookin'....smells like sh*t, but I think I'll have some anyway! (fatman chuckle)

 

"The Crock": Everyone knows you're the worlds strongest man, and the people wanna know how do you make your muscles go all the way around to your back like this?

[TheOriginalOrangeGoblin 0]

"There won't be no drama, there won't be no mystery - I'm gonna kick your ass! As far as 'save the drama for your momma,' the only drama is she don't know who your daddy is!"

 

LMAO! Second best thing I've ever heard outta Steiner. The best is ofcourse:

 

To DDP - "While you're on your back screaming in pain, Kim will be on hers screaming my name."

[Dewe 0]

Steiner to Flair:

 

“When you walk down that aisle last week, the people at home, all they did was grab their remote, change the channel to the WWF, and watch Stone Cold. A person you and your old friends got fired from here because you're a jealous old bastard.”

[Guest Staravenger]

Shows how dumb Steiner is. Austin was gone because of Hogan and his buddies. Flair I think was willing to put him over in 1994. Mick Foley though is a different story.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

Shows how dumb Steiner is. Austin was gone because of Hogan and his buddies. Flair I think was willing to put him over in 1994. Mick Foley though is a different story.

Flair was holding him down though in WCW, as far as I know

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

"Bret Hart is one of the most talented wrestlers of all time... but if he'd been screwed as many times as he claims he'd have struck oil by now." - Jim Cornette

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Shows how dumb Steiner is. Austin was gone because of Hogan and his buddies. Flair I think was willing to put him over in 1994. Mick Foley though is a different story.

Flair was holding him down though in WCW, as far as I know

The plan before Hogan came in was for Flair and Austin to have a series of World Title matches. The Hogan signing and Flair's hastily made heel turn nixed that.

[JHawk 0]

Austin: "Bret Hart, you've been out here talking about how 'this guy screwed me' and 'that guy screwed me'. Well, I ain't bringing a condom to the ring, son! I'm bringing a can of whoop ass!"

 

 

Cornette (12/29/97): "Wrestling fans watching a wrestling program want to see wrestlers wrestle!"

[Guest Staravenger]

The Rock: There is only one true superstar of the decade, true superstar of the millennium, you know who that is? The Rock will tell you who that is, Toronto that is the jabroni beatin', pie eatin', trail blazin', eyebrow raisin', stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, the biggest thing to hit Canada 'cause the Maple leafs suck! (Promo night after NWO 2003)

[JHawk 0]

Ric Flair about Baby Doll: "She can his clothes, she can wear her clothes, she can wear Haystacks Calhoun's clothes, and she has the gall to call herself a beautiful woman."

[Guest Mindless_Aggression]

One of my favorite JR quotes is from the Wrestlemania match between HHH and Booker T. When Booker is on the top, Flair grabs his ankle to try to pull him down. The crowd is dead silent and JR is speaking at a whisper and then suddenly..."FLAIR HAS NO BUSINESS OUT HERE DAMMIT!" It seriously sounded like someone forgot to plug JR in till halfway through the match.

 

Dusty Rhodes' absolutely insane rant against Bobby Heenan on Saturday Night is classic. Not word for word but here ya go: Bobby Heenan, I ain't be trustin you, cause you is a snake in da grass managah, and when I turn mah head, you probably, probably hit me in da head wit a pop can! ON DA MOTHA SHEEIP. But that's okay because I will win an ace award for Cable on THIS MOTHA SHEEIP...Thank You"

 

Bobby Heenan's reaction of complete confusion is just awesome.

[CanadianChick 0]

Around Christmas time in 2001, when Jericho was the Undisputed Champion:

 

Jericho (giving Lance a present):"And Lance...happy Hanukkah, that's for you."

Lance: "I'm not Jewish..."

Jericho (completely ignoring him): "Yeah I knew you'd like it."

[Guest ally mccoist]

From an old ECW show, Mike Awesome hits a plancha to the outside...

 

Joey Styles: Most 6 ft 6" 300 pound wrestlers don't even leave their feet anymore BROTHER

[BHK 0]

One of my favorite JR quotes is from the Wrestlemania match between HHH and Booker T. When Booker is on the top, Flair grabs his ankle to try to pull him down. The crowd is dead silent and JR is speaking at a whisper and then suddenly..."FLAIR HAS NO BUSINESS OUT HERE DAMMIT!" It seriously sounded like someone forgot to plug JR in till halfway through the match.

 

Dusty Rhodes' absolutely insane rant against Bobby Heenan on Saturday Night is classic. Not word for word but here ya go: Bobby Heenan, I ain't be trustin you, cause you is a snake in da grass managah, and when I turn mah head, you probably, probably hit me in da head wit a pop can! ON DA MOTHA SHEEIP. But that's okay because I will win an ace award for Cable on THIS MOTHA SHEEIP...Thank You"

 

Bobby Heenan's reaction of complete confusion is just awesome.

[Guest The Decadent Slacker]

Almost anything Heenan said throughout the Royal Rumble '92 show. Too many things just stick out.

 

"I've hung & I've bung." Hogan in an interview i can't remember, using the past tense of "hangin' & bangin'"

 

"Jason Sensation, I oughtta come out there & smack the piss out of you."-Owen Hart

 

"SUNNY! Mmmmmm."-Duke Drose when asked what he wants for Christmas(?), on an episode of Action Zone in '95.

 

Austin: "You don't have the balls to fire Steve Austin!"

Vince: "Oh I've got the balls! I've got balls as big as grapefruits! VINCE MCMAHON IS GONNA FIRE YOUR ASS THIS SUNDAY!"

[JoeDirt 0]

The Rock: "Chris Jericho, you come to the WWF and you think you're a big star...why? Because you spent your time down south beating some jabronie named JUVENTUD?"

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

"That would be like if my parents named me Jew" - Heyman talking about how Christian's parents didn't love him and gave him a poor name.

 

""In just a few moments, at my leisure, I will call Vince McMahon out on HIS ring, in front of HIS public, on a television show that is owned by HIS grand company....At least that is...until this Sunday at Survivor Series.

 

I know how much you appreciate what Shane, Stephanie and I have done, how Shane Stephanie and I have stood up to the tyranny of Vince McMahon and how this Sunday, the WWF will die.

 

But don't blame me for that...it's not my fault. I am not the one who lifts up my leg...and pees all over the memory of Bruno Sammartino. I am not the one who desecrated the memory of Superstar Billy Graham. And I am not the one who ruined everything that was accomplished by Stone Cold Steve Austin.

 

(The crowd was not taking this well, as the crowd was booing, and A**hole chants were breaking out throughout the promo)

 

You see, at Survivor Series, it means so much more than the personalities that are involved, it's about ending what Vince McMahon has tried to accomplish. I sat there at that desk on Monday and I listened to Mick Foley and I agreed with everything that Mick Foley had to say! That the WWF truly does suck!

 

(Crowd boos)

 

Don't boo me....have you watched the TV show lately? Vince Mcmahon has lost his mind. The man does not have it anymore. He is a has-been, his ideas are (outdated), his concepts are draconian, and Mick Foley was right... because the WWF is imploding from within.

 

Like every great empire the WWF is imploding from within. Vince's loyal employees, like Stone Cold and Mick Foley who want nothing to do with him, like his Children who want him to burn in hell...and I don't blame them.

 

Vince McMahon will see the WWF die this Sunday at Survivor Series, and he has no hope to save his precious company. Vince has the same chances of saving the WWF as he did of realizing his dream of starting his own football league.

 

(At this time, Vince McMahon came out. He walked to the ring with a steeled look on his face. Paul Heyman was on his knees bowing as he walked down the ramp. When Vince got in the ring, he just stood there and continued to listed to Paul.)

 

Heyman continued.

 

I want you to know, that I was down on my knees, as I know you are used to men kissing your ass Vinny. Every time you walk in the back....There is Patterson and Brisco saying, "What a great idea Vince!" (Making kissing sounds at Vince's backside).

 

You like men kissing your ass, don't you Vince. Because that's what you are all about...A Billionaire! The Billionaire, Vince McMahon, the Creator of Sports Entertainment. (Gets up in his face). I have waited SO long to say this to your face....I hate your stinking guts Vince.

 

But it's not just me Vince. It's your children that hate your stinking guts, and at Survivor Series your children are going to do to you, what I have waited so long to see somebody do to you Vince. You are...so help me god....the most vile, disgusting, son of a bitch that I have ever seen in my life.

 

(Vince winces, and the crowd boos louder)

 

You took Hulk Hogan's blood, and you built Titan Towers. You stole Bret Hart's dream, and with that money you built yourself an airplane and put the WWF all over it. You did that, and you KNOW it you son of a bitch!

 

You stole Shawn Michaels smile, took your company public, and made yourself a billionaire. But not a self made billionaire like you like to tell everyone...Oh NO. You made yourself a billionaire through other peoples hard work. Your Father, Vince McMahon went around the country shaking every promoters hand saying, "I will never compete with you." And when your father died...you competed. And with your ruthless, merciless, take no prisoners attitude, you drove everybody out of business...didn't you Vince?

 

You ran all the competition into the ground, and you stole all their ideas...and you made yourself a billionaire out of it. And you know who's ideas you stole the most Vince? you stole MINE!!

 

See I don't give a damn about Don Owen, and Sam Mushnick, and Jim Crockett. I just care about what you did to me and my family. How you stole my dreams and my legacy, and you stole everything that ECW represented. Because while Doink the Clown had green hair and a rubber nose.....Stone Cold Steve Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW DAMN YOU."

 

While Bobby Heenen and Gene Okerland were dancing around and signing "Tutti Fruity", ECW was producing the edgy TV that you named "Attitude". What you got is my ideas, and you stole MY life, MY money, and MY LEGACY!!

 

(Heyman takes off his hat and screams.)

 

SCREW YOU!! SCREW YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!! And I will tell you something...you own children hate your guts and on Sunday, they will get even with you for everything that you stole from me...for everything that you stole from them.

 

You flaunt your affairs in front of your wife, you flaunt your affairs in Playboy for your children to read...You BASTARD!

 

Look at TAZZ! (pointing to Tazz at the booth). This man was a killer!! He was a machine. He was a "Wrestler"....a real man. But wrestling is a dirty word to you, isn't it Vince? you father built a wrestling company, and you...you had to have "Sports Entertainment"

 

(Still pointing to Tazz). He was a wrestler. He was a great wrestler..he was a MAN. And now, he is a fat, little, obnoxious color commentator. And not even a GOOD one. He is a "Sports entertainer" He is not a wrestler, because you made wrestling a dirty word. What kind of a man are you"?

 

(At this point, Tazz removes his headset and heads into the ring to a big pop.)

 

"What kind of a man takes wrestling, and makes it Sports Entertainment? At Survivor Series, you're going down. You're going down Vince, and I'm going to watch it...and your children are going to stand over your grave Vince...and we are going to laugh. And there is not a damn thing you can do about it.....I'm feeling good about this...."

 

(Tazz has heard enough, and puts the Tazzmission on Heyman, choking him out. Vince grabs the Microphone)

 

-- The Paul Heyman promo prior to Survivor Series 2001.

[Guest Mindless_Aggression]

I remember that Heyman promo. Just intense as it's gonna get promo wise.

 

If anyone has that rant on JR when ECW returned that night on Raw, please do share.

[JHawk 0]

[During a Tito Santana match]

Gorilla Monsoon: "El Pase del Muerte!"

Bobby Heenan: "El Passo de Pace Picante? What are you talking about?"

[Guest Staravenger]

Edited post about a 4 paragraph rant on Joey Styles.

[Jericholic82 0]

"Big Show is too big!"

"Well what am I supposed to do about it?"

"Hey, I've read the Ross Report."

 

Also, any time that Heyman pissed off JR so bad he practically had an epileptic seizure, and Heyman just looked right into the camera and deadpanned the lead-in to the next segment.

That was summerslam 01 after angle won against austin by dq from wcw ref nick patrick Jr went on a rant about how Austin cant beat angle then..

 

 

 

Heyman (looks into camera) yknow this saturday night the wwf has a brand new show debuting called Excess

[Jericholic82 0]

JR to Heyman at wm17 after they announced the huge crowd number

 

"This must be different for you Paul"

 

 

also

 

Heyman: Imagine a man announcing a wrestlemania, wearing a hat

 

 

 

before the gimmick battle royal

 

"JR:Its too bad youre not in this match, I would have liked to see you in tights for some perverse reason" (no lie check the tape)

 

 

same night

 

Heenan: By the time the Iron Shiek gets to the ring itll be wrestlemania 38

 

Heenan This man (Repo Man ) is nuts, last week he stole his own car

Gene: He got my mother once

Heenan: Everyone got your mother (or somethin like that)

 

Heenan: Did you know he (Nikolai Volkoff) was the first Russian Cosmonaut?

 

 

 

 

the austin angle hug battle over vinny mac

 

Austin: Youre a jackass

Angle: No Im a hero

Austin: Youre a jackass

Angle hero

austin: jackass

angle: hero!!!

austin: jackass!!!

angle: hero!!!!

Vince DAMMIT STOP THIS

 

 

Austin: Ok Booker T let me AX you a question

 

 

or when angle put on the childs cowboy hat

I feel like a real cowboy yippy kay yea

 

Angle: I thought we needed some badges to go with the hats

Austin: we dont need no stinkin badges

 

 

angle to booker t: Yippy kay yea mother-hubbard

[Jericholic82 0]

theres more

 

 

Edge to Billy Gunn: Billy youre like a human vacuum cleaner, managing to both suck and blow at the same time

 

 

 

 

Edges birthday party

 

Edge: Kurt dont worry about it its real simple, you go out and take care of Triple H, kick the snot out of his never-ending nose, and then afterwards, well all have cake!!!

Christian: Yea Kurt, milk rocks the body that rocks the party

[Guest Staravenger]

Heenan: (after the Repo thing) about 40 years ago everybody got your mother-in-law.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Scott Hall: "Yo... it's the Dudley's right? I can't wait to kick out of your finisher, mang."