deancoles 0 Report post Posted September 22, 2004 A few weeks ago on WCW Classics “I bet Rhodes is wishing he was at home roping goats.” (Stunned Silence) “What are you looking at me like that for Schiavone? Cowboys from Texas are known as ‘goat-ropers’” “What’s a matter Tony? (begins laughing himself) Have you never roped a goat? Talk to Dustin Rhodes, he’ll tell you how it’s done” (You can hear both Schiavone and Ventura chuckling in the background) “Hello….hello….. somebody get me an announcer who isn’t laughing out here!” Surprised this hasn't been quoted in full yet With the deepest regrets, and tears that are soaked I'm sorry to hear that your dad finally croaked He lived a full life on his own terms Soon he'll be buried and eaten by worms But if I could have a son as stupid as you I'd have wished for cancer so I would die too So be brave, and be strong, get your life on track Cause the old bastard's DEAD and he ain't never comin' back. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted September 22, 2004 From Royal Rumble '96 Henry Godwinn does his hog call, and Perfect says "I just seen three girls in the front row move in." Even funnier from that Rumble, if you look in the bottom left corner as Barry Horowitz is running out once they go back to the wide shot, you can see two guys dressed like Diesel and Undertaker waving their arms to his music. Me and my brother were rewinding it and cracking up for a good 15 minutes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest BDC Report post Posted September 22, 2004 Disco to the Giant. "You're smoking?! Don't you know those things stunt your growth?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 23, 2004 Proof that Vince McMahon was a broadcasting god back in the day: Baron Mikel Scicluna is stomping SD Jones' arm (MSG 9/24/79): "The Baron is trying to blend his arm in with the mat!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted September 23, 2004 Even funnier from that Rumble, if you look in the bottom left corner as Barry Horowitz is running out once they go back to the wide shot, you can see two guys dressed like Diesel and Undertaker waving their arms to his music. Me and my brother were rewinding it and cracking up for a good 15 minutes. I just watched that to see what you were talking about, and got a good laugh out of it. And of course Vince says "Barry Horowitz could very well win this!" Can someone PLEEEEEEEEASE post the full text of Jake Roberts' interview on the Heroes of Wrestling PPV? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Justin Competent Report post Posted September 23, 2004 On Velocity, after they showed Heidenreich beating up Josh Matthews, Michael Cole surprised me with this jem. "I bet we could be seeing Heidenreich on Velocity very soon." Larry Zbysko in the old AWA had a decent one, when confronted about using nunchucks in wrestling matches. "Nunchucks are not weapons, just the same as guns are not weapons. The human body is a weapon, so if I get disqualified for anything, it would be for outwrestling my opponent." Bobby Heenan at the Hall of Fame ceramony, when Pete Rose was brought up. "I have to come clean, I bet on wrestling." Bobby Heenan again, at the '92 Royal Rumble, Piper saves Flair from an attack from Jake the Snake. "Piper, you're a good man. It's not a skirt, it's a kilt." Piper attacks Flair. "Whaddya doing you skirt-wearing freak?!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest curry_man2002 Report post Posted September 24, 2004 triple H to bischoff "i want ortons ass TONIGHT" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest curry_man2002 Report post Posted September 24, 2004 Jerry the king lawler "thats my favourite tag team in the wwe right there stacy keiblers left leg and her right leg" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted September 24, 2004 Bret Hart: I hope the people watching in five or ten years look into the ring and say 'hey, those guys are good, but they're no Bret Hart". paraphrased, but still an awesome quote. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DCMaximo 0 Report post Posted September 24, 2004 Here you go JoeDirt, quoted from Wrestlecrap.com Jake Roberts (who obviously showed up early at the casino to cash in on those free drinks. The interview begins with him slurring his words so badly you can't even make out what he says, so this is continued in progress): "In a cashino, you should gamblllle. Let me tell you something, Anvil, you don't want to play cards with me, because I'll cheat. Ok, I cheat. You want to play 21, I got 22. You want to play black jack? I got two of those too. (RD: HUH?) You want to play aces and eights? Well, I got some of those too. Bottom line is this. You do not gamble with me....*more slurring*...when you walk into a casino, when you want to gamble, the main thing you must do, is this, you must accept losing. I don't accept losing, and neither doesh Damien. Damien, my friend! My friend Damien is right here. *mumbles incoherently* You don't want to see this, do you? Let me show you something. I tell you what Anvil, go ahead and roll the dice. Mr. Cameraman, get your ass back up here. *getting angry* HELL-OOOO, I'm talkin' to you. Get that camera back up here. Thatsh what you should worry about Anvil. The bottom line is this, when the DDT comes, then the snake comes out. Worry about the DDT. DDT, DDT, DDT (begins yelling) DDT! DDT! DDT! *finally one of the 500 or so people in the audience chants along* THINK ABOUT IT!" Announcer: "A man of his word, Jake "The Snake" Roberts." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jericholic82 0 Report post Posted September 24, 2004 well I was watching WrestleMania 11 recently and I found that The King was indeed once very funny. "Football is a game where eleven men spend a lot of hours trying to move a small object a hundred yards. It's just like the post office" "Now your tuxedo finally looks good"-King to Vince as the lights go out for Taker's entrance "Those guys have the perfect face for radio"-King about the German announce team (yes they was one at this WM) "I'm not prejudiced,Mcmahon like that man right there (Bret Hart), I hate everybody equally" "His dad wrestled so long ago, you know what? I broke into a pyramid not long ago and on the wall was a picture of Stu Hart with a headlock on King Tut" "I knew that woudn't last, when I saw the figures on top of their wedding cake; they were lawyers"- King discussing Pamela Anderson's marriage to Tommy Lee and one more where even Vince gets in a good line, as Jonathan Taylor Thomas makes his way down to the ring as a special guest timekeeper for the HBK/Diesel match "King: Exactly how old is young Jonathan? Vince: How old is he? King: Yea Vince: I believe he's 13, why? King: Well that tuxedo makes him look about ten years sillier. Vince: Oh really? At least he doesn't have a crown on, give me a break" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted September 24, 2004 Here you go JoeDirt, quoted from Wrestlecrap.com Jake Roberts (who obviously showed up early at the casino to cash in on those free drinks. The interview begins with him slurring his words so badly you can't even make out what he says, so this is continued in progress): "In a cashino, you should gamblllle. Let me tell you something, Anvil, you don't want to play cards with me, because I'll cheat. Ok, I cheat. You want to play 21, I got 22. You want to play black jack? I got two of those too. (RD: HUH?) You want to play aces and eights? Well, I got some of those too. Bottom line is this. You do not gamble with me....*more slurring*...when you walk into a casino, when you want to gamble, the main thing you must do, is this, you must accept losing. I don't accept losing, and neither doesh Damien. Damien, my friend! My friend Damien is right here. *mumbles incoherently* You don't want to see this, do you? Let me show you something. I tell you what Anvil, go ahead and roll the dice. Mr. Cameraman, get your ass back up here. *getting angry* HELL-OOOO, I'm talkin' to you. Get that camera back up here. Thatsh what you should worry about Anvil. The bottom line is this, when the DDT comes, then the snake comes out. Worry about the DDT. DDT, DDT, DDT (begins yelling) DDT! DDT! DDT! *finally one of the 500 or so people in the audience chants along* THINK ABOUT IT!" Announcer: "A man of his word, Jake "The Snake" Roberts." Thank you!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 25, 2004 Lawler to Bret Hart, prior to one of the Diesel-Hart matches (I want to say Rumble 95): "Do you remember the King of the Ring, or do you have so much grease in your hair that it slipped your mind?" Johnny V to Gene Okerlund: "You're either blind or a liar, and I know you're not blind!" Gorilla Monsoon: "That should be an automatic disqualification in my book." Johnny V: "Yeah, but your book's only about three pages long." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted September 25, 2004 (from a Nitro) Sting: For all the fans out there that are wondering what the future holds for Sting...well, the only thing that's for sure about Sting...is that nothing is for sure. (grabs baseball bat) It's Showtime, Folks! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted October 3, 2004 No Mercy 2001, following the lingerie match. Heyman: "Can they kiss and make up now?" JR: "I doubt that, Paul." Heyman: "Please?" JR: "In your dreams." Heyman: "Actually, JR, that's a very accurate statement." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Open the Muggy Gate 0 Report post Posted October 4, 2004 Pick anything Sid Vicious said... And of course, the original first time Jericho called Stephanie a filthy, dirty, foul, etc. I can't say it all... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted October 4, 2004 (Before the 11/88 SNME from Sacramento, CA) McMahon: Hello everyone and welcome to Saturday Night's Main . . . Ventura: WAIT A MINUTE McMahon, we're in California now and I get top billing around here. McMahon: Go ahead. Ventura: Welcome everyone to Saturday Night's Main Event. I'm Jesse The Body Ventura and this is Vince Whatshisname. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Staravenger Report post Posted October 5, 2004 Ventura: Welcome everyone to Saturday Night's Main Event. I'm Jesse The Body Ventura and this is Vince Whatshisname. In the immortal words of Dusty Rhodes, "I love it!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianChris 0 Report post Posted October 5, 2004 Pick anything Sid Vicious said... And of course, the original first time Jericho called Stephanie a filthy, dirty, foul, etc. I can't say it all... Second time around was better: "Welcome to RAW IS JERICHO! And it seems that Y2J is in hot water yet again. Last week, I was punished for calling Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley a bargain-basement slut...and I also called her the filthiest, dirtiest, most disgustingly skankiest, brutal, bottom-feeding trashbag ho I had ever...EEEVER...seen in my life! So I came out here to apologize...I came to apologize to all of the bargain-basement sluts, and to all of the dirty, disgusting, filthy, skanky, brutal, bottom-feeding trashbag hos. I apologize for even comparing you with the miserable slimeball pig that is Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley! So I apologize for offending anybody, with the exception of Stephie baby!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted October 5, 2004 This is actually a fantasy quote as it never happened but thought it would be a golden nugget indeed if it did. I'm sure many of you are familiar w/ The Main Event 2/88 and Hogan FINALLY being dethroned. Anywhoo, Hogan cuts an infamous whiny promo about how much the plastic surgery the twin referees had cost and all that jazz. W/ Hogan in near tears, I'd have marked the hell out if Mean Gene would have muttered . . . "Well, easy come easy go. Vince, over to you." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Decadent Slacker Report post Posted October 5, 2004 Vince after being aquitted in the steroid trials: "This goes to show that just like in wrestling, the good guys always win in the end." Kinda stretching the spectrum, but i find this quote just funny on a few levels. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheLastBoyscout Report post Posted October 5, 2004 "Well, easy come easy go. Vince, over to you." Huh? Yeah... Damn Hulk Hogan... why did you have to... draw all that money? Why can't you be like Bret who didn't have that problem? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted October 5, 2004 "Well, easy come easy go. Vince, over to you." Huh? Yeah... Damn Hulk Hogan... why did you have to... draw all that money? Why can't you be like Bret who didn't have that problem? It just would have been funny since Hogan was in near tears screaming out "WHY?!? THEY LOOKED IDENTICAL!!!! HOW MUCH DID THE PLASTIC SURGERY COST!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!" . . . then Gene, cool as a cucumber, could have wrapped up the segment w/ that line and thrown it to Vince. Would it haev made sense from a kayfabe standpoint? Of course not. Would it have been funny as hell? No doubt. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Open the Muggy Gate 0 Report post Posted October 5, 2004 Does anyone have a transcript of the Rock and Jericho's spiel against Booker T, Rhyno, and Steph back in 2001? That was just a fucking awesome segment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted October 5, 2004 "THAT WAS THREE, YOU ASSHOLE!" Bobby Heenan, from ringside, to the referee after Andre fell on Hogan for a near three-count at WM3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted October 7, 2004 "I don't care if you've got a Z on the side of your head or not, that's not legal." - Gorilla Monsoon, Survivor Series '89 "Rocky Maivia's speech at the Slammys was so boring that even Christopher Reeve got up and walked out." - Jerry Lawler, WrestleMania XIII Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Evolution Report post Posted October 9, 2004 "Best president since Noriega." -- Bobby Heenan on WWF President Jack Tunney, Royal Rumble 1992. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 From the 1/89 SNME: Okerlund: Honky Tonk Man, tonight you have a chance to regain the IC Championship. Does your strategy change now that you're the challenger? Honky Tonk: No Gene. I am going to go out there and continue being The Greatest Intercontinental . . . Okerlund: (mocking Honky) Greatest Intercontinental . . . Honky: Heavyweight Champion! Okerlund: Heavyweight, that's for sure. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Evolution Report post Posted October 9, 2004 Mean Gene: "Alright, over the last couple of months, it has been very difficult to introduce this man with the words World Wrestling Federation Champion, Hulk Hogan, here at WrestleMania IV this afternoon, you've got the opportunity to change that." Hogan: "Oh yeah, it's been hard to live with, man! FEE FI FO FUM, Andre! One long year, and your time has come, man! No marks, no scars, no blemishes on the Hulkster, brother! But inside man, I've been scarred for one long year! Everywhere I go man, all the little Hulksters ask me, 'Is there any truth to the fact that there was a controversial count? Hulkster, did you really press him over your head? Did you REALLY beat the Giant? Well today man, in WrestleMania IV, we're gonna wipe all that controversy out! Andre the Giant, in the second round, when you're fresh as a daisy, with the whole world watching, I'm gonna PROVE, brother, that I can beat ya, anywhere, anytime! And all my Hulkamaniacs, they're gonna FEEL it, too! Gene: "Speaking of the Hulkamaniacs, Hulk Hogan, we have seen them here in Atlantic City, and I know millions of others are watching very intently all around the world!" Hulk: "Yeah! But if you look into their eyes, man, have you seen the FEAR in all those little Hulksters? They realize, that when I get Andre the Giant cinched up in the launch position, when I slam him through the Trump Plaza, brother, from New York, down to Tampa, Florida, the fault line is gonna break off! And as Andre the Giant FALLS INTO THE OCEAN, as my next two opponents, fall into the ocean floor and I pin 'em, SO WILL DONALD TRUMP, and ALL the Hulkamaniacs! But as Donald Trump hangs on to the top of the Trump Plaza, with his family in his other arm, as they sink to the bottom of the sea, THANK GOD DONALD TRUMP'S A HULKAMANIAC! He'll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang on to the wife and kids, dog paddle with his life, all the way to safety! But Donald...if something happens and you run out of gas, and all those Hulkamaniacs run out of gas...JUST HANG ON, to the largest back in the world, and I'll DOG PADDLE us, BACKSTROKE ALL OF US TO SAFETY!" That's pretty good, and his WM V promo before the Megapowers Explode is a little bit more sane, but that's not saying much. If anyone can post that promo from WM V, it'd be much appreciated, because I was doubled over with laughter listening to it when I rented the tape from the video store a few weeks ago. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 Not really a "quote", per se, but at the first Royal Rumble after all the guys had come in, Vince said that JYD would win because he was the last guy. Then about a minute after he says it, Ron Bass walks over and just casually flips him over the top and out. Vince just sits and says "Look at...I can't believe that." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
