PROMO: 'What have I gotten myself into?'

[Ace309 0]

Tom Flesher sits in his hotel room with a bowl of tortilla chips in front of him. He munches them absentmindedly, occasionally dipping one offscreen and coming up with sour cream or salsa on the chip before popping it into his mouth. After a few seconds, he hears a rap at the door.

 

KNOCK KNOCK

 

“Yeah?” he shouts.

 

“Just me,” comes the feminine voice.

 

Immediately, Flesher gets up and opens the door, allowing Allison Onita into the room.

 

“Hey babe,” he says, planting a kiss on her forehead as he leads her into the room. “I’m just carb-loading for the match against Candace.”

 

“Hey, can I help?”

 

Flesher sits down, and the camera pulls back to show the SWF Cruiserweight Championship on the coffee table, spread out in front of the bowl of tortilla chips. The main plate is slathered with salsa, and sour cream is smeared across the adjacent side plates.

 

“Oooh, guacamole,” murmurs Allison as she dips onto the fifth, “Property of the SWF” plate.

 

Flesher sighs and sits back, sipping a mug of beer as Allison makes herself comfortable. “Allison, I’m concerned about this match.”

 

“Why, baby?”

 

“No reason, really. It’s just that Candace is an untested quantity in the SWF. She’s only lost one match, and that was to Jay Dawg. Lord knows that there’s no shame in losing to Jay Dawg.”

 

“Yeah, there was the time you showed up drunk and…”

 

“I thought we agreed not to talk about that.”

 

“Oh, right, right.”

 

Flesher shakes his head sadly. “I’m starting to wonder if I really should have put my belt on the line against her. She’s been getting all kinds of TV time… and you know as well as I do what that means.”

 

Allison nods. “Quantity implies quality.”

 

“Indeed,” Flesher says. “I mean, look at people like Ash Ketchum. He was so talented that they gave him promo time on every show. Sometimes three or four times. If he wasn’t talented, they wouldn’t have totally and utterly overexposed him like that.”

 

“And Candace is even worse than Ash on the stick,” Allison says, her voice colored with concern. “She’s got to have SOME redeeming quality for them to throw her at the audience week after week.”

 

“I just don’t know what to do,” Flesher sighs. “I’m going to have to neutralize her somehow, but…”

 

Allison slides to her knees behind Flesher and starts gently massaging his neck and shoulders, whispering "You could always stretch her."

 

“I know, but she’s got that Asian Death Lock thing,” Flesher says. “I’m not worried about the sleeper as much, but…”

 

“Relax, Taamo,” coos Allison. “You know more than you’re letting on about getting the better of women…”

 

[Fade …]

 

I've been really tryin , baby

Tryin to hold back these feelings for so long

And if you feel, like I feel baby

Come on, oh come on

 

Let's get it on

Lets get it on

Let's get it on

Let's get it on

 

We're all sensitive people

With so much love to give, understand me sugar

Since we got to be

Lets say, I love you

 

There's nothin wrong with me

Lovin you

And givin yourself to me can never be wrong

If the love is true

 

Don't you know how sweet and wonderful, life can be

I'm askin you baby, to get it on with me

I aint gonna worry, I aint gonna push

So come on, come on, come on, come on baby

Stop beatin round the bush

 

Let's get it on

Let's get it on

Let's get it on

Let's get it on

 

[and fade back in…]

 

Flesher sits up, bringing a cigarette to his lips. Allison lays under the blanket, her eyes closed and her mouth curved into a contented smile.

 

“Damn it, Allie,” Flesher says as he puffs on his cigarette. “I can’t do that to her.”

 

~fin~

[Hank Kingsley 0]

So awesome.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Say the last line in the Sean Connery voice, and it's perfect.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

Lol... Funny enough for my time of reading.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

... Flesher sits down, and the camera pulls back to show the SWF Cruiserweight Championship on the coffee table, spread out in front of the bowl of tortilla chips. The main plate is slathered with salsa, and sour cream is smeared across the adjacent side plates.

 

“Oooh, guacamole,” murmurs Allison as she dips onto the fifth, “Property of the SWF” plate...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This. Means. WAR!

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

You are such a whore. A very funny whore.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Pure gold.

[Dace59 0]

That's just brilliant Tom. Completely brilliant.

[Toxxic 0]

Lovin' it Lovin' it Lovin' it.

[The Ill One 0]

You're such a dick. Keep it up man.

[Ace309 0]

Say the last line in the Sean Connery voice, and it's perfect.

Apparently you picked up on the fact that I used the Penis Mightier in the deleted scene. Bravo!

[AnnieEclectic 0]

Seeing my sister like that... it's a damn shame. Damn shame.

 

 

-Annie

[Guest Evolution]

DESECRATION OF THE TITLE

 

WITH TORTILLA CHIPS

 

...

 

I love it.

 

Maybe Bo can slide into this storyline and impregnate Allison, simultaneously getting himself into a nine-month feud with Flesher over the SWF Salsaweight Title.