Raw 9/6/04

[Guest Quik]

"The cow says...MOO! What does the cow say, Lita?"

"Muh?"

"No, it says moo. Can you say moo?"

"Meh?"

"No, Lita, moo!"

And we have a new running gag. Lovely.

[Steviekick 0]

NEXT WEEK ON RAW:  Lita and Nidia will be found in the back with a Hooked on Phonics starter kid.

Starter Kid: "Repeat after me: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain."

Lita: "Teh rain in Shpain fallsh mainly on the suffle."

*Starter Kid sighs*

Kane: "FIX HER! FIX MY WOMAN!"

They then do a genetic test and find out that Lita is related to the Hardy's, thus explaining why she shares the same genetic speech impedement that Jeff has. Matt has a good laugh about it, they buy Kane some cargo pants, Jeff builds something out of aluminum foil, and they all go back to NC and become one big happy family.

I can just imagine Matt, Lita, the baby, Kane, Jeff Hardy and one of Jeff's "Alumininummies" going into Old Navy.

A little baby with a Kane mask: "Uncle Matt, what's performance fleece?"

 

::Matt looks at his nephew with utter shock::

 

Jeff: You don't know?

 

::The five of them and the Old Navy employees go on a song and dance routine for a few minutes that abruptly ends when they see Randy Orton buying khakis and solid colored polo shirts::

 

Randy: Plain clothing is the sensible way to dress.

[The Czech Republic 0]

NEXT WEEK ON RAW:  Lita and Nidia will be found in the back with a Hooked on Phonics starter kid.

Starter Kid: "Repeat after me: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain."

Lita: "Teh rain in Shpain fallsh mainly on the suffle."

*Starter Kid sighs*

Kane: "FIX HER! FIX MY WOMAN!"

They then do a genetic test and find out that Lita is related to the Hardy's, thus explaining why she shares the same genetic speech impedement that Jeff has. Matt has a good laugh about it, they buy Kane some cargo pants, Jeff builds something out of aluminum foil, and they all go back to NC and become one big happy family.

I can just imagine Matt, Lita, the baby, Kane, Jeff Hardy and one of Jeff's "Alumininummies" going into Old Navy.

Only if they're all strung out on heroin, and then go next door to do their food and clothes shopping at Target.

"Jeff, get down offa that there cart!"

"Mommy I want foil! FOIL, mommy!"

"I'm not your mommy, I'm your aunt or sister or something."

"Whatever you are, I sure did give you a black eye."

"Shut up, Kane! You don't know me! You don't know me!"

[Guest Evolution]

Why is the ramp gone?

When the ramp is missing, something is usually driving into the arena and down the aisle or something similar.

[jester 0]

Hey gang, I just tuned in time to see Orton stuttering like an idiot. Did I miss anything else?

[Steviekick 0]

So wait, Nidia speaks spanish....is announced form being from Puerto Rico.....yet, they stick her with some good ol' fashioned trailer park trash rock.  Smaaaaart

So Puerto Ricans can only listen to salsa? (or something like that) >_>

 

Man, talk about stereotypes

She could have her song be off the new Terror Squad album...7

I'm Puerto Rican, idiot. You ever hear Triple H come down the ramp to Snoop Dogg, or the Rock come down the ramp to guns and roses? Theme music should fit the character.

Sorry if I offended you. I just see her with the whole thug princess look.

[razazteca 0]

It isn't good for WWE when I want to watch Road Rules over this cage match.

 

The gimmick is SOOO over done.

Would you prefer Coach interviewing the Diva Search women while they call each other SLUT, CUM STAIN, ANAL WART, DINGLE BERRY?

[Guest Quik]

NEXT WEEK ON RAW:  Lita and Nidia will be found in the back with a Hooked on Phonics starter kid.

Starter Kid: "Repeat after me: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain."

Lita: "Teh rain in Shpain fallsh mainly on the suffle."

*Starter Kid sighs*

Kane: "FIX HER! FIX MY WOMAN!"

They then do a genetic test and find out that Lita is related to the Hardy's, thus explaining why she shares the same genetic speech impedement that Jeff has. Matt has a good laugh about it, they buy Kane some cargo pants, Jeff builds something out of aluminum foil, and they all go back to NC and become one big happy family.

I can just imagine Matt, Lita, the baby, Kane, Jeff Hardy and one of Jeff's "Alumininummies" going into Old Navy.

A little baby with a Kane mask: "Uncle Matt, what's performance fleece?"

 

::Matt looks at his nephew with utter shock::

 

Jeff: You don't know?

 

::The five of them and the Old Navy employees go on a song and dance routine for a few minutes that abruptly ends when they see Randy Orton buying khakis and solid colored polo shirts::

 

Randy: Plain clothing is the sensible way to dress.

Fuck that shit. Randy shops at Structure.

[Guest TheLastBoyscout]

Yep, Eugene's still over.

[The Czech Republic 0]

"The cow says...MOO! What does the cow say, Lita?"

"Muh?"

"No, it says moo. Can you say moo?"

"Meh?"

"No, Lita, moo!"

And we have a new running gag. Lovely.

Lita-bashing in general is our anti-drug this week. Her word mishap of the week (whatever she said at the wedding, Eric Bershoff...) is a mere formality.

[The Mandarin 0]

Why is the ramp gone?

When the ramp is missing, something is usually driving into the arena and down the aisle or something similar.

Randy Orton's going to come out in a van with the TRUTH logo plastered all over it.

 

Orton: "SMOKING CAN KILL YOU, PEOPLE."

[Steviekick 0]

Eugene doesn't want to get into the cage...classic.

[Guest CronoT]

Holy Crap! Triple H isn't in the Main Event. Did hell freeze over?

[Exslade ZX 0]

Ha, the attempts every week of people to get threads to 'classic status' is amusing, but for all the wrong reasons.

[Guest Quik]

Why is the ramp gone?

When the ramp is missing, something is usually driving into the arena and down the aisle or something similar.

Randy Orton's going to come out in a van with the TRUTH logo plastered all over it.

 

Orton: "SMOKING CAN KILL YOU, PEOPLE."

"Welcome, to Crazy, WORLD~!"

[The Czech Republic 0]

Ha, the attempts every week of people to get threads to 'classic status' is amusing, but for all the wrong reasons.

I was going for "readable status"

[fazzle 0]

Why is the ramp gone?

When the ramp is missing, something is usually driving into the arena and down the aisle or something similar.

.....oh crap

 

miscarriage angle in the main event?

[Ted the Poster 0]

Only if they're all strung out on heroin, and then go next door to do their food and clothes shopping at Target.

Nah, too classy. Walmart- no, K-Mart- fits them better.

[Mole 0]

It isn't good for WWE when I want to watch Road Rules over this cage match.

 

The gimmick is SOOO over done.

Would you prefer Coach interviewing the Diva Search women while they call each other SLUT, CUM STAIN, ANAL WART, DINGLE BERRY?

No, but my DVR allows me to record the match JUST in case it turns out to be some sort of classic.

[Steviekick 0]

NEXT WEEK ON RAW:  Lita and Nidia will be found in the back with a Hooked on Phonics starter kid.

Starter Kid: "Repeat after me: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain."

Lita: "Teh rain in Shpain fallsh mainly on the suffle."

*Starter Kid sighs*

Kane: "FIX HER! FIX MY WOMAN!"

They then do a genetic test and find out that Lita is related to the Hardy's, thus explaining why she shares the same genetic speech impedement that Jeff has. Matt has a good laugh about it, they buy Kane some cargo pants, Jeff builds something out of aluminum foil, and they all go back to NC and become one big happy family.

I can just imagine Matt, Lita, the baby, Kane, Jeff Hardy and one of Jeff's "Alumininummies" going into Old Navy.

A little baby with a Kane mask: "Uncle Matt, what's performance fleece?"

 

::Matt looks at his nephew with utter shock::

 

Jeff: You don't know?

 

::The five of them and the Old Navy employees go on a song and dance routine for a few minutes that abruptly ends when they see Randy Orton buying khakis and solid colored polo shirts::

 

Randy: Plain clothing is the sensible way to dress.

Fuck that shit. Randy shops at Structure.

I dress sensibly. Not like a metrosexual. You must have me confused with Batista.

[Guest Quik]

Why is the ramp gone?

When the ramp is missing, something is usually driving into the arena and down the aisle or something similar.

.....oh crap

 

miscarriage angle in the main event?

Lita somehow manages to get side-swiped in the entranceway by a returning Jeff Hardy? I'd like to see that.

[razazteca 0]

Why is HHH wearing the DDP ace bandage?

[The Czech Republic 0]

Eugene doesn't want to get into the cage...classic.

So does the WWF condone trapping the mentally retarded in cages?

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Why is the ramp gone?

When the ramp is missing, something is usually driving into the arena and down the aisle or something similar.

I was going to say HBK was going to drive down during the ME in the Popemobile but that wouldn't really make too much sense.

[jester 0]

No water spit?

 

They'll probably give him another title run to make up for it.

[Guest CronoT]

Triple H is wearing tape.

 

I can see it know:

 

King: Will Eugene know enough to go for the taped area?

[razazteca 0]

Its clubbin time

[LooseCannon25 0]

So wait, Nidia speaks spanish....is announced form being from Puerto Rico.....yet, they stick her with some good ol' fashioned trailer park trash rock.  Smaaaaart

So Puerto Ricans can only listen to salsa? (or something like that) >_>

 

Man, talk about stereotypes

She could have her song be off the new Terror Squad album...7

I'm Puerto Rican, idiot. You ever hear Triple H come down the ramp to Snoop Dogg, or the Rock come down the ramp to guns and roses? Theme music should fit the character.

Sorry if I offended you. I just see her with the whole thug princess look.

You didn't offend me at all. I was referring to the other dude who said "talk about stereotype".

 

Besides I like Terror Squad...lean back

[Guest Quik]

Why is the ramp gone?

When the ramp is missing, something is usually driving into the arena and down the aisle or something similar.

I was going to say HBK was going to drive down during the ME in the Popemobile but that wouldn't really make too much since.

Nah, I'm betting Kane drives down in the Dragula.

[Steviekick 0]

I see eugene pulling a Foley/Snuka and going off the top of the cage.