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Posted

With each passing day, I find that I have less and less money than I had the day before and so on, even though I'm not spending it.

 

My question to you is:

 

Are you stealing my money?

Posted
With each passing day, I find that I have less and less money than I had the day before and so on, even though I'm not spending it.

 

My question to you is:

 

Are you stealing my money?

I wish! No, the truth is that, like millions of other Americans, you've become the victim of identity theft. As we speak, a teenage girl of ill repute is spending your hard-earned money on frivolous items such as prom dresses, cases upon cases of malt liquor, and above-ground swimming pools. Your only recourse is to track her down immediately. Fortunately, I have an advanced degree in the ology of finding stuff, so I'll be able to help you. I'll just need your name, telephone number, date of birth, Social Security number, and a bank statement indicating the amount of money that you have.

Posted
How did you find the time to post regularly again?

The great flood of 2004 here in Asheville had me out of work for a few days. When I ran out of productive and fulfilling things to do, I decided to do this. My irregular posting should resume tomorrow.

Posted

OK, I'll give it to you but only if you promise to help me get in on that ology. I have some people I'd love to scam. I'll start with the teenage hussies stealing my shit to buy dresses and liquor. That I can deal with, but it's with the above-ground swimming pools that I draw the line. Those tramps.

Posted
OK, I'll give it to you but only if you promise to help me get in on that ology. I have some people I'd love to scam. I'll start with the teenage hussies stealing my shit to buy dresses and liquor. That I can deal with, but it's with the above-ground swimming pools that I draw the line. Those tramps.

They're splish-splashing in your checking account as we speak. Marco Polo, indeed.

Posted

Why does God hurt those he loves?

 

I'm really counting on an answer here, Kinetic. My life depends on it.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

What did you think of my questions thread?

Guest subliminal_animal
Posted

I thought it was okay. I'll get back to your question that you had for me in your questions thread, too. It will be just like I told, swear.

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