Good Night, Irene.

[Ace309 0]

That’s all, folks. It’s been a pleasure writing for you for two and a half years, but at some point my career ran its course and butted up against law school, so I had to make a difficult decision. I have things to do now that will keep me from writing, and if you’ll all forgive me, I want to get on the road to fulfilling Grappler’s prophecy that I’ll be the type of President of the United States who will sip martinis and smoke cigars in the Oval Office.

 

I’ve made a lot of friends and blessedly few enemies in my time in the fed, and unlike a lot of these posts, I’m not going to say that writing was a chore. It did get harder, of course, if only because my character was incredibly hard to evolve. I got crabby when I was writing, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look back on every weekend I spent without shaving or showering, trying to grind out those last few thousand words for another PPV match, and smile. I’m a little embarrassed about the fact that I lost sleep over PPV losses, but the fed was something I enjoyed and cared about quite a bit. I’ll never say that I cared about it too much, though, because this was something that I really, truly enjoyed.

 

I couldn’t believe the day I read the description. “We’re going to write about wrestling? Where do I sign up?” And really, that’s what it was. I got to indulge two of my greatest passions for two and a half years, and I made a few friends along the way.

 

This isn’t going to be a cockslobbering retirement post, though. I’m going to tell it like it is.

 

… ah, fuck that noise.

 

Zed: Sorry about the whole ring thing.

 

I would just like to state at this point that Zed is responsible for every good idea I ever had. He’s essentially responsible for my career as we know it, and I can’t thank him enough for that.

 

Kibs: Here’s hoping you’ll continue as the physical manifestation of my hedonistic side.

 

Edwin: Thanks for setting the bar, man. I can only hope to be viewed in the same light you were.

 

Mags: I really, truly needed to beat you back in the day. You made me work, and you slapped me down. You handed me my first legit loss in six months at Clusterfuck, and I have to tell you – it helped. I can’t say it any better than you put it when you retired – you brought out the best in me.

 

Judge: It was always a pleasure to work with you. You had one of the best dramatic minds I’ve ever had the privilege to bounce ideas off of, and I can only hope that you get the chance to exercise it more in the future. Besides, you’re one hell of a smart man. Get yourself a law degree and give me a reason to make you my attorney general.

 

Danny Williams: Another man who set the bar, albeit in a slightly different way. No matter how many times I say it, it’s true: You brought the content and were responsible for raising the bar when it came to telling a story within the matches and developing a storyline that stretched across a whole career. I can say with certainty that without you in the fed, I would not have accomplished what I did.

 

Dace: You were always fabulous to bounce ideas off of, and the improvement you made from that first match in the fantasy booking folder to where you are now is just fucking incredible.

 

TNT: You have Trey Arseneault syndrome.

 

King: I know we had our issues in the past, but you’ve always been there to give me bad advice and try to sabotage my career. For that, I salute you.

 

Grand Slam: You’re a great fellow to talk to, but my biggest failure as a writer was that I couldn’t convert you into a purohead.

 

Thoth: You gave me a chance, and I can’t thank you enough for that.

 

Frost: Another one who falls under the umbrella of “brought out the best in me.” You were a challenge, and I needed it.

 

IL: Have some fun. Go sip some Black Mists in my honor.

 

Whoever gets the urge to write a HOLT report: I am totally, completely and unabashedly retired. No dark matches for me. I’m just going to quietly retire into training rookies, if we ever get them.

 

And, finally, who could forget…

 

Cutthroat: You are singlehandedly responsible for my career. Because of you, I can divide by zero. You made me feel closer to God, and I hope and pray that some day the wet dreams about you will stop.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, Flesher has left the building.

[Toxxic 0]

*raises a glass*

 

No, fuck that.

 

*raises a pitcher*

 

Have fun law-ing Tom, and drop in to see us. It DEFINITELY won't be the same without you, and i say that as a n00b.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

Cheers Flesher

 

 

 

 

One of my favorite personalities around here and few guys who's promos I actually read. You will be missed Taamo... but you're dent shall fortever be memorable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Snotrockets this post*

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Aww damn.

 

Flesher was probably my favorite character/writer next to Edwin and JT Playa, so it inhales vigorously to see you go. Get that goddamn law degree and prosper, you son of a bitch.

 

Oh, and sorry about that one six-man tag.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

THAT right there, is a legend.

 

 

I bow to you, Flesher.

[Crowe 0]

Welcome to retirement, Tom.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Pffft. This is just so he can go for the Cardozo MMA Title.

 

When you're gouging the poor and making $900,000 a year by drinking their blood, I'll be proud to say I knew you.

[Ced 0]

I salute the man that saw it fit to use my finishing move then raise it to levels higher than I ever could.

 

Welcome to the retirement home.

[devo 0]

Best of luck, Tom. Enjoy not writing.

 

*enjoys not writing*

[Guest Suicide King]

When we talk about the best ever, the eldest among us say names like Cyclone Comet and Stubby. The next wave talked about Magnifico and Thugg. A year later people were mentioning Edwin. And then came the new breed with people like Danny Williams and Frost.

 

For my money, I can say with certainty who the best ever was in our federation, and I am sorry to see him go.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Well, as the guy who ended your career...

 

 

 

Nah, best not go there. But while we're on that subject, seriously, you asking me to be the guy to go out to was the biggest honour I've had in my entire time in the fed. Hands down. And I think King pretty much said it all as far as your standing goes. I remember when I was back in the JL, trying to read through the old and current SWF shows to try and get a feel of where to aim for. And I remember going straight for your matches. Or Ejiro's, but that's besides the point.

 

Keep dropping in man, and good luck with the law stuff. I ever need a lawyer, I'll call you. I doubt any of the others would know what a Yakuza Kick is.

 

Oh, and hey, maybe this time next year, eh. I never did get that singles match against you.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

I gave Taamo my thoughts when I first read his retirement promo. I teared up. Like someone said in the comments thread, it was the perfect way for him to go, and it couldn't have been done any better.

 

He knows the rest of my thoughts, and now the reality of a Flesher-less SWF is going to start kicking in whenever I pop in to actually read every once in a while.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

:: checks Tom Flesher off of "available HOLT wrestlers" list ::

 

Sir, it's been an honor.

 

- Dub Cee

[Ace309 0]

Oh, hey, Dub Cee deserves special attention, as he was the one who suggested to me that I use the boots-in-the-centre device.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

He wanted to help you even after you salsa-ed up the CW belt?

 

Just goes to show, Flesher can make anyone do anything.

 

Yay Tom!

[Crowe 0]

Well, Tom is the greatest god given gift on Earth.

[Secret Agent 0]

Cheers to the end of an excellent career, even if you never came full circle on any plots with me. Have fun with law school, and you have my vote in 2020.