How would you have killed Kane's child?

[Youth N Asia 0]

First off...this is the WWE's 2nd dead baby angle. So no answer you give will be more tasteless then what the company's already doing anyway. The more outlandish the idea, the better.

 

I kinda like the idea of bringing in a nobody that we'll never see again to kill the child. So that way Kane can just eliminate him completly.

 

But I do fell this is a missed opportunity. They could have used one of their own and put them in a big time feud. Steven Richards murdering Kane's baby could have been just the push he needed to get into the upper midcard slot.

 

Slingshot Suplex suggested to me that Kane should being the fetus to the ring with him from now on and use it to beat opponents.

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

I would have brought in One Man Gang in to revive the Akeem gimmick. He would have stole him(the baby) because he was concerned that this could set of the mindset of several witchdoctors that he converses with regularly. Thus, bringing in Papa Shango to make Lita drip black syrup during interviews and it all culminates when we find out that none of this is really true, it was just Slick trying to get back the $300 that Paul Bearer owed to him before his untimely death at the hands of the Undertaker. Oh, and you never really find out what happens to the baby. Don't bitch either, I gave you Akeem, Shango, AND Slick.....I can't do everything.

 

 

This shit writes itself.......

[Guest curry_man2002]

I would have had lita get an abortion and then say at survivor series everyone including kane finds out and then we find out that the wedding gift bischoff gave them (contract to face someone at unforgiven) lita signed the gift but tricked kane into thinking he had signed the gift but instead had signed divorce papers.

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

Have the baby born only to be stolen by the Undetaker's new Ministry of Darkness and sacrificed on a very special live Smackdown.

[AndrewTS 0]

It vanishes from Lita's womb, and a new wrestler appears on WWE TV the next week, claiming to be their child FROM THE FUTURE!

 

It was teleported from Lita's womb as a fetus because an alien civilization had need of the great powers it inherited from Kane, and now Lita and Kane's son, now a battle-worn space knight, comes home.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Mark Henry eats it.

 

"You told me there were baby-back ribs at the buffet table."

 

Just rip off that whole scene from SeaLab 2021.

[redbaron29 0]

I would have had her mysteriously loose the baby in her sleep, then have it later revealed that Pete Rose removed it with a coat hanger!

[Slingshot Suplex 0]

Two words:

 

 

 

Repo Man

[dubq 0]

Who says it had to have been a child? I have a great idea where Lita gives birth on RAW and it turns out, she's not having a kid, she's having a RUBBER HAND!!

 

Oh.. wait..

 

Nevermind.

[cbacon 0]

It vanishes from Lita's womb, and a new wrestler appears on WWE TV the next week, claiming to be their child FROM THE FUTURE!

 

It was teleported from Lita's womb as a fetus because an alien civilization had need of the great powers it inherited from Kane, and now Lita and Kane's son, now a battle-worn space knight, comes home.

ding ding, we have a weiner

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

I would have it revealed that there was no baby, and that Lita was just mindfucking with Kane. Then, when Kane goes to attack Lita, have a new heel debut and lay Kane out, and Lita and the new guy can feud with Kane. This way, Kane gets a big sympathy face push, and he's pretty much a face now anway, Lita gets the spark of a big heel turn, and the new guy is made right out of the gate, and he and Lita are super over for fucking around with Kane's mind. I actually think that this way, it could get over great, because it's something that happens in real life, and that plenty of men can identify with, and they'll go hoss for Kane to get his revenge.

[haVoc 0]

Lita's character would have died with it.

[dubq 0]

Lita gets the spark of a big heel turn, and the new guy is made right out of the gate, and he and Lita are super over for fucking around with Kane's mind.

I don't think anything leading out of a pregnancy angle could make someone 'super-over'...

[iliketurtles 0]

I just would of had Kane move out of the way of the chair shot. It explains it self.

[SuperJerk 0]

I would have it revealed that there was no baby, and that Lita was just mindfucking with Kane. Then, when Kane goes to attack Lita, have a new heel debut and lay Kane out, and Lita and the new guy can feud with Kane.

Every once in a while one of us smarks has a legitimate good idea.

[Guest Trivia247]

The baby contracts a cold within the womb and Kane insists they take Lita's unborn to Papa Shango... Shango does a spell to try and cure it instead Shango Channels the Godfather and twitches the spell sending the child to the future (Ha I am borrowing someone elses idea)

 

4 months later during a Match a big burly man with white hair and one shiny eye runs down and attacks Kane.

 

he calls himself Cable! and sees Kane as Apocalypse!

 

 

Then marvel Sues Vince.... I'd get fired and then Steve Lombardi will perform the only job functions he has with the WWE anymore which is to Kill me in my sleep.

[Kapoutman 0]

I would have made it so that at the beginning of the RAW where Snitsky was supposed to hit Kane with the chair, we have a special announcement:

 

JR: "Folks, it is my duty to inform you that something terrible happened tonight to Kane and Lita. They got in a car accident and they will not be here tonight. We will tell more as it develops."

 

Of course, you don't get any update at all during the evening. You keep this going for a couple of weeks, saying Kane and Lita are nursing injuries at home/hospital until it is announced from the Taboo Tuesday vote that KANE~! was voted to face Triple H at the PPV. Don't worry, you know they will rig it anyway.

 

Now, Triple H needs to play "mind games" with Kane, as he does with all of his opponent. The week before the PPV, Kane has his first match back, just as a practice to see if he is 100%. Kane wins the match, and just as he is about to leave, Triple comes on top of the ramp with a paper in his hands.

 

HHH: "Kane, I got some papers from the hospital, and I have to say...Kane, YOU'RE A MURDERER!"

 

Kane is of course devastated. People learned that the baby was killed during the car accident! Lita is fine, but the baby is gone! The following week, you have Kane come out saying that the only rental car available had manual transmission and that he did not know how to drive a stick shift. There you go. Storyline of the year.

[Downhome 0]

This is simple.

 

Big Boss Man + baby = Chinese food!

 

We could have the Boss show up to become friends with Kane, and to help him celebrate his new child he brings Kane an order of Chinese food, and after Kane has finished eating it all, Boss Man and Lita tell Kane the horrible, horrible secret.

[Guest PimpDaddySarp]

This is simple.

 

Big Boss Man + baby = Chinese food!

 

We could have the Boss show up to become friends with Kane, and to help him celebrate his new child he brings Kane an order of Chinese food, and after Kane has finished eating it all, Boss Man and Lita tell Kane the horrible, horrible secret.

Or have Kane bring the fetus in a jar to RAW, have Boss Man steal it, tie it to the back of his car, and drive away while Kane desperately hangs on to the jar.

[Downhome 0]

Hey, the fetus in a jar is a great idea. Have Kane be so disturbed by his child dying, that he starts bring the fetus in a jar to ringside, sorta like Taker and the Urn.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

4 Words.

 

Barbed.Wire.Coat.Hanger.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

Hey, the fetus in a jar is a great idea. Have Kane be so disturbed by his child dying, that he starts bring the fetus in a jar to ringside, sorta like Taker and the Urn.

Would the fetus give him magical powers to rise up again and all that shit? And would they turn it into a chain?

[Downhome 0]

Yes it would give him magical powers, and no they wouldn't turn it into a chain. People would steal it every now and then, but eventually my chinese food idea would take place.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

The baby should be called Pepper II: The Reckoning.

[nl5xsk1 0]

The dingo ate your baby.

[Guest Coffey]

There shouldn't have ever been a pregnancy angle.

[Guest Big Daddy V1]

The dingo ate your baby.

That dingo, I'll get it one day for eating all those babies.....

 

But for the baby, say that the chair shot wasn't the reason that it died, but rather go with the car accident idea. Instead of being a manual car, make it automatic, but Snitski cut the breaks on it. So Kane is going 50 and tries to stop. He can't. BOOM! Accident. Ambulence comes baby dies from that, but Kane believes it was his fault yuntil Snitski learns a new phrase.

 

 

'It was my fault Kane!'

[Guest Brian]

I would have fired Lita. Problem solved.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

I remember during a PPV (SummerSlam 1998) I believe, during the Kai En Tai Vs. The Oddities, match, when referencing The Oddities' recent "face" turn and fan-friendly actions, Jerry Lawler mentioned how they "no longer associate with those baby-stealing gypsies". I don't know WHAT the fuck he was talking about, nor did JR, who replied, "WHAT??? What baby stealing gypsises?"

 

They could have had gypsies kidnap the baby.

[Guest W_Hillard]

How would I have killed Kane's baby?

 

I would have showed up with a hammer and stake, and a crucifix.

 

"We are strong in the lord and power of his might! I bring you from shadow into you light! I condemn you, the prince of darkness, into hell!"

 

Yeah, I'd pay money to have seen that.