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Guest LooneyTune
Posted

Lex Luger's real name is "Lawrence Pfohl". When last names were being passed out, his relative first issued the name must've been taking a piss or something.

 

Michael Shawn Hickenbottom - Shawn Michaels. HICKENBOTTOM!

Posted

Dwayne Johnson sounds like an insurance salesman. Richard Morgan Fliehr doesn't exactly scream "world champion" either. Virgil Runnels sounds like a fat gas station attendant (wait a minute...). The SAT's real names are Joel and Kelvin.

 

When you think about it, guys like Harley Race, Bret Hart, Kurt Angle, and Brock Lesnar had huge advantages from birth just because of their cool names.

Posted

Matt Morgan, while not a ridiculous name, just sounds like a plumber or a dentist, or anything other than a towering, imposing, 7 foot wrestler.

 

Matt Cappotelli sounds more like a pasta dish than a wrestler.

Guest LooneyTune
Posted

Who in their right mind would name their kid "BROCK"? Imagine the insult with what rhymes with that name.

Guest LooneyTune
Posted

Bart Gunn/Mike Barton's real name is Michael PLOTCHECK. Let's not forget the every memorable Edward Leslie, a.k.a the guy with the most gimmicks ever in a span of 6 years.

Posted

Am I an idiot to have thought this whole time that Billy and Bart Gunn were really brothers? Man I am stupid.

 

Isn't Rey Misterio's name Oscar Guttierez Rubio?

 

Vampiro is Ian Hodgkinson.

Guest LooneyTune
Posted

... eh. I didn't know they really weren't brothers until 1997 when I realized they really didn't act like brothers, look like brothers, or anything to link them.

Posted

Terry's not such a great name for a guy, several wrestlers share that one, but the worst is probably Sabu. Terry Brunk... pretty bad on it's own, worse because it sounds like an unlicensed knock off.

Guest LooneyTune
Posted

Winner and Forever Champion: WARRIOR (His original name, Jim Hellwig, is a good candidate too)

Guest netslob
Posted

heh...your right there, Rat's Milk. i thought the same thing. and i used to think Terry Funk was just his ring name, but alas, no.

 

Oh yeah, DDP is Page Falkinberg. Gay and stupid.

 

heh...i remember on a REALLY old episode of the Daily Show he was on, and when Kilborn asked him what his real name was, and he said Page Falkenberg, Kilborn asked "Isn't that a woman's name?"

 

Molly Holly = Nora Greenwald. i thought it was funny when i found out she was a Christian, cause i'll be damned if that name doesn't sound Jewish.

 

Billy Kidman = Peter Gruner. i can see why he went with Kidman.

 

Mordecai = Kevin Fertig

 

2 Cold Scorpio = Charles Skaggs. any relation to Ricky?

 

pretty much any Samoan name: Rodney Anoa'i (Yokozuna), Lloyd Anoa'i (L.A. Smooth), Afa Anoa'i, Samula Fred Anoa'i (Samu), Solofa Fatu (Rikishi), Uliuli Fifita (Haku/Meng).

 

and for some reason, i was disappointed to find out his real name was Mick Foley. i dunno, he just doesn't look like a "Mick", y'know?

Guest LooneyTune
Posted

The guy's name is FERTIG? Wow... I think being called Mordecai is actually a step up.

Posted

The toughest man in wrestling is named Uliuli Fifita? That's not a name, it's a bad Scrabble hand!

 

Also, RVD is Rob Szatkowski, which not only can I not picture on a marquee, it sounds like a plumber.

Posted

Jake Roberts' real name is Aurelain Smith Jr.

 

Almost explains all the drugs, doesn't it?

Guest netslob
Posted
The toughest man in wrestling is named Uliuli Fifita? That's not a name, it's a bad Scrabble hand!

 

:lol:

 

look behind that tree, it's Clu Gulager!!

Guest LooneyTune
Posted
Shawn Michaels real name is Michael Hickenbottom

Second post, Slimm. :D

Guest netslob
Posted
I thought it awesome that Rick Rood's name was Rick Rood (later turned into Rick Rude so he couldn't be sued, much like Warrior)

yeah, i loved that too. i also like how Rick Steamboat's real name is Richard Blood, and he changed it when he started out because Rick Blood was a better heel name, and he was a face.

 

another for the list: The Steiners are really the Rechsteiners. i see why they shortened it.

Posted

Justin Credible: Peter Polaco. Still better than P.J Walker though!

 

Bubba Ray Dudley: Mark Lamonica. Not a bad name, just weird to think of Bubba with that as his name.

 

Chavo Guerrero Jr: Salvado Guerrero III.

 

Dusty Rhodes: Virgil Runnels Jr.

 

Headbanger Mosh: Chaz Warrington. Sounds like a bad porn name.

 

Saturn: Perry Satullo.

 

Rene Dupree: Rene Goguen.

 

Roddy Piper: Rodderick Toombs.

 

Warlord: Terry Szopinski.

Guest jumpingbombangel
Posted

Mr. Perfect being Curt Hennig. I'd just get tired after a while of having to correct people on spelling and pronunciation. Same thing with Trish Strategias (sp?) and Rob Szatkowski (WTF?).

 

Tammy Sytch should have legally married Candido so she could get rid of that dreadful last name. It's good for a wrestling heel goddess, but bad if she ever wanted to be, say...a 2nd grade teacher helping kids learn to rhyme. :P

Guest LooneyTune
Posted

Way too many people spell his name H-e-n-n-i-n-g. I don't know where anyone got the idea it was ever spelled that way.

Guest netslob
Posted
Lita wins this hands down with Amy Dumas. I can't imagine the torture she went through in grade school.

like that commercial a while back.

 

"So, whatta ya think, Mr. Dumb-Ass?"

 

"The name is Du-Mas."

Guest jumpingbombangel
Posted

lillita.jpg

 

Kids: Hey, there's that Amy Dumbass girl trying to look like Marlo Thomas!

 

Lita: Shut up! My name is DOO-MUHSS!

 

Kids: Hahahahahaha!

 

Lita: *sniffle* I can't wait to grow up so I can look dirty!

Guest Joshua A. Norton
Posted
Also, what's Homicide's real name? I heard it was bad.

Nelson Erazo.

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