Gay Penguins spark uproar

[Guest Arnold_OldSchool]

German "gay" penguins spark protest

 

BERLIN (Reuters) - A plan by a German zoo to test the sexual appetites of a group of suspected homosexual penguins has sparked outrage among gay and lesbian groups, who fear zookeepers might force them to turn straight.

 

 

"All sorts of gay and lesbian associations have been e-mailing and calling in to protest," said a spokesman for the zoo in the northwestern city of Bremerhaven on Friday.

 

 

He said the zoo concluded the penguins might be gay after seeing male penguins trying to mate with other males and trying to hatch offspring out of stones.

 

 

German media reported that female Swedish penguins would be brought to the zoo to test the theory, but when word got out about the plan, the phones started ringing.

 

 

"Nobody here is trying to break-up same sex pairs by force," the zoo's director Heike Kueck told public broadcaster NDR. "We don't know if the three male pairs are really gay or just got together because of a lack of females."

[Gary Floyd 0]

Danny Devito?

[Guest Fook]

Swedish penguins?

 

And here I thought they came from Antarctica.

[2GOLD 0]

This brings up the age old question:

How do you force Penguins to become straight?

 

And Gay and Lesbian groups must be really really bored if they are now defending the rights of animals to be gay. They've been doing fine without the help of GLAAD in the wild so I'm pretty sure they can handle it.

[AndrewTS 0]

I'm surprised PETA hasn't beat them to complaining about this.

[Vern Gagne 0]

Maybe Penguins are just stupid birds who want to be put their dicks in anything that moves.

[2GOLD 0]

Maybe Penguins are just stupid birds who want to be put their dicks in anything that moves.

 

So they are the feathered version of Colin Farrell?

[AndrewTS 0]

Maybe Penguins are just stupid birds who want to be put their dicks in anything that moves.

Well, penguins don't have dicks. They have internal genitalia and the male's genetic material exits through the cloaca. Most birds and reptiles' only orifice for disposing of waste (solid and liquid) and reproducing is the cloaca.

 

http://www.bergen.org/Smithsonian/Humboldt...eproduction.htm

 

So, when birds crap on your car, they're shitting and pissing on it *at the same time*.

[Guest sek69]

 

 

Gay Penguins?

[Jingus 0]

Along the same line of reasoning, shouldn't GLAAD bitch about convicts getting conjugal visits, since that might reduce the amount of assraping in prisons?

[Guest Loss]

Maybe Penguins are just stupid birds who want to be put their dicks in anything that moves.

Penguins don't have sex for pleasure, to the best of my knowledge.

[Guest Failed Mascot]

Loss got turned down by a penguin.

[Guest Loss]

Loss got turned down by a penguin.

Nah, he was just in a tux.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Maybe Penguins are just stupid birds who want to be put their dicks in anything that moves.

Penguins don't have sex for pleasure, to the best of my knowledge.

Penguins do practice prostitution though

[Guest Arnold_OldSchool]

Maybe Penguins are just stupid birds who want to be put their dicks in anything that moves.

Penguins don't have sex for pleasure, to the best of my knowledge.

Penguins do practice prostitution though

this is true, he's not kidding

[Vern Gagne 0]

Maybe Penguins are just stupid birds who want to be put their dicks in anything that moves.

Penguins don't have sex for pleasure, to the best of my knowledge.

Wouldn't that imply it's for mating purposes only than? If that's the case, than why would be after other male Penquins.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Maybe Penguins are just stupid birds who want to be put their dicks in anything that moves.

Penguins don't have sex for pleasure, to the best of my knowledge.

Penguins do practice prostitution though

this is true, he's not kidding

I heard that they do it for stones or something.

[Guest Failed Mascot]

Maybe Penguins are just stupid birds who want to be put their dicks in anything that moves.

Penguins don't have sex for pleasure, to the best of my knowledge.

Wouldn't that imply it's for mating purposes only than? If that's the case, than why would be after other male Penquins.

they're rebelling.

[Guest CronoT]

He said the zoo concluded the penguins might be gay after seeing male penguins trying to mate with other males and trying to hatch offspring out of stones.

I wouldn't call those pengiuns gay. I'd call them brain-damaged or retarded. How in the fuck can something be so stupid, it things a baby chick is going to come out of a rock?

[Ripper 0]

He said the zoo concluded the penguins might be gay after seeing male penguins trying to mate with other males and trying to hatch offspring out of stones.

I wouldn't call those pengiuns gay. I'd call them brain-damaged or retarded. How in the fuck can something be so stupid, it things a baby chick is going to come out of a rock?

Yet i bet if they joined a internet message board, they would be smart enough to get a better sig than this:

 

[2GOLD 0]

Yeah, trying to hatch a rock shows they are smart enough not to use that sig.

I can't even read the message cause I want to see the horribly annoying character hit with a bat.

 

It looks like Pikachu's retarded brother.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Speaking of fluffy stories and man chimps...

 

link

 

Just think of all the ways a man might use a banana to offend a woman.

 

Then you may imagine why some people leaped to the wrong conclusion when a woman complained about a Columbus police officer eating a banana at the Civic Center as people gathered for a Jan. 15 civil rights march.

 

The woman was deeply offended, she told police. The police were deeply bewildered.

 

The offense was not what you might imagine it to be. I imagined the officer shoving the banana into his pants pocket to make others point at it and say, "Hey, is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to be here getting paid overtime?"

 

But that was not what offended the woman, who hung up on people who couldn't figure it out.

 

Then she called Mayor Bob Poydasheff. He said she just started berating him about the police. He told her he'd heard only compliments about how officers handled the weekend march in which the Rev. Jesse Jackson and other longtime civil rights activists led 8,000 people from the Civic Center to the Government Center.

 

"She said, 'No no no no, when the buses pulled into the Civic Center, I saw a policeman eating a banana.' And I didn't know what to say," Poydasheff recalled. "I was stunned. I said, 'What's wrong with that? Police were on their feet for eight hours. They had to get potassium in their system.'"

 

He said the woman told him the banana "was an affront to me and to others, including a former state senator." She wouldn't name the senator.

 

Why was she offended?

 

Well, it seems that in the context of the march, she took the officer's banana eating to imply an analogous racial slur relating black people to apes.

 

Such a comparison would not be uncommon in the parlance of racist propaganda, particularly in the old days. But these days that kind of talk is pretty rare -- and pretty obvious, too, when someone really means it.

 

So as racial slurs go, simply eating a banana now has to be considered rather subtle, for this particular area.

 

The mayor told the woman he'd check it out. And he did, and he learned that while police were working security at the march, the department sent around a snack van to give officers something to eat, and in fact bananas were among the snacks offered, and some officers did eat bananas.

 

So he called the woman back and explained all this, and added an apology. "I'm sorry you were offended, and let me apologize to you personally," he told her.

 

"Well, send it in writing," she told him.

 

So he did. Call it "The Banana Apology."

 

Dated Jan. 22, it says: "As I said in our telephone conversation, I am sorry you found Columbus police officers eating bananas on the street when you arrived in Columbus for the protest. Let me assure you there was no intent to offend. The officers needed some nutrition after standing long hours on the street and they particularly needed the potassium available in bananas and some other fruits."

 

Later the mayor writes: "There was no thought of insulting or offending anyone and perhaps this was thoughtless on our part. In any case, let me offer my sincere apology for anything our officers may have done that gave offense to you or anyone else."

 

Did this satisfy the woman?

 

"I haven't heard from her," Poydasheff said Thursday. "And quite candidly, I don't care. Our officers did no wrong."

 

The woman may never have seen the letter, because the address apparently is wrong. The address on the letter is for "Towers Ferry Road" in Marietta, with a 30039 ZIP code. That code is for Snellville.

 

I found a business on Powers Ferry Road in Atlanta that otherwise matched the address, with a 30339 ZIP. I called that company, and a worker told me a woman with the name to which the letter's addressed does work there. But that woman never called me back, and I don't want to publish the name if I can't confirm it.

 

If the correct woman does get The Banana Apology, she'll see the mayor writes: "I want to assure you, as I did in our telephone conversation, that any offense was entirely unintentional and I guarantee you it won't happen again."

 

Or maybe it will. Does the city plan to deny officers bananas during public events?

 

"Absolutely not," the mayor said. "They can eat all the bananas they want."

 

No doubt some hard-core racists still would use a fruit or a cracker to offend someone, if they got the chance.

 

But sometimes a banana is only a banana.

[Hoff 0]

Ripper wins the thread.

[2GOLD 0]

Dear god, someone hit the bitch.

The fact the cop had to apologize for eating fruit is really pathetic.

 

What would have happened if a KFC was being built across the street?

SEE! THAT is more racist than eating a banana.

 

God damn, I remember when civil rights groups had smart members.

[Dr. Tom 0]

And all this time I was only paying attention to women eating bananas...

[Hoff 0]

Well, they were taking away from your hobby.

 

Oh...you mean actual bananas. Sorry, Tom.

[AndrewTS 0]

Great thread--fun and educational!

 

"Well, send it in writing," she told him.

 

That goes into some amazing level of bitchiness.

 

She needs the apology carved into her chest with a spear.

[Ripper 0]

Great thread--fun and educational!

 

"Well, send it in writing," she told him.

 

That goes into some amazing level of bitchiness.

 

She needs the apology carved into her chest with a spear.

See...THATS racist.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Maybe she'll steal the mayor's television for revenge.

 

*runs*

[Nighthawk 0]

This isn't a cartoon, you know. If the guy was eating shrubs and tree bark, there may have been a case.