A fucking moron writes a GTA:SA "Walkthrough"

[Guest CronoT]

http://www.progressiveboink.com/archive/drted.htm

 

This has to be read to be believed.

[LaParkaMarka 0]

Cmon man, after reading the first sentence you can tell it's parody. Amusing parody, as well.

[CBright7831 0]

Goddamn I want to pass the level where you beat the hispanics with the jumping cars. Alas, it tisn't meant to be.

[KingPK 0]

Yeah, it's a damn funny parody.

 

Your child's initial reaction of excitement for this mini-game will soon be quelled by the realization that it's just as boring as real trucking, with the added challenge of your trailer detaching and exploding whenever you attempt to steer left or right.  But are you or your child aware that 80% of America's goods are transported via the trucking industry?  Tell him or her that if he or she doesn't wield a vehicle that handles like a wooden block proficiently enough, other children just like him or her will starve to death.

 

I'm sure that a lot of you parents have heard that from your child(s).  Those of you who haven't may have children who do not have friends named Jimmy, or are deaf-mute, or were adopted from third-world countries and thusly do not have birthdays.

 

[Ripper 0]

That was funny as hell. Only a moron would think he was serious.

 

...

[AndrewTS 0]

That was funny as hell. Only a moron would think he was serious.

 

...

Be wary of CronoT's snappy comebacks.

[Slayer 0]

Yeah, Ripper better be careful or else Crono will object to his sig again

[Ripper 0]

Yeah, Ripper better be careful or else Crono will object to his sig again

Or a pokemon will say that I am witless.

 

 

 

*cries*

[tekcop 0]

That's great. This is also the second time in a a small amount of months that Crono has proven he can't grasp the concept of sarcasm. Poor guy.

[Guest CronoT]

That's great. This is also the second time in a a small amount of months that Crono has proven he can't grasp the concept of sarcasm. Poor guy.

There's a difference between sarcasm and stupidity; namely, your sig.

[KingPK 0]

Just walk away, Crono.

 

Just walk away.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

"My name is Carl. I will be your valet."

 

 

That is so genius. Also the "Which Carl won't burn in hell" Test. The reminder that chainsawing people on the street isn't a neighborly gesture is golden.

[CBright7831 0]

There's a fucking chainsaw on GTA:SA?

 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

[Dr. Tyler; Captain America 0]

Hahaha. It is a sin to throw grenades at your living room wall.

[Guest cosbywasmurdered]

That's great. This is also the second time in a a small amount of months that Crono has proven he can't grasp the concept of sarcasm. Poor guy.

There's a difference between sarcasm and stupidity; namely, your sig.

The irony is overpowering.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

If your child protests having to do something completely devoid of entertainment, encourage him or her to inform everyone he or she might encounter that Large Marge sent him or her.

Heh.

[cameron chaos 0]

Crono, just admit you are a moron who wouldn't detect sarcasm if it fucked your mother and made you call it daddy and get over it.

[Sonic Reducer 0]

Best. Walkthrough. Ever.

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

It's not hilarious, but this part certainly made me laugh:

 

"Mom, Jimmy has a video game where you can steal a truck and run over prostitutes with said truck and steal their money and use the money to buy grenades and throw said grenades at police officers and use a dildo to beat their charred corpses for hours while yelling the n-word.  Can I get it for my birthday?"

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I'm waiting for the "Idiots, all of you" explanation for this thread...

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

One of these Carl Johnsons will not go to Hell, and the other seven are going there forever to live with the Devil.  Circle the one who will be spared.

 

And it's interactive too! This is some funny shit. I loved the underwater thing at the beginning. It's random stuff like that that can get a chuckle out of me.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I hope Nintendo's anti-piracy division knows about this.

[Jingus 0]

Alright, you guys have gone and forced me to post in this thread. Hopefully my Aura of Death will shut it down and end this goddamn inane argument.

[Jingus 0]

Much like the Spanish Inquisition, I have several weapons: not only the Touch of Death, but double-posting as well.

[tekcop 0]

That's great. This is also the second time in a a small amount of months that Crono has proven he can't grasp the concept of sarcasm. Poor guy.

There's a difference between sarcasm and stupidity; namely, your sig.

Man... I've read that and read that. I still don't get it. Is my sig thing sarcastic? Maybe it's stupid. Yeah, he proabably meant that.

 

Anyways, I enjoyed the walkthrough. The part with the black paper censor made me laugh. I just imagined someone actually doing that.

[Jingus 0]

The strange thing is, even though I'm higher than a goddamned satellite at the moment, I can still read and comprehend tekcop's sig. Our brains are so fucking weird.

[Scroby 0]

I'm very tempted to write down that link and hand it to any parent that walks into my store who is concerned about Mature rated games. Can you really beat someone with a dildo?

[Ted the Poster 0]

Yep. It's in the police station bathroom.

[Guest Danny Dubya v 2.0]

Does this dildo possess the superpower of anal rape?

[iggymcfly 0]

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt

tihng is taht teh frist and lsat ltteer aer at the rghit pclae.

 

Edited for spelling and grammar.