Let's be sincere and non-self-referential

[Henry Spencer 0]

In the eighth grade I parted my hair in the middle and dyed half of it white and the other black.

I did this too, only half red and half white. It looked terrible.

 

Anyways, sincere:

 

My relationships are always fucked because I am incapable of reconciling the part of my brain that wants a meaningful relationship with the part of my brain that just wants to have an orgasm.

 

Consequently, I fall hard for girls, but just end up becoming friends with them, while dating girls that are way hot, but have repulsive personalities.

 

Methinks I'll outgrow this, though, so no worries.

[Guest Fire and Knives]

I'm very close to a friend of mine. I'm going to assfuck his girlfriend. And I don't really care.

Shortened.

This is more or less what happened.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Spring Break could not have come at a worse time. I'm seriously considering committing myself. Thoughts about the rest of my life send me into panic.

[... 0]

I think I compulsively pull my eyebrow hairs out bit by bit. Sometimes my scalp too, but my right eyebrow is looking less and less symetrical.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I don't listen.

Dude I hate to be nice to you seeing as how you hate on me all the time--but you're pretty hilarious. Some of your posts make me LOL2005. You should be able to pull some tail based on sense of humor alone. There are so many fish in the sea it's ri-goddamn-diculous.

It's nothing personal. If I talked to you on AIM I'd probably like you a lot. It's just the liberal Democrat thing, I gotta go after ya. Nothin' too personal

[MrRant 0]

Spring Break could not have come at a worse time. I'm seriously considering committing myself. Thoughts about the rest of my life send me into panic.

Have you at least just considered getting a chick wasted to get laid?

 

Or if you want a relationship. Lower your standards as you probably have some of the most insane standards ever. Not only that but chicks prefer guys that can maintain a long term relationship (ie at least a year) as it proves that you can commit. Just look for someone that you wouldn't mind fucking or being seen in public with and if she has a good personality then go with it.

 

You dig your own grave.

[Guest Stunt Granny]

I'm always putting the feelings and opinions of others over my own. I know thats not what you're supposed to do, but I've completely coasted through life with putting forth very little effort into everything I attempt. It's much easier for me to believe in others rather than myself when I look at my life and see what very little I have accomplished. As time goes on I feel less passionate about everything and become a little more sedated. The only time I do care is when it's too late to do anything about it. The optimist in me says I'm just in a rut and when the wind finally changes direction so will I. But right now I'm depressed cuz I'm lazy and I'm lazy cuz I'm depressed, a viscious cycle indeed.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

The thing about Czech is that he's probably a really obnoxious mutant. He needs a chick who is the same.

 

Patrick's problem is completely mental. I've suggested sluttery myself, which ain't his style and that's fine. What the guy needs is a functional mantra, not a sloppy blowjob.

[The Czech Republic 0]

The thing about Czech is that he's probably a really obnoxious mutant.

Hm. That sucks. I thought "mutant" was just what we were calling people who posted in Testing Grounds during my autumn exile from the WWE folder. oh well

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

It refers to anyone who's retarded or deformed. I very easily see you being the person who replies to every statement made in your presence, regardless of humor or interesting points. Your key to life will be critical thinking and personal restraint.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Actually in group situations I try to keep quiet and only make a joke when it's a total softball that someone lobs. I'm pretty mellow about two-thirds of the time.

[Art Sandusky 0]

I thought that said "Patrick is completely mental."

 

Oh yeah, I always turn over magazines that have people on the cover. Especially if they're smiling.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

What if there's something similar on the back?

[Slayer 0]

The thing about Czech is that he's probably a really obnoxious mutant.

He can shoot red beams from his eyes

[The Czech Republic 0]

The thing about Czech is that he's probably a really obnoxious mutant.

He can shoot red beams from his eyes

Now it all makes sense, my ideal girlfriend is one who can lift things with telekenesis

 

 

(god I'm such a geek)

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Despite the fact that I'm a smartass, I'm really a sentimental and sensitive person.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I wonder how many board members could echo that sentiment. I bet we're all softies at heart. Except JAxlMorrison. He's too cool for that, and busy fucking underage girls anyway.

[Nighthawk 0]

Everybody is like that. Except sociopaths.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Who's to say there aren't any sociopaths at TSM.

[Nighthawk 0]

In the interest of sincerity, I was once diagnosed as a sociopath. I don't believe it, however. Another psychologist (who looked remarkably like Willem Dafoe) had me with antisocial personality disorder. Probably closer to the truth.

[Guest Failed Mascot]

hi!

[Nighthawk 0]

You're nothing, man. Real killers don't talk.

[Nighthawk 0]

So I was drinking this Sam Adams regular Boston Lager. It's the most beery beer I've had and is great with a meal. Anyway, they've got these labels on the bottles that say various things about how great they are. This one says:

"Beer is liquid bread. It's perishable. Freshness matters. In 1988 we pioneered freshness dating so you know your Samuel Adams beer is the freshest. Once a year I swim in it."

I paraphrased some of that. But it opened with "Beer is liquid bread." and closed with "I swim in it."

 

That is utterly insane.

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

So, this bitch that I dated for two months, then cheated on because I thought I could get better shows up at my work the other day. We go outside to have a smoke and chitchat, when her new profession comes up. You guys ever seen that Coors Lite commercial that says "Here's to great achievements" where the guy says, "I once dated a supermodel before she was super...or a model." ? Well, that guy's me now. I haven't slept 35 hours, I've been up all night with this girl. I think I may be in love, despite the fact that at some point I decided it would be a good idea to cheat on this girl. The fact that she's accepting me back somewhat is amazing.

[alfdogg 0]

Fuck, her.

[cbacon 0]

My norms and perceptions are drastically different from the rest of society, which is a bad thing since societal norms and perceptions are what are "right."

 

I can't look at mirrors or pictures of myself for very long. I have a hard time reconciling how I am with how I appear.

 

I never understand this because my own starvation for social interaction makes me wish I had someone that suddenly latched onto me. When I say I want a stalker and would gladly invite them to hang out or something, it's not a joke.

 

I say that I value personality over everything in girls, but will be damned if I end up with an unattractive female. This leads to more self-loathing as I realize my contradictions more and more by the day.

 

Speaking of which, my ability to imagine how I'll be in the future is nonexistent. This leads me to think that I'm going to die young.

 

Some bad moments in elementary school have turned me into the introvert that I am today. Well, not moments per say, but there was definetly a shift in my personality. I didn't really think of it back then, but once I got braces and glasses I became much more quite and reserved. I was so insecure about my hair i'd constantly comb it forward and wear a hat everyday from grade 5 till around grade 11.

 

I still don't i've recoverd from those latter years of elementary school. While certanily better than I was before, I still need a healthy dose of confidence to compensate for my awkward social skills around people I don't know. If i'm talking to a girl, i'm constantly thinking about what i'm going to say next while unintentionally ignoring what she's saying

[Ripper 0]

So, this bitch that I dated for two months, then cheated on because I thought I could get better shows up at my work the other day. We go outside to have a smoke and chitchat, when her new profession comes up. You guys ever seen that Coors Lite commercial that says "Here's to great achievements" where the guy says, "I once dated a supermodel before she was super...or a model." ? Well, that guy's me now. I haven't slept 35 hours, I've been up all night with this girl. I think I may be in love, despite the fact that at some point I decided it would be a good idea to cheat on this girl. The fact that she's accepting me back somewhat is amazing.

She is going to suck off a guy and spit his cum in your mouth just to get you back. Or something like that.

 

 

Basically, cheating on anyone gives them a "do something fucked up for free" card and she is going to drop the bomb on you eventually. But she is probably hot so you will walk right into it. And I will laugh because you kinda deserve it for cheating on her in the first place.

 

 

*laughs*

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I think most of the people in this thread should have some self-esteem slapped into them.

[Ripper 0]

I am all for the slapping part. I just want to slap the shit out of most people.

 

 

 

 

...

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

I'm fully expecting something fucked up to happen. It's inevitable.