Let's be sincere and non-self-referential

[Cherry Blossom Viscount 0]

I'd say so, as you all were referencing self. Irony.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Technically yes, but I believe Inc meant it in the sense of us not going with our cliche's. Of course, we have Clichebot to do all that work for us now, so we shouldn't have to be self-referential anyways.

[Nighthawk 0]

You idiot. Take a class sometime and learn the meaning of words.

[Nighthawk 0]

Not you, X.

[Black Lushus 0]

me??? damn...

[Guest Vitamin X]

For a second there I thought my definition of cliche was incorrect. I even looked it up!

cli·ché also cliche  n.

  1. A trite or overused expression or idea: “Even while the phrase was degenerating to cliché in ordinary public use... scholars were giving it increasing attention” (Anthony Brandt).

  2. A person or character whose behavior is predictable or superficial: “There is a young explorer... who turns out not to be quite the cliche expected” (John Crowley).

 

Meh.

[Ripper 0]

I am currently in a relationship with a engaged woman. My actions are disappointing me, as I have never cheated on anyone, but this is pretty much the same thing.

[Guest Failed Mascot]

The woman Ripper is with is going to to the completely wrong college for all of this.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I have a sinus headache.

[Ripper 0]

The woman Ripper is with is going to to the completely wrong college for all of this.

Really.

[King Cucaracha 0]

I'm bitter about having caught Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome, which has stopped me from playing soccer and ruined my chances of passing the English course I'm doing.

[Ripper 0]

I'm bitter about having caught Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome, which has stopped me from playing soccer and ruined my chances of passing the English course I'm doing.

when I first read this sentence I saw " Post Vaginal Fatigue".

 

I have been trying to figure out how the fuck my mind came up with that for the rest of the time after that.

 

In short, I might be illiterate.

[Guest Vitamin X]

This was the most amusing chain letter I've received in quite some time:

wHen u aLready sTart reaDing tHis dO'nT sTop or eLse sUmtin baD wiL haPpen... My name is Teddy.. I am a 7 year old niggeroid with blonde hair and scary eyes. I Have no nose or ears. I am dead. If you do not post this in the next 5 minutes, I will appear tonight by your bed with a knife And kill you. This is no joke something good will happen to you tonight at 10:22. This is not a joke someone will call you or will talk to you online and say I love you. do not break it..

[Black Lushus 0]

awesome!

[King Cucaracha 0]

I'm bitter about having caught Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome, which has stopped me from playing soccer and ruined my chances of passing the English course I'm doing.

when I first read this sentence I saw " Post Vaginal Fatigue".

 

I have been trying to figure out how the fuck my mind came up with that for the rest of the time after that.

 

In short, I might be illiterate.

See, that sounds a much more appealing illness.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

my wife is prolly #6 on the list...

Ouch, what are the four in between?

 

EDIT: The birth of your daughter and that obviously. I should have quoted the whole post, even though this is just an arbitrary number, I'm curious as to what other things you have placed above this.

[Black Lushus 0]

I was just kidding bro...she's probably #3...taking a shit after holding it for hours makes me happier than seeing my wife...

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

I was just kidding bro...she's probably #3...taking a shit after holding it for hours makes me happier than seeing my wife...

I see, it's just that I know a lot of unhappy married people, so I thought you really were being serious. Are you happier now or before you knew your wife?

[Black Lushus 0]

oh I'm very happy, wouldn't give her up for anything in the world...I'm gonna assume she feels the same way! I recommend marriage and children to everyone, I seriously do...having a child, especially, helps you set your goals and ideas in life

[Guest Failed Mascot]

I was just kidding bro...she's probably #3...taking a shit after holding it for hours makes me happier than seeing my wife...

Those types of shits where your stomach and intestines feel completely free of anything weighing them down are the best. You just walk out of the bathroom with a little extra giddy-up in your step.

[Art Sandusky 0]

This was the most amusing chain letter I've received in quite some time:

wHen u aLready sTart reaDing tHis dO'nT sTop or eLse sUmtin baD wiL haPpen... My name is Teddy.. I am a 7 year old niggeroid with blonde hair and scary eyes. I Have no nose or ears. I am dead. If you do not post this in the next 5 minutes, I will appear tonight by your bed with a knife And kill you. This is no joke something good will happen to you tonight at 10:22. This is not a joke someone will call you or will talk to you online and say I love you. do not break it..

[Art Sandusky 0]

That above post of mine is a big problem of mine in action. I am constantly miserable, and always keep up chain letters/E-mails in the hopes that something will magically happen to crack the depression.

 

I never think people hang out with me because they enjoy my company, rather it's them being nice and not wanting to hurt my feelings.

 

Only three or four of the people I have in my phone are people I actually talk to. The others are people whose voicemails I'm good friends with, and never get any response from messages.

 

I don't know what keeps me trying to talk to people. Almost every social venture ends in smashing defeat.

 

My norms and perceptions are drastically different from the rest of society, which is a bad thing since societal norms and perceptions are what are "right."

 

I can't look at mirrors or pictures of myself for very long. I have a hard time reconciling how I am with how I appear.

 

Once you get past my exterior, I'm a very bitter person who attributes all of his failings to not being physically attractive, inability to act the slightest bit normal in regards to anything that isn't a basic human essential.

 

So rarely does acceptance occur that I latch onto people very quickly, which in turn scares them off. I never understand this because my own starvation for social interaction makes me wish I had someone that suddenly latched onto me. When I say I want a stalker and would gladly invite them to hang out or something, it's not a joke.

 

I say that I value personality over everything in girls, but will be damned if I end up with an unattractive female. This leads to more self-loathing as I realize my contradictions more and more by the day.

 

I only know that all of these problems will get worse and worse as I get closer to the real world and can't see myself amounting to much of anything. Being average is my greatest fear besides death.

 

Speaking of which, my ability to imagine how I'll be in the future is nonexistent. This leads me to think that I'm going to die young.

 

If you were to use emotional maturity as a person's real age, I'd be a three year old.

[Guest cosbywasmurdered]

I love my son, fiancee, and dog.

Is the fiancee the mother of your baby?...

No, the mother hasn't appeared since she left him with me.

[Nighthawk 0]

I would hang out with Kotzy. I like hanging out with insecure people because I often feel like I have to be the center of attention. I'm narcissistic (maybe even vaguely megalomaniacal), but I can be extremely generous and compassionate, though when that side of me shows up is utterly random.

[Ted the Poster 0]

In short, I might be illiterate.

I thought up so many lines for that I got dizzy.

No, the mother hasn't appeared since she left him with me.

*points at Ripper*

 

 

I genuinely feel bad for Kotz. Wow.

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

Holy shit, Kotz is my doppelganger.

[Nighthawk 0]

There's a difference between being sincere and whimpering self pity. Go listen to some NIN records.

[Nighthawk 0]

See? I'm a complete asshole. I can't help myself.

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

I take things too personally.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

See? I'm a complete asshole. I can't help myself.

You had a point, though. Feeling sorry for yourself only makes things worse.