Guest BillyTheStud Report post Posted March 26, 2005 Apparently this is the world's funniest joke. The last time I went on holiday, I flew with BA. He kept shouting:"You crazy foo'. I ain't gettin' on no plane!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
2GOLD 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2005 Two men walk into a bar. Michael Jackson. There. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2005 Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Youth N Asia 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2005 What do you call a black guy that flies a plane for a living? A pilot, you fucking racist! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tawren 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2005 How come the underage kid couldn't get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated ARRRRRRR! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Smues Report post Posted March 26, 2005 Two ducks walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have a rum and coke." The second one says "Holy shit a talking duck!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2005 Apparently this is the world's funniest joke. The last time I went on holiday, I flew with BA. He kept shouting:"You crazy foo'. I ain't gettin' on no plane!" When I heard it, I laughed. Did you get it (the bit about BA being British Airways), or just not find it funny? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shooting Star 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2005 I actually laughed at those....am I not cool? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ted the Poster 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2005 Two snare drums and a cymbal are dropped on the floor. Ba-dum chhh! Man: I was thinking about getting a vasectomy. Doctor: That's a big decision. Have you gone over it with your family? Man: Yeah, they're in favor of it 15-7. How do you fit ten babies into a glove compartment? With a blender. How do you get those same babies out? Tostitos! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2005 Oh, we're doing dead baby jokes? I got a million. What do you get when you stab a baby fifteen times with a butcher knife? A hard-on. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Arnold_OldSchool Report post Posted March 26, 2005 Man: I was thinking about getting a vasectomy. Doctor: That's a big decision. Have you gone over it with your family? Man: Yeah, they're in favor of it 15-7. I may be too dense to get this, but why is this funny? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vyce 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2005 Everyone loves a good joke about the death or mutilation of a child. Q: How do you make a 5 year old cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear. What do you call a black guy that flies a plane for a living? A pilot, you fucking racist! A.....pilot? I don't get it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Youth N Asia 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2005 Boxers don't have sex before a fight, do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Arnold_OldSchool Report post Posted March 26, 2005 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2005 How do you fit 6 million jews in a car? In the ashtray Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2005 I think that one could be improved. No way you could fit 6 million bodies worth of ashes in an ash tray. In that spirit, though; What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mole 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2005 Q: How do you make a 5 year old cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear. Wow, that is horribly awesome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ted the Poster 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2005 What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off. How do you tell if a pedophile is Jewish? He haggles with a kid over the amount of candy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ted the Poster 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2005 Edit: Double post. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ted the Poster 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2005 Triple. Damn router. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted March 27, 2005 What's brown and sticky? A STICK! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ted the Poster 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2005 What looks like Matthew Lillard and isn't funny? Why, Matthew Lillard of course. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2005 How do you make a duck sing soul? - Put it in a pot with some water. Cover it, then simmer till it's Bill Withers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giuseppe Zangara 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2005 A guy and his girlfriend were having sex. Midway through, he pulls out, flips her over and finishes off in her ass. A little bit later, she turned to him and said, "that was a little presumptious, what you did back there," to which he responds, "Presumptious? That's an awfully big word for a ten-year-old." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted March 28, 2005 What did the German say to the black jew? "Get in the back of the oven!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted March 28, 2005 A guy and his girlfriend were having sex. Midway through, he pulls out, flips her over and finishes off in her ass. A little bit later, she turned to him and said, "that was a little presumptious, what you did back there," to which he responds, "Presumptious? That's an awfully big word for a ten-year-old." I've heard a better version of this, but I can't remember it. Hey, do you know how breakdancing was invented? Black guy trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest BDC Report post Posted March 28, 2005 My old roommate's favorite joke: What's better than sex? Sex with an 8 year old girl. What's better than sex with an 8 year old girl? Sex with an 8 year old boy. What's better than sex with an 8 year old boy? Nothing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skywarp! 0 Report post Posted March 28, 2005 What is long, green and flies? Super Pickle. Why does Dracula drink blood? 'Cause root beer makes him burp. Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon? Because he was dead. *runs from thread* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crimson Platypus 0 Report post Posted March 28, 2005 What's the worst part about sex with a 7 year old girl? Getting the blood off of your clown costume. Whats the best part about sex in the shower with a 12 year old girl? Slick her hair back and she looks like a 10 year old boy. How do you starve a Mexican? Hide his food stamps under his work boots. Whats the difference between a black man and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of 4. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toshiaki Koala 0 Report post Posted March 31, 2005 Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
