Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted January 11, 2008 Ha ha. We didn't have white onions... becausa the war! Just those big yellow ones... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlackFlagg 0 Report post Posted January 11, 2008 Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically and while we speak in a well-educated manner, they tend to use low-brow expressions like 'oh yeah?' and 'com'ere a minute.' Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart! Com'ere a minute. Bart: You com'ere a minute." Homer: Oh yeah? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cheech Tremendous 0 Report post Posted January 11, 2008 Marge: There's someone here to help you Homer: Is it Batman? Marge: Batman was a scientist. Marge: It's not Batman! Homer: I call the big one bitey. Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut! Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts! Homer: Explain how! Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services! Homer: Woo-hoo! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dandy 0 Report post Posted January 11, 2008 Grandpa Simpson: The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish. We hanged more 'n a few. Marge; Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie? Grandpa: I sure hope so... And here is the supposed quote I was misquoting (and apparently Venk and Milky, too if this is correct): Mr. Burns: So do u have a way to get rid of the protesters? Grandpa: One way to get rid of them is to tell 'em stories that dont go anywhere. Like the time we went over to shelbyville during the war, I wore an onion on my belt....which was the style at the time...you couldnt get those white ones, you could only get those big yellow ones.................now where was I........oh yeah, the important thing was I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time, you couldnt get those... (trails off) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cheech Tremendous 0 Report post Posted January 11, 2008 Mr. Burns: So do u have a way to get rid of the protesters? Grandpa: One way to get rid of them is to tell 'em stories that dont go anywhere. Like the time we went over to shelbyville during the war, I wore an onion on my belt....which was the style at the time...you couldnt get those white ones, you could only get those big yellow ones.................now where was I........oh yeah, the important thing was I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time, you couldnt get those... (trails off) Doesn't he say something about going to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville at the time... or am I mixing my quotes up? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlackFlagg 0 Report post Posted January 11, 2008 Dr. Hibbert: This is a text-book kidney blow-out, which would explain those loud pops you heard. Homer: So you're saying I don't need a new muffler? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dandy 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Mr. Burns: So do u have a way to get rid of the protesters? Grandpa: One way to get rid of them is to tell 'em stories that dont go anywhere. Like the time we went over to shelbyville during the war, I wore an onion on my belt....which was the style at the time...you couldnt get those white ones, you could only get those big yellow ones.................now where was I........oh yeah, the important thing was I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time, you couldnt get those... (trails off) Doesn't he say something about going to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville at the time... or am I mixing my quotes up? I would have sworn to that, too. Perhaps the page I got the quote from was user-submitted? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaMarka 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Here's the one from wikiquote: Abe: Well, we can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One is to tell stories that don't go anywhere! Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what we called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say! Now where was I? Oh yeah! The important thing to remember is that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions, 'cause of the war. The only ones you could get were those big yellow ones... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Yeah, I definitely remember "cause of the war" being in there. Another one of my favorites: "It hasn't changed since that magical evening when I knocked you up." "We drank so much that night." "Yeah... I was afraid Bart would be born a dimwit!" *nervous laughter* My favorite underappreciated characters: Lenny and Karl: "Lenny and... Karl!" "Aw nuts... I mean... aw nuts." "That old goat can't fire me! I'm gonna give him a piece of my mi- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Aw nuts." "MY EYE! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!" "But... this was a contest for children!" "Yeah! And Homer beat their brains out!" "Please don't tell anyone how I live." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DMann2003 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Homer's at a county fair where Bachman Turner Overdrive is playing: Homer- Taking Care of Business!! BTO- Yes, yes, we'll get to all your favorite hits, but first we want to play a song from our latest album... Homer- Oh no! No new crap! 'Taking Care of Business', right now! BTO begins playing TCB Homer- Get to the 'working overtime' part! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaMarka 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 My favorite underappreciated characters: Lenny and Karl: "Lenny and... Karl!" "Aw nuts... I mean... aw nuts." "That old goat can't fire me! I'm gonna give him a piece of my mi- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Aw nuts." That episode was gold, especially the Lenny and Carl moments. Lenny - "We did it...all thanks to teamwork!" Carl - "Yeah, my teamwork" Lenny: Did you hear something? Carl: No. Lenny: Did I? Carl: (exasperated) I don't know! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrVenkman PhD 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 When the theatres here were doing "guess who this fuzzy picture is based on our clues", I always guessed Otm Shank. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlackFlagg 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Movie ad: Buzz Cola! The taste you'll kill for! German soldier: Available in ze lobby! Lisa: Do they really think cheapening the memory of our veterans will sell soda? Homer: I have to go to ze lobby! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrVenkman PhD 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Newspaper headline: "TODAY WE REMEMBER MARTIN LUTHER KING" Byline: "Tomorrow we don't" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 "MY EYE! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!" I love that line. I even stole it for one of my YouTube movies. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Metal Maniac 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 I have to ask how you guys had a little debate about the accuracy of Grandpa's "Stories That Don't Go Anywhere" bit, and yet missed Cheech's rendition of "Batman's a scientist." I'm sorry, but that was kind of a mess. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dandy 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Well, we debated because we were correcting each other. I KNEW the Batman quote was fucked, but I hadn't made an attempt at the correct one, so I didn't bother. Each of us had made different posts on the quote, and none of us had the full quote. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gary Floyd 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Grampa: "Welcome home, Son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What's wrong with your wife?" Homer: "Never mind, you wouldn't understand." Grampa: "Flu?" Homer: "No." Grampa: "Protein deficiency?" Homer: "No." Grampa: "Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?" Homer: "No." Grampa: "Unsatisfying sex life?" Homer: "N- yes! But please, don't you say that word!" Grampa: "What, seeeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had sex." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vern Gagne 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Homer's at a county fair where Bachman Turner Overdrive is playing: Homer- Taking Care of Business!! BTO- Yes, yes, we'll get to all your favorite hits, but first we want to play a song from our latest album... Homer- Oh no! No new crap! 'Taking Care of Business', right now! BTO begins playing TCB Homer- Get to the 'working overtime' part! What is the episode that Blood and Sweat perform? The just aired Phil Hartman's last episode. Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other nature films as "Earwigs, Ew." and "Man Vs Nature... The Road To Victory". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Red Baron 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 [santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone] Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush. Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it. Homer: D'oh. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Red Baron 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau? Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it. Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Milhouse: It smells funny in there... Homer: No it doesn't! Apu: I have problems wit- Lenny: I'm always interrupting people! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlackFlagg 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 "Mr. Simpson the tar fumes are making me dizzy." "Yeah they'll do that..." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
luke-o 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Wiggum: "Not that I'm being promoted, Lou, you can be the new cheif of police, Eddy, you can be Lou" Eddy: "Who's going to be Eddy?" Wiggum: "We don't need an Eddy" (Eddy looks sad) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrVenkman PhD 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Mr. Burns: (checking his stocks) Ah, right where I left off September, 1929 ... oh... oh no... Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash?! Smithers: Um, well...sir, it happened twenty-five years before I was born. Mr. Burns: Oh, that's your excuse for everything! I think Burns asks Smithers how his Confederate Slave Holdings stock is doing before that line ("uh... steady"). Burns to Krusty (who is buying a box of Krusty Os) at the Supermarket: Excuse me, where might I find the Burns Os? Krusty: Listen pal, they don't put nobodies on cereal boxes! Burns: *picks up and examines a box of Count Chocula* Hmm... well, I suppose this kind of looks like me. Homer: Hey, what does this job pay? [union steward] Carl: Nothin'. Homer: D'oh! Carl: Unless you're crooked. Homer: [loudly] WOO-HOO! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
treble 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 And furthermore, "Moon pie? What a time to be alive." Haha, yes. Love that one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlackFlagg 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 Burns to Krusty (who is buying a box of Krusty Os) at the Supermarket: Excuse me, where might I find the Burns Os? Krusty: Listen pal, they don't put nobodies on cereal boxes! Burns: *picks up and examines a box of Count Chocula* Hmm... well, I suppose this kind of looks like me. Burns: Ketchup...Catsup...Ketchup...Catsup...Oh, I'm in way over my head. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AboveAverage484 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2008 "Alcohol increases your ability to drive.'' [looks up the answer] "False''!? Oh, man!" -- Otto studies for his driving test Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cameron chaos 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2008 Homer: Marge, she's going to narc on our stash! Marge: We don't have a stash! Homer: No... of course we don't. *looks around awkwardly* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlackFlagg 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2008 "We leave you the kids for three hours and the county takes them away?" "Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
