Cousins Marry

[MrRant 0]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/conte...5042401406.html

 

By Fredrick Kunkle

Washington Post Staff Writer

Monday, April 25, 2005; Page B01

 

ALTOONA, Pa.

 

Love comes in at the eye, the poet William Butler Yeats wrote, and so it was for Donald Andrews: One look, and he knew that he was in love, intensely in love.

 

 

"We just wanted to be together," says Eleanor Amrhein, with her first-cousin husband Donald Andrews Sr. at home in Altoona, Pa. "We knew what we were going to have to go through."

 

"I just could not stop looking at her," Andrews, 39, recalled, sitting in the late-day shade of a cafe umbrella he set up in the yard of his mobile home. "I just kept thinking: 'I'm going to get her. Someday, I'm going to get her and marry her.' "

 

He also knew, even as a mere lad of 14, that this never would be just any romance, because the object of that rapturous gaze happened to be his cousin Eleanor. And not a distant cousin, located somewhere in the far branches of the family tree. Their mothers were sisters. They knew their attraction -- she had felt it, too -- was taboo, and they kept it more or less a secret. That is, until last month, when they decided it was time to marry.

 

Turned away from the Blair County Courthouse because Pennsylvania law prohibits first-cousin marriages, Donald W. Andrews Sr. and Eleanor Amrhein, 37, crossed into Maryland to wed. Before they could think about a honeymoon, the newlyweds became the BUTT of jokes on the late-night talk shows.

 

But their marriage also cast a light on conflicting state laws surrounding the practice, and on such groups as Cousins United to Defeat Discriminating Laws Through Education (C.U.D.D.L.E.) and http://www.cousincouples.com/ , which cite new research to encourage acceptance of such unions.

 

"In God's eyes, we're all brothers and sisters. You can't tell your heart who to fall in love with," Amrhein said.

 

The incidence of consanguineous marriages has fallen in much of the industrialized world but remains common in some parts of Latin America, the Middle East and Asia. Maryland is one of 20 states that permit it, as does the District. (Six more allow such marriages only under certain conditions.)

 

Muddassir H. Siddiqui, shaikh of the All Dulles Area Muslim Society in Herndon, said the prophet Muhammad encouraged Muslims to marry non-relatives. But the practice of intermarrying remains in Islamic societies where tribal systems are strong, and it sometimes carries over to new immigrants in the United States. But not for long.

 

"The kids who are growing up here in America don't like it. They say, 'I'm not going to marry my cousin,' " Siddiqui said.

 

In general, studies bear out the taboo's wisdom, suggesting that marriages between people related by blood -- known as consanguinity -- produce a higher risk of genetic disorders in their offspring. It is especially true among closed or isolated communities, such as among some Arab communities in the Middle East, Hindus and others in southern India, Ashkenazi Jews in Eastern Europe and the Amish in North America.

 

Yet a recent study suggested that though the relative risk of birth defects is higher among the offspring of first and second cousins, the absolute risk remains small in societies where inbreeding is rare. The study, published in the Journal of Genetic Counseling in April 2002, found that the risk of birth defects ran about twice as high -- about 6 to 8 percent -- for cousins, compared with about 3 to 4 percent for unrelated couples. In absolute terms, however, that still translated into odds of better than 90 percent that a child will be born without problems, the study found.

 

"And that generally wasn't realized by people. They thought if you marry your cousin, the risk was much, much higher," said Arno Motulsky, a professor of genome sciences at the University of Washington who co-authored the study.

 

When the study appeared, however, news coverage often emphasized the low risk without noting that such marriages pose less danger because they are rare.

 

 

"We just wanted to be together," says Eleanor Amrhein, with her first-cousin husband Donald Andrews Sr. at home in Altoona, Pa. "We knew what we were going to have to go through."

 

"They went completely over the other way and said there's no risk. That's not true," Motulsky said. "Persons should get full counseling, full advice about what they are getting into, what the problems are, and then it should be left to them."

 

For Andrews and Amrhein, childbearing was not an issue: They said they did not plan to have any children. Instead, they just want to be together.

 

Neither revealed their secret to anyone until about seven years ago. They began to date after her marriage ended in divorce and his longtime relationship broke up.

 

Their families recoiled at the news. When the two began living together, her family disowned her for a time. She was no longer welcome at Sunday dinners. They refused to take her telephone calls. Friends dredged up Bible passages to scold them.

 

They settled down in their blue-and-white mobile home with three dogs, a cat, two guinea pigs named Beavis and BUTT-Head, and an iguana that loves to eat kiwi.

 

Andrews collects disability payments from the government. Amrhein works at the courtesy desk at Wal-Mart.

 

"I tell people I married her for the health benefits and the Wal-Mart discount card," Andrews said, only half-joking.

 

She slapped his thigh.

 

"Yeah," she said, eyes rolling.

 

They kid each other a lot and share many interests, such as camping and fishing. They agree to disagree on other things. He smokes Jacks 100's; she prefers Marlboros. He hunts. She loves animals.

 

When she tunes in to shows that have what he calls "that sappy stuff" -- "Friends," say, or "Little House on the Prairie" -- he exits to head to another television. He gushes at the thought of walking into Red Lobster and picking out the plumpest one in the tank.

 

"Eck," she said. And don't ask her about eating groundhog.

 

"We just wanted to be together," says Eleanor Amrhein, with her first-cousin husband Donald Andrews Sr. at home in Altoona, Pa. "We knew what we were going to have to go through."

 

"It smells like a pork chop frying. Tastes like chicken," he said, helpfully.

 

Six years ago, he proposed to her at the jewelry case in Wal-Mart after they spied a pair of wedding bands on sale.

 

"I said, 'Are you prepared to go through the Hell we're going to go through?' " he said.

 

Yes, she said, accepting the engagement. But because of a host of concerns, they locked their rings away until last month. After a Pennsylvania court clerk refused to grant a marriage license, the couple challenged the refusal in open court, as allowed by law, and lost.

 

So on March 28 -- Amrhein already has to prompt her newlywed to remember the exact date -- they crossed the state line. In a civil ceremony attended by his mother and a niece and nephew, the cousins held hands before a justice of the peace in Calvert County and exchanged vows.

 

"We just wanted to be together," Amrhein said. "We knew what we were going to have to go through. It would be nice if what came out of this is, it would help other people in our situation."

 

Staff researchers Magda Jean-Louis and Bobbye Pratt contributed to this report.

 

Well I'm glad we are so feverishly to ban gay civil unions and such that we can't be bothered by incest.

 

 

Odd that it happened in Maryland though.

 

 

[The Czech Republic 0]

I couldn't find it in me to laugh.

[Guest MikeSC]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/conte...5042401406.html

 

By Fredrick Kunkle

Washington Post Staff Writer

Monday, April 25, 2005; Page B01

 

ALTOONA, Pa.

 

Love comes in at the eye, the poet William Butler Yeats wrote, and so it was for Donald Andrews: One look, and he knew that he was in love, intensely in love.

 

 

"We just wanted to be together," says Eleanor Amrhein, with her first-cousin husband Donald Andrews Sr. at home in Altoona, Pa. "We knew what we were going to have to go through."

 

"I just could not stop looking at her," Andrews, 39, recalled, sitting in the late-day shade of a cafe umbrella he set up in the yard of his mobile home. "I just kept thinking: 'I'm going to get her. Someday, I'm going to get her and marry her.' "

 

He also knew, even as a mere lad of 14, that this never would be just any romance, because the object of that rapturous gaze happened to be his cousin Eleanor. And not a distant cousin, located somewhere in the far branches of the family tree. Their mothers were sisters. They knew their attraction -- she had felt it, too -- was taboo, and they kept it more or less a secret. That is, until last month, when they decided it was time to marry.

 

Turned away from the Blair County Courthouse because Pennsylvania law prohibits first-cousin marriages, Donald W. Andrews Sr. and Eleanor Amrhein, 37, crossed into Maryland to wed. Before they could think about a honeymoon, the newlyweds became the BUTT of jokes on the late-night talk shows.

 

But their marriage also cast a light on conflicting state laws surrounding the practice, and on such groups as Cousins United to Defeat Discriminating Laws Through Education (C.U.D.D.L.E.) and http://www.cousincouples.com/ , which cite new research to encourage acceptance of such unions.

 

"In God's eyes, we're all brothers and sisters. You can't tell your heart who to fall in love with," Amrhein said.

 

The incidence of consanguineous marriages has fallen in much of the industrialized world but remains common in some parts of Latin America, the Middle East and Asia. Maryland is one of 20 states that permit it, as does the District. (Six more allow such marriages only under certain conditions.)

 

Muddassir H. Siddiqui, shaikh of the All Dulles Area Muslim Society in Herndon, said the prophet Muhammad encouraged Muslims to marry non-relatives. But the practice of intermarrying remains in Islamic societies where tribal systems are strong, and it sometimes carries over to new immigrants in the United States. But not for long.

 

"The kids who are growing up here in America don't like it. They say, 'I'm not going to marry my cousin,' " Siddiqui said.

 

In general, studies bear out the taboo's wisdom, suggesting that marriages between people related by blood -- known as consanguinity -- produce a higher risk of genetic disorders in their offspring. It is especially true among closed or isolated communities, such as among some Arab communities in the Middle East, Hindus and others in southern India, Ashkenazi Jews in Eastern Europe and the Amish in North America.

 

Yet a recent study suggested that though the relative risk of birth defects is higher among the offspring of first and second cousins, the absolute risk remains small in societies where inbreeding is rare. The study, published in the Journal of Genetic Counseling in April 2002, found that the risk of birth defects ran about twice as high -- about 6 to 8 percent -- for cousins, compared with about 3 to 4 percent for unrelated couples. In absolute terms, however, that still translated into odds of better than 90 percent that a child will be born without problems, the study found.

 

"And that generally wasn't realized by people. They thought if you marry your cousin, the risk was much, much higher," said Arno Motulsky, a professor of genome sciences at the University of Washington who co-authored the study.

 

When the study appeared, however, news coverage often emphasized the low risk without noting that such marriages pose less danger because they are rare.

 

 

"We just wanted to be together," says Eleanor Amrhein, with her first-cousin husband Donald Andrews Sr. at home in Altoona, Pa. "We knew what we were going to have to go through."

 

"They went completely over the other way and said there's no risk. That's not true," Motulsky said. "Persons should get full counseling, full advice about what they are getting into, what the problems are, and then it should be left to them."

 

For Andrews and Amrhein, childbearing was not an issue: They said they did not plan to have any children. Instead, they just want to be together.

 

Neither revealed their secret to anyone until about seven years ago. They began to date after her marriage ended in divorce and his longtime relationship broke up.

 

Their families recoiled at the news. When the two began living together, her family disowned her for a time. She was no longer welcome at Sunday dinners. They refused to take her telephone calls. Friends dredged up Bible passages to scold them.

 

They settled down in their blue-and-white mobile home with three dogs, a cat, two guinea pigs named Beavis and BUTT-Head, and an iguana that loves to eat kiwi.

 

Andrews collects disability payments from the government. Amrhein works at the courtesy desk at Wal-Mart.

 

"I tell people I married her for the health benefits and the Wal-Mart discount card," Andrews said, only half-joking.

 

She slapped his thigh.

 

"Yeah," she said, eyes rolling.

 

They kid each other a lot and share many interests, such as camping and fishing. They agree to disagree on other things. He smokes Jacks 100's; she prefers Marlboros. He hunts. She loves animals.

 

When she tunes in to shows that have what he calls "that sappy stuff" -- "Friends," say, or "Little House on the Prairie" -- he exits to head to another television. He gushes at the thought of walking into Red Lobster and picking out the plumpest one in the tank.

 

"Eck," she said. And don't ask her about eating groundhog.

 

"We just wanted to be together," says Eleanor Amrhein, with her first-cousin husband Donald Andrews Sr. at home in Altoona, Pa. "We knew what we were going to have to go through."

 

"It smells like a pork chop frying. Tastes like chicken," he said, helpfully.

 

Six years ago, he proposed to her at the jewelry case in Wal-Mart after they spied a pair of wedding bands on sale.

 

"I said, 'Are you prepared to go through the Hell we're going to go through?' " he said.

 

Yes, she said, accepting the engagement. But because of a host of concerns, they locked their rings away until last month. After a Pennsylvania court clerk refused to grant a marriage license, the couple challenged the refusal in open court, as allowed by law, and lost.

 

So on March 28 -- Amrhein already has to prompt her newlywed to remember the exact date -- they crossed the state line. In a civil ceremony attended by his mother and a niece and nephew, the cousins held hands before a justice of the peace in Calvert County and exchanged vows.

 

"We just wanted to be together," Amrhein said. "We knew what we were going to have to go through. It would be nice if what came out of this is, it would help other people in our situation."

 

Staff researchers Magda Jean-Louis and Bobbye Pratt contributed to this report.

 

Well I'm glad we are so feverishly to ban gay civil unions and such that we can't be bothered by incest.

 

 

Odd that it happened in Maryland though.

 

 

Of course, when some people who opposed gay marriage mentioned this as a possibility, people laughed.

 

"That would never happen", they said.

-=Mike

[Ted the Poster 0]

That's hot.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I don't think they have room for error if they're going to have kids with birth defects.

[MrRant 0]

If only I could insert a clip that would play "Dueling Banjos" everytime you clicked this thread.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Eh, I'd prefer a washboard, a jug with "XXX" on it, and some spoon slappin'.

[MrRant 0]

MikeSC,Apr 26 2005, 12:58 AM]

Of course, when some people who opposed gay marriage mentioned this as a possibility, people laughed.

 

"That would never happen", they said.

        -=Mike

But the laws were on the books already in MD allowing this.

 

 

OMG... FACTS~!

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Yeah, look at that. 26 states and DC, according to the CNN article for this story. I knew there were some allowances, but didn't know that many states had them. Nothing to do with gay marriage at all.

 

The lobster quote's my favorite.

[iggymcfly 0]

I bet if we could see pictures of what these people looked like, we'd have true comedy. They sound like they're the absolute stereotypical rednecks that you'd imagine would be in such a situation.

[tekcop 0]

I bet if we could see pictures of what these people looked like, we'd have true comedy. They sound like they're the absolute stereotypical rednecks that you'd imagine would be in such a situation.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Rant, outside of Shittsburgh and Philly, PA is a redneck state. That's why Republicans do quite well, outside of the cities I have just mentioned. From what I know of the area, Altoona seems to be a pretty conservative place (home of Bud Shuster, master of pork spending in his day). It's about an hour west of Sappy Valley, for those keeping score at home.

 

Six years ago, he proposed to her at the jewelry case in Wal-Mart after they spied a pair of wedding bands on sale

 

*Shakes head...*

[MooreMark 0]

Six years ago, he proposed to her at the jewelry case in Wal-Mart after they spied a pair of wedding bands on sale

 

*Shakes head...*

That's gold!

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

Rant, outside of Shittsburgh and Philly, PA is a redneck state. That's why Republicans do quite well, outside of the cities I have just mentioned. From what I know of the area, Altoona seems to be a pretty conservative place (home of Bud Shuster, master of pork spending in his day). It's about an hour west of Sappy Valley, for those keeping score at home.

 

I wouldn't quite classify it as a redneck state, although there are vast pockets of redneckity (or whatever you call it, just be thankful there is no Nascar track five miles from your home). NE PA around Scranton/Wilkes-Barre is predominantly Irish. Southeastern PA is mostly German ancestry, and my area is increasingly festered by New Yorkers.

[Matt Young 0]

A young Terry Funk?

[Guest Cerebus]

I love that article. The author couldn't make them seem dumber and more backwoods-retarded if he tried. And why on earth did they quote a Muslim mullah? Second, the fact that a Cousins United to Defeat Discriminating Laws Through Education organization actually exists makes my day.

 

Anyway, this is bad, like really bad. As the article mentions it can, and does, lead to higher birth defects. My wife's father's side has had a history of mental problems because of consanguinious mairrages back in the day (before you ask her parents aren't cousins).

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

My wife's father's side has had a history of mental problems because of consanguinious mairrages back in the day (before you ask her parents aren't cousins).

You're not fooling anyone -- you're marrying your sister (I would, too, she's f'n hot...)

[Guest Cerebus]

You caught me. Bastard.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I should -- I'm your uncle, after all, and you're banging my step-niece...

[Special K 0]

Oh, yeah. Totally the gays' fault.

 

Who cares? would be my reaction.

[Vyce 0]

What, so none of you have ever fooled around with a cousin before??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, I actually haven't. But I'll be honest, I do have a second-cousin that I maybe would have tried it with. But no marriage, that's just sick!

[nl5xsk1 0]

MikeSC,Apr 26 2005, 12:58 AM]

Of course, when some people who opposed gay marriage mentioned this as a possibility, people laughed.

 

"That would never happen", they said.

        -=Mike

But the laws were on the books already in MD allowing this.

 

 

OMG... FACTS~!

Hey, this is current events ... facts only get in the way of jokes and opinions.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Shut the fuck up...

[Downhome 0]

A young Terry Funk?

A current Tammy Lynn Sytch?

[Guest MikeSC]

MikeSC,Apr 26 2005, 12:58 AM]

Of course, when some people who opposed gay marriage mentioned this as a possibility, people laughed.

 

"That would never happen", they said.

        -=Mike

But the laws were on the books already in MD allowing this.

 

 

OMG... FACTS~!

The problem is, though, that the arguments used by the pro-gay marriage side can be used by a LARGE group of people.

-=Mike

[Ripper 0]

MikeSC,Apr 26 2005, 12:58 AM]

Of course, when some people who opposed gay marriage mentioned this as a possibility, people laughed.

 

"That would never happen", they said.

        -=Mike

But the laws were on the books already in MD allowing this.

 

 

OMG... FACTS~!

The problem is, though, that the arguments used by the pro-gay marriage side can be used by a LARGE group of people.

-=Mike

Um so?

 

They are two different arguments. They have nothing to do with each other. Someone that wants to marry their cousin is going to want to fight to marry their cousin, and if gays never asked to get married, the cousin marrying argument would be just as strong, as it is their own argument.

 

A man asking to marry a 8 year old girl is not the same as a grown man wanting to marry another man. They are two different request, they are two different issues, and they are not related besides the fact that marry is there. This is the same thing.

 

And as a matter of fact, the whole "Marriage is between one man and one woman" thing being pushed kind of makes the "I want to marry my cousin" argument STRONGER than the gay marriage argument. I mean, that IS one man and one woman.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

consanguinious

Hey, that's a pretty nifty word.

[LessonInMachismo 0]

And as a matter of fact, the whole "Marriage is between one man and one woman" thing being pushed kind of makes the "I want to marry my cousin" argument STRONGER than the gay marriage argument. I mean, that IS one man and one woman.

Unless two male cousins want to marry...

[Special K 0]

Let them get married. Who gives a fuck?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Apparently the female cousin, that's who.

 

She'd have to give it away because I wouldn't pay for it...