One and Only Star Wars Geekiness Thread

[Black Lushus 0]

I think just the corniness of it. It was very "un-Vader-ish"

[Aero 0]

I think the NOOOOOOOO gets so much criticism just because it's corny and cliched. He's fucking Darth Vader, and instead of making him just destroy the room, they made him yell that.

 

 

[Black Lushus 0]

let's all just be thankful Rip didn't ask us to explain Medichlorians!

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Attack of The Clones was awful until the Clone Troopers came to the rescue.

[Boon 0]

Re: Leia's mom. I always thought it was in reference to her adopted mother as well.

 

As far as preference: III and V are 1 and 1A for me. Then it goes IV, VI, II and I. Watching VI again, it really isn't that good. But I and II are only watchable for better light saber duels, Ewan's acting and Natalie's face.

 

As for the new Clone Wars- I really don't see why they needed to revisit those. I thought the animated series was very well done. That being said, I will check out the new version.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Attack of The Clones was awful until the Clone Troopers came to the rescue.

Nonsense. For 1 thing, everything w/ Jango Fett ruled hard.

 

Jedi's low point are the Ewoks & the brother/sister thing (and the new dance routine in Jabba's palace). Other than that, I can't complain much about the movie. Plus, Jedi had the series's best space battle.

[Ripper 0]

Attack of The Clones was awful until the Clone Troopers came to the rescue.

Nonsense. For 1 thing, everything w/ Jango Fett ruled hard.

 

Jedi's low point are the Ewoks & the brother/sister thing (and the new dance routine in Jabba's palace). Other than that, I can't complain much about the movie. Plus, Jedi had the series's best space battle.

 

 

Oh yeah...what the fuck was that dance routine thing? Ugh.

 

 

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

No clue. Originally, there was a number by just these guys:

 

 

No where near as corny as the routine you saw.

[bobobrazil1984 0]

regarding the NOOO, gotta keep in mind, people's impressions of Darth Vader are based off of 20 years of the original trilogy. in those 20 years we never saw kid anakin, whiny anakin, anakin in love, or any of the prequel stuff. so somehow the noooo just feels corny, stupid, and un-Vader like. I'd agree it is probably just another "prequel moment" for someone who just saw all the SW movies at once.

[Boon 0]

Plus, Jedi had the series's best space battle.

I was pretty bothered by the lack of good dogfights in the new trilogy. I understand they're not in wartime, but shit. Anakin as a kid being the accidental hero and the opening to Sith being cut way short were major disappointments to me.

 

Lots of little things bothered me about Jedi. Boba Fett jobbing like a bitch, Lando piloting the Falcon, the Ewoks being even remotely on the same level as stormtroopers, Leia suddenly being in tune with the Force ("I know. Somehow I've always known."). Not to mention the tweaks Lucas made with the new releases (the dance routine, Anakin's Force ghost, etc.). Insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but I think it's the weakest of the old trilogy.

 

I think Vader's cry would've been better received if it was delivered with more anger and less despair. It was pretty clear at the start of the Vader/Obi Wan duel that he was just as interested in ruling the galaxy as he was in saving Padme.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Lando piloting the Falcon

Why?

[Slayer 0]

So who wants the task of explaining the clusterfuckalicious Expanded Universe to Ripper

[Ripper 0]

So who wants the task of explaining the clusterfuckalicious Expanded Universe to Ripper

 

Oh no dude. Fuck that. This is the end of my starwars experience. No Clone Wars cartoon, no new Clone Wars movie, no video games, none of that. I am done. 6 movies is enough.

 

And I think the cry was perfect. he thought he killed the love of his life. And it fit the Anakin's character. Sure, 20 years later(or however long the space was between sith and new hope, he would be a cold ass mean dude. But right then the most important thing to him was gone.

[Boon 0]

Lando piloting the Falcon

Why?

To me it'd be like somebody else wearing Indy's hat. It just doesn't fit. I get that they had to add some appeal to the ground battle so they stuck Han/Leia/Chewie down there and let the dogfight speak for itself. I guess I just never bought Han as a General or Lando as a fighter pilot, especially of the Falcon. It's a smuggler's ship equipped with weapons to get away, not to lead an assault on a battle station and a fleet of Star Destroyers and TIE fighters.

 

It doesn't bother me enough to not enjoy the movie, and I don't really have a suggestion to fix it. Just bugged me a bit.

 

So who wants the task of explaining the clusterfuckalicious Expanded Universe to Ripper

It's pretty simple. As long as you're willing to give Lucas his cut, you can write whatever the fuck you want about the rest of the universe.

 

Rip- the Clone War cartoons are really short and well-done, with some comical moments and allusions to the old trilogy. If you've had your fill of Star Wars, that's fine. But it's just a series of five minute cartoons. Not too daunting.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Well, the Falcon used to be Lando's ship, so I'm pretty sure he knows how to handle it.

[Boon 0]

My argument isn't that Lando doesn't know how to handle the Falcon, it's that I never bought A) Lando as a fighter pilot in the Falcon or

B) a smuggler's ship should be leading the assault in the biggest battle of the entire series.

 

We're splitting hairs over something I'm really not that bothered by, so I'll stop there.

[The Metal Maniac 0]

Rip- the Clone War cartoons are really short and well-done, with some comical moments and allusions to the old trilogy. If you've had your fill of Star Wars, that's fine. But it's just a series of five minute cartoons. Not too daunting.

 

Seriously, Clone Wars kicks ass. I can't fathom why the actual Clone War doesn't take place during the friggin' movies, but whatever. Mace Windu schooling an entire droid army is worth it.

[Slayer 0]

While I was going to crack about breaking out torches and pitchforks over Ripper's reviews, I do think his posts provide an interesting contemporary review of the movie without looking through nostalgic glasses

[The Metal Maniac 0]

Quite true. Honestly, I kinda wish he'd gone 1-6, just cuz I'm curious how someone who watched in that order would view the movies.

 

I found his take on Boba Fett was interesting. Just seems funny to me, someone who grew up just *knowing* how cool Boba Fett was, to hear someone else be like "That's Boba Fett? He didn't do shit!"

[Anakin Flair 0]

No way, dude. Prequel order of goodness is 3-2-1.

 

I'll agree that 3 was the best of the prequels- but 2 is my personal absolute worst. Aside from Portman looking hot and the Yoda lightsaber duel, the dialoge just KILLS this movie for me. Every time I watch it, I have to watch it with the commentary track. It's gotten to the point that I HAVE MEMORISED PARTS OF THE COMMENTARY. 'And comming up sitting on the right is the digital Yoda..."

 

1, for me, was a fun movie that I can tolerate. I didn't like Anakin as a kid, but hey, what can you do?

[Nightwing 0]

In 2, Obi-Wan and Anakin were just way too combative with each other. 3 had a great balance, but had them bickering endlessly, which was irritating.

 

I agree with Sith-Phantom-Clones.

 

Sith: It was like a 7.5 out of 10, almost an 8. It was great... after Palpatine was found out. The whole Kashyyyk thing was horrible and stupid, as it is completely out of nowhere and is basically something constructed to lure in fans. I can see how that meeting went:

 

"Okay, so we need to draw people into this movie. What could we do to totally freak fans out?"

 

"Wookies?"

 

"No..."

 

"More Yoda?"

 

"No..."

 

"Wookies... and Yoda?"

 

"... Dear God, that's genius!"

 

What point was there in showing Kashyyyk? Oh well. And Grevious, after being built up as a complete badass... is undone relatively easily, with most of his fight being a fucking chase. Of course, Anakin's turn (Which some people seemed to not understand and ripped, but I thought was one of the best done and deeply compelling features of the movie) was fantastic, and Order 66 was incredible and actually emotional. The fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan is also probably the best in the series, even better than Luke and Vader, simply for the built up emotion and watching them pull out all the stops. Along with Yoda and the Emperor duking it out (Which might be fanservice, but had a purpose), it was one hell of a trip to the end. The birthing scene was unconvincing, but you expect that from Portman at this point in the series. I didn't even mind the scream at the end.

 

Phantom: 6.5 out of 10. Watching it after getting away from the initial disappointment, it isn't nearly as bad as I remember it. There are two things that really, REALLY bring things down.

 

1) The age of certain characters. Come on, Lucas: An elected 14-year old queen? I know this is a spaceship movie, but I do have a limit on believability. They could have always started her off as a princess and THEN made her a queen, but I suppose that didn't come up. And Jake Lloyd should have been shot. That was a horrible, horrible performance even for a child. These people needed to be 16, 17 years old, maybe a little bit more. Ewan McGregor was 27, so you could put enough age between the two to get a believable "Master/Student" relationship just by looking at them. Yeah.

 

2) Too much shiny CG. Jar Jar can be included, though he wasn't that hard to tune out. But the CG in this movie just took me out of it. I love miniature work because it gets a more realistic texture, and most CG just comes off as too perfect or detailed.

 

But this movie had a lot of great characters. Padme was standable at the very least, and her bodyguard guy was kind of interesting (Though he was replaced with a similar looking, but different black guy in the second film. That was kind of odd.). But Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were incredible: I don't care about the continuity error, Liam Neeson was absolutely brilliant as a Jedi Master. Darth Maul was cool, and Sidious' mysterious entrance in this was perfect. Even the Trade Federation, despite being goofy, were decent villains. As an individual movie, it wasn't too bad, but in the series, it probably didn't do enough to set up future events.

 

Clones: 5 out of 10. This was horrible, and it even introduced a few cool characters. In particular, Dooku was great, and I didn't mind Jango too much, but I did mind basically annihilating Boba Fett's previous story. I liked that he, like Han, wasn't a part of this whole big Jedi deal and stood on their own. Obi-Wan and Anakin are WAY too catty and irritated with each other. I can understand a little bit of "student/master" competition, but it's just way too overplayed, as well as Anakin's thirst for power. No subtlety at all. I don't think I even need to mention much more about the Love plot save it absolutely blew. And while I liked the whole Asteroid thing, it isn't as good as the one in Empire, and almost devalues it as it was far denser and the characters didn't seem to have much a care about flying loops through it.

 

I thought the Clone battle sucked, and the Jedi Free-for-All wasn't that good either (Padme's whole thing on the chariot pretty much describes the crappiness of most of that scene). People walking across a giant PLAIN and firing at each other? With rapid-fire lasers? Anyone else see how that might be some sort of tactical error? It all felt tacked on, in the end, like it was supposed to make up for the lack of a story and plodding pace that the rest of the film had. In all honesty, the film needed more Dooku (Heck, they probably should have introduced him in Phantom to establish him as a sort of 'Outrider' kind of Jedi with a large political following) and it needed to get to the Clone War quicker. At the time it might have seemed better, but when the bitterness about Jar-Jar and Lloyd wears off, this film looks more and more like the worst of the bunch.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Nonsense. For 1 thing, everything w/ Jango Fett ruled hard.

 

Until he got killed off like a jobber.

[The Ghost of bps21 0]

You know what's always kinda irked me about the Star Wars movies?

 

alright...the first one comes out (episode 4) and it's breaking all this new ground in special effects and it's a pretty darn fun movie...

 

Then 3 years later...episode 5 comes out. And it's BAD ASS. And how does it end? Fucking worlds in peril, Han Solo frozen, Vader is Lukes father...and now Luke doesn't have a hand...

 

So people CAN NOT WAIT to see how this shit ends...and 3 years later...episode 6. And it's a pretty fun movie.

 

...

 

now we cut to this second trilogy.

 

...

 

And they tell you right off the bat that there will be 3 movies spaced 3 years apart. ...because they're so fucking special.

 

So Episode 1 comes out and it sucks. REALLY REALLY sucks. Jar Jar and Fish people who for some reason speak with Chinese accents, and special effects that are SOMEHOW inferior to what I remember on Star Wars or can see on TV now...

 

And they don't give you a reason to care that there's another movie coming out...let alone 2...

 

You're supposed to care about "how Anakin became Vader"... But you know what...that's just not how storytelling works. I've already seen the ending...and the beginning so far blows.

 

So 3 years later we get our sequel. Episode 2 isn't as bad as 1...but it's still the drizzling shits. And the fucking movie ends with no reason for me to care about the next movie (where they're REALLY going to show you how Anakin becomes Vader) but they know you're going to watch it anyway...

 

Then after another 3 Goddamned years Episode 3 comes out. And it's not a bad movie...but something tells me people in 1983 were MUCH more interested in Jedi (with Han in carbonyte and whatnot) than anyone was with seeing Hayden Christiansen crying about Obi Wan holding him back fall to the dark side.

 

I left episode 2 wondering when anything interesting was going to happen. I went into episode 3 just not caring anymore.

 

But George Lucas has my money...so he wins.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Kashyyyk was in Sith because Lucas wasn't able to do it in Jedi.

[hyperchord24 0]

Not that this answers any specific questions, but George Lucas can't write a movie. He can't write dialgue. He doesn't care about the Star Wars universe, he just wants to make his movies.

[JST 0]

He can't write dialgue.

 

 

 

[Guest Vitamin X]

1) The age of certain characters. Come on, Lucas: An elected 14-year old queen? I know this is a spaceship movie, but I do have a limit on believability. They could have always started her off as a princess and THEN made her a queen, but I suppose that didn't come up.

 

Well obviously, if you believe the racial undertones of Episode I, it's because she was white a human among blacks weird slave animals.

[Ripper 0]

I think Star Wars is a incredible overall story, just the actual writing should have been left to someone else. Because some of it was just horrible.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Ripper, think, after watching Episode IV, I, and II, that you could probably agree that Lucas is an awful, awful writer/director. I can't speak for III, because that's an aberration for him (but so is THX1138, for that matter) but he's best just leaving the directing and writing to someone else, while coming up with the basic story, special effects (which were industry-changing), and producing on his own.

[Conspiracy_Victim 0]

1) The age of certain characters. Come on, Lucas: An elected 14-year old queen? I know this is a spaceship movie, but I do have a limit on believability. They could have always started her off as a princess and THEN made her a queen, but I suppose that didn't come up.

 

Well obviously, if you believe the racial undertones of Episode I, it's because she was white a human among blacks weird slave animals.

 

Or it could have just been that the humans and Gungans were two separate nations, hence the Gungans living underwater away from the humans with their own leader who felt secure enough to basically ignore Portman until she acted in an appeasing manner. That's what I always though it was. I'm going to blame Lucas for the fuzzy political structure on Naboo.