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Posted

My @#$% cat woke me up at 7:30 this morning for no damn reason. I hate her. I can't go back to sleep. I hate her SO much.

Posted
I've pretty much trimmed the fat off my "friends" roster. Only hang out with three people now on a consistent basis. I didn't realize how many losers I hung around with until I evaluated my social life about a month ago.

 

Same thing with me, and I'm pretty terrible with a big crowd of people anyways. Also, there's an overwhelming amount of dumbasses where I live.

Guest Tzar Lysergic
Posted

Most of my old chums have done time in jail or worse, had children.

Posted

Does anybody else feel that good weather is somehow something to rejoice about? I have crammed more bike riding into the last two days than I did in the two years before them.

Posted

Yesterday at Target, I believe I encounted a beast even worse than the neckbeard

 

This kid, probably late-teens, had a huge double chin, and he had an Abe Lincoln beard, except instead of going around his real chin, it went down around the bulbous second chin, and it was all patchy and not thorough.

Posted

I think my cat just farted. Here's what I know: I'm in my room, the door is open, the cat is in the living room, I heard a fart noise, and my roommate's door is closed. Either she farted or there's a very inexperienced burglar in the other room. I hope he doesn't take my 360.

Posted

I miss Legos. I'd give anything (anything!) to have a nice, unassembled Lego castle or spaceship in front of me, waiting for my skilled hands to turn it into something wonderful. *sigh*

Posted
I miss Legos. I'd give anything (anything!) to have a nice, unassembled Lego castle or spaceship in front of me, waiting for my skilled hands to turn it into something wonderful. *sigh*

 

Dude, I just had the same feeling.

 

Of course, I smoked a couple bowls and I am drinking some beer for the first time in ages.

Posted

Well Hoff, I'm sure there's porn of her on the net.

Posted
YES~

At least you aren't masturbating to anime. Or furry porn.

 

For a long time,Rule 34 didn't break me. I'd thought I'd seen it all...Looney Toons, GI Joe, hell, even Transformers porn, and I didn't even bat an eyebrow. Then one day, a friend shows me something that he swore would break me. I laughed it up, and saw what it was.

 

It was Gay Fanfiction smut (I forgot what that subgenre is called, thank God) of the original Dawn of the Dead.

 

That broke me. That was the one piece of fan porn that broke me.

 

That's why I can't consider myself a part of any fandom ever again, because that means that someone will show me Vic and Dutch fucking.

 

Sometimes, I really hate the internet.

Guest Tzar Lysergic
Posted

I think the creepiest thing about that gay fanfiction stuff are the ones where the author portrays the two characters as truly being in love. That transcends sex fantasy. Kirk and Spock going out for a picnic and pushing each other on a swing and shit.

Posted

I also would have no problem fucking the women in those "Lower my Bills" ads.

 

The ones where they are dancing in front of a computer screen for some odd reason and then turn around, suprised that a camera is there.

 

There was a original one with this girl who looks like porn star Loni at the end, and then there was a second one with two women.

 

Yeah...advertising is the new porn.

Posted
I think the creepiest thing about that gay fanfiction stuff are the ones where the author portrays the two characters as truly being in love. That transcends sex fantasy. Kirk and Spock going out for a picnic and pushing each other on a swing and shit.

 

That's the problem, people just want dick-n-hole action... where the fuck is the love and romance you goddamn savages!

Posted

Oh hey, happy birthday to both ABOBO and Matt Young's cat.

 

EDIT: And to Celtic Guardian, but I think he's an actual poster.

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