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Posted
I saw a homeless person the other day. I think I want to have unclean sex with him.

 

I was driving home from work one day a few years ago and was sitting at a red light a couple of blocks from my apartment. There was a homeless lady standing on the corner holding a sign that said "Hungry."

 

I rolled down the window and said I'd take her to my place and cook her a meal if she gave me a blowjob.

 

and?

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Posted

She stared at me for a moment and then said she could do it if I fed her and drove her to the nearby shelter later so she could sleep there.

 

I said, "Ha ha, no thanks. I was just joking. I don't want your nasty lips on my dick."

 

She flipped me off and then turned to panhandle the car behind me.

 

She actually wasn't half bad looking...but I mean, come on. Who knows where she's been?

Posted

Yeah. It would have been better if she just blew you and you didn't end up cooking for her.

 

A better way to deal with the homeless is when you see these bums standing in front of a McDonald's or similar store asking for money, you hand them either a job application for that place they're loitering at or a newspaper's want ads...

Posted
And you found that funny?

In a "ha ha" way, yes. I wasn't ROTFLMAO all evening or anything.

 

I had a bad experience with a bum not long before that where my ex and I were going to Wendy's and a guy outside was asking for money so he could eat. So we bought him a combo meal (even though he kept insisting that we give him money instead) that he took about three bites out of before tossing it in the garbage, walking out of the place, getting in a car, and driving off.

 

I've been pretty unsympathetic to beggars since that day. One of my rare humanitarian moments...and that fucker pulled that shit.

  • 1 year later...
Guest Eagle Man
Posted
If you see me online, don't talk to me. I don't even want to know you exist. I used to consider you a friend, but you're dead to me now.
Posted
I got halfway through page 2 before realising this was from two years ago.

same here

 

and in that pic I totally got the mic, about to drop a hot verse.

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