Why the fuck shouldn't zombies run?

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Yes, they're scarier...if you have ADD and fall for the same jump scares in every single horror movie ever made. Slower moving zombies TRICK you. They make you go "oh, I can just jog away from them, I'll be fine," but by the time you get a safe distance away from one group, another pops up. "Oh, I can keep jogging." Another group. And another. Soon enough, a mass armada has surrounded you, and you know that you are FUCKED to a slow and painful death because they're clawing at you, ripping you apart, biting chunks off of your arm and neck...

 

Make sense yet? Slower moving zombies also aid to the true horror of the zombie films that you're obviously not seeing: we COULD take care of the big problem, but we're so focused on our individual problems with one another to do it. Racism, classism, sexism...that's what the GREAT zombie films are really about. Not about "hey, here's a slow-moving dead guy coming my way, so I'll shoot it in the head." If you want cheap scares, go watch Dawn '04 (which I feel bad about saying, because I do LOVE that movie), but if you want a zombie flick that actually has something to say while ALSO being scary at parts? Check out a Romero flick and be educated.

 

EDIT: Ripper, I agree. FRESH zombies should be able to pop and run, just like

Sarah Polly's husband in

Dawn '04 did when he turned

. I'd like a zombie movie to do that, at some point: the recently turned are fast-moving, brutal...but a couple hours later, rigormortis sets in, so they're practically immobile. When it breaks out a few hours after that, they're your average slow-moving psychological scare zombies due to muscle atrophy.

[dubq 0]

*ding ding ding* we have a winner!

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Vivi, you and I should get together sometime and write a zombie script.

[dubq 0]

Hell yes!

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

You, me, Satanico and lovecraft as editors...it'd be TEH RULE.

[Ripper 0]

Whoa whoa whoa. Dawn 04' didn't rely on cheap scares. It even had SOME of the same messages as the original down (the consumer driven society) but i can't really call any of its scares cheap.

[Guest Fishyswa]

"^^^ Jesus - the whole point is people letting their guard down. "Oh, they're not scary because they're slow." But wait til you fuck up and get surround by a horde of them. Slow don't matter much when you can't move in any direction."

 

I'd be scared if a horde of anything slowly surrounded me. So why does it have to be a zombie trait? Being trapped is being trapped, it has nothing to do with how scary the zombies are.

 

"..also, some fast moving blur certainly isn't as scary as a slow, methodical zombie that you know is a walking corpse."

 

Sure it is. You can't run from one really fast zombie, but you can run from one super slow zombie. Individually it makes them more frightening, it gives the fear a greater sense of urgency.

 

" Yes, they're scarier...if you have ADD and fall for the same jump scares in every single horror movie ever made. Slower moving zombies TRICK you. They make you go "oh, I can just jog away from them, I'll be fine," but by the time you get a safe distance away from one group, another pops up. "Oh, I can keep jogging." Another group. And another. Soon enough, a mass armada has surrounded you, and you know that you are FUCKED to a slow and painful death because they're clawing at you, ripping you apart, biting chunks off of your arm and neck..."

 

So they're only scary in mass numbers? That's my entire point. Mass groups of ANYTHING surrounding you will scare a person, zombies should be scary on there own.

 

"Make sense yet?"

 

No, and I have a feeling the rest of your post isn't gonna help.

 

"Slower moving zombies also aid to the true horror of the zombie films that you're obviously not seeing: we COULD take care of the big problem, but we're so focused on our individual problems with one another to do it."

 

Yeah and you can't do the same with fast zombies....

 

"Racism, classism, sexism...that's what the GREAT zombie films are really about."

 

Yeah because when I go to see a zombie movie, I want a lesson in the follies of our society, not zombies....

 

"Not about "hey, here's a slow-moving dead guy coming my way, so I'll shoot it in the head." If you want cheap scares, go watch Dawn '04 (which I feel bad about saying, because I do LOVE that movie), but if you want a zombie flick that actually has something to say while ALSO being scary at parts? Check out a Romero flick and be educated."

 

Educated on what, a type of movie I have no interest in seeing?

 

 

The entire idea that it takes an "armada" of slow moving zombies to be a real threat proves the point I'm trying to make, individually, AND in groups, faster zombies are scarier.

[dubq 0]

"..also, some fast moving blur certainly isn't as scary as a slow, methodical zombie that you know is a walking corpse."

 

Sure it is. You can't run from one really fast zombie, but you can run from one super slow zombie. Individually it makes them more frightening, it gives the fear a greater sense of urgency.

 

You missed the point. I mean that at least with the slow moving zombies you can tell what they are. Not some blurry speed of light runner attacking you and you're dead before you have the chance to even try to be scared of it.

 

And anyone who isn't freaked out by a lone WALKING DEAD CORPSE already has something wrong with them mentally anyway.

[Guest Fishyswa]

"You missed the point. I mean that at least with the slow moving zombies you can tell what they are. Not some blurry speed of light runner attacking you and you're dead before you have the chance to even try to be scared of it."

 

What does it matter? It's not like you literally can't see them, they just go really fast. Once you see some bloody, mis-colored guy running at you shreaking, you know it's time to move.

 

"And anyone who isn't freaked out by a lone WALKING DEAD CORPSE already has something wrong with them mentally anyway."

 

Initially, maybe, but you can't make a movie off 1 scare. Once you realize it's an already dead guy moving 1mph because he's decaying, you won't feel too threatened. I just don't see how something dying, too weak to move more than 1mph is supposed to be scary because he wants my brains. Mosquito's want my blood, but I'm not too scared of them considering I could take out 14 with one hand.

[Sass 0]

28 Days Later had it right. The Virus infected everyone but they could still run since they weren't quite dead (yet). As time went on, along with a lack of food, the bodies broke down and soon they slowed down and later withered away. The fast moving and slow moving zombies all serve a relevent purpose: eat and kill.

 

Zombies should be fast at first bite but they should be slow if they're re-animated dead people (like, it takes days for them to come back) or else if they've been around for a while and haven't eaten fresh flesh.

[The Metal Maniac 0]

I just don't see how something dying, too weak to move more than 1mph is supposed to be scary because he wants my brains.

 

Because all he needs to do is find one stupid person and bite them. Then they're a zombie. Then, those two zombies just have to find two more stupid people, and now there's four zombies. 4 becomes 8, 8 becomes 64, etc.

 

It's scary because they cannot be stopped. As long as they manage to...uh...."breed" fast enough, there's not really much you can do to stop them. And now there's a million zombies who want to eat your brains. That's the scary part.

 

http://zombies.insertdisc.com/mattcordes/

 

Check that link out; it demonstrates exactly what I'm talking about, though you may have to start it a few times to get it going; sometimes the first zombie or two gets killed and the whole thing stops, but once they get past a certain number...whooo boy.

[Guest Fishyswa]

But that's not what makes a zombie scary, that's what makes a lot of zombies scary. A lot of bee's are scary, but I don't shit my pants every time I see one.

[Guest El Satanico]

some blurry speed of light runner attacking you and you're dead before you have the chance to even try to be scared of it

That's a good point

 

Fast zombies would be less scary because their attacks are so much quicker that you wouldn't have time to be scared. You'd either die quick or go into survival mode running for your life and filled with too much adrenaline to be scared.

 

A slow expected death would be worse than a quick unexpected death.

 

Fast or slow, zombies are truly only scary when in groups. Slow single zombies are easily avoided and Fast single zombies put you in an adrenaline fueled survivor mode. However, when you put either type in a group, it becomes a whole different scary as hell thing.

 

 

 

A script by TSM's resident "Zombie-Freaks" would have to also include dynamite kido.

[Guest Fishyswa]

What does fear do? Raise adrenaline, makes things seem like there going faster, if you fear for your life, you already are in survival mode. No one's talking about speed of light zombies, we're talking about zombies that don't waddle to who they plan on killing.

 

One fast zombie is scarier than 10 slow zombies.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Uhhh...no. Because it's still just ONE fast zombie. It'd be like 10 men wanting to kill you, but each of them only have one leg, against ONE man wanting to kill you, and he's a Kenyan sprinter. The numbers game ALWAYS makes it scary.

 

And, again, it's the knowledge of impending doom that makes the slower zombies scary. You know they're going to get to you...eventually. You know you don't have a chance...in a few seconds. You know your stomach is going to get ripped open...since they're slowly tearing your flesh apart. Notice how AGONIZING the deaths are in movies with slow zombies. Then notice how QUICK they are in movies with fast zombies.

 

THAT makes a slow zombie scarier. They tear you apart and eat you SLOWLY, PAINFULLY. A fast zombie just rips your heart out and eats you guts within a few seconds.

 

Also, if you have no want or desire to see the DEFINITIVE zombie films...THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING EVEN TRYING TO FUCKING TALK ZOMBIES WITH THE ZOMBIE EXPERTS OF TSM?!

 

EDIT:

Ripper, Dawn '04 didn't rely TOTALLY on cheap scares, but almost all of the scares in the move were cheap pop-up scares. Little girl? Check. Guy that checks on her when she's behind the bus? Check. First zombie encountered at the mall? Check. Janitor? Check. Glass door zombie? Check. Parking garage attack? Check. STEVE? Check.

 

The only "good" scares in the movie were cheap ones, since everything else was action/comedy.

[Guest Fishyswa]

"Uhhh...no. Because it's still just ONE fast zombie. It'd be like 10 men wanting to kill you, but each of them only have one leg, against ONE man wanting to kill you, and he's a Kenyan sprinter. The numbers game ALWAYS makes it scary."

 

So then the zombie alone isn't scary. The zombie can be replaced by floating sticks that beat people and it would be just as scary. K...

 

"And, again, it's the knowledge of impending doom that makes the slower zombies scary. You know they're going to get to you...eventually."

 

What's eventually? Fast zombies will get you eventually to, just sooner than later. You would actually have to put effort into escaping from a fast zombie. You'd be in a greater sense of panic, and the fear would be greater.

 

"You know you don't have a chance...in a few seconds. You know your stomach is going to get ripped open...since they're slowly tearing your flesh apart. Notice how AGONIZING the deaths are in movies with slow zombies. Then notice how QUICK they are in movies with fast zombies."

 

Your dying the same way, with faster zombies it's more plausible. These guys can't exert enough physical energy to run, how tough are they gonna be? How are they just gonna tear into you if they can't move more than 10mph because there legs would fall apart?

 

"THAT makes a slow zombie scarier. They tear you apart and eat you SLOWLY, PAINFULLY. A fast zombie just rips your heart out and eats you guts within a few seconds."

 

What do they do, pull your heart out slowly? Once your heart comes out, you're dead, once someone sticks a hand in your brains, you're dead, it doesn't matter if it takes 4 seconds to get there or 3 minutes, once a hearts out or a brains getting eaten, you're dead.

 

"Also, if you have no want or desire to see the DEFINITIVE zombie films...THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING EVEN TRYING TO FUCKING TALK ZOMBIES WITH THE ZOMBIE EXPERTS OF TSM?!"

 

A zombie expert? Are you serious? I've seen some zombie movies, I was interested in the discussion, I wasn't aware to have an opinion I needed to see every zombie movie ever made....

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

"Uhhh...no. Because it's still just ONE fast zombie. It'd be like 10 men wanting to kill you, but each of them only have one leg, against ONE man wanting to kill you, and he's a Kenyan sprinter. The numbers game ALWAYS makes it scary."

 

So then the zombie alone isn't scary. The zombie can be replaced by floating sticks that beat people and it would be just as scary. K...

No, the zombie itself IS scary, because it's the WALKING FUCKING DEAD THAT'S GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE.

"And, again, it's the knowledge of impending doom that makes the slower zombies scary. You know they're going to get to you...eventually."

 

What's eventually? Fast zombies will get you eventually to, just sooner than later. You would actually have to put effort into escaping from a fast zombie. You'd be in a greater sense of panic, and the fear would be greater.

"Eventually" is when they get to you. The fear wouldn't be greater from a fast zombie, though, because the atmosphere build to it getting you wouldn't be fully achieved. Let's equate this to a wrestling match:

-Ric Flair is reaching for the ropes while caught in Kurt Angle's AnkleLock. He's reaching for the ropes, within reach, but he's not getting it because of the pain of the AnkeLock. Finally, after what may seem like minutes but is actually only 10-15 seconds, he grabs the rope, and the hold is broken.

-Ric Flair is locked into Kurt Angle's AnkleLock, sees the bottom rope, and grabs it within 2 seconds.

Which is more dramatic? The one where you have the characters toying with you about whether or not the inevitable is going to happen (Ric taking 15 seconds to get to the rope within reach = slow-moving zombies coming towards our heroes), or the one where the character just does what you think might happen (Ric taking 2 seconds to get to the rope within reach = fast moving zombies bombarding our heroes)?

"You know you don't have a chance...in a few seconds. You know your stomach is going to get ripped open...since they're slowly tearing your flesh apart. Notice how AGONIZING the deaths are in movies with slow zombies. Then notice how QUICK they are in movies with fast zombies."

 

Your dying the same way, with faster zombies it's more plausible. These guys can't exert enough physical energy to run, how tough are they gonna be? How are they just gonna tear into you if they can't move more than 10mph because there legs would fall apart?

It's not that they can't exert the physical energy to run, it's that they don't HAVE the physical energy to run. They're still just as strong as living human beings, but not as fast, and they can't feel pain. And they'll tear into you because you'll be running from one group and another group will sneak up behind you, or they'll all circle around you and close in, and then you're fucked. They'd slowly, meticulously, rip you limb from limb so that you could see every tendon snapping as they rip off your arm, every inch of your intestines slowly being pulled out of your naval and passed around like stuffing at the Thanksgiving table. And THAT'S NOT SCARY?! The knowledge that you are suffering from so much pain but it's not going to end soon?

"THAT makes a slow zombie scarier. They tear you apart and eat you SLOWLY, PAINFULLY. A fast zombie just rips your heart out and eats you guts within a few seconds."

 

What do they do, pull your heart out slowly? Once your heart comes out, you're dead, once someone sticks a hand in your brains, you're dead, it doesn't matter if it takes 4 seconds to get there or 3 minutes, once a hearts out or a brains getting eaten, you're dead.

It was more or less me taking an organ and throwing it in there for descriptive purposes. A slow zombie tears you apart slowly. A fast one does so quickly. Here's another example:

-Take a steak knife that's sharp enough to cut through your flesh without TOO much hassle, but dull enough to leave a wide open gash. Now, cut a 5-inch line across your thigh, taking 2 seconds per inch.

-Take that same steak knife, and cut another 5-inch line across your OTHER thigh, with the whole cut taking 2 seconds.

Which will hurt more: the one that happens quickly, or the slower one?

Again, that's what makes a slower zombie more effective: they rip you apart, eat you, SLOWLY. Fast zombies do it quickly so you die with less pain than when a slow zombie gets you.

"Also, if you have no want or desire to see the DEFINITIVE zombie films...THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING EVEN TRYING TO FUCKING TALK ZOMBIES WITH THE ZOMBIE EXPERTS OF TSM?!"

 

A zombie expert? Are you serious? I've seen some zombie movies, I was interested in the discussion, I wasn't aware to have an opinion I needed to see every zombie movie ever made....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Never said you had to be an expert to share your opinion. Just said that if you're completely throwing out THE zombie movies (Romero's films, which you said you didn't care to see) and claiming that fast zombies are scarier with no real argument besides "I can outrun a slow zombie, but a fast zombie would catch up to me no problem," then you're being ignorant, bringing little to nothing to this conversation, and have no real point in being here other than stirring up an argument amongst those that you know that are connoiseurs of zombie films.

 

And, as connoiseurs of this style of horror, which you admittedly said you aren't, I do believe that would entail that we have much more knowledge on the subject than you? So stop trying to win an argument that you have no real possibility of winning, troll.

[Guest Fishyswa]

"No, the zombie itself IS scary, because it's the WALKING FUCKING DEAD THAT'S GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE."

 

Moving slower than shit. I could run up and jump kick it's head, it wouldn't have the reaction time to stop me. Infact it would be so weak, it's head would come off. That's not scary to anyone who considers defending themselves when their life is threatened.

 

""Eventually" is when they get to you. The fear wouldn't be greater from a fast zombie, though, because the atmosphere build to it getting you wouldn't be fully achieved. Let's equate this to a wrestling match:"

 

Let's not, how long does it take to build an atmosphere of "you're going to die". The second it's made clear a persons life is in danger that atmosphere is set. Your analogy is irrelevant, because it's toying with the possibility of death, not presenting it as a possibility. A better analogy would be Angle taking 15 minutes to apply the ankle lock or him slapping it right on. I'll take instantly.

 

"It's not that they can't exert the physical energy to run, it's that they don't HAVE the physical energy to run. They're still just as strong as living human beings,"

 

How is that possible? Strength is based on energy, if they have no energy, they have no strength. My muscles could be huge, if there's nothing making them work, they're useless.

 

"but not as fast, and they can't feel pain. And they'll tear into you because you'll be running from one group and another group will sneak up behind you, or they'll all circle around you and close in, and then you're fucked."

 

Where do they get the strength to tear humans apart? A normal human couldn't just start tearing into the flesh of another person, how can a dead one? Is it the nails that keep growing? Biting doesn't work because realistically the bones and muscles wouldn't be strong enough. If they can only go about 1mph do to all there strength issues, how can they chomp hard enough to get through all that protection? They go after brains right? Cranium doesn't exactly melt in your mouth. Maybe I'm just having trouble applying logic to an idea as generally impossible as zombies, but I still don't see the fear in some decaying corpse that's magically walking 1mph.

 

"They'd slowly, meticulously, rip you limb from limb so that you could see every tendon snapping as they rip off your arm, every inch of your intestines slowly being pulled out of your naval and passed around like stuffing at the Thanksgiving table."

 

How the hell could they do that? A normal human isn't strong enough to rip another limb from limb, how could they? They aren't tough enough to out race a turtle but they could just pull you apart like a poorly sewn ragdoll?

 

"And THAT'S NOT SCARY?!"

 

Yeah it would be if it could happen. But it can't.

 

"The knowledge that you are suffering from so much pain but it's not going to end soon?"

 

How does this apply? This is what happens when it has you in complete control, and you admittedly say it's not likely unless there's many. So what makes the one guy alone coming at you 1mph scary? That's what I'm not getting.

 

"It was more or less me taking an organ and throwing it in there for descriptive purposes. A slow zombie tears you apart slowly. A fast one does so quickly. Here's another example:

-Take a steak knife that's sharp enough to cut through your flesh without TOO much hassle, but dull enough to leave a wide open gash. Now, cut a 5-inch line across your thigh, taking 2 seconds per inch.

-Take that same steak knife, and cut another 5-inch line across your OTHER thigh, with the whole cut taking 2 seconds.

Which will hurt more: the one that happens quickly, or the slower one?

Again, that's what makes a slower zombie more effective: they rip you apart, eat you, SLOWLY. Fast zombies do it quickly so you die with less pain than when a slow zombie gets you."

 

Yeah, and a 5 pounds box of feathers weighs less than a 5 pound box of steel. It hurts the same, one just hurts for longer. This still doesn't answer the question of what's scary about the zombie. A regular human could slowly eat me too, why is it scarier when a slow zombie does it? Because he looks like shit?

 

"Never said you had to be an expert to share your opinion. Just said that if you're completely throwing out THE zombie movies (Romero's films, which you said you didn't care to see)"

 

When did I throw them out? I've seen a few before when I was younger, they didn't really scare me, I never gave them a second look.

 

"and claiming that fast zombies are scarier with no real argument besides "I can outrun a slow zombie, but a fast zombie would catch up to me no problem,""

 

What makes it not a "real arguement". It's about which are scarier. Fast zombies are scarier because they're actually physically imposing. Do tell how thats "a fake arguement".

 

"then you're being ignorant,"

 

To what?

 

"bringing little to nothing to this conversation,"

 

What have I failed to bring? Please tell me.

 

"and have no real point in being here other than stirring up an argument amongst those that you know that are connoiseurs of zombie films."

 

Are you serious? How the fuck am I supposed to know you guys are obsessed with zombie shit, and why the fuck would that stop me from replying to a thread I have an opinion on? Come back to reality please, it'd be best if we discussed this in it...

 

"And, as connoiseurs of this style of horror, which you admittedly said you aren't, I do believe that would entail that we have much more knowledge on the subject than you?"

 

Apparently not.

 

"So stop trying to win an argument that you have no real possibility of winning, troll."

 

Now I'm a troll, and this is some sort of contest?! Is that some sort of last defense mechanism when you feel you're not making a point? This is becoming a joke.....

[Nighthawk 0]

God damn...

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

"No, the zombie itself IS scary, because it's the WALKING FUCKING DEAD THAT'S GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE."

 

Moving slower than shit. I could run up and jump kick it's head, it wouldn't have the reaction time to stop me. Infact it would be so weak, it's head would come off. That's not scary to anyone who considers defending themselves when their life is threatened.

Actually, the head coming off would depend purely on the level of decomposition. The further decomposed zombies are nothing, but the fresh ones and the ones right after rigormortis breaks out? Just another human body moving slower due to not having the coordination skills to run.

""Eventually" is when they get to you. The fear wouldn't be greater from a fast zombie, though, because the atmosphere build to it getting you wouldn't be fully achieved. Let's equate this to a wrestling match:"

 

Let's not, how long does it take to build an atmosphere of "you're going to die". The second it's made clear a persons life is in danger that atmosphere is set. Your analogy is irrelevant, because it's toying with the possibility of death, not presenting it as a possibility. A better analogy would be Angle taking 15 minutes to apply the ankle lock or him slapping it right on. I'll take instantly.

So you take instant gratification as opposed to build-up. Interesting. I suppose you also preferred XXX over Die Hard?

"It's not that they can't exert the physical energy to run, it's that they don't HAVE the physical energy to run. They're still just as strong as living human beings,"

 

How is that possible? Strength is based on energy, if they have no energy, they have no strength. My muscles could be huge, if there's nothing making them work, they're useless.

They're still as strong as a living human because they can still throw their weight into lifting/pushing something. They lack the ability to move fast due to lowered motor skills, and also having the whole rigormortis thing setting into their legs. Even when it breaks out, the movements are still going to be stiff, but the strength isn't going to disappear just because the muslces have hardened.

"but not as fast, and they can't feel pain. And they'll tear into you because you'll be running from one group and another group will sneak up behind you, or they'll all circle around you and close in, and then you're fucked."

 

Where do they get the strength to tear humans apart? A normal human couldn't just start tearing into the flesh of another person, how can a dead one? Is it the nails that keep growing? Biting doesn't work because realistically the bones and muscles wouldn't be strong enough. If they can only go about 1mph do to all there strength issues, how can they chomp hard enough to get through all that protection? They go after brains right? Cranium doesn't exactly melt in your mouth. Maybe I'm just having trouble applying logic to an idea as generally impossible as zombies, but I still don't see the fear in some decaying corpse that's magically walking 1mph.

Where do they get the strength to tear humans apart? Groups of them do it. If three men, all of average height, weight, and strength, were to try to tear you apart, they could. So why couldn't a group of 5 or even 6 zombies? And no, zombies don't go after brains. That's something said in the parody zombie classic known as Return of the Living Dead. They simply go after warm flesh due to their minds resorting back to the primitive survival stage.

"They'd slowly, meticulously, rip you limb from limb so that you could see every tendon snapping as they rip off your arm, every inch of your intestines slowly being pulled out of your naval and passed around like stuffing at the Thanksgiving table."

 

How the hell could they do that? A normal human isn't strong enough to rip another limb from limb, how could they? They aren't tough enough to out race a turtle but they could just pull you apart like a poorly sewn ragdoll?

See above. Strength in numbers, dig?

"And THAT'S NOT SCARY?!"

 

Yeah it would be if it could happen. But it can't.

So you're telling me that it's physically impossible for a group of LIVING men to rip somebody apart limb from limb? Since I explained why zombies are just as strong as the living but lack the speed (rigormortis causing muscles to stiffen), why would it not be possible for them?

Also, since the living dead DON'T REALLY EXIST, I don't think that "it'd be scary if it was possible, but it's not" is a fair argument when we're talking FICTION.

"The knowledge that you are suffering from so much pain but it's not going to end soon?"

 

How does this apply? This is what happens when it has you in complete control, and you admittedly say it's not likely unless there's many. So what makes the one guy alone coming at you 1mph scary? That's what I'm not getting.

The same thing that makes the one guy coming at you at 10 mph scary: that they're dead, they can move, and they want to eat you. Are you saying it'd be impossible to handle ONE fast zombie? It's been proven already that it's not much harder than handling a living human being. But given how fast the infection spreads, humanity's overall emotional attachment to our loved ones, and our inability to deal with the MAJOR problems until it's too late...why are fast zombies any scarier than slow zombies?

"It was more or less me taking an organ and throwing it in there for descriptive purposes. A slow zombie tears you apart slowly. A fast one does so quickly. Here's another example:

-Take a steak knife that's sharp enough to cut through your flesh without TOO much hassle, but dull enough to leave a wide open gash. Now, cut a 5-inch line across your thigh, taking 2 seconds per inch.

-Take that same steak knife, and cut another 5-inch line across your OTHER thigh, with the whole cut taking 2 seconds.

Which will hurt more: the one that happens quickly, or the slower one?

Again, that's what makes a slower zombie more effective: they rip you apart, eat you, SLOWLY. Fast zombies do it quickly so you die with less pain than when a slow zombie gets you."

 

Yeah, and a 5 pounds box of feathers weighs less than a 5 pound box of steel. It hurts the same, one just hurts for longer. This still doesn't answer the question of what's scary about the zombie. A regular human could slowly eat me too, why is it scarier when a slow zombie does it? Because he looks like shit?

Because he's DEAD, duh. I can guarantee you that if you walked into a cemetery at night and saw somebody slowly rising from a shallow grave, you'd piss yourself and probably stand there in shock.

"Never said you had to be an expert to share your opinion. Just said that if you're completely throwing out THE zombie movies (Romero's films, which you said you didn't care to see)"

 

When did I throw them out? I've seen a few before when I was younger, they didn't really scare me, I never gave them a second look.

When did you throw them out? Hrmmm, let's see...

"Not about "hey, here's a slow-moving dead guy coming my way, so I'll shoot it in the head." If you want cheap scares, go watch Dawn '04 (which I feel bad about saying, because I do LOVE that movie), but if you want a zombie flick that actually has something to say while ALSO being scary at parts? Check out a Romero flick and be educated."

 

Educated on what, a type of movie I have no interest in seeing?

By saying you have no interest in seeing what almost every zomibe fan calls the epitome of zombie celluloid, you're throwing them out as if they don't matter, when the rules of the "living dead" zombies come DIRECTLY from his films.

"and claiming that fast zombies are scarier with no real argument besides "I can outrun a slow zombie, but a fast zombie would catch up to me no problem,""

 

What makes it not a "real arguement". It's about which are scarier. Fast zombies are scarier because they're actually physically imposing. Do tell how thats "a fake arguement".

It's not a real argument because you're saying something happening quickly so that you can barely realize it's happened is scarier than something you know is going to happen and can do very little about...without elaborating. I've elaborated on the whole point "slow and painful is scarier than fast" in every post, and you've just said "I could outrun a slow zombie, or kick it in the head, but a fast one could catch up to me." Come up with a REASON why a fast zombie is scarier other than the fact that they can run with the fastest living humans. Because, after all...you get into a car and a fast zombie ain't shit since they can't catch up to you then.

"then you're being ignorant,"

 

To what?

To the whole zombie universe.

"bringing little to nothing to this conversation,"

 

What have I failed to bring? Please tell me.

A real reason why one fast zombie is scarier than one slow zombie.

"and have no real point in being here other than stirring up an argument amongst those that you know that are connoiseurs of zombie films."

 

Are you serious? How the fuck am I supposed to know you guys are obsessed with zombie shit, and why the fuck would that stop me from replying to a thread I have an opinion on? Come back to reality please, it'd be best if we discussed this in it...

...the fact that any thread involving any talk of zombies has the people you're arguing with in THIS thread pretty much controlling all aspects of the conversation should be a dead giveaway that we're zombie connoiseurs. That and, you know, most of us having something zombie related as either our avatar or in our signature. And I'm not saying it should stop you from replying, I'm saying it should warn you that making an ass out of yourself in a discussion with any of us is a bad idea, because you're just going to be out-argued, out-debated, and overall OWNED by each and every one of us since we know what the hell we're talking about.

"And, as connoiseurs of this style of horror, which you admittedly said you aren't, I do believe that would entail that we have much more knowledge on the subject than you?"

 

Apparently not.

Right. Because I've been watching zombie films for the past 14 years, have seen the best of the best and the worst of the worst, and studied what makes certain zombies work in films and what makes others not work because I actually want to make a zombie film one day, you obviously know more about the topic than me after watching Dawn '04 one night with your friends as you pass a bowl and laugh as they play Hollywood Squares.

"So stop trying to win an argument that you have no real possibility of winning, troll."

 

Now I'm a troll, and this is some sort of contest?! Is that some sort of last defense mechanism when you feel you're not making a point? This is becoming a joke.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, you're a troll because it's becoming more and more obvious that you're just trying to instigate a flamewar since you're arguing the same points over and over without any real insight into anything, and whenever somebody brings up some VALID reasoning, you dismiss it by saying "well, zombies aren't real anyway."

 

We know zombies aren't real, but in the zombie realm of fiction, certain guidelines apply, and fast zombies not being as scary (because of the fact that they'll kill you quickly) as slow zombies (since they'll SLOWLY, PAINFULLY eat you as you scream in utter horror, and chances are you'll know half of them from some point in your life) is basically one of them. The people that make zombie movies sit down and think about whether or not their zombies should be slow or fast, and the only logical explanation for a fast one comes from Zach Snyder when he said "they can't feel pain, so they'd keep running until their feet fell off, and then they'd run on the stumps."

[I like Forums 0]

Fishyswa.... try and kick a zombie in the head... did you forget that you're risking its mouth digging into your leg in the slightest way and making you enevitably a stupid slow mindless zombie yourself?!

[dubq 0]

Seriously, this guy just keeps saying the same shit over and over again. I almost feel like I'm being baited into something because it's just too overly ridiculous.

 

I'm not going to sit here arguing with a wall over why a cheap scare tactic [so cheap that I wouldn't be surprised if someone told me that it was originally an Uwe Boll idea] isn't as satisfying [or scary] as the original, methodical and well thought out predecessor.

 

If you're not willing to even see the definitive zombie flicks then you have no right to voice an 'opinion' on what is scarier. End of story.

[dubq 0]

A script by TSM's resident "Zombie-Freaks" would have to also include dynamite kido.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Seconded!

[dubq 0]

Edit: dbl post..

[Guest Fishyswa]

"Actually, the head coming off would depend purely on the level of decomposition. The further decomposed zombies are nothing, but the fresh ones and the ones right after rigormortis breaks out? Just another human body moving slower due to not having the coordination skills to run."

 

Why would it have the coordination to walk and attack but not run? That makes no sense.

 

"So you take instant gratification as opposed to build-up. Interesting. I suppose you also preferred XXX over Die Hard?"

 

I'm sorry, where did I say I take instant gratification over build up? You were talking about setting an atmosphere, that atmosphere is set instantly, you don't build up to it.

 

"They're still as strong as a living human because they can still throw their weight into lifting/pushing something. They lack the ability to move fast due to lowered motor skills,"

 

So zombies are just stoned people. Right....

 

"and also having the whole rigormortis thing setting into their legs."

 

So it's a leg exclusive thing? Yeah....

 

"Even when it breaks out, the movements are still going to be stiff, but the strength isn't going to disappear just because the muslces have hardened."

 

THERE'S NO ENERGY. Without energy muscles don't work.

 

"Where do they get the strength to tear humans apart? Groups of them do it."

 

So again, slow zombies aren't scary unless in large groups. K.

 

"If three men, all of average height, weight, and strength, were to try to tear you apart, they could."

 

No, they couldn't. Maybe two big guys pulling on both my arms with all there might, but even then the force of my resistance alone would prevent it. That's one situation with big guys that's unlikely anyway.

 

"So why couldn't a group of 5 or even 6 zombies?"

 

Because humans couldn't, and zombies are weaker than humans. It's pretty easy logic.

 

"And no, zombies don't go after brains. That's something said in the parody zombie classic known as Return of the Living Dead. They simply go after warm flesh due to their minds resorting back to the primitive survival stage."

 

My mistake, although you'd think something in 'primitive survival stage' would be moving a bit faster in order to you know, survive.

 

"See above. Strength in numbers, dig?"

 

Humans have strength in numbers, what makes one slow zombie scary. That's what's being debated here, incase you missed it.

 

"So you're telling me that it's physically impossible for a group of LIVING men to rip somebody apart limb from limb?"

 

ME limb from limb. Maybe a small feeble child or an old man, but me? Hell no. I've been tugged on pretty fucking hard by a large, large guy and the worst that's happened is my shoulder dislocated.

 

"Since I explained why zombies are just as strong as the living but lack the speed (rigormortis causing muscles to stiffen),"

 

Oh no you haven't. I'm not buying rigormortis only affects the leg or muscles work without energy.

 

"why would it not be possible for them?"

 

That's easy to answer.

 

"Also, since the living dead DON'T REALLY EXIST,"

 

I had no idea....

 

"I don't think that "it'd be scary if it was possible, but it's not" is a fair argument when we're talking FICTION."

 

Ok so then when the zombies come I'll use my super human strength to pick up a tree and swing it like a baseball bat until I've homered them all out of town. All fiction is based on some reality, if we're gonna be debating the logic behind which is scarier, I think it's expected to come into play.

 

"The same thing that makes the one guy coming at you at 10 mph scary: that they're dead, they can move, and they want to eat you."

 

Well if he's too decayed to move slower than a slug he's not exactly putting me in a panic. If an old man comes towards me with his walker going 1mph swinging his cane, what am I supposed to be scared of? If that old man comes sprinting towards me in a rage I'd have to react instantly, in a panic. Hence the whole fear thing.

 

"Are you saying it'd be impossible to handle ONE fast zombie?"

 

No, I'm saying it'd be scarier. Should be really obvious by now...

 

"It's been proven already that it's not much harder than handling a living human being."

 

So then a slower zombie must be even easier to handle, right? Hence, not as scary, right? Good to see we're seeing eye to eye.

 

"But given how fast the infection spreads, humanity's overall emotional attachment to our loved ones, and our inability to deal with the MAJOR problems until it's too late...why are fast zombies any scarier than slow zombies?"

 

Because they're simply faster, they move quicker, they pose a bigger threat physically. Emotional subplots couldn't be more irrelevant.

 

"Because he's DEAD, duh. I can guarantee you that if you walked into a cemetery at night and saw somebody slowly rising from a shallow grave, you'd piss yourself and probably stand there in shock."

 

No, I'd be scared for a second, then it would be pretty cool, and if he started coming at me threateningly, then it would be time to defend myself. I'd actually probably try to help thinking someone got burried alive realistically....

 

"By saying you have no interest in seeing what almost every zomibe fan calls the epitome of zombie celluloid,"

 

Who the fuck cares what they call it. Did Romero invent the concept of zombies? No. Did the fans of the movie? No. There are no "zombie experts", thank god....

 

"you're throwing them out as if they don't matter, when the rules of the "living dead" zombies come DIRECTLY from his films."

 

Ok well I'm discussing ZOMBIES. Not these zombies or those zombies. General zombies. People who by all appearances are dead but still show simple signs of life like movement and basic thought. There are no fucking rules beyond what logic says. This whole idea that his movies are some sort of zombie rule book makes me giggle....

 

"It's not a real argument because you're saying something happening quickly so that you can barely realize it's happened is scarier than something you know is going to happen and can do very little about...without elaborating."

 

Are you serious? Do I actually have to go back and quote every paragraph because you either can't read or choose to ignore perfectly good points? Knowing something's gonna happen gives me more time to prevent it, is it really that hard to understand? Sorry I'm not a typical movie bitch who freezes every time danger comes near, but if I see some slow, half dead human who apparently, doesn't even have the strength to hurt me, I'm not gonna be a deer in headlights.

 

"I've elaborated on the whole point "slow and painful is scarier than fast" in every post,"

 

You've given descriptions on certain types of death and nothing more. Convenient instances are hardly a justification for general though. I'm beginning to wonder if you know what elaborated means.

 

"and you've just said "I could outrun a slow zombie, or kick it in the head, but a fast one could catch up to me." Come up with a REASON why a fast zombie is scarier other than the fact that they can run with the fastest living humans. Because, after all...you get into a car and a fast zombie ain't shit since they can't catch up to you then."

 

Of course, or you could just shoot them in the head. The point is SCARIER. SCARIER, as in MORE SCARY. A physically imposing zombie is MORE SCARY than one who isn't, that's not saying one can be killed and one can't or one scares me and one doesn't, ONE IS SCARIER. Really not rocket science....

 

But really, let's not talk about saying nothing when you've yet to explain what makes ONE slow zombie scary. You've gone on for paragraphs about what makes numerous slow zombies scary, but nothing on what makes one scary aside from "well he's a walking dead guy!!1". Wake up.

 

"To the whole zombie universe."

 

BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAahahahahahahaha....aha...ha. Now you're just trying to be funny.

 

"A real reason why one fast zombie is scarier than one slow zombie."

 

BECAUSE HE'S ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY IMPOSING. What about that are you missing? Do those words not come up on your monitor? Just so you know, whether or not you agree with it isn't the criteria for something being real.

 

"...the fact that any thread involving any talk of zombies has the people you're arguing with in THIS thread pretty much controlling all aspects of the conversation should be a dead giveaway that we're zombie connoiseurs."

 

Oh I'm sorry, I didn't look up every thread on zombies before I decided to reply here. Silly me....

 

By the way, the whole calling yourself a "zombie expert" and "zombie connoiseurs", it actually makes it HARDER to take you seriously on the subject. Just a heads up.

 

"That and, you know, most of us having something zombie related as either our avatar or in our signature."

 

Ah, next time I debate something with someone I'll be sure to look at there avatar first.....what world do you live in?

 

"And I'm not saying it should stop you from replying, I'm saying it should warn you that making an ass out of yourself in a discussion with any of us is a bad idea, because you're just going to be out-argued, out-debated, and overall OWNED by each and every one of us since we know what the hell we're talking about."

 

All that stuff is soooo much easier to say than it is to do, isn't it? Keep trying though, eventually you'll call yourself a "zombie connoiseur" enough for me to die of laughter.

 

I considering nothing but the merit of someone's arguement when debating with them, doing otherwise is retarded.

 

"Right. Because I've been watching zombie films for the past 14 years,"

 

I can look at the sky for 20 years, does that make it ok for me to say it's green?

 

"have seen the best of the best and the worst of the worst, and studied what makes certain zombies work in films and what makes others not work because I actually want to make a zombie film one day, you obviously know more about the topic than me after watching Dawn '04 one night with your friends as you pass a bowl and laugh as they play Hollywood Squares."

 

I could give two shits about anything other than what you say here in this debate. If your such a zombie genius, than explain it logically, do something other than just say "oh im a zombie expert so what I'm saying is right". That clearly doesn't work...

 

"No, you're a troll because it's becoming more and more obvious that you're just trying to instigate a flamewar since you're arguing the same points over and over without any real insight into anything,"

 

There the most simplistic thoughts possible, they don't require any "insight". Fast zombies are more physically imposing, therefore scarier than slow zombies. What the fuck kind of insight is needed to explain that? Do I need to give you word definitions, explain the structure of a sentence? I'm here for discussion, you want to make it heated, call me a troll and write off what I say either because you disagree with it or because you can't counter the point, do me a favor and just leave the thread.

 

"and whenever somebody brings up some VALID reasoning, you dismiss it by saying "well, zombies aren't real anyway."

 

Where have I said that once? Show me where I did that, remotely, just once. Hell, even better, show me this valid reasoning. Thanks, I'll be waiting.

 

You give me reasoning about the zombie and it's body, I tell you how that's not plausible, rather than explain how it is and I'm wrong, you call me a troll and tell me you're a zombie expert. It's pretty clear which way this is going.

 

"We know zombies aren't real, but in the zombie realm of fiction, certain guidelines apply,"

 

Maybe, but those guidlines are defined by the logic of the idea, not Romero or some nut considers himself a "zombie expert".

 

"and fast zombies not being as scary (because of the fact that they'll kill you quickly)"

 

First of all, you still haven't explained how what happens when they catch you makes one zombier scarier than another. If a shark tears the shit out of me, it's scary while it's happening. Seeing one in the water while on a nice big boat isn't gonna be anywhere near as scary. Same logic.

 

Secondly, you still haven't said how they kill any faster than a slow zombie. You can't slowly dig a hand into a man's stomache to eat his guts, you can't slowly take a bite of a guys head, these are things that require quick force to accomplish.

 

"as slow zombies (since they'll SLOWLY, PAINFULLY eat you as you scream in utter horror, and chances are you'll know half of them from some point in your life) is basically one of them."

 

Yeah we know what happens WHEN THEY CATCH YOU. Too bad that's not what the point was about.

 

 

I've never been in a debate this ridiculous....

[Guest Fishyswa]

"Fishyswa.... try and kick a zombie in the head... did you forget that you're risking its mouth digging into your leg in the slightest way and making you enevitably a stupid slow mindless zombie yourself?!"

 

Yeah the likelyhood of that happening is what? 0?

 

"Seriously, this guy just keeps saying the same shit over and over again. I almost feel like I'm being baited into something because it's just too overly ridiculous."

 

What logic have you guys presented that I've ignored? What good point have I refused to swallow? Just because you guys say "we're right" any arguement I present is wrong by default? NO.

 

"If you're not willing to even see the definitive zombie flicks then you have no right to voice an 'opinion' on what is scarier. End of story."

 

I'm a human with the ability to get scared and a basic knowledge of what a zombie is. NOTHING else is required to debate that faster zombies are scarier than slower zombies. NOTHING. I don't need to be a card carrying member of the "I fuck zombies" club...

[Nighthawk 0]

Oh man...

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

For the record, George Romero DID invent what is commonly referred to as a zombie, since almost every zombie movie until Night of the Living Dead involved voodoo rituals and mindless drones instead of the living dead craving living flesh between their jaws.

 

When I say "tear limb from limb," I mean "tear you apart." I guarantee you that three men, not even that strong, could rip open your stomach and pull out your entrails. So why couldn't 3 or 4 zombies?

 

And if you really want to get into it, NO zombies are actually that scary. Slow zombies? Pfft, in Fishy's world, emotional attachment to his now walking dead loved ones is irrelevant, and he's an ass-kicking machine. So, of course, he'd kick their heads off and run right by them. Fast zombies? Oh, fuck that. I'd dodge the few of them that came close, much like a receiver dodges linebackers, and then get into my car and drive off at top speeds.

 

Okay, I'm done with this. It's not even worth arguing anymore. So...vivi, Satanico, Kido...one of y'all mind getting a link to a site that explains zombies in a scientic manner? I know there's a couple out there, but I haven't visited them since I was in high school.

[SuperJerk 0]

I think the reason Zombies don't run is because running requires effort. Effort is for the living.

[Yuna_Firerose 0]

But really, let's not talk about saying nothing when you've yet to explain what makes ONE slow zombie scary.

....This is actually true. I've read through the thread as a passer-by, not really partaking in the argument. I applaud both of the debating skills presented and, no matter which side one is on, *hopefully* they can step back and say 'Well this person made a good point, although this person is also correct'...

 

Zombies are scary, fine, acceptable, particuraly in their plural form. Get a horde around you, well, its all over but the cryin' (and eating... and chewing...)

 

But, it seems to me, Fishyswa is discussing just *one slow zombie*. Not a group, not a pair, just one.

 

Scenario: walk into a graveyard, see a person rise from the grave (for debate purposes, lets say it is your dear old, I don't know, Granny Fran. {Walken-SNL fans might get that one} Been dead... oh, lets say six months). You're scared shitless cuz, bleedin' jesus on a pogo stick, ITS A DEAD PERSON!!! MOVING!! What do ya do? Well... two things: stare. scream. run. Okay, sorry, three. Moving on.

 

Running, running... turn back to see if its close. Is it? No. Its...............way back there. Shuffling about in your general direction.

 

Noone around for it to infect, noone to assist in this hunt. A snail passed by it ten minutes ago.

 

Going up and drop-kicking is, I'm sorry Fishyswa, a bit on the implausible side. The smell, the sight...one couldn't really get used to a walking dead thing that quickly. I mean, your average Joe.

 

Is the suddenly-un-alive-and-walking Granny Fran scary? Fuck yeah. The sight alone is atrocious. But would one fear for its life from that ONE ZOMBIE (again, not a group, just one) .....perhaps.