Guest Fook Report post Posted December 8, 2005 (edited) Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. I have to ask, what's with this sudden Chuck Norris thing? In the past few weeks I've started seeing "Chuck Norris Facts" pop up everywhere. Edited December 8, 2005 by Fook Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Frank_Nabbit Report post Posted December 8, 2005 You doubt the greatness of Chuck? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
swan 0 Report post Posted December 8, 2005 There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.... Nice job Duke. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Red Baron 0 Report post Posted December 8, 2005 Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses. In response to his challenge, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked MC Hammer so hard that he went bankrupt. Chuch Norris then bellowed, "I can touch this," while he pelvic thrusted in Hammer's general direction. When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper. Chuck Norris' sidekick on Walker Texas Ranger isn't black, he's bruised. In 1959 Stephen Hawking became the first and only person to outsmart Chuck Norris. He learned his lesson. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Black Lushus 0 Report post Posted December 8, 2005 I don't know what Piss and Kotz are talking about, this thread is funny as shit! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaosrage 0 Report post Posted December 8, 2005 The role of Alf, from the hit 80s TV show of the same name was actually played by Chuck Norris' penis. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
haws bah gawd 0 Report post Posted December 8, 2005 These jokes are so simple, yet some of the funniest shit I've ever read. Keep 'em coming. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted December 9, 2005 Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. I have to ask, what's with this sudden Chuck Norris thing? In the past few weeks I've started seeing "Chuck Norris Facts" pop up everywhere. It's the same thing with Vin Diesel too. I don't know how they start, but I love them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Red Baron 0 Report post Posted December 9, 2005 Vin Diesel ones are pretty weak, but there are some good Mr. T ones out there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JMA Report post Posted December 9, 2005 You have to wonder if Chuck Norris could take down Bill Braskey. Book it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fook Report post Posted December 10, 2005 God actually wanted to keep working on the seventh day, but Chuck Norris said "Have a seat, I'll take it from here." God knew better than to argue. Chuck Norris knows the exact value of Pi. There is a Book of Norris, but it was removed from the bible for being too awesome for us mere mortals to comprehend. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cowboy Battlenuts 0 Report post Posted December 11, 2005 Chuck Norris doesn't wear pants when he snowboards. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted December 14, 2005 http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1642842/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted December 16, 2005 Awesome. I like how he throws two kicks before talking to the camera, like it was nothing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted December 16, 2005 I don't know what Piss and Kotz are talking about, this thread is funny as shit! The more recent ones before I agreed with him were pretty bad. It's improved by leaps and bounds since. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted December 16, 2005 http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1598960/ Should we just sweep this under the rug, or what? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted December 16, 2005 http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1598960/ Should we just sweep this under the rug, or what? ...that just shattered his whole image... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted December 16, 2005 Okay, I'm sick of Chuck Norris jokes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fook Report post Posted December 16, 2005 If you look in a mirror and say "Chuck Norris" three times, he will appear and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Chuck Norris. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes. Ever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted December 16, 2005 Okay, I'm sick of Chuck Norris jokes. these are facts, not jokes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted December 16, 2005 Chuck Norris took a shit, and we better know that shit as New Zealand, ha ha ha ha! wait wait I got one Chuck Norris once ordered a rack of ribs but they weren't to his liking, so he didn't just send them back, he went out and killed the pig himself for a new rack! And then he killed the mayor of Houston and smeared the mayor's blood on his chest, declaring "I am the alpha male!" I'm saying a joke is old, what has the world come to Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
daileyxplanet 0 Report post Posted December 17, 2005 Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked KITT from Nightrider so hard we now call him Mr. Feeny. It wasn't David who killed Goliath, but Chuck Norris warming up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted December 18, 2005 Chuck Norris is the only known man who actually has powerbombed Kidman. Sid didn't crap his pants because of an Undertaker Chokeslam. It was because he saw Chuck Norris sitting in the front row. Who raised the briefcase, drove the hummer, and sent Booker T that letter? Chuck Norris did, but he asked not to be revealed for any of them because he thought all three storylines sucked. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted December 19, 2005 We did this thread before, with Kane. Can we close this? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Niggardly King 0 Report post Posted December 19, 2005 These remind me of the Maven's Dropkick facts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angle-plex 0 Report post Posted December 19, 2005 I actually watched the ultimate combination of films last night: Delta Force and Death Wish 3. Nothing quite like missles on a motorcycle to make a kick ass movie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vern Gagne 0 Report post Posted December 19, 2005 I heard Chuck Norris killed Lee Marvin soon after Delta Force finished filming. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted December 19, 2005 I actually watched the ultimate combination of films last night: Delta Force and Death Wish 3. Nothing quite like missles on a motorcycle to make a kick ass movie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted December 19, 2005 what's with adding a movie they've done to the middle of their name? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted December 19, 2005 what's with adding a movie they've done to the middle of their name? How many (normal, well-adjusted) people would readily know who Persis Khambatta was? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
